Insatiable*

Masterlist

Imagines 

The one where Harry’s in love with you but you’re clueless and dating someone else Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

The one where you just wanted a fling but Harry wanted to take it slow Part 1 Part 2 

The one where you need comfort and Harry just loves you 

College Harry Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

I love you too & I love you too II

Best friend’s brother Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

From The Dinning Table Part 1 Part 2

Moving in Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 +1 Part 13 +1 

Stop at Abbey Road 

Frat boy Harry smut

Haze 

Bad Kisser 

Flirt 

The Girl, the Miss, the Mrs Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Ohana Part 1 Part 2

Lawyer Harry Part 1 Part 2

Doctor Harry 

 Principio 

 Principio II

 Grito por dentro 

Dulce introducción al caos

Golfa

Cerca del suelo

Hoy te la meto hasta las orejas 

Primer movimiento: El sueño

Rojitas las orejas 

Corto

El sitio de mi recreo

 So Payaso

El Pájaro Azul

Salir

Moody Blue

La vereda de la puerta de atrás

Segundo movimiento: Lo de fuera

 Pequeño rocanrol endémico

 Yo me quedo contigo aquí

Buscando una Luna 

Si te vas 

Ocean Eyes

Locura Transitoria 

Un suspiro acompasado 

Pierdo verticalidad

Cuando no me ves 

Sweet Creature

Tercer movimiento: Lo de dentro 

Cuarto movimiento: La realidad

T la sudo

Spanish Eyes

The End Of The Road

   Doctor Harry blurbs: 

Single:

A hard day’s night 

Parents: 

Bad mom 

First belly

Scared

Prompts 

Prompt List 

Prompts 1&18 #I can’t stand your silence #Give me a chance

Prompt 2 I thought we were family

Prompt 5 Just because I’m mad doesn’t mean I don’t love you 

Prompts 6&19 Let me look at you & Just don’t shut me out, okay?

Prompts 15&33 You have no idea what you do to me & God you make me mad

Prompt 24 We’d make such cute babies 

Prompt 27 I would but I can’t feel my legs 

just something in the works :-)

“You want to be a brat? I’ll treat you like one,” He tells her, voice firm and eyes glinting with enmity and intention.

She releases a surprised squeak when he grapples her by the hip and flips her onto her stomach. Pinches her eyebrows as he knees his way onto the mattress and lands three slaps in concession, hard.

“Not being a brat,” she huffs, inhales sharply when another hit lands.

“Not being a brat? Is that just what you said?” His tone is incredulous, and she can imagine the disbelief his features shape, the way his lips tighten in resolve. “You don’t ever mouth off to me.”

She hums as he forcefully lifts her hips, lips parting when he delivers another blow with an open palm.

“What do little, insolent brats get, darling?” Harry slaps her again, “Hm?”

“I wouldn’t know, I’m not a brat,” She quips, voice carrying a tune of attitude.

This time the smack makes her gasp, “Stop mouthing off.” She whines when a litany follows. “I’m sick of it. You want me to be mean? I can be very mean.”

“I don’t want you to be mean,” She squeels, “Ouch.”

“Then don’t make me,” He retorts sternly. Surely her skins reddened by now, she feels like she’s on fire. Harry’s following through, delivering more pain than pleasure.

“Stop it,” she huffs. Lets out a keen when he hits her again, hard. “Feels like needles.”

“That’s the point. You’re not supposed to like it.”

And. She could apologize. She could say, “sorry, I shouldn’t have called you stupid when you didn’t give me the remote so we could watch Toddlers and Tiaras.” But he is stupid.

“I still think you’re stupid,” she grunts.

There’s a sharp inhale behind her, a pause that lingers, almost thoughtful.

“You know what, baby? Raise your hips,” comes an order laced with malevolence.

She shouldn’t call him stupid. It’s one of his “rules.” They’re not...on that page. The novel hasn’t progressed from whatever their relationship is now into anything playful, he’s not her boyfriend. Even with the hankering on her part, though she’ll never express that to him. Maybe it never will.

For now, she respires deeply in annoyance, knees her way up. Lengthy digits curve around her thighs to maneuver her back. His rings are cold against her skin. And she lets out a high, started sound when the first strike lands.

