The Clone War Was Obviously A Very Stressful Time For Most Beings In The Galaxy. Most Of All, The Clones

The Clone War was obviously a very stressful time for most beings in the galaxy. Most of all, the clones - and the last thing any jedi wants on their hands is a bunch of stressed soldiers running around. So, naturally, General Kenobi thought up a way to help reduce the stress levels of not only himself, but his troops. I present to you: Yoga with General Kenobi.

- the thing with being in the middle of a galactic war meant that they were always on the move; sometimes it was unavoidable that the meetings had to be in the middle of a campaign. therefore there was no set place where they met, and they would instead do it wherever suited best at the time... be it an old battlefield, in the hanger, the troops' quarters and even sometimes (in emergency situations) on the bridge.

- after years of jedi training and meditation practice, obi-wan was quite a qualified instructor. the 212th particularly enjoyed it; it was a nice opportunity for them to take off their armour and stretch out in their blacks.

- obviously, commander cody was the best at it. they didn't know how exactly you can be the 'best' at yoga, but he managed it.

- one thing nobody was expecting however, was the dedication of boil to these sessions. he was always there right on time, armour off, ready to begin. no matter where they were, no matter if the other troopers weren't even aware of the meeting, he'd be there. sometimes his dedication even startled obi-wan.

- the sessions would usually start with the general asking them to sit down cross legged and close their eyes, which was always an amusing test of the clones' suppleness. (most of them preferred to sit with their legs out in front of them)

- there was never an ordinary session. obi-wan always remembers that time they'd been in the middle of a downward dog and anakin walked into the room and just... stood there with a shocked face before backing out slowly.

- no less than 10 seconds later, none other than a very energetic fives burst into the room: "GENERAL SKYWALKER SAID YOU WERE DOING YOGA-"

- and from then on, when on missions together, it was inevitable that over half of the 501st would also join in (obi-wan had to find bigger spaces to do it, it was getting so crowded)

- cody managed to convince rex to join in once, and it resulted in so much teasing from echo and fives that he swore off yoga for life.

- wondering where all his troopers had disappeared to, anakin would search the base and surrounding areas until he found them, at which point hardcase's wild gesturing meant that he had to participate.

- despite being reluctant at first ("i've got THINGS to do-"), anakin soon discovered that yes, yoga was actually quite enjoyable, and it also equated to training as well, which resulted in him dragging along ahsoka.

- it would have been quite an amusing sight; walking into a room (or a field) of the finest republic soldiers completely silent and intently gazing at two jedi generals, one commander, and raising their arms above their heads whilst doing breathing exercises.

- as it happened, this did happen once, when they were stationed on coruscant. boil had been insistent that they continue the sessions (obi-wan had to admit, he had seen a drastic change in their flexibility) and spread the word.

- the clones collectively decided that the mess hall was the only space big enough, and began to move anything they could out of the way. after generals kenobi and skywalker had arrived, they began the session.

- as it happened, mace windu and master yoda needed to speak with obi-wan and anakin regarding new strategies, but they couldn't find them anywhere, nor any of their troopers. it was like they'd simply disappeared.

- after trundling around for quite some time, the two masters stumbled upon the mess hall, and what they saw when they opened the door made them freeze in their tracks.

- it was packed full of clones, armourless, on blankets and mats and anything else that was soft, in various positions, staring up at the front where obi-wan was demonstrating the scorpion pose, anakin was trying to clamber onto obi-wan's knees and see how long he could balance there, and ahsoka was staring at them, half concerned, half amused.

- nobody noticed the two masters silently watching as anakin toppled to the ground and obi-wan over balanced, flipping on top of him, whilst the hall erupted into laughter. every person in the hall looked free of stress in that moment: content, happy, simply enjoying not being on the battlefield for once.

- yoda and mace exchanged a glance; maybe the strategy talks could wait a while.

Secret Clones AU

Short version: Secret Clones AU is the clones going into hiding in plain sight across the galaxy to force a fair wage and also to keep the babies safe from Kaminoans

The clones figure out the plan to take advantage of them, brain chips, etc. several years before the war hits. IDK how, maybe Jango decided to take a closer look with Mij and went Oh Shit. Doesn't matter. Point is, they caught on and decided that they needed to uhhhhh get Out.

There are millions of clones, yes, but there are tens of thousands of planets.

Once the chips are out and someone's jabbed them with anti-aging serum... they're not that different from standard humans.

And it's not exactly hard to tie up the Kaminoans long enough to get off planet.

