When You Realize That Your On The Aromantic Spectrum Way Too Fucking Late In The Game And You Really

So this has been drifting about in my head since i got home today

[Mimura, not wanting to be dragged to another art museum]: Come on man, can't we just, like, stay home?

[Sugaya, staring him dead in the eyes]: I would drag you there but they said not to touch the masterpieces.

. . .

Mimura: FINE I'LL GO.

i've been thinking about this all day and this is what my brain comes up with :)

hahaha :'))

Part 13!

-

Evan: Fight me!

Jared, behind him, holding a knife: *Mouths* Do not.

-

Connor: I desire moisture.

Zoe: Just say 'I want water' like a normal human being.

-

Connor, to Jared: Stop calling yourself hot. The only thing you can turn on is the microwave.

-

Evan: What goes up but never comes down?

Jared: The amount of stress you bring me daily.

-

Miguel: How would you like your coffee?

Connor: As dark, and as bitter as my soul.

Miguel: Got it, one cup of milk with extra sugar coming right up!

-

Connor: I could kill you if I wanted.

Jared: Oh yeah? So could any other human being.

Jared: So could a dog.

Jared: So could a dedicated duck.

Connor:

Jared: Your not special.

-

Jared: How the hell are you still alive?

Evan: Honestly, I am just as confused as you are.

-

Jared: *Pulls back the curtain while Evan is showering*

Jared: Did we-- Evan, stop screaming, it's just me. --Did we run out of cheerios?

-

Larry: So what are your political beliefs?

Heidi, trying to sound like she knows what she's doing: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.

-

Connor: Stop failing!

Evan: Don't tell me what to do! I'll fail right now!

Evan: *Succeeds*

Evan: Dang it!

-

Evan: I am a responsible adult!

Jared: *Raises brow*

Evan: I am an adult.

Jared: That's much more accurate.

-

Connor: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

-

Jared, trying to impress Evan: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities, but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.

Zoe: He turned it off, and then turned it back on again.

-

Evan: So, Jared is no longer aloud to take the trash out at night.

Alana: Why?

Evan: Because I've caught him trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.

Jared, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

-

Zoe: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Connor: Well, that's just your personal opinion. I don't have anger issues. Do you guys think that I have anger issues?

Jared: Well, you see, I wouldn't call them 'issues'.

Jared: Issues are something you can fix.

-

Evan: My dad's name is just mine as well, so technically I'm just Mark Jr.

Jared: But who comes up when you look up 'Mark Evan Hansen' on google?

Alana: That's what I thought!

Jared: One Mark to rule them all!

-

Jared: Hello, it is I, your favorite person.

Evan: Oh actually, Zoe's my favorite person.

Jared, annoyed but holding it in: Okay, then.

Jared: It is I,

Jared: That bitch.

-

Alana: What's it like being tall?

Zoe: Is it nice?

Miguel: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Evan: We live in constant fear of the short ones, who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table, and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Jared: It was ONE time!

-

Alana, who just won Evan at armwrestling: I am strong! I beat Evan at armwrestling!

Connor, who has beaten Evan at armwrestling at least 7 separate times: Anyone can beat Evan at armwrestling.

Evan, who really just lets everyone win at armwrestling to be nice: Hey-

-

Miguel: Connor's gonna kill me.

Zoe: No, he'll probably just make me do it.

-

Evan: We can't tell you because your not a member of the club!

Jared: What club?

Connor: The Hating Jared Kleinman Club.

Jared: What the fuck? I should be the president of that club!

-

Alana: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!

Jared: The unmitigated poppycock?

Zoe: Extravagant hogwash!

Evan: Okay, stop.

-

Evan: How do you tell someone that you want to have sex with them in a polite way?

Connor: Excuse me Mr, would you give me the honour of indulging in sexual activity with you?

Jared: What the fuck is wrong with you two?

-

Jared: *Speaking Spanish*

Evan: I know, I know.

Alana: You speak Spanish?

Evan: No. I just know the phrase 'this is all your fault' in every language Jared speaks.

-

Zoe: The ritual. To perform it requires a sacrifice.

Connor: Sacrifice? I nominate Jared.

Jared: Wait, what?

Connor: Because you're little, you'll fit on a barbecue.

Jared: I'm 5'9, it's like average height in most of the world!

Evan: It's not that kind of of sacrifice guys!

-

Zoe: Connor won't wake up, what do I do?!

Jared: Did you try kicking him??

Zoe: Yes!

Jared: Then I'm out of ideas.

