Workshopping A Fnaf Au For Twewy So Stay Tuned For That One Lads :)

omg STRONGLY recommend this !!! like honestly probably the best series ive read on here

(BUT OH MY GOD THE ANGST 😭😭)

(still 10/10 imo tho lol)

Calm and Serenity

Series Masterlist

Sylus x Non!MC

summary: you didn't know what sylus saw in you. he said you were calm, quiet and serene and that's what he needs. you believed it. he showed it. not until little miss hunter came. she's everything you're not. news that she's in danger can make the ever so calm sylus to run and leave everything behind. it made you think, would he do that for you as well?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

being disabled will really have you thinking/saying things like “yeah i’m not really THAT disabled. as long as i take my meds twice a day (and as needed), eat and drink exactly the right things, keep the perfect balance of being active and resting, the weather is stable, and nothing unexpected happens AT ALL… i’m totally FINE! i probably should not even call myself disabled at this point because i’m doing so well!”

if you don’t want to call yourself disabled, that’s fine and it is your choice! but if you’re only “fine” or “doing really well” when a bunch of different variables are all lined up perfectly, then maybe you are not fine actually. just a thought!

you know, another thing that fascinates me about LADS is how which LI(s) a player chooses is reflective of personal preferences? like, i recognise that that is pretty ‘obvious’ - sure, obviously, the LI(s) players choose are going to, to some degree, embody what a player likes; but it’s interesting to stop and self-reflect on what that says about oneself on a deeper level?

using myself as an example, i’m very much a Xavier girl; and, sure, on the surface level, it’s just a “the heart wants what the heart wants” situation - but it’s honestly quite…revealing? to actually sit with and discern the ‘why’ behind what draws me to him. while on a surface level, it can be summarised as a ‘he’s my type’ kind of thing, but i think stopping and thinking about why he’s my type - like, what that says about me and what i, consciously or not, look for - is a fascinating thought experiment?

personally, i think it speaks to a sense of ‘reliability?’ like, to me, a chronic overworker, xavier seems to embody a sense of rest, a sense of being the type of person you could depend on, someone who you could ‘turn off your brain’ around because you can rely upon them. and i think that that speaks to something on a deeper level - i think that that type of need often manifests in women like myself, people who are used to having to be self-reliant, to having to be the ones who ‘do it all.’

i think that need is a very common manifestation of the burden that comes with that level of self-reliance; of retreating into, or simply just daydreaming about, having a partner who can be that, of someone who’s not only capable, but willing - interested - in taking care of you - and i think that that often does begin and evolve out of that fantasy. very often, this desire is born out of previous experiences where such a need hasn’t been met, which results in then having to shoulder the burden of being the only person who takes care of yourself - which is not only physically taxing, but also emotionally taxing; it evokes this sense of “i take care of everyone, but who takes care of me?”

and i think that that’s one of the things that i love about the LADS community; it’s really interesting seeing these open conversations around why other players choose the LI(s) they do. particularly, i love getting to be exposed to these discussions around LI(s) that i specifically feel no strong draw to - it’s actually quite cool seeing why someone might be a caleb girl (as he’s basically the opposite of my type lol) and have that additional perspective. especially because the logic is often quite similar? like, the very things that draw me to xavier could be nearly identical to what draws someone to caleb, or sylus, or zayne, or rafayel - and it’s really interesting hearing about how that manifests in people.

(xavier ramble that i posted on discord and now u get to read here <3)

so. my main faves are xavier (main), rafayel, and caleb. and i was thinking... what's pulling me to xavier over the other two? (especially caleb LMAO) i feel like i'd commonly go with the outspoken clingy dramatic boys (raf) or the 'childhood best friend' archetype (caleb) but something about xavier captivated me.

when i first started looking to him, i felt like there was waaay more than meets the eye for his character, and that's intentional, since he wants to live a quiet life, but has so much history behind him.

aside from differences in personalities and preferences (i love raf but irl im not a sea or seafood person, and i love caleb but.. but nothing. xavier just pulls me in more LMAO), xavier to me truly has that sneak attack for your heart.

he's awkward, and silly, and insanely powerful on the battlefield. he loves reading comics, playing video games, and being delusional about his cooking skills. he's a rock that you can always depend upon in a quiet life. he's cheeky and gets easily jealous, but would much rather pout and be sulky than direct that to you. its adorable. as xavier and caleb are jokingly deemed the 'possessive' duo, caleb's possessiveness to me could go left (affectionate, i know why), whereas i feel as though xavier's stems from just wanting to capitalize on your attention. he has someone in his life that he cares deeply about, its only natural for him to be a little clingy about it.

on top of the fact that he's just a good friend in of itself, keeping an eye on you and making sure you take care of yourself without crossing a boundary. he loves being around you so much so that he admires the person you are, and wants to be that type of person himself. he relishes in being recognized by you in a world where he's only ever known as an entity to be utilized, rather than a person who has feelings and passions.

