Thisuserisyou - I Am Not You

trans people should not have to sacrifice their comfort to appeal to cis people

One thing I enjoy most about teaching is how children react to me after they’ve been angry.

I’ve been pinched, punched, kicked, choked, scratched, screamed at, been the target of flying projectiles, anything you can imagine, I’ve probably had it happen to me.

Yet when it’s all over, 90% of kids who flipped out will hug me or apologize.

Usually, I address the angry child calmly, even if my inner fight or flight is kicking in. I can’t show the child’s behavior is okay. Yelling and screaming are not how they’re going to get what they want, so it’s not how I’m going to get what I want.

I wait until they’re done expressing their anger, whether it be directed at me or an inanimate object. I keep repeating the phrases “Are you done yet?” and “Feel better yet?” and wait until they’re calm enough to respond.

That’s when it’s time for discipline. 

Usually, discipline for me just means I sit down and talk them through what happened. It’s telling them “yes, you’re allowed to be angry, but hurting people is never a good reason unless you or someone else is being hurt.”  Then I explain that if this happens again, the same thing is going to happen. They’re not going to get what they want. They’re going to get a chill out until their anger subsides. 

Then I ask “What can we do differently next time?” If the child doesn’t have an answer, I’ll give them suggestions like “kick a ball” or “run as fast as you can” or “scribble on paper until they feel better” or “sit by yourself until the anger goes away” and usually it’s met with the child suggesting their own ideas. 

I’ve actually had kids put themselves on chill out chairs because they’re about to flip out. There’s a personal pride that comes from that. Seeing a 4 or 5-year-old recognize destructive behavior and take steps to fix it themselves is an intelligence level most adults fail to have.

At no time do I tell them their anger is wrong. I tell them their behavior is wrong. Being angry is a part of our humanity, but hurting others because we’re angry is dangerous territory. 

I never make them say sorry, either. I don’t want them to if they don’t mean it. Some kids are taught saying sorry makes the problem go away, and I don’t agree with that. I’d rather they show me they’re sorry, such as doing better next time or stopping the behavior altogether.

Some people might argue I’m being too soft, but when you have a child tell you they don’t see you as an adult because you don’t yell at them, it’s a comforting but sad notion that you’re doing the right thing.

-Cat

Describing some of my favorite cartoons to make them sound as weird and awful as possible:

Steven Universe: A teenage boy is his own mom and inherits her war crimes that he knows nothing about. Everyone sings.

The Dragon Prince: Some prince boys run away from home with the most terrible assassin ever. Everything changed when the Night Elves attacked, but I believe magical pets can save the world. Avatar: The Last Airbender Easter eggs everywhere.

Carmen Sandeigo (2019): Let’s commit crimes but we’re not the bad guys but we’re not gonna tell the good guys that we’re not bad guys. A teenage boy we’ve never met is responsible for everything. Good thing his parents let him sit in his room with computer screens 24/7. Let’s also learn geography!

Star vs. the Forces of Evil: A magical princess likes to fight monsters but oh no maybe the real monsters are the government

Miraculous Ladybug: Do you like people who clearly communicate to avoid unnecessary conflict and a plot that makes sense? This show is not for you. After twenty-something episodes, you might finally get an origin story. Santa Claus dabs in the musical Christmas special.

Gravity Falls: Some twins move to Oregon for the summer and everything is spooky. The series is full of mysteries not only for the characters to solve, but for the hardcore fandom to solve while looking absolutely insane to everyone else. The bad guy is the Illuminati.

Sofia the First: A peasant girl becomes a princess when her mom marries the king. To cope with her new life, she gets a magical amulet that gives her superpowers for every nice thing she does. She is a very nice person. She gains a lot of magical powers. By the end of the show, she might as well be a goddess. Also, let’s ride dragons with Rapunzel.

Trollhunters: Jim finds a magical amulet. But unlike Sofia the First, it only causes him suffering. Just your average high school superhero troupe; tryin’ to stop your history teacher from dating your mom/killing you/bringing about the end of the world. Pick up chicks by doing Shakespeare.

3Below: The town of Arcadia had’t gone through enough already. Trollhunters: aliens edition.

Voltron: Legendary Defender: The universe is in trouble so obviously we gotta depend on teenagers in giant robot lions. Queerbait and disappointment for everyone no matter what you were hoping for. If you make it to the end of the show, I‘m sorry.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power: A bad guy finds a magical sword so she’s a good guy princess now. Defeat evil with the power of rainbows. Do not assume that anyone in this show is straight.

Tangled: the Series: Rapunzel is the first Disney princess to be partially responsible for one of her friend’s parent’s deaths, be possessed by a demon(?), and openly explicitly suffer from PTSD. Broadway stars sing original music from Alan Menkin while anime fight scenes go on. The plot is about rocks.

Ducktales: A cranky, immortal billionaire adopts some children. Everyone is a duck. Is mom dead or nah?

Luz may not know that Amity likes her, but she does know that she likes someone. And she seems curious about it, invested even, which makes sense given her love of romance novels. I can't imagine that this will go away any time soon.

I'm thinking that in the future, Luz might try to push Amity to confess to her crush, and assure her that they'd be lucky to have her, and Amity will be like "Is... is my crush shipping me with... herself??? Without realising it? IDK what to feel right now...".

i’m obsessed with this scene

Holstin is a stylish pixel art survival horror adventure where twisted monsters and a wretched slime has corrupted a 90’s Polish town!

Read More & Sign Up For The Beta (Steam)

hhi i like carmen here are some initial thoughts 

“The music fits quite nicely for this little guy”

(Source)

the main boys.

what's dekubowl

something kinda like this