-

Evan: I asked Zoe out.

Jared: Oh, I'm sorry.

Evan: Why?

Jared: I just assumed she said no.

Evan: No actually, she said yes.

Jared: Oh.

Jared: Then I'm sorry for her.

-

Evan: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.

Alana: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.

Jared: Fuck you.

-

Jared: Zoe, I know you love Evan. I mean, we all do, he's a very nice person and I totally respect him deep down.

Jared: But I think he might be a fucking idiot.

-

Zoe: How high are you?

Connor: Hm, I don't know how to say it in feet.

Evan: No, she's asking you about what drugs your on.

Connor: Oh, antidepressants, why?

-

Evan: Connor gave me a Get Well Soon card.

Alana: Awhh, that's nice of him.

Evan: I wasn't sick, he just thought that I could do better.

-

Evan: Hey Jared, Connor just broke my seashell lamp,

Jared: Neat, I'm gonna die alone.

Evan:

Evan: Okay, you win.

-

[During the 'Evan using everyone and being a fucking asshole' segment]

Alana: You really believe in Evan?

Jared, annoyed: Luckily, he believes in himself enough for both of us.

-

Heidi: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Evan. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Evan!

Jared: Nope.

Heidi: In that case, as the archbishop of Jared's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Evan right on the lips!!!

-

Connor: Go. Let it out. Cry, Evan. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry.

Alana: Just when we thought it was safe to add you back into the conversation.

watching waitress for the first time for the sake of the whizzvin '50s diner au me and my friend are making wish me luck

(I'm... making an animatic)

Just a dream.... just ....a dream.

Well, at least I have the March of The Falsettos album on vinyl.

had a dream i went to a record store and they had EVERY marvin trilogy album on vinyl and i cried out of joy

DEH Incorrect Quotes Pt. 8 I Think??

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Jared: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

Evan:

-

Jared: I feel like doing something stupid.

Evan: I'm stupid.

Jared: ...?

Evan: Do me?

Jared: oH-

-

Miguel: As the top of this relationship, I think we should-

Connor: I can't believe your pulling rank on me.

-

Evan: I still have no idea how I'm attracted to you...

Jared: Too bad. You're stuck with me now, honey.

-

Evan: My life is a mess.

Jared: Relax. Go get a beer.

Evan: I don't want a beer?

Jared: Who said it was for you?

-

Evan: We vegetarians love the environment. Carnivores are sick freaks.

Connor: How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants.

-

Jared: I'm bored, any suggestions?

Alana, trying to get him to have a decent sleep schedule: Sleeping is nice.

Jared: I acknowledge your suggestion, and I’m deciding to ignore it.

-

Connor: When life gives you lemons, what do you do?

Alana: Make lemonade! :)

Connor: No! You throw the lemons back up into the sky and make life deal with it's own shit!

-

Evan: That's illegal, right?

Jared: Why do you care, are you fucking a cop or something?

Evan: No-

Jared: Then shut the fuck up.

-

7 year old Zoe: I lost my fish, can you help me find it?

9 year old Connor, cooking the fish: What? Speak up, I can't hear you.

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Alana: Just be yourself, say something nice!

Jared: Which one? I can't do both.

-

Zoe: Are you drinking enough water?

Evan: Sometimes my tears get in my mouth.

-

Evan: I wanna die.

Jared: We all do, you're not special.

-

Evan: Pick a card, any card.

Connor: Fine.

Evan: Wait, that's my credit card-

Connor: You said any card.

-

Miguel: So, what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Connor: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?

Miguel: Uh yeah, I guess-

Connor: Then I'd sleep.

-

Evan: Where are you going??

Jared: Hell, eventually.

-

Zoe: Hey besties-

Jared: Die.

Zoe: What did I ever do to you-

-

Evan: Jared, I sense hostility.

Jared: Good, because I fucking hate you.

-

Miguel: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween!

Connor: That doesn't exist-

Miguel: Not with that attitude.

-

Miguel: I wanna be called cute 21/7.

Connor: Why not 24/7?

Miguel: Snack breaks.

-

Connor, annoyed af: Why can't trees give off something fucking useful... like wifi.

Jared:

Jared: So then just fuck oxygen I guess.

-

Alana: *Sharpens knife* We have ways of making people talk.

Alana: *Cuts piece of cake*

Evan: ....Can I have some?

Alana: Cake is for talkers.

-

Evan: What are you drinking?

Jared: Vodka.

Evan: Straight???

Jared: No, gay. Why?

-

Jared: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMBFUCK!

