What I Need Narc Abuse Believers To Realize When We Say "narc/npd Abuse Doesn't Exist" Is That We Are

“Don’t let your disorder define you”

Okay but do you support the people whose disorders do define them?

Do you support people with the chronic illnesses who have had to develop whole lives around their conditions? Do you support the intellectually disabled people whose whole way of thinking is defined by their disorder? Do you support the people with personality disorders who literally have a disorder as a personality? Do you support the autism/ADHD people whose disorder you can’t separate from who they are? Do you support the DIDOSDD people who have multiple definitions of themselves because of their disorder?

Or are you just saying that because a disorder defining someone means you can’t ignore it.

My Takes

Consider these

People with personality disorders are not inherently abusive. Yeah, even people with NPD and ASPD (why do I have to say that?) There is no such thing a narcissistic abuse. People with ASPD are not serial killers. They are people, stop putting them down for no reason. People with personality disorders are welcome here. All of them.

Armchair diagnosing is bad. I don't care how shit someone is, if you call them a narcissist, a psychopath, a sociopath, a compulsive/pathological liar, or literally any other disorder that they haven't been professionally diagnosed with, you're a dick. You can't know what's going on in their head. You are not their doctor and are not qualified to diagnose them. And it's just a dick move to diagnose Casey Anthony as someone with a heavily-stigmatized symptom THAT I ALSO HAVE HAD

Stop. Tagging. Your. Writing. With. Disability. Tags. The PTSD tag is nearly unusable because everyone tags their fics as PTSD. Stop it. That space is not for you. It's for us.

People with intellectual, developmental, cognitive, whatever disability deserve to be heard.

As do semispeaking and nonspeaking autistics.

Yes, we do need to listen to caretakers, they're how some people communicate. No one is invalid because they're a caretaker, they're invalid when they're an ableist caretaker.

If the autism "cure" were to exist right now, it would mean eugenics. I don't give a shit if you want it, it would mean eugenics. Society is way too anti-autism for us to trust non-autistics with a cure. I won't get into my rant about the concept of a cure unless asked, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that if that cure is created, it will be forced on people, even those who vehemently oppose it, so it can't exist yet without putting people in danger.

Autism Speaks is shit. So is National Autistic Society. So is the Autism Society. ASAN is on thin fucking ice.

Stop tagging political posts with NPD, ASPD, compulsive liar, or no empathy. You're being ableist and armchair diagnosing. And putting that shit on our feeds.

ABA is bad. Yes, always. All of it. I lost a friend to ABA and I will not budge on this. All pro-ABA people will be blocked, I do not give a shit.

I do not care about syscourse. I am not a system and am not qualified to have an opinion on it.

If you point out typos, grammar mistakes, or whatever when the other person hasn't explicitly said it's okay, stop. You're being ableist.

Stop using TBI as an insult. Yes, I was dropped on my head (okay, I fell, but still,) as a baby. Fuck you too.

This is a safe place for systems and I'm firmly anti-Split.

Autistic and intellectually disabled people are allowed to transition, be queer, get tattoos, drink, have sex, whatever, should they so want.

Mental age is bullshit. He doesn't have the mind of a two-year-old, he has the mind of an adult with IDD.

The posts of disabled people are not an excuse for you to trauma-dump. I don't care what your ex did, that person with NPD wasn't talking about them and it's a dick move to bring that up on their unrelated post.

People should not have to work to live. No one. Ever. Period.

Healthcare should be free

Caretakers need to stop killing their disabled charges

Autism Mommies (TM) are shitty people.

Don't even get me started on Fathering Autism (bitch, you aren't fathering autism, you're fathering ABBY)

Disabled people deserve dignity and privacy. All of them. Yes, even those ones. We're still people. You don't need to know how we go to the toilet.

Fiction does not determine morality and sending people anon hate telling them to kill themselves is a shitty thing.

Telling people to kill themselves in general is a shitty thing. What are you gonna do if they actually do it and you get arrested for manslaughter?

