Hello I Saw In Your Tags That You Don't Think People On Here Get Casey Stoner And As Someone Relatively

What Changes Were Made in the FIA Sporting Code regarding Driver Conduct penalties?

I want to clarify a few things regarding the new regulations the FIA published with regard to penalties for driver conduct.

None of the written rules were changed. All of the listed points were in the rules starting 2024(some prior, these have been an ongoing encroachment on conduct within the sport)

What has changed is 2 things.

The actual name and nature of Appendix B

The penalty system outlined for breaching these guidelines

Formerly Appendix B was the "Code of Good Conduct". Now it's the "Steward's Penalty Guidelines"

Here is what the former code of good conduct looked like (It has been removed from the FIA website and replaced with the current new document)

Now you can find all of these rules for driver conduct and the FIA stating that these are punishable actions under the article 12 of International Sporting Code of the FIA. None of these rules are new.

What is new are the specified penalties to be handed out for infractions of these rules of conduct. The new appendix outlines specific scales of punishment that should accompany these specific infractions. The outlining of fines as well as further punitive measures required if a driver is found to be in violation of the regulation by the stewards is what is new.

Specifically the amount of fines, as well as the requirement for an apology, points deductions and race bans are all new.

In addition to the stipulation for a 2 year time period on these accruing penalty levels.

You can find all of this at the FIA regulations page. However the old version of Appendix B is unavailable and is hard to find online since it's been replaced.

Article 12 in the ISC deals with the scale of penalties.

Appendix B is the Steward's Penalty Guidelines

Appendix L chapter 4 is driver conduct guidelines

Hopefully this clears some things up about what has changed and what it means for driver conduct and how drivers may be penalized this year.

Note: I am against these changes and this penalty structure.

no nuance! reblog or comment yes I'll follow everyone

George Russell as the yellow/red tail hawk

Hey. Hi. Hello. Today I learned about the existence of 15th century Welsh poet Gwerful Mechain and that she apparently has a surviving work of erotic poems.

Please. For Christmas. For Yule. Please tell me more because I can't read Welsh.

Heh heh. Oh, Gwerful Mechain is the absolute best.

(Quick housekeeping to keep the post manageable - I previously wrote about things like cynghanedd and cywydds and englyns and such here, so check that if you need an explanation.)

What's fun is that we don't know a ton about her, because not a lot got written down about people in her time. Her surviving work covers a 40ish year span at the end of the 1400s to just into the 1500s, but we don't know when she was born or died or anything like that. We know her parents' names? And that she was from Mechain, hence the bardic name. And that she married a guy and had a daughter, something which actually does mark out her body of work as different from her contemporaries; being a wife and mother, she couldn't do the usual bardic role of travelling the country to spread news and play at courts. This means she doesn't have any of the praise poetry that a lot of male bards produced about the lords that hosted them.

But, there's stuff we can piece together about her. For one thing, she was not just literate (not a universal skill for anyone at that point, but especially for women), but she was astonishingly well-read and had what appears to be a classical education, given her poetic references and traditional Welsh meters. For another, her work often had recurring themes of religion, sex, and women's rights, sometimes all at the same time.

At the point Gwerful was active, Welsh bardic culture heavily featured ymrysonau. An ymryson is like... well, I hesitate to say "sort of like a rap battle" after the way everyone and their dog now thinks that's what the Mari Lwyd does, but they were like a cross between a rap battle and the publication war between two rival academics. A bard would write an englyn and publish it in the local parish newsletter. Another bard would see this, and write their own englyn about how stupid the first bard's englyn was, and publish it in the same newsletter. The first bard would see this and retaliate. The second bard would retaliate to that. And on and on it would go, like a printed tennis match for all the parishioners to enjoy, until someone wrote a conclusive verse OR until someone went "Lol, you got me good there" and bowed out with dignity. Sometimes, these things were fucking vicious; but other times, they were just banter between two bards who knew each other and were enjoying the chance to keep their poetic skills in tip top condition.

Now, Gwerful was an active and enthusiastic participant in ymrysonau. We have many examples of her work from these. There are two of particular note that I'll list here, each against a different bard:

Dafydd Llwyd o Fathafarn. Mathafarn and Mechain are not so distant from one another, so no real surprise that these two locked horns a lot, but the impression I always got from their ymrysonau is that they were good mates, actually. These fell into the 'banter' category more often than not. Dafydd was a Welsh Nationalist who was hoping for a Welshman to rise up and throw off the yoke of English oppression, and most of his work is about that, but he turned up the filthy erotic shit for any ymryson with Gwerful because BOY HOWDY was that her specialty. IIRC she did occasionally poke fun at his Welsh Nash leanings, especially his obsession with Mab Darogan (OLD Welsh idea that translates to the Son of Prophesy - the Arthur-style figure that will one day drive out the English overlords), but mostly their ymrysonau were incredibly beautifully-written odes that could be summed up as "Dafydd, my man, my good friend, I mean this sincerely: suck my entire clit".