Evan: LET ME RUN AWAY FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!!

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Connor: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.

Zoe: And I need you to be less vague and weird-

-

Alana, texting: Answer your phone

Jared, texting: Wait a minute, I can't find my phone.

Alana: Understood.

Alana, five minutes later: You're a terrible person. You know you're killing me. You're killing me, Jared.

-

Evan: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Evan: And I started thinking.

Evan: Like, it was just trying to get food.

Evan: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Alana: Are you ok?

-

Miguel: What is the one thing I told you not to do?

Connor: Burn the house down.

Miguel: And what did you do?!

Connor: I made dinner.

Miguel:

Connor:

Miguel:

Connor: Okay fine. And burnt the house down.

-

Evan: Hello, Jared. Made anyone cry today?

Jared: Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.

-

Alana: When's the last time you slept?!

Jared: Uh.. a few days ago, I think??

Alana: How many days?

Jared: *Starts counting on his fingers*

Jared: I need more fingers.

Alana: What yOU NEED IS S L E E P!

-

Zoe: HELP! I'M DROWNING!!

Connor: Calm down, we're only in six feet of water.

Zoe: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

-

Jared: What'cha doing?

Connor: Stealing my neighbours cat.

Jared: Scandalous.

Jared: Can I help?

-

Jared: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’

Evan: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

-

Connor: *makes Miguel a cup of tea but puts salt in it*

Miguel: *sips tea*

Connor:

Miguel: *finishes tea*

Connor: Didn't it taste bad?

Miguel: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Connor, tearing up: Oh, okay.

-

Alana: So I have made the decision to trust you.

Evan: A horrible decision, really.

-

Evan: Hopefully, Jared has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.

Jared: Oh shut up and die, Evan.

-

Connor: Alright, listen up you little shits-

Connor: Except you, Alana. You're an angel, and we're thrilled you're here.

-

Zoe: Can you pass the salt?

Jared: Can you pass away?

Zoe: Too much salt.

where did you find the beforehand dialogue

I'm not crying, you're crying

Did you guys know that right when More Racquetball ends, and Charlotte takes Whizzer back, if you're wearing headphones, you can hear Marvin say "What?" in the most heartbreaking tone imaginable? Because he didn't expect Whizzer to need to go to the hospital? Because I fucking didn't.

AAA; thank YOU! 

Take your time tho, drink lots of water and don’t stay up like i did the other night because now i have eye bags <3

*Slams head on keyboard*

IT'S 2 A.M. BUT GOSHDANGIT I HAVE SO MANY DEH THINGS FLOATING AROUND MY BRAIN FOR YOUR CHALLENGE!!

Songs:

For Evan: Dead-Bird by McCafferty; Dead Weight by Jack Stauber; Maybe a bit of the ENA Remix (Allergic to People Meme); Michelle by Sir Chloe; The Anxiety Song By Human Petting Zoo

For Jared: Taking My Uzi To The Gym By The Front Bottoms; i just learned the f word By SARIAH sort of has the Jared vibe to it; Loser by Mccafferty

[I recommend listening to these if ya haven't when you get the time ^^]

Vague Plotlines (lol):

Michael tries to get a patch for Jeremy to put on his jacket for when Jeremy himself wears it but can't find one that fits perfectly and has to ask him about it.

Jared's parents are never home- too busy with their jobs (as real estate agents that travel a lot) to come home and visit him for his birthday but even after the fight Evan leaves him a present by his door.

Brooke gets really sad over the fact that she can't eat froyo so Chloe goes out and buys her every fucking flavour of ice cream that she can find that is dairy-free because fuck lactose intolerance, we can still have a nice movie night.

Connor starts randomly cutting himself while he's high in front of Jared and to stop him all Jared can do in his also extremely drugged up state of brain is kiss him

Dialogue Prompts:

"I've moved on, and you should too." ~ Kleinsen

"Move over, this bathtubs only got so much room in it." ~ Boyf riends

"Tell me everything." ~ Conguel (Connor x Miguel)

"Nice ass, tall-ass!" ~ Spicy Bis

"Your not the loser, the geek, or whatever." ~ Deere

"I'm watching you. You better not fall out of any more fucking trees." ~ Kleinsen (again. lol, sorry-)

"Stop ignoring me and stop hurting yourself!!" ~ Kleinphy

Just a few things I thought of off the top of my head, I'll send in more if I think of any <3

OH MY GOD????

These are a LOT (/pos) THANK YOUUUUUUU

also never apologize for sending a lot of kleinsen it's like, my biggest comfort ever??? I'll just tag this with something so I can find it!

