The-alice-barn - The Alice Barn

New poem time:

Another day, pacing four walls

Dreaming to escape away

To trees, the smalls, the talls

Where maybe someone will find me

Waiting

Another night, I hold inanimate

Plush beings in hope they'll heal

Me and before it's too late

And I'll feel safe alone

Waiting

Another morning, I wake to

My breaking mind looking down

Crying to my dying heart who

Neither has answers nor hope for the

Waiting

Another evening, I want to cry

For painkillers for my dying soul

Who can't help but ask why

I'm still here when I'm just

Waiting

Maybe I should go

Waiting

Only hurts more

Waiting

Makes me care less

Waiting

Maybe it's not worth it

Sometimes I wonder if there's something to performers in difference to all other art. I wonder why there's that urge to spill all your emotions to a crowd. It's beautiful to see and, as someone who's done it, beautiful to do. But no other art is like that. Sure there's the exhibition to show visual arts or in the intricacies in craft arts but it's such a quiet emotion whose scream is a passive one. I wonder a lot about what drives us to be so public and communal about our messages and stories.

I wonder if we're a type. I grew up with dance girls and I can only remember one trait that united us all, we're all emotional. Not in the cry about every little thing way but we all had this urge to get all our emotions out and to others, maybe this is why gossip is so rampant in our circles. Even the stoic dancers were stoic in spite of their emotions, they even danced with this careful exhale of feeling. I remember us cloggers were definitely a type, we were all energetic and headstrong. I mean, reasons a dance style that's loud, fast, and rural would attract us.

I've been around a lot of theater kids growing up and I think a very similar thing is true. I can't speak as one of them but to a person the ones who performed had this hemorrhaging emotional quality. It was channeled differently and definitely had a different vibe but that feeling was there. I think band kids did this too, again with a completely different feel.

Maybe I'm just witnessing an all artist thing and understanding it as a performer thing but I think visual artists, writers, and other non performance arts don't have. That's not to denigrate those art forms, they do some things way better than us, but I think there's this special quality to us performers that unites us and informs how we are.

"Bethesda/Todd Howard doesn't actually hate FNV 🙄"

They have stated the show is apparently 100% canon and they're using it to retcon the only good Fallout game to come out in decades. It wasn't even enough to ruin West Coast lore post-FNV, they're literally saying FNV never happened.

No wonder Pete Hines resigned back in October; even he thought this was stupid.

Bethesda haters stay correct. Anyone who somehow still had hope for this franchise despite the last ten years, now you can finally let go.

i am not a “content creator.” i am a weird faggot on the internet

I think the etymology of the word vice is interesting in the experience of having them. Yes there's the surface layer, vices in workshops clamp things a vice clamps you, but past that vices the tools are made to hold things. When used properly they can position a workpiece to be worked on and improved but when used incorrectly often by someone inexperienced can damage or destroy the workpiece.

You can misuse a tool, girl you've been on construction sites no shit, what's my point in this?

Think of any vice you want and most cases there's an ethical and healthy way of doing it. When done properly and in moderation some of these vices can be big cultural or interpersonal rituals. It's when these things are done, often in inexperience, poorly to the damage of oneself and others.

My point is this, don't fret if you do a "harmful" behavior now and then. So long as all involved are able to agree and agree to it willingly, go for it. Just don't overdo it, don't do it once so hard it takes everything down with you and don't let it become such a part of your life it eclipses everything else.

At the end of the day, life is just a mosaic of experiences. The good, the bad, the healthy, and the dirty all paint the whole.

YOU CAN'T JUST HIDE RELATABLE STUFF LIKE THAT IN THE TAGS😭😭😭

If Jessie and Delilah ever decide to have a child, who’s carry the baby? But that’s only if they decide to have a baby.

But if that’s not happening, what about adoption? And how would Ash and James react?

I mentioned it before somewhere else but someone asked a similar question and I said Jessie! Just because I figure Delia's already "been there, done that and doesn't want to do again" haha. i drew the kiddos too

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I don't think Jessie and Delia would have more kids but I can't help but design next gen kids/fuse characters together. Drew these two just

i have unfortunately thought about all this stuff but it will never see the light of day because IM TRYING TO HAVE RESTRAINT. i've always done next gen stuff and fankids (it's literally how i started online lol). trying to avoid my old tendencies and focus on new stuff! there's already a lot of fun to be had in this hanamusa au with the already established characters. don't wanna throw that all aside for stuff i've already kinda done hehe

I'm going to lose

Modern Catra in my MetalliCat AU

New goal in life

Never buy a drink at a place that has a surcharge for people under 21

Dunno that's kinda bs