“You’re going to understand your place by the time I’m done,” Harry affirms faux airily before he distributes another to her pussy.

Boyfriend Harry - headcanons(smut edition)

Summary : just another piece of boyfriendrry headcanons. This time with smut.

Warnings : smut, dirty talk .

He always (mostly) wakes up with a boner.

He wakes you up with lot of kisses, and make sure that you know that his little guy is in pain by pushing his hips towards your back.

He will be soo gentle while having sleepy morning sex. The trusts will be sloppy and slow.

He has a very dirty mouth.

Dirty talk is one of his weapon to make you all blushy and giddy.

He is definitely a toe curler. When he is about to come he curls his toe.

He always gives first preference to your pleasure. He always make sure that you come before him and you feel good.

He will press his huge hand on your lower tummy where you can feel him inside you. He will say things like "do you feel good, baby ? Yeah ? I can feel my cock deep inside your tummy. I can actually can feel it" He will put a bit more pressure on your tummy.

He loves to come with you also . He will hold his orgasm so you both can come together. "Are you close ? I'm about to come. Please come with me baby. "

When you are giving him a blow job , his fingers will be tangled in your hair , and he will stroke your hair and will praise you a lot. "Doing so good , baby. "That's it , I'm about come , you make me feel soo good baby".

He will almost loose his mind when you are riding him. He loves to see you on top , using his cock. He will go feral when your tits stars to bounce. He will grab your tits and suck on them.

When he is fingering you or rubbing your clit he will put his other hand on stomach and make sure that you don't move a lot.

He will be a freaking tease. He will make you all worked up. He will kiss every inch of your body from the top. And when he reaches the spot he will purposely avoid it. And will not give you what you want until you beg him.

He loves to try different positions. You both tried almost every position that a human can have sex. He is so flexible. And you both will end up being in a laughing fit when the position failed.

He will curse while he is about to come. "fuck , fuck , fuck , fuck. I'm cuming"

He is always so horny while you both were in public. You both will be in a party, and you are wearing a sexy , short dress. He will be loosing his mind. He will drag you to the bathroom and he will bend to the sink top and fuck you infront of the mirror .

He will shove his fingers into your mouth to muffle your moans.

While you are having a slow and passionate sex, he will interwine your fingers. And he will be kissing you through out.

He will never neglect you after having sex. He will always make sure to take care of you after. After care is important to him. He will make sure that both of your cum is completely cleaned from your body.

He will make you take shower mostly. But If you are too tired to have a shower, he will carry you to the bathroom so that you can pee. And he will bring you back to bed and will dress you in one of his t-shirts.

He will make sure if you need anything before turning off the lights .

He will turn off the lights and get onto bed beside you and cuddle with you. He will place one last kiss on your lips and will say "I love you" and goes to sleep.

~~~

Thank you, hope you enjoyed.

Please like and reblog. And please give feed back. I'd love to hear your thoughts. <3

~~~

Rue’s Lil Masterlist

For those of you who like my writing lol here’s the mother load. Knock yourselves out. Hope you enjoy!

Rue’s Wattpad

Requests for more one shots here. 

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—–

SERIES

YOU’RE TOO NICE

Y/N is Kendall’s personal clothing consultant and Harry’s ex and see some very risqué pictures of the two of them on New Year’s Eve. But considering you’re a kind person, you let it go and someone you hoped to never see again calls you out for it.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

PRETTY BABY

Y/N and Harry are best friends that are ridiculously comfortable with each other and have too much time on their hands now that Harry is on break since he refuses to live in his own house and camps out at Y/N’s flat.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

ABOUT LAST NIGHT

Harry goes home for the holidays and stays afterwards considering he’s on break and runs into the little shy girl who always was sitting next to him in school alphabetically. Only, where arrogant Harry seems to be the same, Y/N isn’t that shy little girl with a crush that Harry remembers. 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

HAND GESTURES

Y/N is absolutely done with being dressed like a high school prom queen whenever she steps out onto the red carpet. She’s finally establishing herself as the musician she wants to be but she feels ridiculous in her own skin from all these bedazzled costumes her stylist puts her in. But after a very interesting conversation with Harry Styles over his floral print life choices, Y/N finds herself with a brand hew stylist with a bit too much time on his hands. 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

