[ID: An Etsy Listing For The Shop ShaneIsCreationsLLC With A Picture Of Three Badges. The First Badge

Every time I see another ibuprofen post on this site I'm like STOP

STOP

Stop.

Take that after a meal. Take it with a big glass of water. Don't take it on an empty stomach EVER. Don't take it with alcohol. You will destroy your stomach. You will end up with an ulcer. You will vomit blood. I'm not exaggerating.

Yes, you. Yes, it will happen to cute little you. With your cute little bottle of miracles. Ibuprofen really does that to your body.

Love, an adult person over 35 who can't take NSAIDs anymore

The "I don't want the generation that grew up eating lead paint and breathing asbestos making decisions for me" is absolutely wild coming from the generation born during a time when people thought one or two glasses of wine during the first trimester is okay.

Be careful when talking about the older generations' ability to make decisions. If your abelism starts showing, I'm going to be forced to point out a vast majority of Millennials and older GenZ probably have Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) because when we were fetuses, our parents thought that fucking up your kid because you decided to drink while pregnant meant Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS).

And we're just learning that there's more mild cases than FAS, creating a need for a new term for the diagnosis. With symptoms like slower learning, hypersensitivity, lack of emotional regulation, and reduced empathy.

If there is any chance that your mom had a drink or two while pregnant? Yeah. It's a fairly new diagnosis too.

1 in 10 pregnant women between 18 and 44 reports drinking alcohol.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Key Findings: Alcohol use and binge drinking among women of...

The Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report (MMWR) has published a new study looking at alcohol use among pregnant and nonpregnant women of ch

FASD was only changed to account for more mild cases of the disorder in 2005.

PubMed Central (PMC)

Updated Clinical Guidelines for Diagnosing Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders

The adverse effects of prenatal alcohol exposure constitute a continuum of disabilities (fetal alcohol spectrum disorders [FASD]). In 1996,

So yeah. Stop being fucking abelist by shitting on baby boomers for probably having reduced cognition from lead poisoning. It's diving hypocritical when there a greater than zero likelihood that you also have underdeveloped brains because we didn't have the science at the time to say "this is a bad idea".

-fae

That's right. It looks like the two adult characters did physically get on top of her, restrain her, and put weight on her. Of course there could have been some cinema magic in place to protect Maddie, who was a child, from being injured, but it looks a lot like they put at least half of their weight on the poor girl and even that could have seriously hurt her or started to suffocate her. Did she have a hand signal to tell the crew that something was wrong and she needed the scene to cut? Wait, her hands were restrained. How was she supposed to communicate that she genuinely needed help and wasn't just pretending to be panicked? Restraints like that could have made speech very difficult, maybe impossible. So yeah, Maddy very much could have been in actual danger.

Considering how little Sia seems to care about putting people in danger with what she's portraying, I wouldn't put it past her. Doing this safely would have required careful planning and a lot of effort she seemed at loathe to put in.

People are right to point out the use of dangerous restraint methods in Music in the context of its impact on the autistic community, but I'm also concerned about how they actually filmed it? Like maybe I'm missing something, idk a lot about filming movies and such, but if they actually did that restraint, doesn't that mean Maddy Ziegler was put in danger?

Sia’s overwhelmingly offensive movie, loads of comedians raising money for an organisation that wants to find a ‘cure’ for autism and now Elon Musk presenting himself as representative of people with ‘Aspergers’- this is really the year of celebrities deciding gang together to fuck over autistic people huh?

“Don’t let your disorder define you”

Okay but do you support the people whose disorders do define them?

Do you support people with the chronic illnesses who have had to develop whole lives around their conditions? Do you support the intellectually disabled people whose whole way of thinking is defined by their disorder? Do you support the people with personality disorders who literally have a disorder as a personality? Do you support the autism/ADHD people whose disorder you can’t separate from who they are? Do you support the DIDOSDD people who have multiple definitions of themselves because of their disorder?

Or are you just saying that because a disorder defining someone means you can’t ignore it.

Using disabled people to make a point is incredibly shitty btw.

Currently watching a video in driver's ed about texting and driving where they get a bunch of people who text and drive and interview them. They then bring in a disabled woman who's family's car was hit by a texting driver. The people all start crying from guilt and promise to never text while driving again.

