when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn't need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn't like his tone. used to send him "SHUT UP Jacques" periodically. and he'd answer every single one of my asks like "who is this?? show your face or I'll fucking kill you" and I'd be like "now now, that doesn't make sense, jacques" all haughty and he'd get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn't a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn't even respond to the rant until I came back. I could've chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like "psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn't take their own values seriously." and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn't know how to, or if he didn't want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I'd conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like "remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you'd been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn't funny because he probably had problems, and you were like 'oh.' and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?" Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you're out there I'm sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it's any consolation I know every day of my life that I'm probably going to hell for the sick things I have done
I was a dick to my partner during covid isolation, and I was procrastinating on writing an apology, so – as one does – I eventually, half-seriously, googled apology templates.
And I found this amazing website. It did not bring me AT ALL closer to writing my partner an apology, but it brought me immeasurable joy. I made choked animal howling noises for much of my perusing time.
Sometimes they’re kind of normal (this one is a message saying “I can’t attend your org’s event because I disagree with their politics”) but the title is phrased hilariously.
Others are, in fact, hilarious.
Most are sincere, but not all:
“Zoom Incident”
And my favorite:
“I AM NOT SURE WHY I ASSUMED THAT HE WOULD NOT BE INDOORS WHEN I DROPPED BY ON MONDAY”
Can we go ahead and stop teaching corvids how to use tools, it's getting spooky
the fact that op turned off rbs is very very funny to me. anyway i want this post on my blog too.
we should abandon the current US government system and replace it with the ranking system in warrior cats don’t @ me
In 1982, quite by accident, a zookeeper at Izu Shaboten Zoo in Shizuoka Prefecture discovered that capybaras absolutely loved soaking in hot water, and the practice of providing them an onsen, or traditional Japanese hot spring, was born. Source Massimo; video @yu_haradakei.
[ch- wait... guys???
why is hideki naganuma insane. who is teaching a middle aged japanese man to say shit like this
I've asked this question before and been surprised by the results, now I have access to more weirdos it's your problem:
It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You have nothing on, and aren't expecting visitors, deliveries or post.
Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door.
i think all quiet on the western front and the lord of the rings are in direct conversation with each other, as in theyre the retelling of the same war with one saying here’s what happened, we all died, and it did not matter at all and another going hush little boy, of course we won, of course your friends came back
Wildly autistic | 20yo | pfp made using @reelrollsweat 's little guy maker
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