SPACE FRIENDS

When both Harry and Y/N are sexiled from their dorm rooms by their roommates, they end up together where Y/N geeks out about her love for astrophysics and space, and Harry enjoys listening. But after a long night of adventures together, it’s time to go back to the real world and all they know is each other’s names and that they’re space friends. And though she has an alright boyfriend and a busy life with no time for friends, Y/N finds herself wondering what her space friend is up to on a constant basis.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

HALLWAY CHATS

Harry just wants to live like a normal person his age since he’s on break and decides to move into an apartment building that Y/N has been living in since college. Harry is literally the worst roommate every and she can totally hear him singing through the walls late at night while he’s showering and just because he’s famous and can sing doesn’t mean he has to do it loudly so she has no problem marching on over there next door and pounding on his door telling him to shut up. Harry finds it all rather amusing but Y/N borderline wouldn’t mind killing him.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

HISTORY LESSONS 

Y/N is obsessed with history and Harry is obsessed with her and somehow, over a series of lessons on the Miracle of Dunkirk, they find a miracle of their own where they just don’t want to kill each other but actually wouldn’t mind cuddling late at night. 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

PAINTED LIPS

Harry knew he was way in over his head when he met Y/N, but he wasn’t sure just how over his head he would be. And considering he’s found himself in some very compromising positions with her that could or could not be considering white collar art forgery crime, he’s starting to wonder if there’s any chance they’d ever be able to share their jail sell together. 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

TWO’S COMPANY

Y/N and Harry low-key can’t stand each other, but Y/N really wants to go on this trip to pay tribute to her grandfather and Harry doesn’t have anything better to do. So they’re kinda/sorta forced to go on the trip together and decide to fuck because hey they might as well since how else are they going to take out their anger on one another in the middle of a forest where they’re already sweating like crazy.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6  / Part 7

DAMN PROFESSIONAL

Harry has always wondered about his neighbor. She keeps to herself and only lets him in when he’s escaping his one night stands in the mornings. She very professional, always on a mission, and seems very aware of everything going on around her. He was always curious of his neighbor, but he never seemed to really notice her. That is, until the new vigilante in London saves his life and he has to start looking for answers to questions he never thought he’d have to ask. 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

HOME REMEDIES

Y/N is doing just fine on her own and being in her new home for the holidays. Her old friend Kat is in London now, and there’s no need for her to go back to Holmes Chapel for any reason. But when the large city of London becomes small enough that they bump into their old childhood friend Harry once more, memories are recalled, feelings blossom, and the holidays become much more homey with Harry back in their lives. And there’s no place like home for the holidays.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

FLAT OUT

Not to be all domestic, but Harry and Y/N share Harry’s flat and it’s really more Y/N’s than it is Harry’s and Harry knows it and Y/N knows it but neither of them feel like mentioning it because Harry has a new Someone in his life and maybe the flat should just be Y/N’s now instead of Harry and Y/N’s, you know?

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

RUM & COCONUTS

Y/N and Harry are that couple that’s been together for ages and Savie is just that friend who is constantly single and third-wheeling. In an attempt to find Savie a man and take a well-deserved vacation, the three find themselves visiting old friends in Jamaica where relationships are tested and someone gets down on one knee … but who is it and what will the answer be?

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

LOVE ME DO

To earn money to fund her student film, and use wifi for free, Y/N starts a job as a bartender at a bar already under the expertise of Harry, the hot bartender Y/N can’t stop running romcom scenarios with in her head. But scorned one to many times, and tired of being consistently lonely, Y/N puts it out of her head that she and Harry would ever be together considering they seem to come from different worlds - and considering Y/N literally has no idea of how to be a bartender whatsoever. 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

MES YEUX

It’s the summer of 1983 in Northern Italy. Y/N and Harry haven’t seen each other for three years, and the last time they did see each other Harry had fingerprints on his shoulder from where Y/N had held him so tightly the night before because they knew their relationship had to come to an end. But now they’re back where they spent the majority of their childhood together, surrounded by their closest friends, and the angst is real. 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

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ONE SHOTS

> High-Waisted, Short Tempered - In which Y/N has a family reunion to go to and Harry invites himself and Y/N’s cousins kind of drive the poor, sweet girl insane.

