That's Pretty Much It

I thought it prudent to say that I'm seeing Tammy Faye in it's preview stage in New York on Saturday (next Saturday) and I WILL learn what the beef is (if that hasn't been solved yet) 👁️👁️

---

DEH Incorrect Quotes Pt. 8 I Think??

-

Jared: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

Evan:

-

Jared: I feel like doing something stupid.

Evan: I'm stupid.

Jared: ...?

Evan: Do me?

Jared: oH-

-

Miguel: As the top of this relationship, I think we should-

Connor: I can't believe your pulling rank on me.

-

Evan: I still have no idea how I'm attracted to you...

Jared: Too bad. You're stuck with me now, honey.

-

Evan: My life is a mess.

Jared: Relax. Go get a beer.

Evan: I don't want a beer?

Jared: Who said it was for you?

-

Evan: We vegetarians love the environment. Carnivores are sick freaks.

Connor: How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants.

-

Jared: I'm bored, any suggestions?

Alana, trying to get him to have a decent sleep schedule: Sleeping is nice.

Jared: I acknowledge your suggestion, and I’m deciding to ignore it.

-

Connor: When life gives you lemons, what do you do?

Alana: Make lemonade! :)

Connor: No! You throw the lemons back up into the sky and make life deal with it's own shit!

-

Evan: That's illegal, right?

Jared: Why do you care, are you fucking a cop or something?

Evan: No-

Jared: Then shut the fuck up.

-

7 year old Zoe: I lost my fish, can you help me find it?

9 year old Connor, cooking the fish: What? Speak up, I can't hear you.

-

Alana: Just be yourself, say something nice!

Jared: Which one? I can't do both.

-

Zoe: Are you drinking enough water?

Evan: Sometimes my tears get in my mouth.

-

Evan: I wanna die.

Jared: We all do, you're not special.

-

Evan: Pick a card, any card.

Connor: Fine.

Evan: Wait, that's my credit card-

Connor: You said any card.

-

Miguel: So, what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Connor: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?

Miguel: Uh yeah, I guess-

Connor: Then I'd sleep.

-

Evan: Where are you going??

Jared: Hell, eventually.

-

Zoe: Hey besties-

Jared: Die.

Zoe: What did I ever do to you-

-

Evan: Jared, I sense hostility.

Jared: Good, because I fucking hate you.

-

Miguel: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween!

Connor: That doesn't exist-

Miguel: Not with that attitude.

-

Miguel: I wanna be called cute 21/7.

Connor: Why not 24/7?

Miguel: Snack breaks.

-

Connor, annoyed af: Why can't trees give off something fucking useful... like wifi.

Jared:

Jared: So then just fuck oxygen I guess.

-

Alana: *Sharpens knife* We have ways of making people talk.

Alana: *Cuts piece of cake*

Evan: ....Can I have some?

Alana: Cake is for talkers.

-

Evan: What are you drinking?

Jared: Vodka.

Evan: Straight???

Jared: No, gay. Why?

-

Jared: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMBFUCK!

Evan: LET ME RUN AWAY FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!!

-

Connor: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.

Zoe: And I need you to be less vague and weird-

-

Alana, texting: Answer your phone

Jared, texting: Wait a minute, I can't find my phone.

Alana: Understood.

Alana, five minutes later: You're a terrible person. You know you're killing me. You're killing me, Jared.

-

Evan: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Evan: And I started thinking.

Evan: Like, it was just trying to get food.

Evan: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Alana: Are you ok?

-

Miguel: What is the one thing I told you not to do?

Connor: Burn the house down.

Miguel: And what did you do?!

Connor: I made dinner.

Miguel:

Connor:

Miguel:

Connor: Okay fine. And burnt the house down.

-

Evan: Hello, Jared. Made anyone cry today?

Jared: Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.

-

Alana: When's the last time you slept?!

Jared: Uh.. a few days ago, I think??

Alana: How many days?

Jared: *Starts counting on his fingers*

Jared: I need more fingers.

Alana: What yOU NEED IS S L E E P!

-

Zoe: HELP! I'M DROWNING!!

Connor: Calm down, we're only in six feet of water.

Zoe: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

-

Jared: What'cha doing?

Connor: Stealing my neighbours cat.

Jared: Scandalous.

Jared: Can I help?

-

Jared: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’

Evan: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

-

Connor: *makes Miguel a cup of tea but puts salt in it*

Miguel: *sips tea*

Connor:

Miguel: *finishes tea*

Connor: Didn't it taste bad?

Miguel: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Connor, tearing up: Oh, okay.

-

Alana: So I have made the decision to trust you.

Evan: A horrible decision, really.

-

Evan: Hopefully, Jared has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.

Jared: Oh shut up and die, Evan.

-

Connor: Alright, listen up you little shits-

Connor: Except you, Alana. You're an angel, and we're thrilled you're here.

-

Zoe: Can you pass the salt?

Jared: Can you pass away?

Zoe: Too much salt.

---

reblog to give Chip Zien a tony award

Random DEH Incorrect Quotes I Found While Poking Around (Pt. Four) :

-

Jared: You know what I've always wondered? How do tall people like you sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you from your shoulders to your toes?

Connor: It's fucking four a.m.

Jared: So you can't sleep?

Jared: ....Is it because of the blanket?

-

Alana: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of items you have lost throughout your life

Evan: Self-esteem! Haven't seen you in years!

Connor: Oh wow, childhood innocence! Can't believe you found this!