She often won.

Ieuan Dyfi. God, what a fucking asshole. This one was not banter. Gwerful played for blood with this prick.

We actually would know nothing about Ieuan Dyfi if not for Gwerful Mechain, because it was her poetic response to him that meant his only surviving poems made it to the modern day; that, and the record of him being brought before a church court where he admitted adultery with Anni Goch, a married woman. Oh, and the record of him being brought before the law courts at Liverpool, accused of domestic abuse and gambling? If I remember right?

Two things to know that set the scene for what came next:

One of Gwerful Mechain's surviving poems is an englyn considered to be possibly the oldest extant poem about domestic violence written by a woman: I’w gŵr am ei churo (To the husband who beats her)

Dager drwy goler dy galon - ar osgo I asgwrn dy ddwyfron; Dy lin a dyr, dy law’n don, A’th gleddau i’th goluddion.

There are a lot of translations for this one to try to keep its poeticness, but this one is pretty good:

Through your heart’s lining let there be pressed, slanting down, A dagger to the bone in your chest. Your knee smashed, your hand crushed, may the rest Be gutted by the sword you possessed.

She has others, too, that deal with sexual assault, and something scholars often note about Gwerful is her remarkable knowledge of the law as it pertained to women's issues. So she was not, you see, a woman with a high view of a man accused of domestic violence anyway.

But then Ieuan Dyfi wrote five poems about Anni Goch, the married woman he'd fucked, each more "Wow dude, she said no" than the last, culminating in I Anni Goch; a full cywydd of misogynistic Medieval-incel bullshit about how false and evil women are, which listed all the false and evil women of history including classical and mythological figures.

And. Well. Gwerful had some views.

Her responding cywydd - I ateb Ieuan Dyfi am gywydd Anni Goch - basically blasted the guy back into his own impact crater and disintegrated him. What she did with it, essentially, was to mirror his cywydd. Where he'd gone "Isn't it so true how great men throughout history have always been brought low by women, amirite lads? Here's examples", Gwerful went "Isn't it so true how 'great men' throughout history have behaved appallingly and fucked up through their own actions and then somehow managed to blame women, amirite lads? Here's examples." Where his examples had been historical figures, so were hers. Where his had been classical, so were hers. Where he went Biblical, so did she.

And what's so interesting about that last one is how pointed she was with it - for some reason, in his big list of evil women, Ieuan Dyfi did not go for the most obvious and low-hanging of fruit (no pun intended) - he doesn't cite Eve. In response, Gwerful also sidesteps the most obvious and low hanging of fruit - she doesn't cite Mary. In so doing, she makes it clear that she doesn't even need to.

There is no record of him responding to her. IIRC, there is a record of him doing three years in prison.

But! Outside of all of that, the big thing Gwerful was known for was her erotic poetry. You'll be unsurprised to hear that it wasn't written for shits and giggles - much like today, women of the time were told that most of their value was in their looks, and they had plentiful insecurities about their bodies. Gwerful wrote her erotic stuff to confront those insecurities and shine a light on the issue. There are so many examples of this, but far and away the most famous is definitely Cywydd y Cedor - roughly translated, 'Ode to the Vulva'. Though I have also seen it titled Cywydd y Gont - Ode to the Cunt. It's such a shame that the English language is literally, physically not capable of cynghanedd, because it means unless you learn Welsh you will never understand the beauty and the lyricism of the piece, and how it elevates and undercuts the content at the same time; but it's a joyful, masterful, irreverent work that uses the fancy language male poets were forever dedicating to the rest of a woman's body and applies it squarely to the vulva. In fact it basically opens with "Men are cowards, describe more cunts or gtfo" before launching into its main subject matter. The last line is pro-pubic hair, too, like I really must stress how much Gwerful Mechain would have to offer Tumblr if you could speak Welsh. This is probably her most widely translated piece, though, you can definitely find English versions. Although you can tell how blushing and reticent the translator is - and therefore how sanitised their translation is - by whether they've called it Ode to the Vulva/Cunt, or Ode to the Pubic Hair.

Needless to say, the original is not sanitised.

(Actually, I should also say - this one is also a response piece, probably, but in this case to a bard who lived a century earlier - Dafydd ap Gwilym, the absolutely legendary and uncontested king of Welsh romance poetry. He wrote a poem called Cywydd y Gal - Ode to the Penis. I have only just put two and two together on that.)

