Somebody Needs To Write It So It Might As Well Be Me

Somebody probably said it already, but I need Alpine in the watchtower.

Bucky: that is his baby and she will wake him up at 4 am if she is hungry

John: why is there cat hair EVERYWHERE?! (Still gives her snacks when he cooks)

Yelena: pets Alpin mindlessly while working and picks the cat up as soon as she enters the room

Ava: talks to Alpine, who seems to be listening in exchange for snacks and will get the cat out of the kitchen, before she jumps on the counter

Bob: cuddles the cat to death while he reads but she likes it

Alexei: doesn’t know that there is a cat in the watchtower and thinks the place is haunted

Steve would absolutely be down to play D&D with Hellfire. The only condition is that he gets to be whatever character he wants (with Eddie's help crafting the sheet, of course), and Eddie is so completely enamoured and excited that he agrees wholeheartedly.

Turns out, Steve didn't really understand the concept of fantasy characters and assumed that it included all kinds of fantasies. Elves, Dwarves, Mages.

And naturally the lineup of Steve's 1987 Fantasy Basketball League.

The rest of Hellfire is ultimately accepting of it, and even gets into the character as time goes on. But those first few sessions were confusing as hell. Especially because they weren't quite sure what to think when Steve's only supplies and weapons included sports bars, tiny shorts, and a basketball.

Eddie though?

Eddie's been having a goddamn field day with the chaos his beloved hath wrought.

"Alright Steve. Roll to attack."

Steve rolls and lights up. "Eighteen!"

The other players cheer.

"Good luck," said Will sullenly after his magic missile failed to take the villain down. In fact, so far, nearly every attack from each member had failed to do enough damage to even make a dent.

Eddie writes down a note behind his DM shield. "Alright so the ghost approaches you. What are you..." He pauses. "Wait. Sorry what's your name again?"

"Larry Bird," says Steve helpfully.

"Right. What are you, Larry Bird, going to do to the Ghost?"

"I'm going to dribble across the enchanted bridge and hit him with a hook shot."

"This is the weirdest thing we've ever done..." Dustin whispers.

He's shushed by everyone else who has become absolutely invested in the fate of their resident Point Guard Paladin.

(the best part is that the end of the campaign in what was meant to be a difficult and long battle, in which almost every single Hellfire character dies a gruesome death, Steve effectively ends it by rolling a single D20 and dunking a zombie's head into the Boss' face.

Hellfire is elated but isn't sure how to explain to future Hellfire members that a kill shot was once carried out by the small forward of the Boston Celtics.)

One of my friends thought the main character in my book was 40 until he mentioned that he was 23 and I have never been more proud of myself. Yes, Percy, my awkward, bread baking, hart working boy, in your heart you are a 40 Year old who just wants peace

Couples that loot corpses together stay together

I am debating with myself anyway. Might as well make use of it

"How do you write such realistic dialogue-" I TALK TO MYSELF. I TALK TO MYSELF AND I PRETEND I AM THE ONE SAYING THE LINE. LIKE SANITY IS SLOWLY SLIPPING FROM BETWEEN MY FINGERS WITH EVERY MEASLY WORD THEY TYPE OUT. THAT IS HOW.

your honor, he was just pranking

Montjuic cemetery in Barcelona

if you ever wonder if i’m thinking about you, the answer is no. i’m thinking about gay knights kissing