One Thing About Brain Fog That I Don't Really Hear Mentioned Is How It Makes Conversations And Hanging

One thing about brain fog that I don't really hear mentioned is how it makes conversations and hanging out with friends so hard, like there have been so many times I've been hanging out with friends and they're telling me something but I just can't comprehend it because of brain fog, or I can't think of anything to say to keep conversation flowing so I end up sitting there in silence, or how there are so many activities and games that I just can't join in on because my stupid brain won't cooperate.

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3 months ago

back by unpopular demand: me

1 month ago

Ok, question. I’m not a huge fan of the MC in Love and Deepspace. Does anyone feel the same way? Her personality is so off putting that I haven’t gotten that far into the main story line because of that. Considering all that. I want to create a few fanfics with an MC with a different and cooler personality. Her position would be the same though.

I’ll cite my evidence for why I dislike her so much (Disclaimer: I’ve seen spoilers and some of Rafayel’s cards):

We’ll start with Xavier. Poor Xavier. He’s one of my favorites. Unproblematic sleepy boi for the most part. How the MC treats him grates me, especially at the beginning.

The second time they meet (Chapter 3), they’re in an active danger zone. MC gets a sprained ankle and Xavier patches her up. Then, he takes out a ton of Wanders to clear the path for her. That’s very thoughtful. Afterward, MC starts to grill him on his identity. I’m not really sure why. I can only assume it’s a mix between him being mysterious about his identity and his insane skill (it’s called being private, but MC didn’t get the memo). She proceeds to go through a lengthy interrogation, only to come up empty.

This confuses me for multiple reasons. First, they’re in the middle of a danger zone. The priority should be getting out or clearing Wanderers, not figuring out his identity. She can ask her boss later. If she’s wary of Xavier because he’s not apart of UNICORN, then she should focus on getting out of there. She doesn’t fear him though. MC doesn’t focus on getting out, and she goes as far as sassing him later for not giving her more information. If you provoke an unpredictable and dangerous entity, there’s a good chance they’ll harm you. Consider all this, MC doesn’t fear him. Therefore, his identity doesn’t matter for her to survive. This means she wants private information from someone who clearly doesn’t want to give it. That’s rude af, especially considering he’s been helping her since he saw her. Her verbiage also rubs me the wrong way. It feels like she thinks she’s entitled to his private information. It’s ridiculous. MC has met him twice. Of course he’s not going to tell her sensitive intel. I wouldn’t either if someone acted like that toward me.

The next thing for poor Xavier was a text conversation. MC basically called him emotionless. I had to take a second to process that one. Everyone has feelings even if they don’t express them very much. I’m baffled that she insinuated that when she knows Zayne. MC has never said that about Zayne as far as I know, and he’s way less expressive than Xavier. It’s rude, insensitive, and immature to say that to someone.

Again with Xavier. There was a part where MC was given a proposal to help in obtaining some information in the main story. It was dangerous. Xavier stayed behind after her boss left. There were a few choices you could respond with. Obviously, I chose those favorable to Xavier. I click on “I want you as my hunting partner.” He was genuinely excited and happy that you wanted to work with him. Then MC adds that she views him as a tool. She’s objectifying him. That’s unacceptable and disrespectful to do to anybody, but to do it to someone with good intentions and has your best interest at heart is beyond upsetting. It was painful to watch the excited, happy expression on his face drop into one of dejection.

Let’s talk about Zayne. I’m baffled by how MC treats him. She goes against her doctor’s orders despite having a specific medical condition. She brushes him off and refuses to listen to him. It’s frustrating to witness. It makes my brain hurt. She has a job that requires extensive physical and dangerous activity. It’s important to take care of her health so she’s competent and safe. If something happens on the battlefield because MC didn’t take care of herself, she’s putting more people in danger. Instead of her teammates only having to worry just about themselves, they’ll have another burden to deal with. It seems extremely irresponsible.

Now, Rafayel… again, the MC baffles me. During the second meeting, she is incredibly aggressive. It’s the coral stone incident with his painting driving someone mad. She accuses Rafayel of malicious intent without any concrete evidence from what I understood. Although MC was right, she didn’t have any proof. As far as she knew, he doesn’t have a motive. That’s a huge issue for me. Most people don’t kill another without a reason. Also if the substance he used as paint was tainted, how should he know? He doesn’t specialize or deal with Wanderers everyday. It could very well be an accident. I find her actions and belief of immediately assuming the absolute worst and being aggressive about it as ineffective and off putting.