So what happens is that a while, let's say a year and a half, before the war kicks off, you have a mass exodus from Kamino, and a wide dispersal of clones. They are generally staying together in groups of about half a dozen, claiming to be brothers, so that there's a 16-18-ish looking clone to take lead, with progressively younger cadets to look after. Each one has a commander they can 'report' to in case of emergency, and if something goes real bad, they can call in an Alpha (and Alphas can call in Jango in a worst case scenario).

It's still sort of a military structure, but... it's a phone tree.

And you have one of these groups of half a dozen clones in every major city. There are thousands of planets, and most of those planets have more than one city. Denon and Coruscant are nothing but city, so they can get counted as dozens of cities on their own. It's easy to disappear in places like that.

It's so easy for the clones, before anyone knows them, to just... disappear. Go into hiding in plain sight.

It's not like more than a handful of people know what to look for.

(It's not like they have a centralized record of who went where.)

(It's just the phone tree.)

They still get real excited-happy-eager when they run into a Jedi.

They want to work with Jedi. They're the good guys! And they're cool!

But your army did a mass desertion before the war started and finding/recruiting all of them is going to take a stupid amount of money. You cannot hire a bounty hunter for each and every clone.

And as @bytebun put it:

Somebody two years later: you look …familiar. Have we met? Clone: haha I get that a lot just one of those faces

AND THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE THE GALAXY IS HECKING MASSIVE

I think the Republic has to like… negotiate with Jango and the Alphas and set up paid contracts if they want these Ultra Skilled Warriors to fight for them.

The clones can fight. Some of them even want to fight. They are good at this and they recognize that many of the things that are occurring under Separatist invasion are Mega Bad.

But like. Pay them and treat them as citizens, first.

The Jedi are even more confused about this identical army that really loves them than they are in canon Where the heck did you guys come from Who trained you Why do you like us What the heck is going on

"Someone wanted us to be a trap for you but we took the trap out. Here we have a sample if you want. Anyway. We like you guys and want to fight with you because honestly civilian life is way understimulating. Let me punch a droid."

I think a few of the clones do 'scouting' where they voluntarily help a Jedi in the field to gather information on their validity as Friends. Cody keeps a number of spreadsheets that are just Various Jedi Encounters.

Rex does a scouting mission with Kenobi&Skywalker and just goes to Cody like "Listen. I know he's insane. But. I want that one."

Rex just "I call dibs" "Cody. Cody did you hear me. Dibs, I call dibs."

@catboydogma: stats for pong krell are all zeroes

Absolute shit tier Jedi They play rock paper scissors to decide who has to deal with him

A solid half of the clones don't get recruited because the lack of advanced aging (past a certain point) means they're physically still minors and My Dad (Alphas and CCs) Said No. They stay behind on their various planets to look after The Real Babies.

"Let me ask my dad" "Wait--" "He said no."

Just want these boys to have Civilian Lives they can return to or at least experience before war gets them all fucked up.

I think some of them try to Make Connections with influential people (whether politicians or like... Space Influencers) so they have people vouching for them once the war kicks off. And there can be at least some public pushback on functionally enslaving them.

"I can't believe you manipulated people into liking you! That's so mean!" "Well you see. I wanted to survive past the age of eleven. So."

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vaellis1994

3 years ago

uh i've been reading a bunch of time-travel fix-its and my brain generated another one of my stupid-ass aus:

Darth Vader retrieves Luke except he is busy so it's Cody who ends up caring for Luke on the day to day bases and through this, he manages to circumvent the chip. (nothing new so far)

Lo and behold some force osik happens and baby Luke is transported back in time into the middle of clone wars and into the middle of 212th frontlines.

Now

This is where it gets interesting

*Luke crying "daddy/papa/buir!" upon seeing Cody*

Obi-Wan: You did not tell me you have a secret child, commander. Cody: I can't have a secret child, sir! I'm gay! Obi-Wan: Now, dear commander, you know perfectly well that the universe is a beautifully diverse place. Cody: (holly shit Luke can actually be my child)

Obi-Wan: Luke, dear, are you sure Cody is your father? Luke: Mhm. He has less lines on his face and darker hair... (holly shit Luke is from the future) Luke: ...but he feels the same so I know it is him! (holly shit Cody fathered a force-sensitive child)

Cody: Luke, do you have other parents? Luke: Yes! I have another dad! Vader! Cody: (oh force he is actually my child) Cody: Can you describe him to me? Luke: Uhm, he wears a mask and a cape and a red sword.. And he has a funny accent!

(holly shit somewhere down the line Cody is going to have a kid with a darksider)

Anakin thinking he is using the braincell when he actually is not: funny accent? close with Cody? OMF Obi-Wan is going to fall

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vaellis1994

5 years ago