Winter

I think it's funny because I take sertraline and it still gives me really vivid dreams, but the weirdest thing I’ve ever dreamed was reading a book??? Anyway, I’d love to dream something related to stancest, and if I can make it lucid, I want to manifest that pizza just to see what it tastes like lmao

so here’s a fun fact: seroquel often gives you weird, vivid dreams.

anyways. had a dream where i went to a ytp party. someone brought out a fucking. stancest pizza? the box said “STANCEST: INCEST IS WINCEST” and the fuckin’. mini pizza table thing at the center of the pizza had a stancest decal. everyone was EXTREMELY hyped about stancest pizza

anyways are there any dream interpreters in the chat what does stancest pizza mean

Since sales are officially over, here’s my piece for the @fiddlefordmcgucketzine

Working on this zine was a blast, thanks to everyone who made it happen!!

as much as i want to see fiddleford recover and enter his much-deserved era of good mental and physical health, i also want to see the effects of his head trauma follow him forever. it’s important to me that while he heal and find a level of normalcy and peace, he never return to his old self.

kind of a side bar, but it’s relevant so: i also think there’s something to be said about old man mcgucket’s confidence. boldness? idk how to describe it. i wouldn’t say his paranoid tendencies have vanished, but for the most part he’s. breezier. part of it is the brain damage, and maybe part of it is genuine self-evolution in the right direction. but i think the obsessive mind-wiping just… broke that part of his brain. it’s like he’s no longer affected by fear in the same way. and i hope we see strong traces of that damage until the day he dies.

it’s important to me that fiddleford heal and emerge into self-awareness once more. it’s important to me that ford still look at him as very much the same person, despite all of the damage. but he’s also changed severely and irreversibly. i think of old man mcgucket as a much rawer version of fiddleford in that he holds less reservations and has no filter. he’s healing but he’s also broken, and those scars will forever be visible. and that’s important to me because it also changes ford and fiddleford’s dynamic a lot.

ok one last sidebar, then i’m done. when i say it changes their dynamic i mean it in the way that because fiddleford now wears his heart on his sleeve and ford himself is a bit wiser about relationships, there is less self-sabotaging going on between them. romance or friendship wise. and if nothing else, they both feel they’re getting too old for biting their tongues, so i imagine the discussions of certain difficult topics comes a bit easier now.

like, given that they’ve both made many catastrophically terrible decisions over their lives, they have a better perspective on life in general and have had time to reorient their previously fucked priorities. ford lives with a lot of shame for how he treated stan, dealing with the devil, and bringing about the end times. fiddleford lives with a lot of shame for how he treated emma-may and tate, starting a cult that ruined lives [especially his own], and not to mention the multiple death robot incidents. even though they both had good intentions or else thought their actions were justified at the time [mostly], it all collapsed on their heads because these actions were ridiculously stupid.

i think all of this is part of why the rekindling of their friendship happened so easily. fiddleford is eager to forgive ford and embrace him because he’s learned first-hand what grief and paranoia can drive a person to do, and so he feels the best thing he can do is accept his old friend back into his life, no questions asked. maybe ford will forever think he doesn’t deserve it, but he learns to accept mcgucket’s kindness and tries to learn from it. they’re both healing even if it’ll never be Backupsmore again. it’s still them, despite it all.

Ughhh I love him

you can see that the script originally had ford building an anti-gravity machine for the science fair (which i guess acts as foreshadowing to the portal?), but the sun lightbulb feels like it would've connected to the opening of stanchurian candidate....

hey. you got any good stancest fic recs? 👀 i trust your opinion over any other stancest blog rn

!!!!!!

Omg, that is so so sweet????? I'm not sure what I did to earn that trust, but thank you!!!

Okay, here are some of my favs, but I'm still making my way through the tag!!

What We Used To Be - By fractured_hourglass (M)

Here's one of the fics I first read when I got into stancest, it broke into my home and tore my heart apart with its angst but it was so GOOD???? SO fucking good, great angst, spectacular writing and characterization. It takes place between stanchurian candidate and last mabelcorn, so don't expect a happy ending in the first part, BUT it's insanely good. The summary is that Stan and Ford are trying to learn to live together again, but they keep fighting, and implications that they were something more...makes everything worse. And when Jimmy Snakes, an old fling of Stan's is back in town, Ford gets more and more irritable until shit hits the fan. There is also a part 2 now that wraps everything up nicely!

Any Way You Want It - By Pandame (E)

An untraditional A/B/O fic that is deliciously hot. Ford comes out of the portal...different.

Miss Missing You - By theywerefireworks (E)

A fic post weirdmageddon where Ford tries to make Stan remember their shared memories together--even if they aren't all that pretty.

Oral Communication - by fishingboatblues (E)

Stan starts leaving notes in code, leaving Ford to decipher them.

Sweet Dreams and Glacier's Rock - by Frondere (E)

The twins take a trip, and there's only one bed 👀

everything you feel is good - by businessboyjared (E)

A delightful pwp where Ford walks in on Stan watching porn. What happens next will shock you.

