This Is So Realistic Actually

“literature is dead!!! 😓” and it’s literally just a book with smut.

WHAT THEY WOULD SAY DURING SEX (COD +18)

* I have a soft spot for Keegan, im sorry

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE

Ghost

“I know it's big”

“arch your back, just like that”

“Did you want this? Say it"

“Stick out your tongue or I won't give you anything”

“Such a whore, now you don't act like a brat in front of everyone anymore, huh?”

“Are you listening? open your fucking legs"

“Good girl, let everyone hear how much you love having my cock inside”

“An angel who wants to be fucked by me, how pathetic”

Soap

“Where’s my innocent girl?”

“Show me how much you want it”

“Fuck, you're so cute when you struggle to stay still”

"Use your words"

“Get on your fucking knees”

“You’re sucking it so good, baby, can you take it down your throat?"

“Do you want me to cum here? You want it? Do you want me to fill that pretty mouth?”

“You're all dirty, come here”

Price

“Look at you, always trying to flirt with the higher ranking ones”

“Lie down on my desk”

“You're so wet, did you need a spanking to make you behave?”

“Cum. Now."

“You're still so needy, even though I just fucked you”

“Look how much you came, you wet my uniform”

“Call me sir or I will have to punish you again”

“I fuck you harder, so you will show me some respect”

Gaz

“You belong to me, am I clear?”

“You acted like a brat, now you pay the consequences”

“You’re so pretty you are when you moan for me”

"I love you so much"

“You can give me another one, pretty girl”

“Be good for me, cum on my cock”

“Do you like it, sugar?”

“Don't lie, your wet pussy is begging for mercy”

Alejandro

“I knew you would be good while I was at work”

“Did you touch yourself?”

“You're so cute, keep begging me”

“This pussy is so good, mi amor”

“That’s it, legs around my face, just like that”

“Fuck, I had no idea you were so sensitive”

“Do you like my tongue?”

“Don't look at me like that or I won't stop eating your pussy”

Graves

“Keep riding me, don't you dare stop”

“Do you feel it? Do you feel how good my cock fills you?”

“You like being on top of me, don’t you?”

“I just said a word and you're already bouncing on my cock”

"What did you say? I can't understand with all those moans"

“Good, just like that”

“I told you not to tease me in front of Shadows”

“I know you were just being a brat because you want to get fucked.”

König

"Do not run away"

“God, you're so small I could break you”

"It's big? huh?”

“You can't even take my cock properly, look at you”

“Don't cry, I only put on the tip”

“You're so tight, I might go crazy”

“Stop moving, you have to take it all”

“I don't give a fuck if it doesn't fit, take my cock like a good whore”

* He tends to switch to speaking only in German when he loses control

Keegan

“My eyes are up here”

“You do what I say, if I want you to cum, you cum, whore”

“I noticed how you looked at those recruits, you wanted their dicks too, huh?“

“What's the matter, are you shy now?”

“Do you like being fucked like a whore? This is what you deserve."

"You do not talk anymore? You won't get anything if you don't tell me what you want."

“This is my girl, always greedy for my cum”

"You want to come? Then start counting”

—

pt 2

JAKE SULLY HEADCANONS ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ

☁︎ he will traumatise you immensely and have your home blown up

i absolutely agree that xreader can be so healing and promote self love and acceptance in unique and powerful ways but also it lets you fuck nasty with your faves and i think that is just so beautiful

gymforge 2.0

"am i really that old?" lucifer wonders on the train later

(you've probably seen them already but references taken from this post + the original tweet)

-> the follow-up

So we’ve all seen the posts on MC telling the brothers absurd lies about humans and just letting them believe it right?

Hear me out here: making the brothers watch the entirety of “Cunk on Earth” and just letting them believe that it is a 100% factual show.

—

"When are you evolving skin made of bricks?" Belphie mumbles into your skin, pulling you closer. “What?” you ask, still sleepy from your nap. “You know, what the lady said. About the brick skin,” you stir slightly, remembering that tonights episode had mentioned it. “Oh yeah,” you say. “I think it’s gonna be another thirty years or so,” you say, running your fingers through his hair. “Why?”

Belphegor opens his eyes for approximately three seconds and gives you a bleary-eyed look. “I was jus’ thinkin’” he mumbles and snuggles deeper into the cushions. “It’s gonna be really inconvenient to cuddle when you’re made of bricks,”

—

"Isn’t it crazy that nineteen out of twenty people are criminals?” Satan mumbles to Asmodeus, while sorting through his books, looking for a particular one. Asmodeus shrugs while filing his nails. “I don’t know, seems pretty accurate to me.”

—

"What are these?" Solomon asks looking at the bag of eggs Mammon has placed in front of him. He looks up at the demon with furrowed brows. "Eggs," Mammon says as a matter of fact and pushes the basket closer to the baffled wizard. "May I ask why?" Solomon says and pushes the basket back to Mammon again.

“They're human money? It’s to pay for my debt," Mammon states. “You’ve really forgotten how things work in the human world, old man.” Mammon laughs, walking away and leaving a very confused Solomon with a basket full of eggs.

—

"Thank Diavolo, Charles Darwin invented evolution. I'd hate it if you were a fossil." Leviathan says one night when you’re playing video games in his room. You let out a surprised giggle, which causes your fingers to slip on the controller. Leviathan stares at the big red “game over” on the screen as you apologize profusely, while simultaneously choking on your own laughter.

“Actually never mind, I want Darwin to reverse evolution again.”

—

"Santa came to visit every Christmas from when I was 3 years old till I was like 14," you say and look up when you feel a sudden change in the air. Lucifer is looking at you worriedly and places a hand on your thigh. "Wow, wanna talk about it?" he asks and your brows furrow. "It's not that serious, is it really?" you say and Lucifer shakes his head, making a tsk sound. "Typical humans, always downplaying their emotions," he says and pulls you towards him, causing you to tumble into his lap. He pats your head. "Being visited by a home intruder must have been really difficult for you," he says and you blink, remembering Philomena Cunk referring to Santa as "the world's most popular home intruder".

"Oh yeah, I guess it was kind of hard," you lie, internally dying as Lucifer coos at you.

—

"What are they doing?" Solomon asks, sitting down beside you. You look up from your homework to the two demons saying nonsense at each other.

"Katze!"

"Genau!"

"I don't know, you can ask them," you say and return to your homework, leaving the wizard to deal with the two idiots. "Hey, what's going on?" Solomon calls out and Beelzebub and Belphegor's heads snap towards you. Beelzebub's lips curl into a smile and he shrugs nonchalantly. Belphegor rolls his eyes.

"We're speaking the code language that MC taught us," Belphegor drawls and Solomon looks at you. You grin at him. "Yeah, it's called German,"

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𐙚 ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ...  ╰┈➤ 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚙 𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚜 ༄.°

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: must be signed into twitter to view these links ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ɪɴ ᴘᴜʙʟɪᴄ !!

✰ Steve manhandling you as much as he pleases to push his cock in just right.

✰ Steve fucking you against the wall after you were being needy at a party.

✰ Steve fingering you in his bedroom while everyone else is out in the living room.

✰ Sub!Steve begging you to sit on his face.

✰ Steve filling you up with his cum.

✰ Bf!Steve taking his sweet time eating you out to make it last longer.

✰ Nomad!Steve fucking you rough after he's able to steal you away.

✰ Steve fingering you in his truck.

✰ Steve likes to be softer during sex sometimes.

✰ Giving a blowjob to Steve - he doesn't want to hurt you.

just watched the perks of being a wallflower. pls do not perceive me.

Namu Amida Butsu