WERE SO BACK

JUST WOKE UP I WAS GONNA WATCH GOOD MYTHICAL MORNING THEN BOOM MIRADOR INTERVIEW

grinding on my best friend in a totally straight way

OH HE'S EVIL

"I hope you left your souls at the door....cause if you didn't, we'll probably take them with us tonight"

Jacob Thomas Kiszka, Sir. What the actual fuck!

@jakeyt @tripthelightfandomtastic @edgingthedarkness @hailthegodsong @jakekiszkadaily @jakescaravel @gretavangroupie @triponthelight @jakeysbuttsheeks @gvfreak

Did y'all hear and see this?

OH MY GODS??

cosmic kiss

alien!josh kiszka x female!reader

a/n: if this fic is familiar to you that is because i wrote it last year during spooky season & posted it to my old blog, stardustschords. i’ve added to it a bit and now i’m reposting. my best friend @alwayzthere helped me with the ideas here last year when i wrote this. PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS.

warnings: explicit sexual content, 18+. in this fic, josh is an extra-terrestrial being. all parties are consenting. josh has magic hands and an even more magical tongue. (i have added a disclaimer to the end in case the “plot twist” doesn’t make sense.)

tags: pls let me know if you’d like to be added or removed. @alwayzthere @strangersingold @garbagevanfleet @harmonyhous @obetrolncocktails @godlygreta @gardenvanfleet @singingmangoes @tripthelight-fanfic @theweightofstardust @teddiie @gretavanfleas @brokenbellz @jordierama

“aliens aren’t fucking real, daniel. you’re ridiculous. the fact that you drug me out into this cornfield in the middle of the night is bullshit!” you spew, angry that you’d once again agreed to danny’s shenanigans. apparently sam was unavailable, so daniel forced you to accompany him on his overnight attempt at proving aliens did, in fact, exist.

“i brought blankets and snacks!” he says, flashing you a warm smile, but you didn’t reciprocate. “it’s cold as fuck out here danny, this is so dumb.” you chide, smacking him lightly on the shoulder. you watch as he pulls out some filming equipment, and he giggles as you ask where he got it from. “i borrowed it from the twins.” he goes on to explain to you that cell phone cameras are less likely to capture paranormal or extra-terrestrial activity, so it’s better to use film cameras or disposable.

the twins were sam’s older brothers. jake was the younger twin, by five minutes, which josh made known every chance he got, and he was talented and musical and just fun to be around. josh, however… was a different story. to say you had it bad for josh was an understatement. he was theatrical, loud, and he carried himself with such a lovely, confident air. any time you saw his smile you swore you could take off in flight. you’d told daniel about your crush, but you could never tell sam, because you knew he’d rat you out.

you scoffed at daniel, scolding him for borrowing their equipment for such an idiotic idea. he shook his head at you before going back to setting up.

when he was done he helped you lay out the blanket, and you just sat with him for a while and talked. “danny, this is dumb. can we go home?” you question, but he shakes his head no. “we have to wait! i know aliens are real and i saw online that tonight was the perfect night. just be patient, y/n.”

“this is like when linus spent all night waiting for the great pumpkin.”

☆☆☆

you tried to be patient, but you fell asleep. you were convinced you’d been having some strange dream until you opened your eyes to a solid white room, and your body strapped to a very cold metal table. you blinked your eyes rapidly, unsure of what was going on, and you saw two people standing over in the corner.

in your dream, you remembered a bright light droning down upon you and danny, but after that, everything went black. the people in the corner walked over to you, and you noticed a strange looking woman and…. josh?

you looked over at him and he smiled at you, and all you could do was cry. “please let me up from this table, josh. this isn’t funny. you guys got your halloween prank.”

you saw the woman next to him, who had the strangest eyes you’d ever seen, jotting your every word down on to a notepad. “hello, young one,” josh stated, reaching out to wrap a strand of your hair around his finger, “i am not your friend josh. we are extraterrestrials, and i have taken the form of that whom you most desire.”

tears began to flow even more as you realized that danny HAD told josh of your crush. he looked over at the woman, who you’d assumed he’d hired on for the act, and made a face at her, to which she continued to write. “look, i know this is funny to you guys. i’m sure you probably hired all these people that you knew from your acting and had them help you set all this up, but josh, i’m begging you. please let me go home.”