> Auto-Pilot - In which Harry has been flying a lot and Y/N is the most beautiful, confident, skilled private jet pilot Harry has ever met and the lines between friends and professionalism are blurred a bit.

> Cheesy Puffs - In which Harry works at the 24/7 corner convenience store just off campus and Y/N walks in a 2am demanding cheese puffs drunk off her ass only to turn around in horror the next day, hung over, in class to find the same curly haired boy who sat in the crisp aisle with her for three hours talking about her life problems.  

> Kitchen Table - In which Y/N works with little tots and loves them lots and Harry is a grumpy economics professor and even though they both live together and work on the same campus and know each other like the back of their hands, they still always fight over who gets to grade papers on the kitchen table and also can’t seem to realize they both just love each other a lot. 

> Bluetooth Connect - In which Y/N lives below someone with some great music taste who accidentally forcibly introduces himself to her by connecting to her bluetooth speaker and giving her such a fright that when he shows up at her door to apologize she realizes he’s a total cutie and maybe she shouldn’t be in just a towel.

> Late Night Lobby Flirtations - In which Y/N works as an all-night lobby receptionist and Harry lives in the penthouse and he makes her cupcakes and she pats his dog and they both crack a plan to help one of the girls sneak out to a party at some point but basically they just both really love each other and don’t know how to say it so Harry just hires her instead. 

> You Absolute Asshole - In which Harry keeps parking in Y/N’s parking spot right outside her dorm room and Y/N has to wake up at 5am just to tell him off, only for Harry to smile and wave as if he isn’t a thief.

> 3am Ghost Calls - In which Y/N doesn’t stay up past 3am often and the last time she was up this late was because she was binge-reading the Harry Potter series for the 15th time, but now she’s in the library cramming for her finals and it’s 3am and she’s pretty sure she’s just seen a ghost wtf. “You know, usually when a guy gets a call at 3am, it’s a sexy call … not a ghost call.”

1/ ok long anon :) back longer than ever ! because was there one time Harry was seen at like a western bar? or a bar that had a mechanical bull and he rode it ?? Then left with a girl? did that actually happen am I making that up? Anyways Harry’s in the middle of his American tour and has a 3 day break before his next show on Friday. And let’s pretend he’s somewhere around Nashville, or down further south near Dallas or Houston, or maybe west near Phoenix, or could be up in Boston, anyways point is, it’s Tuesday night and Harry just wants to find a place to have a beer at an actual bar with his band and some of the crew, and hopefully not be center of attention for a moment. And the bar he manages to make his way into isn’t packed whatsoever, but still has a nice crowd of what seems to be older locals, there for open mic night/karaoke. He and the band manage to make their way in to go sit at a booth tucked away and if any of the patrons do spare a look at him, it’s not really at him, but more so at his funky multicolored cardigan. And Harry’s having a great time just being able to be out drinking and having a good time with his friends, just laughing over stories told, pausing to listen to whoever is up at the mic if they catch his ear. Harry suggests another round of drinks, and he walks up to where you’re behind bar in a pair of Levi’s shorts, head turned away as you’re filling up a glass from the tap, and as if you could sense someone there behind you, you’re already saying “I’ll be with you in a second” without even turning around. And when you hear a “take your time” in an accent that’s definitely not from one of your usual crowd, you quickly look over your shoulder and just as quickly turn back to the tap because holy shit…it’s actually Harry Styles at this bar of all places. And as you turn to take the drink you poured to the patron at the corner of the bar, Harry gets an actual look at you and thinks to himself oh wow…she’s pretty. Really, really pretty even in this low lighting. And as you slide your way back over to him, you ask “what can I get you?” in the most calm cool collected way you can manage. And maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s because he’s naturally a menace, but Harry says “your name” with a slight grin. And you won’t lie, hearing that from Harry Styles did make your heart start pumping faster, and a smirk starts to make its way to your mouth that Harry catches, but is shaken away as you roll your eyes because men really are the same no matter who they are and you respond “it’s y/n. Now seriously, what can I get you? They don’t look it, but this crowd can get rowdy if they don’t get their drinks in time even if I tell them that it was a young big shot rock star decided to hold up the line” And there it is. The little weight that settled on your shoulders for a second lifted because you know that he knows and he knows that you know who he is. But you also can’t help but notice the little bit of hurt that crossed Harry’s face when you responded. And Harry, he’s a little taken back by your sharp response, mouth dropped, but not so much shocked that you know who he is (he’s not conceited just knows how relevant/big he is). And he doesn’t know what it is whether it’s the fact that you’re so pretty, or the fact you tried to play it cool (the shocked-knowing glance you made at him when you thought he didn’t notice turns out was noticed) the alcohol, or the slight bite in your response, but he turns to look back at the booth with his friends and notices that they’re so deep into conversations and laughs and (some even dancing with some of the older patrons) honestly, haven’t noticed that Harry’s been gone for a moment. He looks back to you and says “Y/N” (that rolls nice off his lips), “I’m sorry, I’ll have one of whatever is on tap.” And you nod as you turn to pour his drink while Harry decides to settle in and take a seat at the bar. And when you place his drink on the table, he goes “Seriously, I’m sorry if I offended you or made you uncomfortable in anyway.”

