A Reasonable One

As someone who suffers from chronic pain, I really identify with Gale. That's something a lot of people seem to gloss over. He's in PAIN but they don't care. Or maybe they don't even notice. I tried to explain that to my friend but she told me he's just being dramatic and annoying...

Show this to your friend.

Gale's pain is glaringly difficult for him to handle. I'd also make the same argument for Karlach and Shadowheart. All three of them clearly suffer from chronic pain. Just because we don't see it 24/7, that doesn't mean it isn't there.

How a friendship (or a relationship) should NOT make you feel:

What if I’m not good enough to be their friend/partner?

If I keep doing everything in my power to please/impress this person, then maybe they’ll someday acknowledge me and like me

I’m not worth their attention. I was stupid to expect them to care about me. I should have known I’m not special to them from the start.

What they just did crushes me inside and makes me feel invisible/worthless/forgettable/abandoned but I know it’s my fault for being like this and I can never bring it up or they’ll think I’m a freak

I should stuff my feelings down and accept that I’m just not that important and that if they accidentally walk all over me this is fine and I have to find a way to be at peace with it

I wish they would give me at least half as much attention as I’m giving them. But if I bring it up, they’ll think I expect too much or that I’m keeping count and I shouldn’t. Maybe one day they’ll return the attention.

I don’t feel cared about at all. I feel just as lonely as when I didn’t have anyone, but now also scared that it’s my fault.

I’m scared of what they’re going to think of me if I say how I feel. I’m scared what they’re going to think if they find out more about me.

I can tell I’ll be abandoned as soon as I confront them about anything unfair and painful they’ve done to me.

I want to have someone but this is painful.

I don’t think they realize my feelings are real, and that I’m a real person who exists even at time when they don’t need me. I don’t think I can explain this to them.

I feel used, but it’s my fault for allowing them to use me. I need to figure this out myself.

I feel that for every good thing I do for their life, they make mine more painful and unbearable. They don’t even notice it because they don’t know what I’m going thru. And I don’t dare to tell them.

If I tell them what’s painful for me, when they inevitably do it again, I’ll know they knew they’re hurting me. I wouldn’t be able to stand it.

Would they just be happier without me?

I’m spending more time fretting and over-analyzing what they’re going to do than enjoying their stay in my life..

I don’t think this person ever cared about me. They only saw what they could get out of me.

I feel like crying repeatedly when I remember things they did and said to me

I feel that they want to keep me even when it’s incredibly painful for me to endure it. I want to be set free. Why won’t they let me go.

If this is your experience in a friendship or a relationship, it’s not love and care that you’re getting out of it. These situation should not happen in a loving, healthy and mutually caring friendships or relationships.

It’s unlikely that you feel slighted by things that aren’t meant to slight you. Being ignored, neglected, left behind, manipulated, used, lead on, groomed, shamed, forced to fear what their perception of you is - those are all scenarios that would upset and bring pain and misery to every single person. You’re not irrational for feeling this, and you don’t have to hide it. If someone is repeatedly making you feel this way, you’re more than justified in leaving. You don’t need to endure this for anyone.

Pictured: Gale rolling a nat 1 on his insight check

Take this with you

New favorite B Dylan Hollis quotes:

"Tomato spice: if pumpkin spice got hit by a bus."

"If this red flag was any bigger, it would be a blanket."

"Looks like barbecue sauce, smells of death."

"It tastes like someone killed Italy."

"How do you know when a laxative is done baking?"

"Good morning, it's time for mayonnaise."

"Mid-century America has produced many suspect salads, many of which continue to leak out of the angsty states of Wisconsin and Minnesota."

*incoherent screaming upon salt package spilling onto the floor*

"This tastes like a diagnosis."

Lessons I have learned:

People in the 60s were very creative with gelatin, for better and for worse.

The absence of sugar in WW2 encouraged the use of raisins in desserts, which raises a number of questions as for why they continued to be used after.

Margarine is the work of the devil and should be treated as such.

Repeat after me:

It is OKAY to have content preferences and to be uncomfortable with certain ships or topics, controversial or not. It is OKAY to distance yourself from such content and block certain tags or creators.

It is NOT OKAY to actively hate and harass real people for creating content of fictional characters that features things that make you uncomfortable.

Do you think you do this to yourself?

I think I tend to do this occasionally when my family members gaslight or manipulate me into thinking I'm a horrible person for living normally. When individualism isn't recognized, codependency, enmeshment and close mindedness causes toxic behaviours from others (imo).

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Shoutout to Baldurs Gate 3 for having a magical girl transformation sequence but instead of a teenager in a short skirt it's a lesbian aasimar paladin in full plate about to open 13 cans of fucking whoop ass