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Jared & Alana:

Hi just wondering! Do you have an AO3?

yes I do!

I have more fic ideas in the works and one shots and such, but so far it's just a book of random falsettos fluff (that I hope to update soon).

here it is!

Random Incorrect DEH Quotes I Found While Poking Around (Pt. Two) :

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Evan: The human body is %70 water, so we are basically just all cucumbers with anxiety.

Jared: Excuse you, but with the amount of salt and alcohol that I consume daily, I think it's more accurate to say that i'm an anxiety pickle.

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Evan: You often use humour to deflect trauma.

Jared: Thank you!

Evan: I- never said that was a good thing..

Jared: What i'm hearing is that you think i'm funny.

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Jared: I've met a lot of pricks in my life, but you, Evan, are a fucking cactus.

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Jared: I will FIGHT the next person to insult Connor.

Connor: Bitch why, i'm a piece of shit

Jared: ALRIGHT SQUARE UP YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD-

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Connor, walking in: Sorry I was late, I was doing... stuff.

Jared, slamming open the door and looking noticeably disheveled: HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING S T A I R S-

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Jared: 4/20 is in 14 days, and I want you all to know that I will not tolerate any weed jokes. Not on my good, christian blog.

Connor: But your Jewish-

Jared: Not when it comes to the devil's lettuce, you heathen stoner fuck-

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Death: I've come to kill you.

Evan: Let me ask Jared.

Death: It isn't a choi-

Evan: He said no.

@chanty-loves-turtles sorry this took so long I’ve been job hunting and have summer extracurriculars!! but o h b o y this one hurt

thank you for sending it in anyhow :)

Ayo, back at it again with the incorrect quotes

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Evan: Bad things keep happening to me. I must have bad luck, or something.

Jared: Evan, bad things don't keep happening to you because you have 'bad luck'. Bad things keep happening to you because your a fucking dumbass.

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Connor: I'm a reverse necromancer.

Zoe: Isn't that just killing people?

Connor: Ah, technically.

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After The 'Connor Stole My Letter' Incident:

Evan: Am I in trouble?

Jared: Take a guess.

Evan: N.. no??

Jared:

Jared: Take another guess.

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Alana: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait till' I get back.

Evan: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

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Evan: You saved me.. I owe you my life.

Jared: No thanks. I've seen it, and i'm not very impressed.

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Jared: Is letting someone win at chest sapiosexual bottoming

Alana: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak.

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Alana: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Evan's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

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Connor: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.

Jared: Only if you also don't ask why

Jared: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.

Connor:

Jared:

Connor: This one is fine

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Jared: Here's some advice

Evan: I didn't ask for any

Jared: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

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Alana: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Connor: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

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Zoe: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Jared: *turning to Evan* How tall are you?

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Connor: Miguel and I don’t use pet names.

Zoe: I see. Hey, off topic but, what do bees make?

Connor: Honey?

Miguel: Yes, dear?

Connor:

Zoe: Don't ever lie to my face again.

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Evan: Jared, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?

Jared: I don't know, love you, talk to you later.

Evan: Okay, love you too! I'll just go ask Connor.

Jared:

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Evan: I told Jared his ears flush when he lies.

Alana: ...Why?

Evan: Just watch.

Evan: Hey Jared, do you love me?

Jared, covering his ears: NO.

Alana:

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Connor: How's the sexiest person here?

Miguel: I dunno, how are you?

Connor: I-

Jared, from across the room: I'M DOING GREAT, THANK YOU.

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*Jared and Evan sitting in jail together*

Evan: So, who should we call?

Jared: I would call Connor, but I feel safer in jail.

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Zoe: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Jared: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Evan: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

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Jared: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Evan: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Jared: In that case, we're definitely lost.

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Alana: I love you guys, your the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Zoe: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you? :0

Alana: Yes!

Jared: I'm starting to feel a little bad for you.

I thought it prudent to say that I'm seeing Tammy Faye in it's preview stage in New York on Saturday (next Saturday) and I WILL learn what the beef is (if that hasn't been solved yet) 👁️👁️

So this has been drifting about in my head since i got home today

[Mimura, not wanting to be dragged to another art museum]: Come on man, can't we just, like, stay home?

[Sugaya, staring him dead in the eyes]: I would drag you there but they said not to touch the masterpieces.

. . .

Mimura: FINE I'LL GO.

i've been thinking about this all day and this is what my brain comes up with :)

hahaha :'))

oh god. who's saying this?? who even??? Andrew isn't a narcissist guys, he's allowed to leave musicals if they're not for him and he's allowed to talk about it.

would you rather he say nothing? a lot of people were/are going to see the Tammy Faye musical because of Andrew, right?

well, he's on social media. he probably saw people on excited to see him, and wanted to let them know on a widely broadcast piece of media? it's not self obsessed, it's actually pretty smart if you think about. kinda like a better way to not let misinformation spread.

it's another way to let people know he's not going to be doing it anymore. people need to take a breath, man, stop getting uselessly angry at someone because you're upset they aren't in something anymore, or because of the fact that they wanted to tell people they weren't. it's a decent fucking thing to do. seriously y'all. c'mon.

so fucking mad at people saying “andrew shouldnt have announced this at the tonys hes making it about himself / hes self obsessed” buddy he was clearly Asked a question about it and he answered?? wtf else was he supposed to do?? definitely not LIE about it thatd be even worse?? do yall agree??

where did you find the beforehand dialogue

I'm not crying, you're crying

Did you guys know that right when More Racquetball ends, and Charlotte takes Whizzer back, if you're wearing headphones, you can hear Marvin say "What?" in the most heartbreaking tone imaginable? Because he didn't expect Whizzer to need to go to the hospital? Because I fucking didn't.

As an artist I can confirm that this is indeed the most accurate thing I’ve seen all fucking day.

twinkle twinkle little star

why is art so fuCKING HARD