'this is the first time someone's asked me to play support' he says, which sounds normal at face value, but its definitely something to be unpacked: he's not used to being the person that supports, he's used to being the leader, the strong hunter that needs no one to finish the job, the crown prince that's above all else, the leader of the backtrackers, the elusive lumiere… now he just gets to be xavier that supports his friends. he thinks of himself as a nobody, someone who used to be 'everything', not out of personhood, but out of necessity. being able to be seen by someone he loves despite everything is by far the greatest joy in life he could ever have. and i love him SOOOO MUCH FOR IT!! im sure all of the lads love mc and they make their life better by being in it, but for me, there's something so comforting and lovely about xavier growing into a person he wants to be because someone he loves makes him want to figure out who he is for himself. because the person that loves him will love him at his core regardless of who he decides to be. thats why he gets jealous because mc looks to lumiere, and im sure she's picked up on that too. he loathes the idea that she loves someone that isnt him. obviously, lumiere IS him, but it's not 'him' in the sense that it's a persona, an idea, a hero. xavier… simply thinks of himself as a man who quietly lives in his apartment and goes to work like everyone else. he doesnt have a tether to anything other than just wanting to live life the way he wants to, after living so many lives that were not given by choice. at least… not until mc.

but as an addendum to this rambling, he's just!!! great and i love his personal journey and how it intertwines with mc at the core of it. im happy he gets to be in a world where he can live a quiet life!! and his joy is by far something that leads me to him over the other lads.

-- (i love him in his entirety and i think i havent found that spark with the other lads yet. caleb is a close second though, his relationship with mc is so silly and they have such a sweet bond that im sure he cherishes. his devotion, affection, and love languages are to die for.

but i think xavier's way of being there for you and picking up the cracks when you cant or before you even realize appeals to me more. thinking about precious bonfire clips i saw and how he took every opportunity to stay by and support mc and how he looked after her, made sure she was having fun, and allowed her to use him as a scapegoat so that she didn't get burnt out or the call where he saw she was alone at a team building thing at the bar and offered to leave with her since she wasnt really keen on hanging out to begin with he's just. so sweet. hes always thinking about the small things and wants his favorite person to be happy because it makes him happy :> this doesnt even go into the smaller nuances or traits that i love about him. maybe i'll do a post about it or just how personality wise i feel like if i were to bond with anyone irl xavier would be #1 in a landslide.)

Who I think the LADS men are for

Rafayel is for

• the escapism girls

• the romantasy girls

• the “no, it’s not perfect yet” girls

• the “always the artist, never the muse” girls

• the “yeah, i believe in soulmates” girls

• the “i’m my own worst critic” girls

• the “maybe one day someone will appreciate everything i have to give” girls

Xavier is for

• the “i wish i could catch a break” girls

• the “i’m so tired, but i can’t stop” girls

• the “i’ll take a break when i’m finished” girls

• the “oh, i forgot to eat again” girls

• the “i’ll be okay, i’m used to this” girls

• the insomniacs and chronic illness girls

• the “i don’t want to be a burden” girls

Zayne is for

• the “heartbreak songs remind me more of my parents than my ex” girls

• the “you don’t know the violence it took to become this soft” girls

• the “i’ll wait until i’m in the shower to cry” girls

• the burned out gifted kid girls

• the “i’m smart, but not smart enough” girls

• the poetry girls

• the “i don’t understand why i’m not good enough” girls

Sylus is for

• the eldest/only daughter

• the “i can handle it myself” girls

• the “i don’t feel a sense of accomplishment, just a mild sense of relief that it’s done” girls

