Latest Posts by thenallelsemusthavefailed - Page 6

Wait a minute if elves take a hundred years to grow up that has some weird implications.

So… if we say a human comes of age in fantasy worlds at 16, that means it takes an elf 6.25 years to age one human year. If we say the age of maturity is 18 that’s 5.55 years.

So then… okay with people that live a long time have to see their human friends die and probably see them like pets yeah that’s been explored to death. But what about a human just seeing their friend not grow up?

An elf toddler and a human toddler become friends at a playdate. At the time the human is two and the elf is 13. Emotionally the elf is just a little older than the human. But then the human grows up. He grows up and as he grows up his friend doesn’t. Not much, anyways.

She’s still sucking her thumb and throwing tantrums the entire time that he grows up. When he reaches the age where he’d choose a trade or go to an academy he’s earning extra money by babysitting her. During his initiation into adulthood on his 18th birthday she’s there with her parents holding a stuffed animal. Later that afternoon he sees her being shown some colorful flashcards with letters of the elvish alphabet on it by her father.

The human gets older. He learns how to fight, he goes from town to town getting work. At some point he joins the army. Every time he visits his hometown he has at least one more scar and by the time he’s 30 and the elf girl is mentally seven by human standards she starts to understand that something is wrong. Even after he settles down to be a home maker for the local blacksmith something feels wrong.

And she watches him grow old. When she’s in her 80s she babysits his grandchildren for extra cash after school, coming over in her school robes and ruffling his hair. She doesn’t remember why she became friends with this human or when but a strange sense of jealousy fills her heart.

Now she realizes it. She realizes it too late, on the day her friend learns that he is dying. The first day of her 100th year and the start of his last. Humans’ lifetimes may only last for the childhood of an elf if they’re lucky, but they learn so fast. They do so much. They cram their days full of love and hate and learning and wonder.

He knew this was coming. He knew all of this decades before she did, because elves are slow. Not stupid, certainly not stupid, but very very slow. She holds her old friend’s hand as he lays down on his bed. A man that has led such an ordinary life but feels so extraordinary to her. Because he has always, always been there and now he just won’t. Because in her eyes he became so wise so fast and now he’s just gonna be gone.

On an elf’s 100th birthday they are allowed to choose a new name for themselves. It can be important, or not. Usually it will follow them until the end of time. She stands in front of her family’s elders and is asked what name she will be called from now on.

She names herself after him.

>DIGITAL CONNECTION >ELECTRIC GUTS

(Design sketch + alt version under the cut smrile)

my favourite instagram account is "wheredoesthepeecomeout" and it's run by a girl who asks men on tinder where cis women pee from and then documents their answers

LOVESHOCK. a.k.a Kian Stone!

Hero of electrical sound and dashing charisma!

Uses electrical shockwaves in offensive strikes to fend off an enemy.

May charm or control an opponent through concentrating his power through his guitar. Requires intense concentration, hard to come by during combat.

"Sick! Yeah, I can get you an autograph dude! After I save the day ofcourse!"

*trying to call a woman beautiful but i've forgotten how to engage other humans in conversation* girl, you remind me of architecture

I cannot believe there's absolutely no way to watch free shows and movies anymore, there are too many paid streaming platforms and pirating websites have viruses and ads preventing you from watching it uninterrupted((.)) id rather follow the rules and purchase media moving forward because it is too inconvenient. Seriously, free and no ads or viruses with 1080p streaming is DEAD.

"Absolutely no one comes to save us but us."

Ismatu Gwendolyn, "you've been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)", from Threadings, on Substack [ID'd]

The local queer centrum asked us all to support the ban on conversion therapy in the EU initiative, so now it's My Job to do it seriously.

We still need so many signatures. Damn. So. Many. Signatures.

Come on people, we can do this!!

