Good Morning. This Might Be My Last Message From The City Of Rafah. The Occupation [Israel] Is Carrying

"People often ask me if I like being the 'goody two shoes' of the Expanse, seeing as I don't put entire planets to the sword like Chorda nor do I leave them to the wolves like Winterscale."

"To those detractors I must say, my people love me, my profits have never been higher and I'm pretty sure none of them have had the amount of interesting bedpartners I have"

Sobbing, wailing, screaming, etc.

29 / 08 / 2024 🪩💪🏽🌈

this is one of the stupidest things ive ever come up with! 💘

#suggestive #nsfw talk

I've decided that I want to learn to draw properly and what better way to learn than to draw the DnD characters of me and my fellow players? I'll be posting my favorite sketches semi-regularly, mainly to keep myself motivated and to get a nice overview of my progress. Today's top sketch: Evalyne, a shifter sorceress. She belongs to one of my fellow players and I met her in my first ever Campaign. If any artists stumble across this and have advice, I'd be glad to hear it!

Spoilers for act 5 of Warhammer 40k: Rogue trader!!!!

So, the scene with the different versions of the RT right? I'm not quite sure what the lore reason for the sudden merging of realities was, but I'm not complaining just to be clear. I went Iconoclast for my first run, so maybe you get different versions, depending on which path you take. But the Glorious version???? She's living in my head rent free. Just imagine, you get pulled out of your own life abruptly and are thrust into the position of rogue trader of a burning protectorate, while all the people who could have supported you along the way are dead. You're on your own, at best people fear and/or respect you, at worst they want you dead or to use you. And still you manage to put out all the fires and even come out better for it at the end, of course you'd develop a massive ego. You're still alone, you have no true friends to speak of, but you clearly don't need them. All this you managed on your own. Then suddenly, on your way to claim your biggest trophy yet, you're confronted with three different versions of you. The kicker? You're the only one standing all alone. Look! There's the people you saw die, that left you to fend for yourself. One of them has a whole squad to back them up! Even a full on heretic at least has one person with her. Among the big group, one of them sneers at you and calls you the epitome of everything detestable about Rogue Traders. The version of you with the big retinue looks you in the eyes and tells you she pities you. (I have a hc that my rt is a really sociable gal, so this hits extra hard for the glorious version, even if she tells herself she doesn't need anyone). How dare she?! She should be grovelling before you. She needed all those people to achieve the same things you did. Of course you agree to kill her first. And then... And then of course you're defeated, because you were outnumbered from the start, because here you can't hide behind your glory and riches. You die on the cold stones of a reality that isn't even your own, at the hands of those that call every version but you, friend.

My top sketch of today is Meiru. A Halfling barbarian and my first ever PC. I like how the legs turned out on this one, even if the hip-shoulder ratio isn't quite where I want it to be. I tried to fix that in some later sketches but the hair and face didn't work out in those, so here we are!

Another drawing of Evalyne. (And some pointy teeth I guess). I really like how this one turned out. Especially the waist coat thingy. I found this bomb reference on Pinterest for it. The ears aren't really where I want them to be though. Oh well.

website

It's so weird talking to people who's view of "here's the way life is for everyone" is shattered as soon as they talk to someone with disabilities (physical, mental illness, any). Like you'll say you'll have a problem and instead of helping you they'll argue with you about how you're not actually facing that problem. Like,

Me: Hey, I'm really struggling to find a job and a part of it is my resume. I was depressed & psychotic during highschool so I didn't do anything to gain skills or achievements to put on my resume. I also don't have anyone to put as a reference. What can I do?

Them: You can add your skills, hobbies, clubs you're in, and different volunteer work you've done! You can also get your teacher as a reference.

Me: I already know what to put on a resume, my issue is that I don't have things that I can use. Also, I'm in my mid 20s so I don't know if I can put my highschool teacher as a reference.

Them: Well if you're a part of a church or an activity group, you could add that. Also, think of any projects you've worked on in the past.

Me: I already know you can put these things on a resume. I'm not looking for suggests of things I've already done, I'm looking for what I can do now if I haven't done anything.

Them: There's no way you didn't do anything during highschool?? What about some odd jobs you definitely did for extra money, like babysitting or mowing the lawn?

Me: I spent all of highschool either in modified classes or in bed doing nothing - not even hobbies, what about that do you not understand?

And then you talk to someone who's also disabled and they're like "Here's a bunch of jobs you can do from home that don't pay much but look good on a resume, here's some free online courses that also look good on a resume, here's how you can be making small amounts of money in the meantime, here's some things you can put besides a professional reference, and here are your rights if your future employer tries to take advantage of your disability - which you probably shouldn't tell them about unless you need accommodations."

And suddenly my will to continue trying returns!

i genuinely love love love the iconoclast path in rogue trader SO MUCH. its one of the things that ultimately enamors me to the warhammer franchise as a whole despite empathy being so antithetical to its world and genre. its not just because iconoclast is the Nice Person route or because it subverts the foundational principle that In The Grim Dark Universe There Is Only War............ but mostly i love it because its the best way to actually engage w the morality system presented in 40k and explore it the way it deserves to be explored. its so unique parsing through the choices of the game and navigating how one might actually ACHIEVE goodness through - or more accurately without - the lens of liberal modern morality. because adhering to what we presently would call morality is arguably crueler than some of the dogmatic choices - or at least the game wants you to reflect on that and decide if that kind of morality still has value or not. and i like that they give you the opportunity to do that. youre rarely rewarded for kindness in this game and in fact your oftentimes actively punished for it (void shadows was a TRIAL for my iconoclast rt) which presents another question: are you being good because of a reward you believe you'lll be entitled to, or are you being good for the sake of goodness itself??? in saying that i do LOVE how there IS payoff in the iconoclast route eventually - when youve bleed and suffered for it enough. but theres a quality to it thats so..... so BITTERSWEET, because yippee you Empathed your way to the top - but also what IS the top?? congratulations, you are the kindest autocrat in the most bloodthirsty fascist regime in human history, sitting on your throne on a voidship run by all your slaves and serfs who die by the hundreds every time you make a warpjump for some dumbass sidequest. what the fuck. can you actually call that goodness ????? is whatever goodness-adjacent thing youve achieved worth it even if you cant change the system in the ways that matter ??? lastly - the iconoclast ending is both so wildly universe-altering to the point of feeling like a heretical ending - but also kind of. not mattering really lol. because even though its hopeful, the "good" ending still feels soooo tentative with the likelihood that its very likely not going to last. but that in itself is my favorite take away from playing this game as The Last Good Guy in the Galaxy: because the love DIDNT change anything. and it DOESNT save anyone. but ohhhhhhhhh my fucking god does it absolutely matter that it was there.