Friendly Reminder To All Aces

Friendly Reminder to all Aces

You are absolutely valid and on the asexual spectrum even if:

You have a sex drive. Even if it’s a high one. Because that is not sexual attraction.

You engage in erotica, pornographic material, explicit fanart or fanfiction. Because that is not sexual attraction.

You feel arousal. Because that is not sexual attraction. (While it can happen as a result, it is merely your body’s response to certain stimuli, and yes, people on the asexual spectrum do indeed masturbate.)

You have romantic feelings for someone, or are in a romantic relationship. Because, and say it with me, that is not sexual attraction.

You have sex, enjoy talking about it, make sex jokes or even flirt. Because that is not sexual attraction.

I can’t exactly tell you what sexual attraction is per say, my experience with it is very subtle, and more along the lines of “I trust and love this person enough to do… stuff with them” and everyone is different in that regard.

For me, it is wrapped in more emotions, vulnerability and getting lost in the moment that it isn’t a clear cut thing and more an experience overall. (and I’ve only felt for one person ever, shout out to the boyfriend whenever he gets around to reading this! And I’m not counting the fictional crushes here because that is another ballpark entirely.)

So I wrote this for all the asexuals, gray asexuals, my fellow demisexuals, and anyone else that’s ace spec, because this stuff is nuanced and confusing, trust me, I had an existential crisis for about an hour when I first learned that demisexuality was a thing.

And now to hope that there aren’t any typos in this thing.