Trans kids deserve to transition, intersex kids deserve to not be mutilated and forced onto HRT when they can't or don't consent, children can and will be queer

Actual sex education needs to be standard

Label policing LGBT+ identities is bad

Devotees and "transableds" are not allowed here

Children and disabled people deserve to exist in public, even if you don't like us

Stop. Saying. Retard. Stop using autistic as an insult. Stop it and go to hell.

I'm pro-choice and I know you don't actually care about fetuses with Down Syndrome, you're just trying to guilt me.

I will reblog with more takes as they occur to me

And, most importantly, listen to ALL disabled voices. All of them. Every single one. We stand together or we don't stand a chance.

Because apparently this needs saying because I haven’t been direct enough about it. Friendly reminder that I’m against harassment, suicide baiting, doxxing, and everything like that. If you think telling people to kill themselves is acceptable, this blog is not for you, I don’t like you and I don’t feel safe around you. My suicidal ass sees that, and no matter the reason, I see someone who thinks suicide is a joke, at best, and at worst, someone who enjoys hurting people.

You are never just hurting the ‘bad’ person that you think has it coming, you’re hurting people who might otherwise agree with you, you’re hurting people who are suicidal, and you’re hurting people who’ve lost someone to suicide.

So again, if you do this crap, do us both a favor and show yourself the door.

give love to people with traumatic brain injury, acquired brain injury, stroke, neurological condition, worsening mental health, trauma, PTSD and all other brain based conditions that make you feel conflicted about your identity. About whether or not you’re the ‘same person’ you were before your injury or illness. People constant evolve and change but can be more difficult when changes more sudden, pronounced, and noticed by others. I hope you are doing well and are able to find some peace, support and love.

　⟢　Compulsive Liar　𓃉

A flag for those who are compulsive liars! This is intended for people with aspd and npd, but it can be used by anyone that it applies to.

　— Requested by anonymous .

Hi there! Can you give any advice on how to write someone becoming disabled through a traumatic injury? The Transition phase particularly, the emotional aspect and things to consider and pay attention to? I've been disabled since birth so my journey is completely different to the one my character will have. And while I went through transition phases too they were never going from being abled to disabled but from my condition worsening over the years. I've done research but I figured maybe you have a mod who'd be willing to share some thoughts on this? Thanks!

Hi, you might find this and this post by Mod Faelan useful! You can also check out our #acquired disability tag :-) (smile emoji)!

Mod Sasza

As someone who is somewhat of a “veteran” of the online ND community, I’m disappointed in the lack of positivity and love for lesser known diverse cognitive conditions, and the opposing abundance of posts about “cures” or outdated criteria or treatments for those conditions. So, without further ado, I want to say hello to anyone with any of the disorders I’m listing, and give them the love and support that hardly anyone else in our community has… Shoutout to:

People with Down syndrome

People with Fragile X

People with William’s syndrome

People with dyslexia

People with dyspraxia

People with dyscalculia

People with dysgraphia

People with Prader-Willi syndrome

People with PANS or PANDAS

People with aphasia

People with a TBI (traumatic brain injury)

People with chronic/early onset mental illnesses

People with cerebral palsy

People with FASD or were otherwise disabled via other substances in utero

And many, many more I may have forgotten to list (but still support and love, I will add more to my list)

You are all beautiful and wonderful, and you all deserve so more love, appreciation, acceptance and support. You are just as neurodiverse as the rest of us, and your voices deserve to be heard and amplified.

I love you all ❤️

Came across a video of a guy showing other wheelchair users how to get up and down escalators in a manual chair, and my God, the comments were just filled with people, or rather 2 very dedicated people yelling "This is SO DANGEROUS!! You should not be showing people how to do this!!! You will never need to do this because everywhere HAS to have lifts!!! Its the law!!!!" Over and over again.

Like tell me you've never gone to a public place with/as a wheelchair user, lol. Even in countries like America that have the ADA and Australia that has the DDA, you aren't garuenteed accessibility. You should be, but the unfortunate reality is that just because it's the law doesn't mean businesses/people will listen.