“listen, pet. i’m sorry that this is confusing for you. since you don’t believe me, i can show you if you’d like.” he speaks, his tone soft and endearing. you shake your head yes at him, and he slowly reaches out to trace a finger up your arm. the moment his digit traced your skin, you felt vibrations begin to flow through you, and the place where he touched you began to glow iridescent.

you stare at him with a bewildered look, but he just flashes you that beautiful smile. “i know this is confusing, and you can still call me josh if you’d like.” you aren’t sure what to say, so you keep quiet. he turns to the woman and nods once and she exits the room. once she’s gone, josh unhooks you from the few wires attached to your forearms and lets the straps binding you to the table loose.

you rub your arms to soothe where the restraints had been and you looked over to josh - the alien - to see what he’d say next. you sat up from the table and glanced around the room. he smiled at you before reaching out and tucking your hair behind your ear. “would you like to know why you’re here?” he asked, and you shook your head yes. you still only half believed this was happening. “i’m very interested in human-kind… and their carnal desires. because i can take the shape of your greatest desire, i’d like to know the reactions you’d give to him if he were to touch you. does that make sense?”

“not really,” you respond, “i still don’t really believe you. this is so weird.” he lets out a soft laugh and runs a hand along your arm, sending shockwaves through you. “you should trust in me, pet. i won’t hurt you” he says, leaning in to you to smell your hair. he places a soft kiss to your ear before asking, “is this okay? may i touch you?”

you nod your head yes and so he reaches down to wrap his hand around your wrist before squeezing it. you can feel the vibrations running up your arm again, matching your heartbeat and creating a deep thrum through your chest. his other hand glides along your jawline, cupping it, and he pulls his face away from your hair to make eye contact with you. before you can register what you’re doing, you grab him by the back of the head and kiss him, your lips meeting ungraciously.

you feel him laugh into your mouth before indulging you for a short moment. his lips are soft and pink and taste vaguely of strawberry, and though it may not be the real josh, you feel drunk from his kiss. he pulls away after a minute or so, and you can feel heat rise to your cheeks as you await his reaction. “i see you’re quite impulsive” he says, rubbing his hands up both your arms. you let a soft laugh fall from your lips before telling him, “i’d never have the guts to do that to the real josh.”

he stares at you for a moment before asking if he can continue, and you tell him yes. he leans back into you, pressing kisses to your jaw, and slowly starts to work his way down your neck. he skirts his fingers just below the hem of your shirt, and suddenly, you feel bold once again. you grab the thin material and whip it over your head, tossing it down to the floor. his eyes widen for a moment as he notices your lace bralette, but then he reaches a hand out to cup your breast over it.

he gradually begins to trail kisses down your neck and into the valley of your breasts before he slips a hand under the bralette and works it over your head himself. you let him take it off you and he throws it down to meet your shirt, and then trails even more kisses over your newly exposed flesh. you arch forward into his touch and you hear him hum in satisfaction as he latches his mouth around one of your nipples. the feeling of his mouth on you with the added vibration that you’re given from his touch is making your brain cloud, and you close your eyes so as not to get dizzy. he pulls away from you softly to ask you to look at him, and you try your best to keep your eyes open.

once he’s satisfied with the work he’s done on your chest, he continues down your stomach, dropping to his knees on the floor. he looks up at you through his eyelashes and you feel your heart melt, until he asks you, “may i taste you?”

you don’t think that you can ever speak again, much less answer his question with a single word, so you just nod your head yes and lean back slightly on the table. he slowly pulls your pants and underwear down your legs, and then he helps you position yourself so that your knees are bent and your feet are flat on the cool metal. he leans into you slowly, pressing kisses to your thighs, and then slowly begins to roll your clit with his tongue. you make eye contact with him and he takes it as encouragement to continue, and you mewl as you feel his strong hands wrap around your thighs to hold you closer to him.

at first when you feel his tongue prodding at your hole, you jump, but then your body melts into him as a wave of euphoria washes over you. at first it feels gentle, as it would if you were being eaten out by a normal human… but then it changes. you can feel the muscle begin to grow thicker and longer inside of you, and josh curls it upward to press into your g-spot. his grip on your thighs changes as he begins to radiate vibration back into you, and you’re sure the noises leaving your body are other-wordly.