2/ And you notice how genuine he sounds right now, and you were neither offended or uncomfortable, just more shocked that Harry Styles is asking for your name. You tell him “it’s fine, really, just wasn’t expecting /that/ from you. Anyways, what managed to bring you all the way over here?” And that’s how you two started talking about everything really even as you excused yourself to fill orders, the conversation was easily jumped back into. Harry told you of how he’s been on tour and just needed to feel like a person and you told him about yourself. How you took up bartending because you’re starting grad school in the fall and little stories about the old timey crowd that like to inhabit this place. Like how behind the dingy curtain on the little stage, there’s actually a mechanical bull that is hardly ever used now because too many drunk old people nearly breaking a hip trying to live out their Wild Wild West fantasy. And you both don’t really notice, but as the conversation has gone on, he’s leaned more across the bar as you’ve leaned closer to him as well. Harry’s noticing how your eyes crinkle when you laugh and the mole on your forearm as you stretch to hand people their drinks. And your beautiful doesn’t go missed by the kind elderly guests who he can hear make comments on how “you get prettier every time I see you y/n” And you’re really smart. When you told him what you’re going to grad school for, and what you’re researching, Harry was reminded how he stopped going to school at 16. And you’re noticing how easy he is to talk to. Surprisingly easy and despite being a huge celebrity, he’s really down to earth, still cocky but charming. He’s also so handsome, strikingly so, especially this close. Anyways, the night has gone on, more of the crowd turning in for the night, and you’re now around the bar, sitting on the stool next to Harry, knees occasionally knocking against each other, still talking. At some point you’re both broken out of whatever trance you’re both under by each other by one of Harry’s friends coming over to tell him that they’re all leaving and you think sadly to yourself that this weird, unexpected, encounter has come to an end. But when you see that Harry hasn’t gotten up from his stool, and he tell them that’s going to stay back and he’ll get a ride back later, something lights up in your belly. As they all wave back at him you send a wave off as well and Harry turns back to you and says “Is that okay with you? I’m honestly having a really great time talking with you.” And you swear steam could come out of your ears and your face is probably beet red right now as a high pitch “no, that’s fine, I’m really having a great time too. But I am going to have to start closing up now, so if you do want to leave…” and Harry is all “oh….well is it okay if I stay as you close up, give you some extra company? I promise I’ll stay out of your way, or I could help, you know?” And he adds with a smile, “Whatever I can do that’ll make you want me to stay, lovely” And that last part makes you smitten really as you nod okay to him. So the bar is now closed, and you’ve been going through your usual closing routine (it’s just you that night since it was Tuesday) and you just can’t believe Harry Styles is here helping you sweep and flip chairs onto tables (“I can help some. I used to be a baker you know?”) And you’ve plugged your phone into the speaker to play your Spotify as you clean and when you hear the opening of Canyon Moon, a shock runs up your spine as you pause mid tabletop wipe down and your eyes move to meet Harry who has looked up mid sweep. And you’re blushing again and stammering an apology of “I am so sorry let me change it” as you rush to your phone to change it as Harry who has gone back to sweeping says “no I like this one” with a grin and looks back to you. And you’re a little relieved but still embarrassed biting your lip as you tell him “yeah i do too” with a returned grin.