I'll dm you when your fic(s, depends on how motivated I'll be) is ready!!

Ty!

so, let's talk about the chess game a little more thoroughly

in the chess game (from falsettos, idk if that's apparently clear, "a chess game" could literally be anything lol) there's a pattern of impatience that follows the two main characters.

Marvin's impatience is fully one-sided, you can see as Whizzer begins the game, he's insistent for him to get his turn over with, even going so far as to (quite condescendingly) ask if Whizzer wants his help. But then the moment it's his turn, he takes his time despite Whizzer having rushed his first move.

I think this might stem from his constant need to "help", or rather, control every situation. He thinks it's always his job to be the leader of every circumstance, as the stereotypical man.

It definitely comes from a childhood of commanding others around and not having a heavy amount of discipline for his actions.

Otherwise, Marvin taking time to calculate his move shows that he's careful with his own placement in life. A life of tiptoing around himself and never actually accepting the full extent of his personality, or sexuality has made him incredibly courteous of where he stands. Maybe it even came from his relationship with Trina, how not being careful led him to being forced into an arranged marriage.

Meanwhile, (and I know I've gone through this bit before in other posts but yes, thanks, I need more appreciation on William Finn not just victimizing Whizzer. Like, he's not that great either guys. We love him, but he isn't perfect.) Whizzer uses the game as a strategy to get Marvin on his side.

Although instead of healthily sorting through his MASS amount of issues, Whizzer pretty much just ends up manipulating him into throwing the game. It's interesting because Whizzer has an opportunity to discuss all of the problems they have with Marvin.

They're in a place in their relationship where he can clearly just throw anything out there, but then he strikes back with anger instead of trying to actually figure out the main issues and help them both through it, effectively shutting off Marvin's ability to actually listen to anything he has to say.

The chess game was actually staged so perfectly, because you can clearly see all of the toxicity in one contained place during that song. There's obviously snippets in others, Marvin's inability to change and Whizzer's insistence not to change because changing would mean they would have to actually talk about their feelings toward each other.

anyways, these are just my thoughts on this :) none of its fully canon, I was just watching through clips of the proshot and realized some interesting things

I'm back with more absolutely rabid analyzations!

I've kinda had this circling my mind for a while, but every time I find myself relistening to falsettos (the 2016 revival) I notice a very specific difference in the way marvin/christian borle sings from act one and two.

like, I'm sure it's MEANT to be different, of course, it's a sung-through musical and a difference in the way the actors sing when time passes makes logical sense...

but I've always kinda realized that in certain parts marvin just... has a higher voice, especially in act two.

there's some bits and pieces of it scattered throughout act one, but take ttofl for example, the whole time marvin relies solely on one note, and occasionally shifts up the octave but only when singing alongside or arguing against whizzer─ but technically it can also switch, shone in their fight about their disputes and regular diagreeance.

("won't,"⬆️ "don't"⬇️ "won't" ⬆️ "DON'T." ⬇️⬇️⬇️)

-for another example of them fighting and marvin actually pitching UP his voice to be over whizzer's, see the beginning when they are arguing about how many months they've been together.-

and thus, I have rallied up this info (could I be delusional? probably.) to bring you a headcanon, consisting of:

marvin pitching his voice down to fit the role of the more 'masculine' man.

I COULD BE WRONG. TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. BUT I HAVE CONVINCED MYSELF THIS IS SOMEWHAT REAL.

also I just thought it would make a good fic / oneshot premise, idk.

anyhow, take this as you will, I might've relistened to this album too many times and now my brain is scrambled.

marvin also just has a higher voice in my head because every other actor opposed to cborle, mostly, has a high /ish voice.

thank you for your time, lol, have fun knowing this exists 😁

Heyyyyyyyyyy

It's ur favorite table member. Just wanted to ask you something

How do I get the butches interested in me? I'm trying to get over on the butch side with no luck :(

What can I do to draw in all of the butch baddies?

-love and ballads, the pelican harmer's gal.

my girly! hello 🫶

be yourself, slay, be gay do crime. listen to indie music. listen to girl in red.

definitely keep up the aesthetically pleasing lifestyle, and never stop the Oscar Wilde craze.

most importantly, have fun, be safe, and probably search the beach areas because that's where all the pretty and tall girls go. I've had many-a-crushes who I met at the beach lol.

also, don't crush on pelican harmers, they are def gonna end up bad for your health.

-your dearly beloved, the butch Oscar Wilde estranged parent