you stare down at him, his face pressed into you, and you think you’re going to black out when he flashes you a wink. his tongue is so deep inside of you that you can feel it hitting your cervix, and you struggle against his grasp as you try to push yourself farther down onto him, if at all possible. you feel him laugh against you and the added vibration of his voice almost knocks you over the edge. every languid movement he makes inside of you pushes you closer and closer to your impending orgasm, but just before you cum, he stops. he moves his face away from you and stands, and you almost begin to sob from the loss of contact. “it’s okay, don’t cry,” he says softly, leaning back into your neck and kissing you, “we aren’t done. i just want to feel you cum around me, that’s all.”

he begins to suck and bite at your neck slowly, painting the skin with pink and purple marks. you’ll be glad to reminisce over those for the next few days. you grab his shoulders and push him backwards slightly before gripping your fingers into his hair and pulling him towards you, your mouth meeting his clavicle. you bite into it gently, because if you get marks so does he, alien or not. he moves slightly to lift his shirt over his head and you blush realizing that you’re completely exposed to him while he’s been fully clothed.

you watch him as he tugs his pants down his legs, following with his underwear. his cock springs upward against his abdomen and you find yourself blushing at the sight of it. it’s beautiful, like him, and you wonder if that’s what josh ACTUALLY looks like naked. as if he can read your mind, he hooks a finger under your chin and whispers, “what you’re seeing is what you get, baby.”

you lean back a little farther on the table and he places himself between your legs, slowly inching his cock towards you. you whimper as you feel him slide it through your folds and tap it against your clit. once he’s done teasing he pushes into the hilt, and the feeling of him buried inside you is almost enough to make you cum right then. he begins to rock himself in and out of you slowly, and you grab onto his hands and squeeze them hard. you’ve never been made to feel this way before, and your body isn’t sure how to react.

every inch of your body is slowly being coated with pleasure, and every movement from josh is a driving force tipping you over the ledge. “cum for me, it’s okay” he assures you, and you can feel yourself slipping after only a few moments of him fucking you. it doesn’t take long for him to cum either, his body working over yours with soft grunts and pants. once he’s finished he pulls out, and then sweetly helps you clean up before you slip into unconsciousness.

☆☆☆

your body jolts awake suddenly, and after rubbing your eyes a few times you realize you’re in daniel’s room. you look over to the floor and see a pile of blankets there, so you assume that’s where he slept. he walks casually through the door, scrunching his hair with a towel, and smiles at you.

“did you sleep okay?” he questions, and you give him a strange look. “i had this crazy ass dream, actually. how’d we get back here?”

he tells you that he got bored after you dozed off and decided the trip was dumb, so he helped you into the car and you just came back and crashed at his place. you nod, your focus still lingering on the dream you’d just had. “go get cleaned up,” he says, tossing you a hoodie, “we’re picking the kiszka’s up and going to breakfast.”

you walk down the hall to his bathroom and inspect yourself in the mirror, sucking in a sharp gasp when you see your neck littered with marks… so you hadn’t been dreaming all along. you wash up and change your clothes before meeting danny outside, slipping into the front passenger seat next to him. he makes the short drive to the boys apartment, and you laugh as you see them stroll outside.

jake hops in behind you, wishing you a good morning and giving you a soft smile before smirking at the marks you’ve got on your throat. josh clambers into the car next, scooting himself into the middle seat. he says nothing, but he has a playful grin on his face. next comes sam, and as he gets in the car he curses and tells josh to “scoot the fuck over.”

josh doesn’t oblige, but you can tell they’ve been bickering all morning because jake seems to have had enough. he grabs josh by the collar of his shirt and yanks him closer to his side, and your breath hitches in your throat as his left clavicle is exposed to you. a bite mark in the shape of your mouth is forming there, deep and purple.

josh doesn’t say a word, but he meets your gaze in the rearview before winking at you, and then sticking out his tongue tauntingly.

•••

disclaimer: josh was an alien the whole time. lived an entire life on earth as an alien. he probably is one in real life. who’s to say?

CHRIS MOTHERFUCKING TURPIN IS SO FINE YALL DONT GET ITTTT

one of my fave josh things is how he went from being like "oh haha yeah i can be a bit of a diva if things dont go my way" in interviews to being like Good Morning Diva Nation, Commander Cunt Reporting For Today's Divadown in every post he makes

god I wish I was a harmonica

Oh my god I need him

wtf slow burn friends to lovers 80 chapter yaoi is this

Aw🤗 x

shit jr.

copyrighting neon dream as we speak

josh in a weighted throw net

based on @ofthecaravel tiny van fleet 🫶