3/ And you both go back to cleaning and talking, you’ve both ended up in one of the booths, Your feet brushing against each other under the table as you finish up looking over inventory sheets between asking Harry about his tattoos (his sleeves rolled up,holding his arm out on the table as you admire and you didn’t miss the flex of his hand when you brushed against the one of the holy Bible asking if the placement of the bookmark means anything particular). And at some point Harry looks towards the stage at one point and asks “is there really a bull behind there?” And you told him “yeah and that bull has a name, and it’s Stella by the way named after an actual cow the owner had on a farm as a kid” and now you’re pulling the curtain to reveal, the very intimidating mechanical bull that takes up most of the tiny stage. And Harry’s all “can I ride it?” And you’re all “are you sure? I mean it hasn’t been used in awhile besides my coworkers when we’re fucking around after closing sometimes.” And Harry’s like “yeah it looks like fun.” And that’s how he ended up, on top of the bull, shoes discarded and socked feet, holding on with one hand as the bull bucked and you laughed at first because of how ridiculous he looked, and he’s laughing along with you having the time of his life too, but oh…the way he’s practically grinding against the seat is making you have some really impure thoughts. And you shake your head a little as he’s finally lost his bearings and has fallen off onto the protective padding below laughing his head off. And jokingly you say “23 seconds. And here id thought you’d last longer.”

4/ And Harry catches your shot at his ego as he gains his composure, rising up to where you are at the controls to say “heyyy now. Bet you can’t do better.” And you’re a little insulted at his assumption because you mentioned earlier to him that you and the rest of the workers here will occasionally ride the bull after work for fun and you’d managed stay on the longest several times thanks to your highly strategized technique you’ve developed, as you scoff “oh please I know how to ride” and your eyes widen because you didn’t mean for your response to be that saucy, but Harry is already looking at you with that smirk and says “well, show me how you ride then” and you swallow and agree and after giving harry a rundown on the easy to use controls, you’re perched on the bull. With the bull facing the away, your starting with your back towards Harry, and he can’t help but to notice your ass in your shorts again as it’s slightly arched on the bull with your hand in the air. Once he actually starts up the bull, he realizes how right you were about knowing how to ride. And he didn’t think this was possible but you’ve managed to make this whole activity seem graceful? In the way that you’re going with the motions of the bull. Harry also can’t help but notice how sexy you look up on it too, he can’t help but let his himself imagine you riding him like how you are on the bull right now. You rocking rhythmically back and forth on the saddle. Harry’s glad that he’s behind the controls right now as he reaches to his pants to discreetly adjust himself because he’s getting hard. And your gleeful laughter snaps him out of his dirty thoughts as you make eye contact with him, and it’s a split second but oh did you just see him? adjust himself? Oh… and it breaks you from your concentration as you’re flung from the bull a little harsher than expected onto the padding below. And Harry has exclaimed your name as he has stepped his way into the padding of the bull pen rushing to you as you’re rolled onto your side catching your breath laughing a little because this is, just so crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy that Harry Styles has not only showed up to your bar, but he /likes/ talking to you, he called you lovely and now, he’s hard over you. And Harry is leaned over you, rolling you onto your back, concern on his face, and asking “are you okay?” And you’re still trying to catch your breath as breathless laughs escape you as you tell him “yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

5/ And now you’re close, really close and really looking at each other as Harry goes to sweep some of your hair off your face. And you reach your hand up to softly brush against the bare skin of his tattooless arm. And you’re looking at Harry’s lips as he’s paused his ministrations in your hair looking down at you and smirks “you were right about knowing how to ride.” And a smile spreads across your face, and your eyes are doing that crinkled thing that Harry likes as you reply “oh, you think?” and your hand moves to tug on his collar, to bring him down to your face as you kiss him.