You order a package off Amazon. When the Amazon delivery guy shows up to your door, instead of giving you the package you bought, he beats the shit out of you. Then, when he sees that you are not dead yet, he calls all of the Amazon delivery people in the area and they all proceed to beat the shit out of you. Miraculously, you survive. Another miracle: a friend in your neighborhood caught the assault on video. After a month of recovery and extensive hospital bills that you have no idea what to do with, the video has gone viral. You read the comments below. “This is what happens to people who fuck with Amazon!!!” Someone says. “I’ve never been beaten up by Amazon employees, and I’ve been using them all my life!” Someone else comments. Later, you start to see articles popping up about your story. They all mention that when you were 17, your license was revoked for reckless driving. In a Facebook post on your mom’s feed, someone is going on a rant about how not all Amazon delivery guys are bad, and that if you look really close, the “bad” ones are just stressed out. Your name is trending on Twitter. Jeff Bezos films a response to your attack, denouncing the video of you getting beaten to within an inch of your life by his employees as becoming “a symbol of hate towards Amazon.” The people who attacked you still deliver packages around your neighborhood. You saw one of them just yesterday as you were watering your plants. You still can’t pay your hospital bills. Your phone dings- Twitter again. “Maybe if you didn’t order from Amazon,” someone pipes up, “this wouldn’t have happened!”

Note to self do not leave pens in the car in arizona i gUESS????

I had a dream last night there was, like, some kinda 4-Chan campaign to cyber bully you for not being a “real wizard” but every time someone would try to send you a tumblr ask with a curse in it, you would just reply with an image of a face wrapped up with cobwebs and covered in spiders. Each picture had a different face in it and people figured out pretty soon that they were all the people who were trying to Witch-Hunt you, and there ended up being a bit of a debate about whether it counted as doxxing, but in the end it didn’t matter because it turns out that all the people in the images went missing without a trace the exact same instant that their picture was posted. I don’t remember much else except for there was a popular hashtag about it that was something like Hashtag PuritansGetPIDERS

prophetic

Protect Queer and Trans Kids ⚡️

Digital art of a queer nonbinary teen with glasses and a beanie wearing a rainbow shirt with their back to us. They have a striped long sleeve on and red pants with a star patch. Text reads, ‘schools should be a safe place for queer and trans kids.’

I'm so sorry you're hurting yourself like this. You're clearly an autistic young woman. I hope you get the help you need ❤️

thank you so much!! i really needed this encouragement. it means so much to hear you call me a woman, especially since im a cisgender male.

i will get the help i need! ill look into hormone replacement therapy and become the beautiful autistic young woman you see inside me!!

the one and only

A thing that bothers me about wizard schools in popular media – outside of the magic-grade-school stuff, anyway – is that they're typically depicted as being basically magic universities, but their actual curricula and pedagogical approaches look much more like those of a technical institution. Like, buddy, that's not a wizard university, that's a wizard trade school. You can't just slap university student culture on top of trade school pedagogy. It doesn't work like that – the one emerges from the other!

Full offense but your writing style is for you and nobody else. Use the words you want to use; play with language, experiment, use said, use adverbs, use “unrealistic” writing patterns, slap words you don’t even know are words on the page. Language is a sandbox and you, as the author, are at liberty to shape it however you wish. Build castles. Build a hovel. Build a mountain on a mountain or make a tiny cottage on a hill. Whatever it is you want to do. Write.

MY violence will stop the cycle of violence

Owning a black cat is awesome because you’ll leave the bathroom and The Shape will be waiting for you

NOW SHE'S BRINGIN' OUT THE BIG GUNS!

meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you.

Naive no more, young prince

The tags are everything I know. I am sharing this with every single one to try and spread the word.

this is what i thought of as soon as he said "thats not how you draw a bird" and then BOOM my canvas was open

blink and runt refs tomorrow i got ideas while relistening during a car ride (also aeon ideas omg!!)

Doing some art studies because I feel like I'm forgetting how to draw

Shoutout my girl Jay Ferin for help

clothes colours are iffy BUTTTTTTTTTTTTT HERRRRR THATS MY 10000 IQ BABY

Runt :3

wonder how they made that !