As a final note, I should say that my personal favourite Gwerful Mechain poem on this subject, mind, is actually I'w morwyn wrth gachu - to the maiden who is shitting. It's an englyn written in Gwerful's customary high poetic form, but it is what it says - it describes a woman taking a shit, and farting as she does. Beautiful and magical and disgusting and banal, all in one go:

Crwciodd lle dihangodd ei dŵr - ’n grychiast O grochan ei llawdwr; Ei deudwll oedd yn dadwr’, Baw a ddaeth, a bwa o ddŵr

Funnily enough, it's hard to find a good translation for this one lol.

My attempt:

She crouched where her water escaped - creased From the cauldron of her heat; Her two holes were arguing, Shit came, and a bow of water

Eh. It's so bland in English. Honestly, if you could read Welsh...

Anyway, if anyone reading this can read Welsh and wants to read some of Gwerful Mechain's stuff - including some of the pieces she was responding to in the ymrysonau - you can find a load here. Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed!

Valentino Rossi & Casey Stoner - with words from Agassi & Sampras

Agassi/Sampras quotes taken from: A Champion's Mind: Lessons from a Life in Tennis (2009); Open: An Autobiography (2009); 'I Really Hated Tennis' (2009); Agassi and Sampras Meet a Year After Flare-Up (2011); Andre Agassi Reflects on His Career | 2024 US Open (2024) - if you want more context for these quotes, see here

Devil of a ride for Stoner (2007); Rossi: Stoner rode like a god! | MotoGP (2007); Stoner and Rossi post-Laguna Seca (2008); 2008 MotoGP Laguna Seca Race Report - Crunch Time (2008); 2008 Brno MotoGP Preview - Let Battle Commence (2008); Crasher Casey strikes again (2008); Statement By Valentino Rossi After The Motegi Race (2008); Ring of Fire (2009); Valentino si allunga la carriera: «Io, l’ultimo dei piloti romantici» (2009); Stoner impenna: «La correttezza? Non fa per voi europei» (2009); Valentino Rossi's interview with Italian GQ (2010); Casey Stoner on Rossi-Lorenzo Motegi clash (2010); 2011 Jerez MotoGP Race Day Round Up: The Feeding Frenzy (2011); MotoGP, Stoner: “Lorenzo ha più talento di Rossi” (2012); Rossi on the slide? Legend facing a season without a win (2011); Rossi admits that he misses Stoner (2013); Casey Stoner: Pushing the Limits (2013); Inside the mind of Casey Stoner (2014); MotoGP, Livio Suppo: "Stoner in Honda would have suffered Marquez's Personality" (2020); MotoGP Revisited: Rossi and Stoner’s US Grand Prix flashpoint (2020); Casey Stoner tweet (2021); MotoGP, Stoner: "I loved 2-strokes. I retired because riding had become too easy (2021); Tales of Valentino (2021); Farewell to Valentino Rossi, the man who transformed motorbike racing (2021); MotoGP, Valentino Rossi e Casey Stoner: storico incrocio a Portimao (2021); Stoner “has missed” Rossi racing at the front in MotoGP (2021); Rossi visto dai rivali - Stoner: "A Laguna Seca mostrò il suo vero volto" (2021); Valentino Rossi: All His Races (2022); MotoGP legend Casey Stoner talks early retirement, real feelings towards Valentino Rossi & Anxiety (2022); “Stoner had more ‘exceptional talent’ than Rossi, but anxiety ate him alive…” (2023); Stoner on fellow riders (2024); Ep. 11 L'ICONA DEL MOTOCICLISMO con Valentino Rossi (SECONDA PARTE) (2024); Barcelona 2024 - The Misadventures of Party Peter and Mischievous Mat (2024); A day at the MotoRanch with Casey Stoner (2024); Casey Stoner: "Io e Valentino Rossi eravamo nemici, ora abbiamo superato il passato" (2024)

Pictured: Suzy Dietrich, part of one of two all-female teams during the 1966 edition of the race

Always There, Women in Motorsport: Women at the 24 Hours of Daytona

Women's history in motorsport is rich, and that has always been the case. This year we will have seven women competing in the race, but back in 1966, when it was run as a 24 Hour race for the first time, we already had five women competing in the race.

The 24 Hours of Daytona was first run in 1966 but its history goes back to 1962 when it was first run as a 3 Hours race counting towards the FIA’s International Championship for GT Manufacturers (Later known as the World Sportscar Championship). 1963 would also see a 3H race. In 1964 and 65 a 2000 Km race would be held, which was about half the length of the 24H of Le Mans at that time. In 1966 the race turned into a 24 Hour race and has ran as such since with two exceptions*

*In 1972 the race was shortened to a 6 Hour race as the FIA feared the reliability of the 3.0 liter cars and in 1974 the race was not run due to the energy crisis.