Anndddddd that’s all I’ve got lol.

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BESTIE....... BESTIE OH MY GOD HELLO??? IM SPEECHLESS IM... OMFG HIM BEING A LITTLE NERVOUS? YOU BOTH BEING SO EXCITED TO HANG OUT AFTER HOURS, AND THE REALIZATION THAT LIKE... OH FUCK HE’S ACTUALLY KIND OF INTO YOU... OH MY GOD

Go Home

in which Harry is jet lagged and you’re completely humiliated.

To be fair, he said he didn’t wanna go. 

Keep reading

if I really think about this scene and his lips in this scene i feel butterflies in my stomach 😭🥺

that makes four.

PART 8 - playlist

You fiddled with the bracelet on your wrist, tugged at an earring and smiled when a group of unfamiliar faces passed by. Jeff’s birthday parties were always well attended, but this year felt different since you knew you would--and planned to--bump into Harry.

You sipped on the drink in hand--vodka with soda and some kind of juice mixed in by the bartender who complimented your necklace.

Now, in the upstairs private dining room at a restaurant in Malibu, you ignored the face Tristan made when he took a sip of his own concoction. “This has too much grapefruit juice--do you want to switch?”

“Sure,” you pushed yours forward and swapped, already taking a sip when Tristan eyed you suspiciously.

“Wait, don’t you hate grapefruit?”

“I don’t care,” you shrugged, another scan of the crowd. He wasn’t here--at least, not yet. Tristan cleared his throat and let out a sigh.

“Okay, is this how the whole night is going to be? You just anxiously waiting to confess your love?”

“I’m not going to confess my love,” you clarified. “I’m just going to chat with him, see how he’s doing and if his house is finished. Take the temperature, y’know.”

Everyone had pretty much stayed out of it. Even Jeff, for the most part. Aside from showing up in your kitchen with a bag of donuts to bribe your kids, he’d left you alone and didn’t pester you over and over about making a big mistake.

You could admit it now, partially, when you were alone at night wondering if you’d grow old in this house and be single forever. You could admit it when you drove to the office and wished there was someone to come home to, someone who’d cook dinner, and listen to how annoying Tristan had been in the afternoon meetings or at events like this.

In the back of your head it was a truth you’d always known: life with Harry in it was better than any alternative.

But now you could admit it.

Which is why your heart dropped to the floor when you saw him hug someone on the other side of the room in greeting, Tristan pulled you by the shoulder behind a wall and you both peered around the corner, watched as he found Jeff and clapped him on the shoulder in celebration.

Was it childish? Was your hardcore crush that had somehow turned into more a complete waste of time? Maybe. You’d been telling yourself for so long that nothing could ever come of sex with someone eight years younger that you didn’t even give enough room for the possibility to breathe and potentially flourish.

“I’m going to need another drink before I have to face him.”

Tristan laughed. “So are we going to hide over here until that happens?”

“Maybe,” you shrugged. “But you can go get me another one to make me chill the fuck out.”

“Do you parent your children with that mouth?” he teased, taking your almost drink.

You nudged Tristan toward the bar and kept watch, Harry mingled with people you knew and some you didn’t--made his way around the room and up to the bar twice. You wondered if he’d meant all of the sweet things he said: I wanted to defend you, I’ve been waiting for this to happen.

If you’d known back then how you felt now--alone, sad, and filled with regret--you would have played your cards differently. But how were you supposed to know that something like this, something unexpected and strange would feel so right and could actually be what you needed?

After you finished the drink that Tristan returned with, you smoothed out the dress you were wearing and asked: “anything in my teeth?”

“No, but you look like an angry chihuahua.”

“Funny. Okay--if I look like I’m failing, come intervene and pretend to be super drunk or something.”

“I will not be doing that.”

“Okay,” you nodded, knowing it would be a tough sell. “Wish me luck.”

“Be brave!”

You elbowed into the crowd and snuck by groups of people, mumbled apologies as you tried to keep a new drink from spilling over the sides. He was with Jeff, a cocktail in hand when you came up behind him. Jeff’s eyes landed on you and then he tried to cut Harry off.