Zoe: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Jared: Moral code, is that you?

Alana:

Alana: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mom left me but do you guys need a hug?

-

Connor: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Evan: This knife is actually my magic wand.

Zoe: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a magic wizard duel.

Jared: *Cocks gun* Magic missile.

Alana: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

-

Alana: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Zoe: Have everyone stand.

Evan: Bring three more chairs!

Jared: The most important ones can sit down.

Connor: Kill three.

-

Good For You & Words Fail Be like:

Alana: Looking left because you don't treat me right.

Heidi: Looking right because you left.

Zoe: Looking up cause' you let me down.

Jared: Looking down cause' you fucked up.

Evan: What the fuck is wrong with you guys

---

guys I'll be better I swear (I will not)

---

”im gay!” “im straight!”

yeah, and now im late for dinner late again

MOST OF THEIR SONGS ARE LITERALLY BEGGING TO BE MADE INTO ANIMATICS, AND HONESTLY? I MIGHT GIVE INTO THAT

THERE IS A SHORTAGE OF KLEINSEN ANIMATICS SO

Nik that's a lot of The Front Bottoms are you okay

uhm

---

Random Incorrect DEH Quotes I Found While Poking Around (Pt. Three) :

-

Alana: Going to plan B, then?

Jared: Technically, this would be plan G.

Zoe: How many plans even are there?? Is there, like, a plan M???

Evan: Yeah, but Jared dies in plan M.

Connor: I like plan M.

-

Connor: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Zoe: "Rude."

Jared: "Not again."

Evan: "Are you going to want this back?"

-

Dr. Sherman: This assignment is fairly easy! Just write about your happiest moments!

Evan: My what now

-

And now

KLEINSEN

Jared: Hey there, Acorn.

Evan: Not this again. That joke is so old.

Jared: What? Are you NUTS? That joke will never get old!

Evan: It just did.

Jared: Aw, did I cashew in a bad mood?

Evan: I'm actually wishing death on someone other than myself for once. Oh, Wow.

-

Zoe: I don't understand why you get so upset when I go on dates with Evan.

Jared, a secret homosexual: Because he's my best friend! Ugh, you don't get it!

-

Evan: I like both boys and girls, and yet I'm still single.

Connor: I guess your just destined to be bi-yourself.

-

Connor: Rules were meant to be broken.

Alana: They were meant to be followed. Nothing is meant to be broken.

Zoe: Uh, piñatas?

Evan: Glow sticks.

Miguel: Karate boards?

Jared: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Connor: Rules.

-

Connor: I like my boys like I like my girls.

Zoe:

Alana:

Evan:

Jared:

Miguel:

Connor: That's it.

Connor: That's the joke.

Connor: I'm bi.

-

Heidi: You're grounded, no TV!

Evan: The TV is broken-

Heidi: Then, no computer!

Evan: But I need the computer for therapy notes-

Heidi, looking around the room for something she can take away: Then, uh, no Jared!

Evan: No Jared??!

Heidi: No Jared!!

---

AAA; thank YOU! 

Take your time tho, drink lots of water and don’t stay up like i did the other night because now i have eye bags <3

*Slams head on keyboard*

IT'S 2 A.M. BUT GOSHDANGIT I HAVE SO MANY DEH THINGS FLOATING AROUND MY BRAIN FOR YOUR CHALLENGE!!

Songs:

For Evan: Dead-Bird by McCafferty; Dead Weight by Jack Stauber; Maybe a bit of the ENA Remix (Allergic to People Meme); Michelle by Sir Chloe; The Anxiety Song By Human Petting Zoo

For Jared: Taking My Uzi To The Gym By The Front Bottoms; i just learned the f word By SARIAH sort of has the Jared vibe to it; Loser by Mccafferty

[I recommend listening to these if ya haven't when you get the time ^^]

Vague Plotlines (lol):

Michael tries to get a patch for Jeremy to put on his jacket for when Jeremy himself wears it but can't find one that fits perfectly and has to ask him about it.

Jared's parents are never home- too busy with their jobs (as real estate agents that travel a lot) to come home and visit him for his birthday but even after the fight Evan leaves him a present by his door.

Brooke gets really sad over the fact that she can't eat froyo so Chloe goes out and buys her every fucking flavour of ice cream that she can find that is dairy-free because fuck lactose intolerance, we can still have a nice movie night.

Connor starts randomly cutting himself while he's high in front of Jared and to stop him all Jared can do in his also extremely drugged up state of brain is kiss him

Dialogue Prompts:

"I've moved on, and you should too." ~ Kleinsen

"Move over, this bathtubs only got so much room in it." ~ Boyf riends

"Tell me everything." ~ Conguel (Connor x Miguel)

"Nice ass, tall-ass!" ~ Spicy Bis

"Your not the loser, the geek, or whatever." ~ Deere

"I'm watching you. You better not fall out of any more fucking trees." ~ Kleinsen (again. lol, sorry-)

"Stop ignoring me and stop hurting yourself!!" ~ Kleinphy

Just a few things I thought of off the top of my head, I'll send in more if I think of any <3

OH MY GOD????

These are a LOT (/pos) THANK YOUUUUUUU

also never apologize for sending a lot of kleinsen it's like, my biggest comfort ever??? I'll just tag this with something so I can find it!

I'll dm you when your fic(s, depends on how motivated I'll be) is ready!!

Ty!

---

Reblog to let your followers know that despite your current obsession your previous obsessions still exist and are simply lying dormant until they awaken and strike again

---