U Survive Literally Every Single Event In Your Life & Still Every Time A New Event Happens You Feel Like

You guys lemme just tell you that my ex girlfriend who cheated on me like three years ago just texted me out of nowhere yesterday and said "hey we're learning about mutually assured destruction in our senior year high school class and just wanted to say that's what being in a relationship with you felt like" and I was emotionally destroyed but damn that was a good one. Will probably use it on someone else later.

reblog if you’re a writer who feels guilt whenever they’re not writing and being productive, so I know I’m not the only one lol

Don't get me wrong I love the fics/comics of Alastor being forced on a date with Vox (either because he needs something, has lost a bet, made a deal etc. wtv the reason) and he's suffering the entire time because Vox could not be any less impressive.

BUT

I haven't once seen a fic with the same plot, only Alastor doesn't want to go out with Vox because the date will be abysmal, but because he KNOWS he'll have the BEST time.

Think about it, we know they were friends before the "sad and complicated" falling out, which means Alastor (who barely stands men in general) must have enjoyed Vox's company so much that he allowed him in his close circle of friends, so close he actually let him take a picture. And no one can convince me that Vox doesn't know Alastor like the back of his hand.

They've spent years together, Vox would absolutely know what Alastor likes and what he doesn't. He would make the date as good as possible if only to irritate Alastor in a "this is what we could have had you fucking idiot" or a "admit that you missed me fool". He will buy him the biggest bouquet of roses imaginable, he will take him to his favorite restaurant in cannibal town (yes, his stalker ass knows which one Alastor’s favorite is), he will intentionally choose topics of conversation he knows Alastor is interested in and avoid any he isn't (*cough cough* modern tech), he puts on that charming gentlemanly attitude Alastor always falls for, he will get that man drunk off his ass and will pull him to the dance floor like he's done countless times before. He KNOWS what to do to make him happy, he's done it for years. The entire night is like one nostalgic walk in the park, it barely takes any effort from Vox. And besides, Vox's entire shtick is ingratiating himself to people and telling them exactly what they want to hear.

And Alastor HAAATES it.

He HATES how pleasant Vox's company is and no matter how hard he's tried to forget their past friendship, he gets swept right back up. No amount of denial or masking his enjoyment can hide it. He doesn't want to go on that date because he doesn't want to forget why they're enemies, he doesn't want to slide all of that pent up resentment under the rug and simply forgive and forget.

(This entire thing is made so much funnier if it's witnessed from a third person's perspective eg. Charlie. This girl is watching Alastor moping and complaining about having to go with the "ridiculous, inane picturebox" on a date like it's the worst thing that's ever happened to him and *proceed twelve hours later*, Alastor and Vox barge through the hotel doors drunk, bloody, missing several pieces of clothing, clutching onto each other for dear life looking like they've had several near death experiences, with the biggest, brightest smiles on both of their faces while they laugh their asses off.(they probably committed mass genocide))

So... me?

my favorite character archetype is “chaotic but also has the audacity to think they’re the voice of reason”

You know what? The Loki fandom scares me. Why? Because half of the shit I've seen is agonizingly beautiful analyses of the episodes, movies, and mythology, but the other half? All these horny ass mfs debating how to remove Loki's leather outfit with their gotdamn teeth. Shit is WILD.

edit: you guys I'm not actually hating I'm in the Loki fandom- (I will not be specifying which half.)

Random tumblr thought

You guys know what I love about tumblr? The fact that there's no dislike button. There's an option to like a post if it makes you giggle. There's a button to reblog a post if it's cute or funny in a way that you want it representing you on your blog. There's an option to unlike a post if you've growm past liking it. There's a way to delete posts if you don't want them representing your blog anymore. You can blaze shit now... whatever the actual hell that means.

There are all of these options for helping content grow and keeping things around that bring you joy, but there's no dislike button. There's no thumbs down, because tumblr understands that the true opposite if love is indifference. If I don't like a post on my dash (I normally do because it's like 70% nondelphic posts at all times but that's not the point) I scroll past it. If a post or user makes me uncomfortable, I just hit the block button. No comfrontation or negativity required. And I just think that's nifty.

I just really love the tumblr app and community for that quality, how I rarely ever see any true negativity going around towards other members or content.

All right, that's it thanks for coming to my ted talk guys.

WHY are titles so hard what the fuck man

the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it's monday and we are getting on it cunts

Say what you will, but there is no fucking thing on this earth worse than caring so acutely, so painfully, about your past with someone who has so clearly left you behind to fucking rot.