Turn Based Sex. Take As Long As You Need To Think Of A Strategy.

I was a dick to my partner during covid isolation, and I was procrastinating on writing an apology, so – as one does – I eventually, half-seriously, googled apology templates.

And I found this amazing website. It did not bring me AT ALL closer to writing my partner an apology, but it brought me immeasurable joy. I made choked animal howling noises for much of my perusing time.

Sometimes they’re kind of normal (this one is a message saying “I can’t attend your org’s event because I disagree with their politics”) but the title is phrased hilariously.

Others are, in fact, hilarious.

Most are sincere, but not all:

“Zoom Incident”

And my favorite:

“I AM NOT SURE WHY I ASSUMED THAT HE WOULD NOT BE INDOORS WHEN I DROPPED BY ON MONDAY”

fascinated by this screenshot where they took out the poster's username and replaced it with a very small picture of alex the lion

fuck this time loop im leaving (walks into a different, worse time loop)

THEFT

narcissus at the pond

OMG LOOK AT IT

thought this was neat

woman walking a husky and a maltese and her arms are splayed out like christ on the cross cause of their opposite temperaments. husky pointed like an arrow down the path and the maltese smelling the concrete with great slow consideration. she is grimacing. this is a new tarot card to me, but just another day on earth

Quick! Someone make a haiku!

Jumping spider, Phiale guttata, Salticidae

Found from Mexico down through Brazil

Photos 1-2 by jorgearrestre4, 3-5 by benoit_segerer, 6-7 by mason_s, 8 by b_louboutin, and 9-10 (for scale) by isaof