Next is when she finds out Rafayel is a Lemurian. Oh boy, I was in a tizzy about this scene. Now, I don’t particularly like how she treated him when he clearly felt awful. Her bedside manner was terrible, but it wasn’t a big deal. However, when the scales appear, MC touches them without permission. Rafayel is in a vulnerable state and has accidentally revealed a huge weakness that puts him in danger if others found out. When our merman boy wakes up, he tells her not to touch him. MC disregards that and continues to basically assault him. I understand that some people might find touching his cheek not a big deal, but it’s the consent that matters. He didn’t consent to her touch and she did it anyway. He was clearly uncomfortable and upset. Rafayel also had little way to fight back because of his weakened state. People might argue, “he wanted it.” That is a dangerous mindset to have. If it was applied to a real world case, then that could be making an excuse for a potential rapist. No means no. Even if he did desire it, she needs explicit consent.

Then she makes a… threat? comment? about how she could kidnap him and sell him to the highest bidder. That is not cool. Even if it’s a joke, it’s not funny. That is a real threat and danger to Rafayel, and she says it without hesitation. MC has no regard for his feelings about the situation. She says “I would never do that to you” at the end, but that doesn’t cancel out what she said earlier. MC proved she wasn’t safe emotionally. No wonder Rafayel has the sentiment of “all humans are greedy.” If I was faced with MC and the people who hound him to buy his art, I might be convinced too.

Overall, I have huge problems with the MC. Does anyone feel the same? I tend to specialize in write canon-based fanfics with twists and whatnot. Would anyone be interested? (I’ll probably do it anyway, but feedback is always appreciated) If I do, I’m changing MC’s personality 100%

1 year ago

I'd rather hangout with the straight boyfriend than the queer cop who insists they're one of the "good ones" while harassing people of color

I'd rather hangout with the straight palestinian grandma than the queer zionist who keeps insisting that the death of palestinians is the one way ticket to queer liberation

I'd rather hangout with the leather dyke who is a mspec gaybian and uses paw/pawself pronouns than the puritan who makes "callout posts" clearly targeting disabled queer artists

5 months ago

“why am i dizzy” i ask myself, as if i do not simply have the Dizzy Disorder

10 months ago

my fellow Americans you have to let yourself feel hopeful about the future under a Harris/Welz administration. Yes, even when you have criticisms of them. Yes, even when some of their decisions disgust you. You have to stop waiting for a messiah to come in and fix everything and be a perfect flawless savior. because that is obviously never going to happen. There is a very real chance to greatly improve public schools and healthcare and disability services and environmental policies and anti discrimination laws. You are allowed to want this. You have to want this, or else you resign yourself to hopelessness.

9 months ago

Do you ever see a post about someone complaining about ‘forced diversity’ and then it’s just the exact combination of traits you have

1 month ago
Hair Wash [read On AO3]

Hair Wash [read on AO3]

For XavMC Week 2025 ( @xavmc-week )

Day 2: Domesticity

(🔞 slight nsfw at the end)

In which, after a long mission, you decide to comfort Xavier by washing his hair.

Little did you know, it would lead to other consequences..

Hair Wash [read On AO3]

“You..wanna help wash my hair?”

Xavier stares at your adorable figure, standing in the doorway of the bathroom. He has just returned from a classified mission and is in the process of unbuttoning his shirt when you walk in with the proposal. He isn’t averse to the idea. Rather he’d welcome any form of skin contact if it’s you but the fact that this is the first time you’ve suggested doing something like this makes him slightly suspicious.

He tilts his head and frowns. “Am I being pranked?”

You giggle as you head to the cabinet and pull out your bottle of shampoo. “Xavier, you look like a bunny who rolled around in the mud. I simply wanna help clean up.”

“Well then, you can wash my hair but, ” He scratches his cheek and smiles, a playful threat in his eyes, “..know that this bunny will bite if you try anything funny.”

You shake your head and gesture with your hand for him to come over to the bathtub. The smile never leaves his face as he deftly undoes the last few buttons on his shirt and discards it, followed by the black turtleneck to reveal the muscular build of his torso. The sight still makes you shy like a schoolgirl so you avert your eyes and dip a finger in the tub to assess the temperature of the water instead.

“Okay just..”

