Tyleno1

By Johnny Dufort For Vogue Italia January 2021

stealing this from twitter

i was referred to as an epileptic by a doctor for the first time yesterday. even after having the tonic-clonic seizure in february and my eeg showing epileptiform discharges, the most my neurologist will say is that i *may* have a “tendency towards epileptic seizures”. he won’t say i have epilepsy. he had been blowing me off for a year, saying my focal seizures were probably “near syncope”, or a “weird migraine”. it’s finally gotten to the point where he can’t dispute my epilepsy anymore, but he still finds a way to phrase in such a way where he doesn’t have to admit he was negligent. i told my new rheumatologist about my history with seizures, and she looked over my eeg. she said i should be medicated for epilepsy. but my neurologist will not put me on medication until i have another tonic-clonic seizure, and unfortunately it’s not really her decision. i told her that my neurologist said that eeg’s can show epileptiform discharges in 1% of the non epileptic population. she laughed and said “you’re epileptic, sweetheart”. it was such a throw away statement for her, but it meant so much to me. this is one of the first times my seizures have been taken seriously. i think things r finally looking up

my mum came out to me as bi yesterday lol

haters will try to convince you that theres only two months left of 2022 but really we are still in 2019 in every way that matters.  2023 means nothing to me

I hate to break it to the girls who think being skinny with their eating disorder is going have pro's.

You will not do things without running out of breath. In fact, you'll be even more out of breath doing simple activities because you are so weak. I had times where I couldn't make it through the grocery store without heavy breathing and faintness.

You won't be the skinny friend. You'll be the old friend who isolated themselves after lashing out on everyone you love. I mean seriously, the anger and irritability that comes with having an ed is unmatched.

You definitely won't be happier once you reach your ugw. You'll be the unhappiest you've ever been, wondering why you look so fat when you're 30 pounds underweight. It never stops. There is no ugw.

You won't look better in clothes. You'll think you're still too fat to be wearing those crop tops and dainty tanks. If anything, you'll be fighting heat stroke in your 4 baggy layers on a summer day.

And that brings me to my next point. You will be so cold. Absolutely freezing even in 100f weather. The cold never stops. And your hairy, like thick, dark, never ending hair. If you think you're hairy now, even more will grow.

And your breath. Dear god, I can still remember how rotted my breath was. No amount of toothpaste, mints, or mouthwash would get rid of it. And not to mention, the cavities you'll continue to get even well after you're recovered — if you're lucky enough to recover.

There is so much permanent damage that an ed will leave you with. Your kidneys will be damaged, your teeth, gums, eyes, hair, skin, heart, lungs, intestines, liver, pancreas, literally every organ in your body is permanently damage in one way or another.

The list can go on, there are so many side effects that you won't know until it's too late. There are so many romanticized aspects of an ed that will never be true.

Point is, you won't be happy. You won't be skinny. You won't be healthy. You'll be an angry shell of the person you used to be, rotting from the inside out. You'll be selfish, only caring about what you can eat, when you can eat, and how you can burn it off.