TV Remotes and Ice-Cream - by wubdub_redux (G)

A really sweet fluffy fic about Stan being awkward about his feelings, but luckily Ford is really dense.

And last, but CERTAINLY not least, a fic I'm still reading right now and it's in progress but is SO good:

many dreams come true, and some have silver linings - by GoodbyeBabylon (E)

This fic is just. Chefs kiss. It's so well done. It's the pining Stancest fic I have yearned for, where they are OLD and PINING and STILL have trouble communicating. It's so so good guys. Highly recommend.

And there you have it!! There are probably some I'm forgetting, and like I said I'm still going through the tag, but please enjoy! :D

For @nekoaimy

"This is crazy!" Stan pants, running around a corner of the space station - a hellish shrieking sound behind him.

Ford follows after, even though it's difficult to move around in the bulky astronaut suit he's wearing.

It's yellow, Stan's is bright purple, and far in the distance the 'person' who was once wearing green has been replaced by a monstrous imposter.

...if he was ever human at all.

The green imposter already murdered Orange - they mistakenly ejected Pink, thinking her the alien slowly working through them all. Brown is dead, Black dead...Jesus, how many of them are actually left?

Stan would've never suspected Green, but then he never wanted to be on this station to begin with. This was all on Ford's head. He's the one who wanted to leave the Stan O' War II behind to go on this ridiculous mission.

He thought Stan might like to see the stars...

...as if he couldn't see them from the boat. But the sentiment was so romantic (even though Stan knows for a fact it was not) that he had to come. Besides, he'd follow his twin anywhere.

That's the thing about being incestually and idiotically in love with your sibling. You'll do whatever they want. Just to feel closer, just to get a taste of their attention, their affection...

Sad to be this old and still this stupid.

Stan and Ford catch their breath, far from the threat of the imposter. The ejection hatch is nearby... maybe it won't follow. It saw what they did to Pink.

Ford sighs, "I'm- I'm sorry, Stanley...I never would've imagined-!"

"Eh," Stan waves a hand, "We'll be fine, right? We've faced worse."

Ford's expression is grim and Stan doesn't feel very reassured. Not that he was expecting his brother to coddle him - not his style. But then Ford edges closer and husks, "There are worse things..."

Stan's not sure what he's talking about until Ford's lips are on his. Stan freezes, not sure what to do, how to react. He's dreamed of this, longed for this. And now it's happening.

Ford's tongue swipes against his, warm and soft and sweet and Stan trembles, drawing away with a whisper, "No."

The word encompasses the full horror he feels. The hurt. Ford's head angles to one side and looks confused, "Stanley..."

"You're not him," Stan's voice is hollow and he hears it as if from very far away. Ford just blinks, "How do you know?"

"... because he would never..." he trails off, then breathes, "No matter how much I want him to."

Ford...no, Yellow, just blinks again. Slower this time, "I see. I suppose I miscalculated..."

A watery, hysterical laugh escapes Stan, "Guess you did."

They stare at one another, a beat of tense silence passing. Stan whispers, "Where is he?"

"I think you know."

"...yes," Stan swallows thickly as tears, unbidden, escape, "I suppose I do."

He doesn't know why he repeats Yellow's earlier words. He doesn't know anything. He's dead, after all. He knows that now. The cold, dead weight of his heart tells him that.

"Shall I make it quick?"

The question just hangs there. And before Stan knows it, he's nodding his head, and he's unconsciously speaking, "Yes. It should be quick."

In a fast, lightning swift move, he tugs Yellow to him, holds him hard and fast as he intones, "For both of us."

He then slams the eject button, sending them both out into the cold, black darkness of space. The last thing Stan sees is the very thing Ford wanted him to see all along: the stars

ford's encounter with the dream hipster revealing his greatest nightmare isnt JUST stanley dying, but it's very specifically stan dying *by his own hands*. one that he is responsible for, and where he'll be a spectator to his brother's doom, caused by HIM, and HIS hands.

And you have to wonder what scenario could possibly exist where that would happen.

I mean him killing his brother, caused by something that's his fault?

something else i really like is how even the dream hipster's joke "LOOKS LIKE YOU FINALLY GAVE YOUR BROTHER A HAND" is a poke at repressed guilt ford had about not helping stan.

guilt ford tries to hide, because it forces him to ask— acknowledge if he had a choice in losing his brother. to write in code, asking himself, "have i been too harsh all along?" while dropping tears onto the drawing of stanley offering him one last high six

"who knows what could happen if Cipher stepped inside stanley's mind for even one minute?" i guess what happened is literally ford's worst nightmare. kind of funny

We Swear It’s the Cold - (Pages 1-9) Part 1

I was rereading one of my fave fics and I really like this one. It’s also one of the first stancest fics I’ve ever read, then I’ve got hooked lol.

For @cheeziswin, you’ve been a super sweetie and I always wanted to draw ya a gift so enjoy! 

not yet!!