𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

do you like how i walk?

do you like how i walk?

do you like how my face disintegrates into walk?

"Is a donut part of the grain food group? Because grain is supposed to be good for your body, but donuts are all glazed and sugary. I get that if you get rid of the glaze and sugar, it's just grain, but that's not a donut without all that glaze and sugar. It's like, you can't~ you can't have a donut without sugar. It's just not a donut without sugar. It's a fonut. A fake donut. Or even better, a tunod. "

"???"

"That's donut backwards. A tunod. Yes. A sugarless donut is called a tunod. I absolutely despise tunods, and they can go to hell. They would probably taste like sour bread and give you an aneurysm. I swear, if tunods ever get put into existence, I will cry. I will sue whoever made it and flood their production line. All of the tunods will be flooded and nobody will ever get another tunod. Now my stomach hurts talking about tunods, because they will 100% give everybody food poisoning. And now I'm just really tired of talking about tunods, mostly because I never wanted to talk about tunods, because they suck. So let's talk about some else. Like towels. Towels are nice. They keep you warm. And dry. Cloths are similar to towels. But most cloths are smaller than other towels. And cloths are usually used to get rid of spills. The word cloths look like the word clothes. Like the kind of stuff that you wear. Or hats. Hats are like clothes, but for your hair. Unless you're bald. Then it's for your ghost hair." "I'm beginning to question if I chose the right host."

"Hats can be used to make people think that your hair is still there if you're bald. They can help you pretend you still have hair. Impostor hair. Speaking of hair, I've never gotten a different hairstyle at my local hair salon. It's always "2 on the sides, and 7 on the front." Then they're like "Regular for the back?" and I'm like "Yup." They know me well. My family knows me well. My dad knows the sore spot on my back where he hits me with his belt. Belts hurt. A canvas D-ring belt hurts too. I have no idea what a canvas D-ring belt is, or if it even exists, but it sounds painful. This case is open and shut. Just like his mouth was, constantly. That was my last fat joke, ok? That was from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Watch the show. What's that? You have? Watch it again. I watch it before breakfast and forget to eat. I like breakfast. Breakfast tastes good. Unlike tunods. Sorry, sorry~ I should not of brought that up. Nobody likes that. I wonder how many words I've said so far."

"I am trying to not blow my cover, please don't distract me."

"And you will probably succeed. Because my fingers WILL fall off eventually. Like when I play text-adventure games. I enjoy text-adventure games. They're fun to play, and to create. But sometimes they're SO annoying. Like I would say: "look around" and it's like >There's nothing to look at. Like, what? There has to be SOMETHING to look at in the stupid room or church or whatever the character is in. He can't just be in blank nothingness. Or she. Or they, my bad. I need to get better at using pronouns correctly. Sorry. Forgive me. Please, accept my forgiveness. Forgive me my sins. I beg you. Okay, I'm not that desperate. But what if I am? What if I'm playing mind games with you, and I really AM desperate? Um, puppies are cute, I like cats better, I am speaking in an Australian accent, that's a lie, what I just said is false, I lied, this is false, I am not correct, this is not a debate. I can't believe we came this far. Talking about donuts to hats to random stuff. I'm gonna stop here soon because my voice hurts. I'll say a couple more sentences. Shoutout to Reddit (I am not getting paid to say that) and Discord. I like Discord. Discord is really cool. Numbers, 12345, 67, 89, 10. Letters, ABCD, EF, GH I am bored." "MAKE IT STOP. PLEASE."

You have been possessed by a demon. Instead of panicking, you realize an important truth: you're trapped in your own body with a demon at the wheel, but you're still in the car, and you have the power to make them regret every single second they spend with you.

Forever in awe of how undeniably silly this guy is.

why did we as a society stop putting gargoyles on everything. what fucking loser looked at a building and was like no actually this doesn’t need a horrid little creacher

what am i supposed to say about this

i feel like this is something necessary to provide to the public

"I have living breathing things in this classroom and they're not you."

"You guys are going to make me up my antidepressant dose."

There’s a scientific journal called “Get me off Your Fucking Mailing List”.

In 2005, computer scientists David Mazières and Eddie Kohler created this highly profane ten-page paper as a joke, to send in replying to unwanted conference invitations. It literally just contains that seven-word phrase over and over, along with a nice flow chart and scatter-plot graph.

An Australian computer scientist named Peter Vamplew sent it to the International Journal of Advanced Computer Technology in response to spam from the journal. Apparently, he thought the editors might simply open and read it.

Instead, they automatically accepted the paper — with an anonymous reviewer rating it as “excellent” — and requested a fee of $150. While this incident is pretty hilarious, it’s a sign of a bigger problem in science publishing. This journal is one of many online-only, for-profit operations that take advantage of inexperienced researchers under pressure to publish their work in any outlet that seems superficially legitimate.