*clenches Fist* Kaladin Would Want Me To Keep Going

Current theory is that "Knights of Wind and Truth" is the book Kaladin and Szeth write while bored out of their minds on the Shinovar trip. That title has all the vibes of a group project with horrible compromises

Marsh: Sees Moash with crystal spikes in his eyes

Pulls out his iron eye spikes.

Cleans them on his shirt.

Pops them back in.

“So my eyes aren’t deceiving me! we’re just doing knock off brands of everything now, huh?”

If Era 1 Mistborn and Stormlight characters met each other…

If the Era 1 Mistborn gang and the Stormlight characters happened to meet up, what would that be like? 

[Includes spoilers through Rhythm of War & Era 1 Mistborn!] 1.  Dalinar & Elend

Elend: And THEN the council voted ME out! Man, democracy is just so hard!

Dalinar: Have you considered straight-up tyranny?

Elend: A-actually, yeah. Unfortunately.

Elend: It just…works so well…

Dalinar: I know.

Dalinar: Let’s not dwell on it.

2.  Shallan & Vin

Vin: My mom tried to kill me.

Shallan: Same.

Vin: Luckily I had my brother who cared for me. But he also had a cruel streak.

Shallan: Yeah—trust me, I know.

Vin: I trained as a thief & con artist for a while.

Shallan: Oh hey, me too! And that’s fun, but I also like wearing nice clothes and marrying someone socially above my station, you know?

Vin: Yeah, same!

Shallan: But also…I’ve murdered, just, so many people. Including family!

Vin: Killed my boyfriend’s dad.

Vin: And ex-fiancee.

Vin: And brother.

Shallan: Yeah, the murders just keep coming!

Vin: Crazy how that works.

3.  Straff & Sadeas

Sadeas: Knifed in a hallway by my nemesis’s son. Right into the brain. Eye popped and everything.

Straff: Literally cut in half by a giant sword wielded by my son’s girlfriend. My horse, too.

Sadeas: Bro.

Straff: Bro.

4.  Breeze & Sebarial

Breeze: Well, it certainly is nice to relax with a glass of wine & let the other characters make the jokes, isn’t it?

Sebarial: …why did I just get you wine??

5.  Sazed & Sigzil

Sigzil: And as a Worldsinger, I learn about other places and then share that knowledge to bring people together.

Sazed: That’s simply wonderful! I think feruchemy would work so well for you!

Sigzil: It does seem like an amazing power.

Sazed: Also, do you ever want to, just…

Sigzil: …strangle Hoid?

Sazed: Yeah.

Sigzil: Yeah.

Kelsier: Yeah!!!

Sazed: Kelsier, get to your own section! 

6.  Spook & Lift

Lift: So you…eat metal. And it gives you powers?

Spook: Yeah. I get my power from burning Tin.

Lift: After you eat it?

Spook: After I eat it.

Lift: Sucks to be you! I get my power from PANCAKES. 

7.  Marsh & Navani

Marsh: …and with these metal spikes piercing my body, I gained a number of powers. Also immortality. Apparently.

Navani: I am so horrified. And so intrigued. You’re going to make SUCH good research!

Marsh: The horror doesn’t, you know, put you off?

Navani: Nah, you should have seen my last research partner.

8.  TenSoon & Kaladin 

Kaladin: So you are a…puppy?

TenSoon: Well, I have the ability to consume the bones of a canine and then take on this shape.

Kaladin: [nodding]

TenSoon: That doesn’t…disturb you at all?

Kaladin: I don’t know enough about dogs to judge.

9.  Zane & Szeth

Zane: And basically, with the voice of God constantly in my ear encouraging me to kill, I did that! Kill, I mean.

Szeth: Obeying an unknown disembodied voice because you thought it might be god? What foolishness.

Zane: Didn’t you obey a rock?

Szeth: That was DIFFERENT.

10.   Kelsier & Moash 

Kelsier: The thing is—aristocrats just gotta be murdered, you know?

Kelsier: You look into their faces, see the reflection of their endless crimes, and just think, “Yup. Murder time.”

Kelsier: And some people are like, “Kelsier, stop murdering everyone!”

Kelsier: And it’s like—do I tell YOU not to do what YOU’RE good at?

Kelsier: I’m good at three things! Survival. Starting cults. And murder.

Moash: …

Moash: I think I love you.

Fun fact: Shallan lost the ability to transform into Veil not because she incorporated her after accepting her traumatic past, but rather because the second she rejected Kaladin Stormface the Charming Flying Man, Veil decided she could no longer work in such a hostile work environment and handed in her two weeks notice.

I am manifesting with all my soul that Kaladin gets something cool to do in the (presumed?) 10 years before the Heralds need to return for the Odium showdown again. Therapy is great and all, but after 2-3 years I think most of Kaladin's work will be done and it will be up to the Heralds themselves to put into practice what they had learned/discovered.

I need Kaladin to be conveniently summoned/manifested offworld and save a planet from inevitable doom. I need a Kaladin training arc with Taln and Nale from which he will emerge an absolute menace to the larger Cosmere.

I need it so that when he finally gets his dramatic return in the second arc of Stormlight he will single-handedly turn the tide of the war.

I am Kaladin fanboy trash and I am not ashamed to admit it.

Stormlight Archive brain mush. SPOILER THOUGHTS.

Can we talk about Kaladin "I had nine carefree days after going off the deep end and trying very hard to kill myself before deciding to sacrifice myself to save all the spren with my fingers crossed that the Wind and insane as fuck Ishar had a plan for it to not result in my eternal torture" Stormblessed??? That boy is not right in the head. And not because he suffers from PTSD and depression, but bc he thinks nine days of sorta fun is enough for him to know anything about self care.

That poor sweet (not?) gloomy asshole.

Kaladin Stormface in the Way of Kings: Ain't no way this little wind spren is capable of human speech

Kaladin in Wind and Truth: So when I played the flute I got from the immortal trickster, I got to talk to The Wind™️ and she told me that the whole gaddamn pantheon of eternal saints needs therapy which I only invented less than a week ago. Hope the world doesn't end before I can get around to that.

Looking back at Wind and Truth, I'm really glad I didn't reread any of the previous Stormlight books since Branderson had graciously decided to send half of the characters to the fucking Flashback Realm™️ so that you are essentially forced to reread all of the important scenes anyways...

Silly comic about the episode where they worked in their formal fits.

They slayed so hard that episode it was DISTRACTING

Jasnah to become pathetic wet cat just as the Wet Cat Boys Caillou and 7ft Sigmund Freud finally leave wetcatness behind them, nobly maintaining pathetic balance on roshar