I Started A Productivity Challenge For Myself A Few Days Ago....I Was Barely Conpleting It. Only Able

I started a productivity challenge for myself a few days ago....I was barely conpleting it. Only able to tick off 1 item off my to do list. I was still procrastinating watching tv shows, reading fanfictions, daydreaming. I still started this challenge of productivity, I was falsely trying to convince myself that I'll make it, that atleast I started with baby steps such as thinking about this, then posting the first 3 days of it on tumblr. But the real reason that I did this was because I was afraid I was gonna fail my physics exam. This was the fear inside me that I was trying to hide from myself and the people around me. And that is exactly what happened to me, I failed my physics exam and you wanna know the worst part? I kind of don't really care. And my parents didn't care either. Not in the way that you're thinking but last year in 10th grade, I was always being pushed to do best and my mom did so much for me, she used to teach me but since 11th I've heard it from so many people that 11th goes bad for every pcm kid and everyone suffers a downfall from 10th to 11th. But I literally failed. I went from getting atleast 95% to not even passing. That's how low I have fallen and i haven't cried yet. I feel like since I've been exposed to too many people saying that bad grades are literally a cannon event in 11th, I've grown numb to getting low score. Even though I'm realising this and writing it out, I'm still not feeling the sadness and the determination I know I would have felt in 10th and this is so sad. It is so disheartening. And tbh I'm clueless on how to study now. I have 2 days for the retest. A part of me is still sad about the indifference and the lack of emotion I'm showing regarding this.

More Posts from U-wont-guess-who and Others

1 week ago

If you hang out with a…

Disciplined person, you’ll start respecting structure

Insecure person, you’ll start second-guessing yourself

Adventurous person, you’ll crave new experiences

Victim minded person, you’ll start blaming instead of growing

Abundant person, you’ll stop thinking in limits

Jealous person, you’ll start resenting your blessings

High value woman, you’ll raise your standards without apologo

Chaotic person, you’ll feel like peace is boring

Healed person, you’ll see how emotionally mature life can be

Procrastinator, you’ll normalize delay over progress

Ambitious person, you’ll start dreaming bigger

Judgmental person, you’ll fear being fully yourself

Playful person, you’ll learn to soften and enjoy the moment

Energy is contagious

Habits are contagious

Mindsets are contagious

Doesn’t matter how x you think you are because if you were, you wouldn’t make decisions or choose people that don’t align

You become who you’re around even when you don’t notice it

2 months ago

Not to get too deep on my first post but did anyone else have such deeply rooted issues with their self worth for so long that they thought as a teen that their only redeeming feature was being "low maintenance" and now you give yourself guilt pangs asking for any more than the barest minimum in virtually any relationship because asking for things might negate your good quality which is" doesn't ask for things"


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1 week ago

Be scared and do it anyway. Be unqualified and get in the room anyway. Be messy, imperfect and unsure and still show up anyway. Comfort is the enemy of growth. Get uncomfortable


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1 month ago

My mother is a bitch....She judges my worth according to my marks. I love her but she's is the most negative and irrational person. sometimes I wish that she wasn't my mother.....honestly I am glad my mindset is good because of reading books otherwise I would have definitely been depressed and suicidal. according to her "mai eek boj hoon family pr "


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1 week ago

At this point I'm not sure whether my mindset is good or not because no person should be this sad and lonely and depressed

4 days ago

If you're friends with a judgemental person you'll truly fear being yourself...

I read this in a tumblr post and I can relate to this. My friend was so smart(she still is) she was good at studies and at playing piano and whenever I used to go with her to learn to play piano I used to feel so inferior because she used to judge me unashamedly infront of me and laugh at the smallest of my mistakes. She was my best friend and I could never connect with her on a personal level. Never. she had confessed many things to me and i had always helped her but i never really confessed any of my fear or my core problems . I really felt inferior subtly always and when it used to be very profound I used to fight back but it always used to go to the previous way of her always making me feel subtly inferior .

Today she ignored me cuz I spent time with one of my other friend instead of her and honestly even though her advices were great and that she was smart I am just done going back to her and give her reasons on why I spent time with that friend instead of her.

Like we were friends no not just friends but best friends for 3 years but I can not just let her lord over me. I am already trying to cope up with my increasing backlogs . I really don't want to deal with her. If she wants to ignore then it's fine I'm ignoring her back. I don't have to deal with her it's my choice.

I know I'll miss her but I'll never regret this decision cuz she cant manipulate me by ignoring me and I know even if I still go back to her I'll feel inferior to her and I dont want to experience that.

1 week ago

🫡

you don’t have to wait until you hit rock bottom to start over or decide it’s time to improve

3 weeks ago

I cried today :( I dont get why my mother has to shout shrilly at me when she knows I'm in a hurry and things are not going through a schedule. I was booking a cab today and she is shouting at me for taking so long to book a cab when I do it every week. She is making it out as my fault . It's not my fault your phone is so dumb and always hanging and crashing and not working when I want it to work at the crucial moment . I also know its been 30 minutes already no need to come and shout at the freaking top of your lungs . Like bitch you made me cry. If you dont wanna contribute to anything nice in my life then why you need to come and shout and make me cry.


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1 month ago

Is it weird that I can categorize my life into phases of fandom


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4 days ago

I cried yesterday sitting on my bathroom floor and I almost had anxiety attack (idk I felt so anxious and frustered and almost cried and my chest was feeling tight) when my best friend ignored and slightly humiliated me and I cried while writing the previous post.

I just hope I'm not in depression cuz I dont want to be in depression. I truly want to correct my life and i promise that I start with my studies.

I promise myself that there will be a day when I'll be content and there would be no sadness in my mind.

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