• the “mature for your age” girls

• the “i’m tired of taking care of myself” girls

• the “my worth comes from my accomplishments” girls

• the “i wish someone would take the reins so i don’t have to” girls

Caleb is for

• the “i had to grow up before i was ready” girls

• the “why are you so loud?” girls

• the “no, i’m okay, what’s going on with you?” girls

• the therapist friend girls

• the maladaptive daydreaming girls

• the “i wish someone cared as much as i do” girls

• the “i don’t think i can do this anymore” girls

nice version

I liked your text on LADs and the heterosexual idealism but I wanted to add some interesting context to consider: This is from a western point of view I think. Otome games have existed for decades and have large fanbases in Japan and now China and Korea. These games were rarely published outside of their countries and when they were, were never advertised much so only a handful of western women participated and enjoyed this type of media. In the west, primarily in the states, games have been primarily targeted toward men and children and the ones that are made for women rarely have any effort put in them. So instead of flocking to games, women in the West have always flocked to books for their heterosexual idealism and, like most things women take interest in, is mostly ignored by men and the greater public until it undermines and "threatens" them.

So I don't think this is really a new thing, just that it's a widely advertised product with actual effort put in. And now more women are having their eyes opened to these possibilities.

As for the next step, LADs did announce a long time ago that they were going to have a VR version of the game. Pretty bare bones from what I saw, it was just like the home screen interactions so not a full game. As for bringing that into the physical world, it would likely be along the lines of the sex bot dolls that exist now for men. Or the Augmented Reality "waifus" that hang out on your desk and act as an Alexia. There's quite a bit of advancement for the heterosexual idealism for men but leans more sex based than emotion and affection based that we get from LADs.

Firstly, thank you! I appreciate your perspective on Otome games - I'm admittedly not that familiar with them, so I appreciate the additional cultural context.

And yeah, honestly I STRONGLY agree with your perspective on how romance novels were the more common method for women to engage with this content vs games - like you said, this isn't new per se, just a new medium (at least in the west) for women to explore this idea of Heterosexual Idealism.

Likewise, I think the AR content is definitely the logical next step - like, I think we'll probably see a sort of hybrid between AR/Alexa-esque companions/Replika-type stuff - I think VR just has, currently, too high of a barrier to entry for most people (and, obviously, robots are NOWHERE near being actually accessible to consumers).

It'll definitely be interesting to see how these developments that target women take hold, particularly given how a lot of stuff (like LADS) isn't *quite* as sex-based as content marketed to men is.

But yeah, thank you for your ask! I really enjoyed reading it :)

Society: be yourself!

Me as a child: *be’s myself*

Society: ewww omg what is wrong with you! We said to be yourself not weird! We’re gonna reject you and make you an outsider!

Me: but I followed your rule of being myself? Why don’t you like me? What’s wrong with me? Why does everyone else get the rules that need to be followed but I don’t?

Xavier deserves more love.

There! I said it!

The man has loved mc for three life times now, made a deal with the devil (Ever), traveled across time and space, moved planets, lived on Earth for a few hundred years to save / find her, and prevent catastrophe from happening to her, fuck even saving her as Lumiere when she was young.

She is the only one that sees him as himself. As Xavier.

He is kind, and comfortable, and selfless. He deals with immense survivors guilt and loves so deeply.

We talk about Rafayel and Caleb being the yearners and clingers. But have you seen Xavier? He is clingy as fuck, and wants nothing but her. Nothing.

Some fun things I love about him, he has one of the biggest appetites but cannot cook for shit. He is unironically hilarious, when he starts telling his little horror stories or ghost stories trying to scare MC, it’s so funny.

I feel like he gets overlooked so often, partially because he’s not as showy as the rest of LIs. I’m sure some might see him as boring, but he is safe. His relationship with MC is one of closest she has, aside from Caleb. They’re neighbours, and colleagues, and best friends. He is deeply ingrained in her life, and a foundational pilar of support for her.

Put some respect on his name.

I'd rather hangout with the straight boyfriend than the queer cop who insists they're one of the "good ones" while harassing people of color

I'd rather hangout with the straight palestinian grandma than the queer zionist who keeps insisting that the death of palestinians is the one way ticket to queer liberation

I'd rather hangout with the leather dyke who is a mspec gaybian and uses paw/pawself pronouns than the puritan who makes "callout posts" clearly targeting disabled queer artists

I want my gay rights now! - Marsha P. Johnson (NYC Pride Parade, 1973)