I Stand Here, Wrecked By My Own Hands, Caught Between The Person I Was And The One I’m Forced To Be.

I stand here, wrecked by my own hands, caught between the person I was and the one I’m forced to be. God’s gaze is cold, distant. I wasn’t made for this, this body, this life. None of it feels real. It’s a cage I didn’t ask for, a skin that never belonged to me. I look at myself, but I don’t recognize the person staring back. My face, my eyes, hollow and empty. I wonder if God makes mistakes or if I’m just part of some cruel design. A soul condemned before it had a chance.

Everything feels wrong, and yet, nothing feels real enough to care. My body is a prison, a place I don’t belong. I scream inside for someone to hear, but there’s only silence, like I’m trapped in a place that won’t let me go.

I pray, but I don’t believe. I’m not worthy of mercy. I never asked for this life, and yet here I am, broken, rotting under the weight of something I never chose. And still, I keep going, dragging myself through the motions, because what else can I do?

But the truth is, I don’t think I was meant to be. This flesh, this life, it was never mine to control, never mine to fix. I was never meant to be whole, and maybe I never will be.

Tags

ramble religious trauma gender dysphoria

More Posts from Theunfrgiv3n and Others

theunfrgiv3n

3 weeks ago

PHIL AND DIMEBAGGGG AMBATAKUMMM,,, i have another phil/dime fic idea, might post this week as well. Now, real freaky pantera yaoi bellow

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Phil Anselmo/Dimebag Darrell

Summary:

After Phil loses a fight in a bar, him and Dime head back to Dime's place to patch up and cool off. After a little talk, the sight of blood on Phil's face is a real turn on for Dime, and one thing leads to another and they end up getting caught fucking in the kitchen by Vinnie.

1990

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65984050

Tags

fanfic smut writing pantera phil anselmo dimebag darrell pantera fanfic

1 note View Post

theunfrgiv3n

3 months ago

PLS DO I LOVE SEEING PPL’S SHRINES

. ݁₊ 🦢 . ݁˖

Let me introduce you my small shrine of David, which is composed of him and only him…

I love him sm, I can’t wait to get more magazines and posters ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜ . He’s my favorite musician ever, I really hope to see him again and I’m praying to meet him ughhh…

Tags

ramble david ellefson

28 notes View Post

theunfrgiv3n

2 months ago

I finally posted some smut, IT'S PANTERA RRAAAHHH, I recently started hyperfixating on them and I couldn't let go of this gold oportunity to write some doomed yaoi.

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Phil Anselmo/Dimebag Darrel

Summary:

Dime flopped down on the bed next to him, half on his stomach, head turned sideways as he lit what was probably their fifth joint since the encore. He took a slow drag and exhaled toward the ceiling. “Y’know... I give a mean back massage.”

1998

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64708957

Tags

fanfic smut writing ao3 writer ao3 fanfic ao3 link pantera phil anselmo dimebag darrell pantera fanfic

3 notes View Post

theunfrgiv3n

3 months ago

This era has an iron grip on me

Tags

edit so yummy megadeth david ellefson david ellefson edit megadeth edit

14 notes View Post

theunfrgiv3n

7 months ago

🍁 ⏜ ۫ . ⟡

Tags

aesthetic my edit edit metalhead megadeth david ellefson david ellefson edit megadeth edit

31 notes View Post

theunfrgiv3n

2 months ago

I have this urge to delete all my fics and start over, I hate my works so much bro

Tags

ramble

6 notes View Post

theunfrgiv3n

3 months ago

. ݁₊ 🦢 . ݁˖

Let me introduce you my small shrine of David, which is composed of him and only him…

I love him sm, I can’t wait to get more magazines and posters ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜ . He’s my favorite musician ever, I really hope to see him again and I’m praying to meet him ughhh…