Been Playing Botw Lately

hideo game

The ink bottle lying on your desk... begins to crawl away..???

If you fall for a social media prank, do you reblog/pass it on to your followers?

It is 1880s America, you are about to spawn as a Historically Significant White Guy. Choose a class:

TROUBLEMAKING FRONTIER PREACHER

Special Power: Good Christian. Your vague adherence to American protestantism will ensure that law enforcement does not bother you whatsoever.

Victory condition: Fuck enough of your followers wives to start an inbred theofascist micronation.

MANICALLY AMBITIOUS CON ARTIST

Special Power: Basic Literacy. You're poor, but you know how to read. They'll never expect it. You may forge literally any document and it will be believed 100% of the time.

Victory Condition: Steal enough money to fuck off to Latin America. A Spanish speaking nation might as well be the moon to your debtors.

EUROPEAN NOBLE FAILSON

Special Power: Colonial Wealth. Your funny accent, foppish dress, and noble title, will make any American think you are totally good to buy it on credit.

Victory Condition: Become the boytoy to the wife of some borderline-gangster politician and save up enough political capital to run for office and get addicted to opium.

DOOMED FRONTIER EXPLORER

Special Power: How The Fuck Are You Alive. Your freakish diet of pork, whiskey, and maple syrup, makes you entirely immune to all physical injury and disease. Somehow.

Victory Condition: You have one mission, and one mission only. You need to piss off some completely friendly natives. You need to piss them off so bad they leave your stupid ass to starve in a food forest they've been cultivating for literally thousands of years.

Being alive is mostly about being insanely passionate about something nobody else on earth cares about. Then you find the other person who cares about it

goblin mode

Reblogging things I like feels a lot more goblinesque than upvoting ever did. The upvotes felt like "hmm yes, I approve *golf claps*" while reblogging feels like furtively staring at something before shoving it in your mouth and scurrying back underneath the nearest piece of furniture.

Which isn't to say that I don't like it. But I definitely find myself going "maybe I shouldn't reblog this because I've already reblogged a bunch of things today and I don't want to look like I don't have a life," I say as I close the app and reopen it like one of those little automatic box toys with the switches.