In 1966 the 24 Hours of Le Mans had already run over 30 editions and with success for women at that. In 1930 Marguerite Mareuse and Odette Siko would become the first women to compete in the race, finishing 2nd in class and in 1932 Siko would even go on to win her class. The 1930s would prove to be successful for women as in 1935 a record of 10 women would compete at Le Mans. In 1957 women were prohibited from competing at Le Mans and this ban would only be lifted in 1971.

During the period of this ban, the first 24 Hours of Daytona would be run which saw two all female teams compete. Rosemary Smith and Sierra ‘Smokey’ Drolet finished 30th overall and sixth in their class in a Sunbeam Alpine. While Janet Guthrie, Donna Mae Mims and Suzy Dietrich finished 32nd overall and won their class in a Sunbeam Alpine.

Clipping from The Boston Globe · Sunday, February 13, 1966 Mentioning these performances

Sunbeam Alpine Driven by Donna Mae Mims, Janet Guthrie, and Suzy Dietrich at the Daytona 24 Hour Continental Race, February 1966 (Source: thehenryford.org)

Donna Mae Mims, also known as the "Pink Lady" was the first woman to win a Sports Car Club of America national championship. Also one of the first women to compete in the 24H of Daytona (Source: Sports Car Club of America Archive)

Women would continue to compete at the race with another all-female team competing in 1967 consisting of Janet Guthrie, Sierra ‘Smokey’ Drolet and Anita Taylor driving a Ford Mustang. They finished fifth in class and 20th overall. Smokey would go on to win her class in 1969 driving a Corvette with John Tremblay, Vince Gimondo and John Belperche finishing sixteenth overall. That same year she would finish the 12 Hours of Sebring second in class together with Rosemary Smith. In 1970 Smokey would finish 25th overall while Donna Mae Mims competed but failed to finish

February 5, 1967: Sierra “Smokey” Drolet awaits her turn behind the wheel of the Ring Free-sponsored Ford Mustang she co-drove with Anita Taylor and Janet Guthrie during the 24 Hours of Daytona. (Photo by ISC Images & Archives via Getty Images)

In 1977 another female team took the start Christine Beckers and Lella Lombardi would share an Inaltéra GTP but unfortunately they did not make it to the finish. In 1980 Kathy Rude would drive in the 24 Hours of Daytona for the first time, finishing eight in the GTO Class together with her teammates. That same year Anne-Charlotte Verney would finish 9th overall and fifth in the GTX class while Lyn St. James finished 17th overall and Christine Beckers would finish 47th overall.

In 1981 Rude would finish seventh overall and third in the GTU class with her teammates Lee Mueller and Philippe Martin in a Mazda RX-7, Gaile Engle (36th overall) and Vicki Smith (56th overall) would also compete. The following year she would team up again with Lee Mueller, and she achieved a class win and sixth place overall with Allan Moffat as third driver. Vicki Smith also returned with a 25th place overall and Desiré Wilson would finish 45th overall.

In 1983 Rude would return to the race, now with an all-female team. Rude, Deborah Gregg, and Bonnie Henn would finish thirteenth overall and sixth in class in their Porsche 924. Smith and St. James also competed finishing 35th and 44th overall respectively. Kathy Rude would unfortunately suffer a huge crash at Brainerd that same year which left her in a coma for several weeks. She recovered but it meant she never got the chance to compete in IndyCar where she had arranged a seat for the 1984 season. The following years also saw women compete but without much success. 

Kathy Rude, Bonnie Henn, Deborah Gregg Photo: Robert Fischer

In 1987 Lyn St. James finished 7th overall and first in the GTO Class, together with her teammates Tom Gloy, Bill Elliott, and Scott Pruett. Deborah Greg would finish 9th overall and 3rd in the GTO class while Linda Ludemann finished 16th overall.

Drivers Bill Elliott, Lyn St. James and Tom Gloy in victory lane following the SunBank 24 at Daytona International Speedway. (Photo by ISC Images & Archives via Getty Images)

Ludemann and James would continue to compete in the race in the coming years but it wasn’t until 1990 that there was success again. James would finish fifth overall and win the GTO class together with her teammates Robby Gordon and Calvin Fish in a Mercury Cougar. Ludemann would finish 17th overall.

Tomiko Yoshiwaka and Desiré Wilson would finish 47th overall in 1993. 1994 would see the return of an all-female team when Linda Pobst, Kat Teasdale, Margy Eatwell, Tami Rai Busby, and Leigh O’Brien finished 47th overall. That same year Lilian Bryner (15th overall), Kat Teasdale (17th overall) and Tammy Jo Kirk (34th overall) would also compete.