Understand the point they were trying to make, but is always better way than this. Disability is not fate worse than death. Disabled people are not for making points. We are people.

teaching yourself how to deal with mildly annoying inconveniences is imo an essential part of treating the disabled people around you with compassion and no i'm not kidding

Pinned

Storm was right in what she said to Rogue about the cure and I will fight people on this.

My name is Raven, he/him, I'm 20, and this is my disability blog. I am a multiple disabled person who has a bad job, has not yet learned how to drive, certainly can't live on my own, and I write and reblog posts. Please do not mock the spelling, language, grammar, punctuation, or whatever else of me or anyone I reblog here. This blog will focus mostly on autism and autistic voices, but I'll post about a whole spectrum. Mainly the ones listed below

I have autism, light-moderate support needs, medium moderate support needs when accounting for everything else. Hyperempathy, hypersensitivity to my senses, emotion regulation issues, find it near impossible to understand people when they aren't being up-front about what they mean, need reminders for actions of daily living (including eating) but can do them on my own when reminded. Should not be managing my own money. I am fully verbal, but with a lot of speech disability. I get overwhelmed extremely easily and when that happens, I completely freak out. I also have some kinds of cognitive and developmental disabilities but am not intellectually disabled.

I have a lisp, a permanent slur, trouble pronouncing crunchy consonants or words that start with a vowel (can do it, just takes my mouth a second to work,) and I talk very slowly. There's probably more and I just don't know it. Apparently my speech is so bad that the speech therapist in kindergarten said that there was so much wrong with my speech that it couldn't possibly be fixed. Also often tend to speak without thinking, which I can't really help.

I have severe ADHD, mostly inattentive, dyslexia, dysgraphia, articulatory initiation anomia, dyspraxia, TBI from when I was a baby, migraines (all kinds, including ACM,) sensory processing disorder, chronic daily headache, myofascial pain syndrome, chronic fatigue, anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD, and some other stuff.

Recovering from kleptomania and compulsive lying.

Warning

- I lost a friend to ABA. He's dead because of ABA. There is no ABA positivity here. I will be hating on it.

- I talk about ableism a lot. All posts will be tagged as ableism

- I am transgender

I DO answer both educational and writing questions.

Why “It Was Just a Question” and “It Was Just a Joke” Are Not Defenses For Ableism And Why Your Reaction Is the Most Important Thing

When someone is disabled, neurodiverse, etc people can sometimes ask really ignorant, invasive, or invalidating questions that take emotional labor to answer. And sometimes there is a lot of pressure to answer. This is even worse if it is a joke instead, and the options are to ignore it or say something and risk being yelled at because “it was just a joke, gosh.” Confronting people and setting boundaries gets you called over-sensitive, over-reacting, childish, etc.

I’ll make this clear: it isn’t about your questions or jokes - it is about the assumptions you made when you opened your mouth and the reaction you had when you were corrected.

Let’s Talk About Questions.

I first want to say, I started this blog because I wanted to. You are more free to ask me questions than random blind people on the street. The questions I receive here are also good, researched questions where I can tell someone has read my blog or some articles. I’m not posting to give my followers or anyone else anxiety. The whole point is that these people don’t have an interest in learning, doing any of their own work, or challenging their false beliefs. They want me to endure them and confirm them. I haven’t had to do that here and if I did, it would be easier than in real life because I can choose not to answer a question by deleting it. My followers are also already respectful of and educated on blind people, and so if I have a response that is less than perfectly polite, readers will know why. That is not true outside of this blog.

Now let’s talk about questions and why they can be used in a bad way. What makes a question bad? What is the difference between a genuine and ignorant question? What if you don’t have time to research?

A Bad question here is one that is based on a usually false assumption that prompts a desired answer. An example would be, “Are you really sad that you can’t read?” or “Why would a blind person need a phone when they can’t use it?”

I see a lot of these on tumblr. For example, one blog I followed received an ask that basically said blind people couldn’t be in the orchestra because such and such limitation. These questions have, at best, an obvious assumption along with, at times, a confrontational tone. This person does not want education. They want to defend their belief. A better way to truly ask such a question would be something such as, “I read that people in orchestras and choir have to sight read music. How do blind people navigate this?” No assumption is made about a blind person’s ability. The question is asked in an open manner. The asker has done some research.