When you crane your head back, you find him clad in nothing but his boxers. Your eyes involuntarily travel south and the apparent bulge shouldn’t surprise you, considering the fact that you have already seen the real thing in action, but it does. A heated blush blooms upon your face as he makes his way to you and settles into the tub, completely oblivious to the effect he has on you.

While he adjusts himself in the tub, he’s quiet but not uncomfortable. Rather, his eyes seem to be twinkling like a cat that got the cream. And his body is positively glowing like a radiant star. “I’m ready.”

It’s impossible to believe he suspected you of pranking him just a moment ago when he looks like the happiest bunny right now. You take up the hand shower’s cord and gently pour water on his hair.

“Close your eyes, lean back, and relax.”

He obliges.

You let your fingers run through the strands to evenly wet his hair, and he hums in approval. The sight makes you smile, and you proceed to squeeze out a generous amount of the shampoo in your palm. Then slowly, you massage the liquid into his hair and scalp, earning another sound of approval, this one deeper.

“Glad you’re enjoying this.”

“I am.” His reply is a breathy whisper, barely audible because of your proximity. And his cheeks are flushed a pretty hue of pink. Who knew he’d be enjoying something so simple so much?

You continue on, massaging his scalp for another minute before taking up the shower cord again. “Eyes closed, okay?”

He doesn’t respond but his eyes are closed regardless so you spray his hair with water, and begin rinsing off the shampoo. Your fingers card through his wet, silvery locks to make sure the lather isn’t left anywhere.

After you are done, you stand up to grab a towel but before you can take a step, his wet hand comes up to grasp your wrist. “Wait! You’re done already?”

His eyes are open now, big and blue and disappointed.

“Um..yeah..” You shrug. “It’s done.”

“But I just..”

He tugs at your wrist and due to the wet, soapy floor, you end up slipping, your face smacking right on his half-submerged torso.

“Ugh..Xavier you!”

Clumsily, you try to sit up, and in the process, your hand glides down, accidentally landing on something firm. Immediately you retract your hand and stare at him, face flushed beyond words.

“Is that..are you..?”

He passes a hand through his hair, the other leaving your wrist to instead wrap around your waist, and properly draw you on top of him in the tub. His eyes are heavily lidded and voice hoarse as he asks, “What if I am?”

You are too stunned for words. The article you read online only talked about this being an act of intimacy and domesticity between couples. And it’s not that you aren’t flattered but you had no idea this could turn sexual.

You punch his chest lightly. “I was only trying to help you relax!”

“And you’re doing so well.” His thumb easily unfurls your fist and he guides your palm back under the suds to rest over the outline of his obvious length confined within the boxers.

“Now..” He runs the back of his other hand over your cheek and smirks. “..finish what you started.”

Hair Wash [read On AO3]

hope you liked this ficlet ♡

i don’t think i have much time to write full-length fics but i atleast wanna write short moments of intimacy for each prompt, and participate!

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1 month ago
THIS IS NOT MINE.. REDNOTE: Http://xhslink.com/a/297um5OmvpHbb •THE AUTHOR ALLOWED ME TO POST THIS.•
THIS IS NOT MINE.. REDNOTE: Http://xhslink.com/a/297um5OmvpHbb •THE AUTHOR ALLOWED ME TO POST THIS.•
THIS IS NOT MINE.. REDNOTE: Http://xhslink.com/a/297um5OmvpHbb •THE AUTHOR ALLOWED ME TO POST THIS.•
THIS IS NOT MINE.. REDNOTE: Http://xhslink.com/a/297um5OmvpHbb •THE AUTHOR ALLOWED ME TO POST THIS.•
THIS IS NOT MINE.. REDNOTE: Http://xhslink.com/a/297um5OmvpHbb •THE AUTHOR ALLOWED ME TO POST THIS.•

THIS IS NOT MINE.. REDNOTE: http://xhslink.com/a/297um5OmvpHbb •THE AUTHOR ALLOWED ME TO POST THIS.•

1 year ago

i really look forward to when we separate androgyny and gender non-conformance from thinness

androgyny does not have to be thin, white, and eurocentrically attractive


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3 months ago

How LADS men say “sorry”

How LADS Men Say “sorry”
How LADS Men Say “sorry”

Sylus’ black card works, but I’d settle with Xavier’s for now.

permission to post from: keiyaa.aa on tiktok!

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