If I didn't know that escalator trick in uni I'd have probably missed so many classes I'd have had to repeat a year because the lift at the local train station broke at least once a week, and the ones at my local shopping centre I think worked maybe...twice the 3 years I lived there. Like obviously, it should be more accessible and lifts should be available because not everyone can do that trick, but why are you getting mad at disabled people for working with what we've got? Get mad at the people breaking the ADA/DDA, not us.

Disabled people aren't these fragile little flowers, nor are we children that need protecting from ourselves. If we are using the escalator, we can handle it, I promise.

Saw a post and it really got me thinking.

The post was talking about why don’t lower support needs, higher masking individuals even believe that higher support needs, low masking, “severely autistic” people, exist. And that got me really thinking. Because, I do think they know we exist. I just don’t think they want too.

I don’t think they want to know we exist. They know we exist, but keep us on the back burner. They live in ignorance bliss of us. I have what some people would think of as severe autism. Im nonverbal (although nonverbal later in life. But outside people don’t care about that. They see nonverbal as nonverbal), I’m intellectually disabled, need help in everyday life, etc. but I’m in the middle. I’m moderate support needs. To me, I’m not severely autistic. But to society, I am considered and seen as severely autistic because society doesn’t have the understanding of moderate autism yet. They don’t understand it. And I’ve seen more times than I can count that severe autism doesn’t exist. Not because they don’t believe in severe autism the label itself because it’s “harmful” but because they don’t believe that it’s just caused by autism. They often believe that’s it’s caused by comorbidities. Like ID, or cerebral palsy, or apraxia/dyspraxia, or mobility issues, or genetic conditions, and so on. Although none of this is bad.

They believe that autism itself can’t create severe autism. Which…isn’t true. Before, it was believed that severe autism was the only type of autism. That it was the only type that existed and if you weren’t severely autistic then you weren’t autistic. Then more research happened, then social media happened, and now..white, lower support needs, high masking, late diagnosed individuals are the majority of what’s being centered. And, that isn’t bad. We need awareness of all autism. But when one type of autism gets centered, it becomes a problem. It becomes the new norm. It becomes what everyone expects out of autism now. Which, isn’t true. Autism all of all types and traits exists. Autism of all support needs exists.

When people say severe autism doesn’t exist, they’re ignoring and saying that a BIG percentage of autistic people don’t exist. They’re saying that we aren’t real. That we aren’t on the internet, or in the communities they live in, or in their schools, or whatever. We’re everywhere. Severe autism is still a thing. It isn’t a misdiagnosis. It isn’t from comorbities, although if someone’s autism is more severe from comorbidities then that isn’t bad.

I think a lot of people need to be more aware of severe autism. And not just severe autism like me or my mutuals, or the people you see here on tumblr. But the ones with even MORE severe autism. The ones who live in group homes, residentials, institutions, and so on. The ones who aren’t on the internet. The ones who aren’t here blogging about their lives. We need to be aware of them too. We need to believe they exist, and believe that their autism is real.

Don’t erase severe or profound autism.

I want people to understand this.

Nonverbal and nonspeaking people are capable of going into higher education, and many have.

Does this mean every nonspeaking and nonverbal person will go into higher education? No. Lots of nonspeaking and nonverbal people are not able to go into higher education for various of reasons. This however does not mean that every nonspeaking and nonverbal person is unable to go into higher education.

College is something that a lot of people want, including nonspeaking/nonverbal people. If you’re able to, then go for it! If you want to, then go for it!

Nonspeaking/nonverbal people have been kept out of higher education for a very long time, and to see blog posts and articles about nonspeaking/nonverbal people going into higher education, it just makes my heart happy, because I’m not alone. Stop underestimating nonverbal/nonspeaking people. Stop saying we can’t do things. Some of us can’t, and that’s completely ok, but we need to start making it more possible for nonspeaking/nonverbal people to achieve their goals and dreams.