Tomiko Yoshikawa at Daytona in 1993

1995 saw another female class win when Lilian Bryer finished fifth overall with her teammates Enzo Calderari, Renato Mastropietro & Ulli Richter. They won the GTS-2 Class in their Porsche 911. The following year that same line-up would win their class again while they finished fourth overall. A little under 10 years later, in 2004, Lilian Bryner made history when she won the 24H of Spa overall.

In 1997 Claudia Hürtgen would finish 4th overall and first in the GTS-2 class with her teammates Ralf Kelleners, Patrice Goueslard, and André Ahrlé in their Porsche 911 GT2. This is the last female class win to date. Throughout the late 90s into the early 2000s women continued to compete in the race. The biggest success came for Milka Duno when she finished 2nd overall in 2007 with a Riley mK XI together with Dario Franchitti, Marino Franchitti, and Kevin McGarrity. This remains the highest overall finish of a female driver to date.

In 2019 an all-female entry returned when Simona de Silvestro, Katherine Legge, Bia Figueiredo, and Christina Nielsen finished 32nd overall and 12th in the GTD class in an Acura NSX GT3. The following year Tatiana Calderon, Rahel Frey, Legge and Nielsen competed in a Lamborghini Huracan but failed to finish. 

Simona de Silvestro, Katherine Legge, Christina Nielsen, and Bia Figueiredo in 2019

From 2013 up until the race this year, at least a single woman has competed. With a record of entries coming in 2024 when nine women competed. This year 7 women will compete in the race with Karen Gaillard making her debut in the race.

new casey podcast have you seen it

https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=ye8wNfrvaPDjtpDV&v=IuwZN6aP8sg&feature=youtu.be

(link to the podcast) yeah I did, cheers!

there's not that much 'new information' per se within this podcast, though there's a bunch of nice tidbits about teenage casey. what stood out to me is how the framing of his journey to becoming a racer is... well, it's kinda new? it's not exactly surprising, because you could get a lot of this stuff from reading between the lines in his autobiography. the question of 'is this your dream or your parents' dream' is a very common one with athletes, and it's often a thin line... but, y'know, this podcast interview in particular is quite a noticeable shift in how casey himself talks about this issue. it's a shift in how he portrays his 'dream' of becoming a professional rider back when he was formulating his autobiography, versus how he's answering questions in this episode. his autobiography isn't free from criticism of his parents - but casey is always stressing his own desire to race. so you do get stuff like this (from the autobiography):

At this point things were getting serious. Dad used to say, 'If you want to become World Champion you can't be that much better than local competition,' holding his finger and thumb an inch apart. 'You have to be this much better,' he'd say, holding his arms wide open. Dad confirms this feeling still today: 'I know it's a harsh way to look at things but that's the difference between a champion and the rest. Just look at the careers of Dani Pedrosa and Jorge Lorenzo. Dani had Alberto Puig and Jorge had his old man, both of them hard as nails. If you want to make it to the top I think it takes somebody with an unforgiving view on life to help get you there. So I said those things to Casey, particularly when we went to the UK, because to keep moving up a level he couldn't just be happy with winning a race. If he wasn't winning by a margin that represented his maximum performance then he wasn't showing people how much better he was than the rest.' There's no denying that Dani, Jorge and I became successful with that kind of upbringing and sometimes you probably do need it. As far as I'm concerned Alberto was nowhere near as tough on Dani as my dad was on me or Jorge's dad was on him. That kind of intensity and expectation puts a lot of extra pressure on a father-son relationship that isn't always healthy. We definitely had our moments and there were a few major blow-ups to come. But at the time, rightly or wrongly, it was proving to be a good system for us and I was eager to continue impressing my dad and others with my performances on the track.

(quick reminder, jorge's review of his father's style of parenting was describing him as "a kind of hitler")

but in general the emphasis is very much on how much casey enjoyed racing, on how single-minded casey was when it came to racing. he might have been isolated by his racing (again this is from the autobiography, in the context of discussing being bullied by kids in school until he got 'protection' from his dirt track friends):

School life was a whole lot better after that but I still hated it. All my real friends were from dirt-track; they were the only people I had anything in common with.

and he's talked about how other parents misinterpreted his shyness as him not actually wanting to race, which meant they were judging casey's parents as a result (autobiography):

Mum tells me that the other parents thought she and Dad were awful because I cried as I lined up on the start line. She remembers: 'I was putting his gloves on his hands and pushing his helmet over his head. The thing was, I knew Casey wasn't crying because he didn't want to ride or because he was scared. He just didn't like the attention of being stared at by all these people!'

but like. overall racing for him was still something he portrayed as a very positive aspect of his childhood. something he always clung onto, something that was his choice to pursue

so... let's play compare and contrast with some specific passages of the autobiography and this podcast, you decide for yourself. take this from his autobiography:

After I started winning more times than not, and it was obvious my passion for bikes wasn't wavering, Mum and Dad decided that seeking out sponsors could be a great idea to help offset some of the costs of travelling to meets and keeping the bikes in good order.

and here, in a longer excerpt about what a sickly child casey was, what his mother said (autobiography):

'They tested him for cystic fibrosis and he was on all kinds of medication; you name it, he was on it. But Casey still raced, we couldn't stop him.' I know I was sick but Mum was right, I wasn't going to let that stop me.

versus this from the podcast, when he's responding to a completely open question about how he got into riding:

To be honest, I don't know if I was allowed to have any other attraction to be honest. I think it was, you know, you're going to be a bike rider from when I was a very very young age - and I'm not the only one to think that. I think my parents have stated that enough times to certain people and you know I was sort of pushed in that direction. My elder sister who's six and a half years older than me, she actually raced a little bit of dirt bikes and dirt track before I was born and when I was very young, so it was sort of a natural progression to go and do a little bit more of that and I think because at the time road racing was a lot more similar to dirt track. That was our sort of way in.

this was one of the very first questions in the interview, it basically just consisted of asking casey how he got into biking in the first place - whether it had come through his family or whatever. casey chose to take the response in that direction... it's not an answer that is just about his own internal passion, how he loved riding the second he touched a bike, how he loved it throughout his childhood etc etc (which is how it's framed in the autobiography) - but instead he says he wasn't allowed to do anything else. he says that he was pushed in that direction, that his parents have openly said as much to others. that he feels vindicated in the belief he was never given another choice

let's play another round. here from the autobiography:

Mum and Dad used to stand at the side for hours on end watching me practise at different tracks. They'd sometimes clock laps with a stopwatch as I went round and round. Other parents couldn't see the point in taking it so seriously but they didn't realise it was what I wanted. I was having fun. Working out how to go faster was how I got my kicks and I couldn't stop until I had taken a tenth or two of a second off my best time on any day. If another kid came out onto the track with me I would be all over them, practising passing them in different ways and in different corners, but most of the time they avoided riding with me and I would be out there on my own, racing the clock.

and this (autobiography):

I enjoyed racing so much that even when I was at home riding on my own I would set up different track configurations to challenge myself. I'd find myself a rock here, a tree there, a gatepost over there and maybe move a branch and that would be my track.

versus here, in the podcast:

Q: And did you realise at the time that you were - not groomed, is not the word but well you were being groomed to be a professional motorcycle racer, or obviously that was your only one reference point, that was the norm. Did that just feel the norm or did you think actually this feels a bit intense or how did you feel about it? A: I think it's hard, it's not until I sort of reached my mid teens where I started to have a bit of a reality check on what I was actually doing. Before then, you know I was competitive. I'm not as competitive as people think, I'm a lot more competitive internally rather than externally versus other people. I always challenge myself to things, so all those younger years was just getting the job done that I was expected to do. I enjoyed winning, I loved it, but you know I enjoyed perfect laps, perfect races, as close as I could get to that and you know from a young age I always sort of challenged myself constantly to be better. So I didn't just win races, I tried to win them - you know, if I won races by five seconds in a [...] race I'd try and win, you know I'd try and get to double that by the end of the day if I could. So you know that always kept me sharp and it stopped me from being sort of, you know, complacent in the position I was at. And it wasn't until sort of you know 16, 17, 18 that reality kicked in. I'd had a couple years road racing in the UK and Spain, been rather successful and then you get to world championships and you know maybe an engineer that was sort of - didn't have your best interests at hear. And, you know, I nearly finished my career right there after my first year of world championships just because of the reality of how hard it was in comparison to everything else I'd experienced up to that point. And, you know, it was a real reality check for me and I think it was then that I started to - you know consider everything around me and consider how and why I got to the position that I was in and that's when the mind started to change a little bit and realise that you know I really was being groomed my whole life just to sort of be here and be put on a track and try and win. And, you know, that was my seemingly most of my existence.

in all the excerpts, he stresses how much he enjoys his perfect laps, how much he enjoys riding, how there is genuine passion there, how dedicated he is to this pursuit... but then in the podcast, he's adding something else - how he'd been groomed his whole life into that role of 'professional bike racer'. that it was only in his late teens (when he was in 125cc/250cc) where he had this moment of 'man I never really had a choice in all this'

and another round. here's him talking in the autobiography about how all the money he got through racing went back into racing - but it was fine because it was the only thing he cared about anyway:

I don't remember seeing any of the money I earned because it all went back into my racing, although I guess at the time that's all I really cared about anyway. I didn't know anything else. Mum and Dad always said to me: 'If you put in the effort, we'll put in the effort.'