Now, in real life, people don’t always preface it with how much research they have done. And let’s be real, it usually isn’t much. But someone asking, “Do you prefer Braille or do you use a computer to read?” shows at least some knowledge. They aren’t trying to put me into a box or use me for confirmation bias. It isn’t so much about getting the perfect wording. It’s about not expecting the blind person to confirm something for you, argue with you, or educate you without you putting in any effort. Even “I was wondering how you do assignments,” is open and allows for my response. If you aren’t able to research in the moment, make your question open or be transparent. To be honest, I feel better about people not doing research in person than online, because being online usually shows you have some time and tools to research. If resources are not available to you and you don’t have the internet for long periods of time, preface your question with that and acknowledge that the person does not have to respond if your question is offensive. Again,it isn’t about getting it 100% right, but truly trying and prioritizing the comfort of the person you are asking.

When I confront people for asking a question with an assumption, I often receive an angry response. The fault is placed on me for not educating people, for not being cooperative, for being mean. This happens whether I answer or not. If I try to explain to someone assuming I can’t read that I, in fact, can read or use a phone or whatever, this is seen as rude or not cooperative. Even confrontational. This person comes away from the conversation now believing blind people are rude and angry. Usually they assume the blind person is jealous of them for being able to see. Which, in that instance, would not be true.

Making assumptions that a person cannot possibly do something because of their disability, especially when you are ignoring what that person says, is ableist. Pointing this out is not attacking you or even, necessarily, judging you. They are not calling you any other name, no matter what else you claim it means to you. (I once had someone claim that when I said the word ableism or ableist she heard the word bitch.)

Let’s Talk About Jokes.

This one is much harder to navigate, especially because blind people often make jokes themselves. However, I want to continue to consider the underlying assumption and judgement some jokes can contain. The joke is usually bad when it contains an ignorant assumption and falls apart when that assumption is corrected.

One example is that picture that often goes around with a person holding a white cane is using a phone. The joke asks what’s wrong with the picture. The problem is not that it’s a joke, as most people assume. The problem is the assumption underneath this particular example, which, by the way, can result in blind people being harassed and even hurt. Read my post here.

But it isn’t even the joke that is the problem. The reaction is. Instead of being accused to attacking someone for an innocent question, someone who points out the problem with a joke or even that it was hurtful, gets someone accused of not having a sense of humor or being mean. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that in real life, not outside of this blog. It is, honestly, too difficult and too uncomfortable.

The reaction people sometimes have is one of defense. They aren’t ableist, it was just a joke, can’t you take a joke?, why are you so serious?, you are ruining the joke, etc. People also assume disabled people can’t tell when someone has made a mistake and when they are genuinely asking a question or trying to call attention to something by making a joke. Disabled people are not trying to take all jokes away. They just want to point out when something is harmful. Doubling down about how that person can’t take a joke is a big problem.

Again, it isn’t that someone made a joke about disabled people. It’s the assumptions inside the joke itself that are harmful. For example, jokes about blind people going to cinemas don’t land because blind people do watch movies. The joke falls apart when you remove the assumption - and not knowing that it was an assumption is part of the problem in the first place.

What Now?

Again, this post was never about not asking questions or not making jokes. It is about ways they can go wrong and how people can make it worse by getting defensive instead of being open to learning and moving on. Everyone makes assumptions or repeats jokes sometimes, and whether or not it becomes an argument is about being open to learning.

Disabled people aren’t out there looking for people to confront. Most of the time, they just want to go about their day or have a nice time with friends. If someone corrects you, no matter the setting, treat it as an opportunity for your growth and to make others feel more comfortable. Listen, apologize, acknowledge your mistake, and change your behavior.

My aim here is not to complain or to make people feel bad or even worry excessively. My goal was simply to share my thoughts on why these things can be a problem and offer suggestions on how to avoid them.

I hope this helps.

-BlindBeta

Note: I provide sensitivity reading for blind characters. See my Pinned Post for information.

A lot of people like to think that people with intellectual disabilities shouldn’t know about adult topics. Or that all of us aren’t able to consent, or that we shouldnt be allowed to be involved with adult topics, events, situations.

So here’s your reminder that yes, people with intellectual disabilities can consent. We can drink alcohol. We can talk about adult topics. We can do all these things.

I would also like to remind people that even though some of us can do these things, there are also some of us with intellectual disabilities who can’t. And that’s ok.