and here in the autobiography on how he just wanted to ride all day:

I couldn't ride my bike all day, though, as much as I would have liked to.

and him talking in the autobiography about his parents encouraging him and his sister to 'chase their dreams':

Mum and Dad encouraged both Kelly and me to follow our passions and work hard to chase our dreams. That might sound strange when you are talking about a seven-year-old but I don't think you are never too young to know that if you want something you have to earn it.

versus this in the podcast:

Q: And I've never asked you this before, but did you want to? A: Um... I think I'd been convinced of a dream I suppose. You know, yes I loved riding bikes and you know I really did enjoy racing... but there was lots of other things that I - I really enjoyed as well but just never had the opportunity or never was allowed to do anything else, so... You know, motorbikes for our budget everything fortunately dirt track was probably the cheapest way that you could go motorbike racing. You could survive on very very little in dirt track and show your potential in other ways. You know, yes, having good bikes and good tyres and all that sort of thing made a difference but it wasn't the be all end all, you could always make a difference in other ways, so... I think it was, you know - the best thing we could have done, racing through that. Like I said I enjoyed it, it wasn't until late teens, early 20s where I sort of was like, I don't know if I would have been a bike racer had I actually had a choice.

was riding really all he cared about? or were there other things he was interested in, things he just never had the opportunity to pursue? things he wasn't allowed to pursue? from the autobiography, you get the sense that his parents always deliberately portrayed it as casey's dream, something he was expected to work hard for in order to be allowed to fulfil. in the podcast, casey says it was a dream he was 'convinced' of. without wanting to speak too much on the specifics of this parenting relationship we only have limited knowledge of, this kinda does all sound like athlete parent 101: getting it into their kids' heads that this is the dream of the child, not the parent, before holding it over them when they fail to perform when their parents have invested so so much in their child's success. casey's family was financially completely dependent on his racing results when they moved to the uk - he was fourteen at the time. he was painfully conscious of his parents' 'sacrifice' to make 'his dream' possible. can you imagine what kind of pressure that must be for a teenager?

to be clear, this isn't supposed to be a gotcha, I'm not trying to uncover contradictions between what casey said back then and what he's saying now. obviously, this is all very... thorny, complicated stuff, and casey has had to figure out for himself how he feels about it, how he feels about how his parents approached his upbringing. but it is worth pointing out that this isn't necessarily just a question of his feelings changing over time - if the internal timeline he provides in the podcast is correct, he was really having that realisation in his late teens, early 20s, so on the verge of joining the premier class. that is when he says he had the thought "I don't know if I would have been a bike racer had I actually had a choice"... which is a pretty major admission, you have to say, especially given how rough those premier class years often ended up being on him. but then that realisation would have already come years and years before he wrote his autobiography, it would've been something he carried with him for most of his career. given that, you do look at his autobiography and think that he did make the decision to frame things pretty differently back then, that he decided to exclude certain things from his narrative. if this really is already something that's been festering within him for years, if he does feel like he wants to be a bit more open about all of that now than back then... well, hopefully it shows he's been able to work through all of it a bit more in the intervening years

(this is somehow an even thornier topic than his relationship with parents, but relatedly there is a bit of a discrepancy between how bullish he is in his autobiography about how mentally unaffected he was by his results, versus how he's since opened up since then about his anxiety. again, I want to stress, this is not a gotcha, he's under no obligation to share this stuff with the world - especially given the amount of discourse during his career about his supposed 'mental weakness'. it is still important in understanding him, though, how he consciously decided to tell his own story in the autobiography and how he's somewhat changed his approach in the subsequent years)

this is the rest of his answer to that podcast question I relayed above:

But at the same time you know I felt that no matter what I would have done, I sort of have a - my mentality of self-punishment, you know, of never being good enough that always drove me to try and be better and any single thing that I did, I didn't like it when I wasn't not perfect. I don't believe in the word perfect but I really didn't enjoy when I wasn't, you know, in my own terms considered a good enough level at anything I did so I would always sort of try to get up as high as I could regardless of what for.

at which point hodgson says exactly what I was thinking and goes 'god what a line' about the "mentality of self-punishment" thing. it is one hell of a line!

what's really interesting about this podcast is how these two big themes of 'this wasn't my choice' and 'self-punishment' end up kinda being linked together when casey talks about how the motogp world reacted to him... so again I'm gonna quickly toss in a bit from the autobiography (where he's talking about casual motorcycling events he went to as a kid), because it does read similarly in how for him the joy and competitive aspects of riding are closely linked:

It was a competition but it wasn't highly competitive; it was just for fun, really. Of course, I didn't see it that way, though, and I had dirt and stones flying everywhere. I don't think anyone expected the park to be shredded like it was. When I was on my bike, if I wasn't competing to my maximum level then I wasn't having as much fun.

and back to the podcast:

And also because people truly didn't understand me, that I'm not there just to enjoy the racing. As we're explaining, before that, you know it was sort of a road paved for me... And so the results were all important, not the enjoyment of it. And then you cop the flak for everything you do. I'm also very self-punishing, so it was kind of a - just a lose lose lose and it was all very very heavy on myself, so... It, you know, it took me till my later years to realise I could take the pressure off myself a little bit and go look you've done all the work you've done everything you can, you got to be proud of what you've done, so... Not necessarily go out there and enjoy it, because I don't believe you should just be going out in a sport where you're paid as much as we are expect to get results and just - you know - oh I'm just going to go and have fun it's like... yeah, nah, if you're just going to go and have fun then you're not putting in the work. And that's when we see inconsistencies etc. So I was very very harsh on myself and so even when I won races, if I made mistakes or I wasn't happy with the way I rode, well then yeah I'm happy I won but there's work to do. There was more to get out of myself and so that's where I copped a lot of bad... um, let's say bad press because of those kind of things and then they sort of attack you even more because they didn't like the fact that you didn't celebrate these wins like they wanted you to they expect you to I suppose treat every victory like almost a championship and you know it's not that I expected these wins but I expected more of myself and therefore maybe I didn't celebrate them as much as you know other people do.

kind of brings together a lot of different things, doesn't it? this whole profession was a path that was chosen for him... which he links here to how the results were 'all important' for him, how it just couldn't ever be about enjoyment. he always punished himself for his mistakes, he was under constant pressure, which also affected how he communicated with the outside world... he was so committed to self-flagellation that he made it tough for himself to actually celebrate his victories, which in turn wasn't appreciated by the fans or the press. so on the one hand, casey's obviously still not particularly thrilled about how much of a hard time he was given over his particular approach to being a rider. but on the other hand, he's also describing how all of this can be traced back to how becoming a rider was never actually his 'choice'. he's detailed his perfectionism before, including in his autobiography, including in discussing his anxiety disorder more recently - but this is explicitly establishing that link between the pressure he'd felt during his childhood to how he'd been pushed into this direction to how he then had to perform. he couldn't afford to be anything less than perfect, so he wasn't, and at times he made his own life even tougher as a result of his own exacting standards. this just wasn't stuff he's said in such straightforward, explicit terms before... and now he is

my general thing with casey is that his reputation as a straight shooter or whatever means people aren't really paying enough attention to how he's telling his own story. like, I kinda feel the perception is 'oh he used to be more closed off because the media ragged on him but since retirement he's been able to tell it like it really is' or whatever. and I'm not saying that's necessarily wrong, but it's not quite as simple as that. because he's not a natural at dealing with the media, he's put a fair bit of thought into how to communicate better with them (which he does also say in the podcast), and he's explicitly acknowledged this is something he looked to valentino for in order to learn how to better handle. because casey has felt misunderstood for quite a long time, he's quite invested in selling his story in certain ways - and it's interesting how what he's chosen to reveal or emphasise or conceal or downplay has changed over time. which means there will be plenty of slight discrepancies that pop up over time that will be as revealing as anything he explicitly says... and it tells you something, what his own idea of what 'his story' is at any given time. this podcast isn't just interesting as a sort of, y'know, one to one, 'this is casey telling the truth' or whatever - it's reflecting where his mind is at currently, what he wants to share and in what way, and how that compares to his past outlook. the framing of his childhood was really something that popped out about this particular interview... it's not like it's exactly surprising that this is how he feels, but more that he decided to say all of this so openly. some pretty heavy stuff in there! hope the years really have helped him... man, I don't know. figure it all out, for himself. something like that

HEYY I was thinking if you do commissions still? I was thinking if you can do an angst edit with Lawhan, with “Emails I can’t send.” By Sabrina Carpenter in the background?

If not than that’s on still love you tho 🩷🫂

pspspspsspspsppspss

what the fuckkkkkkkk

im going to hurl myself into the void

Leon Anawak is SO autistic. im not even joking anymore. this man is stimming on camera he has trouble w social interactions he can’t maintain eye contact for the love of god (except for some scenes but ig it was necessary for some reason) his special interest is whales which he doesn’t hesitate to compare to humans while rambling about them to someone he barely knows ("they won’t hesitate to go look for an individual whose sound they only heard once from hundreds of miles away!!!!" WE SEE YOU LEON)

also like. he’s very blunt and has a strong sense of justice etc etc this man is SOOOO autistic and you can just see it in social gatherings my man stands out!!!! he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s supposed to be doing!!!! you can just see the autistic panic in his eyes!!!! im in love with him