“Harry--”

“I just think it’s a bad idea, you know?”

Jeff’s eyes were wide when he greeted you. “Y/N--hi, we were just talking about the album.”

“Hi,” you bit out, forced a smile and tried to ignore the anxiety that buzzed down your spine.

They were talking about you, right? That level of intensity in Jeff’s eyes used to be reserved for nights when you’d snuck vodka from his parent’s liquor cabinet and now one of them came home earlier than expected.

You swallowed, wondered for a second if you should turn around and leave, grab Tristan and head for the door and hope you never had to see him again. “Sorry, I’m interrupting, I guess.”

“No,” Harry shook his head, stepped aside to let you move closer. “We were just talking business. How are you? I didn’t know if you’d come tonight.”

You didn’t know what to say to that, blinked a few times in confusion. You knew Jeff first--he was arguably your friend and Harry’s manager. If anyone was going to have claim over Jeff, it was you. You had thirty-two years of proof to back that up.

Jeff could sense this, he laughed a little and offered you a sarcastic grin. “Of course she’s here--she’s the sister I never wanted.”

You faked a laugh in his direction but then looked back at Harry, who’s eyes were glued to yours like his life depended on it.

Jeff nodded at his failed joke and the tension in the air, took a sip of his drink and looked between the two of you.

“Could Harry and I maybe talk for a minute, Jeff?”

He widened his eyes, wrinkled his forehead in surprise but then nodded quickly. “Yeah, sure--I’ll just--I’ll be over there.”

He hurried away, looked over his shoulder when Harry pursed his lips in a firm line and tried not to laugh at Jeff’s awkwardness.

“Hi,” you said quickly.

“Hi,” he smiled a bit. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“First time we’ve been at the same party, after all these years.”

He furrowed his brow. “M’starting to think Jeff was purposely keeping us apart.”

“That would explain a lot,” you laughed. “How are you?”

“Good,” he nodded. “How are you?”

“Also good,” you lied. “Yeah--busy, you know. The girls have a lot of extracurriculars but--”

It felt strange, interacting with him without the interruption of hands grabbing for snacks before dinner or pleading questions to stay up later and watch TV. He seemed to watch you closely, his lips set in a firm line when you trailed off.

“Right, is the body wash doing well?”

“Great, yeah, sales are through the roof,” you lifted your hand to gesture along with your words, then immediately felt stupid when he let out a tiny laugh that made your heart swell and break in the same moment. You had to spit it out, take a leap of faith and hope that you wouldn’t crash to the ground in failure.

“But, I actually just wanted to let you know--”

Of course--with your luck and your karma and apparently the entire universe now conspiring against you and Harry--someone put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey!” he turned to greet them, clearly excited and surprised. “Oh my god, I didn’t know you were coming!”

A man and woman, around your age, fancy clothes. They both hugged him, smiled apologetically at you when he angled his shoulders to face them and ask a thousand questions: when did you get to LA, how long will you be here, are you free for dinner this week?

You shifted on your feet uncomfortably and this prompted Harry to snap back to reality. “Sorry, Y/N, these are my friends Percy and Lillian,” he turned back to them. “You guys should go get drinks, the bartender is amazing.”

They nodded, moved in that direction when he called after them. “Get me another, just a sex on the beach.”

You pulled your head back and eyed him. “You drink sex on the beach?”

He laughed and looked back down at you, “I love peach schnapps--but, sorry, that was rude of me--you were going to say something?”

“Right,” you nodded, wind gone from your sails as you rerouted. “I just wanted to let you know that CeCe’s ballet recital is coming up. She’s been begging for you to come. I can text you the details?”

“Oh, right!” He smiled. “Yeah, text me, I’ll definitely be there. And I’m still good to do dinner with them this week if they’re up for it?”

“Oh, they’re up for it,” you admitted.

“And CeCe’s birthday is Thursday, right?”

“Right.”

“Great,” he leaned in and kissed you on the cheek, the Brit in him slipping out before he stammered. “Sorry--I just--I should go catch up with them.”

He rushed off at that, smiling when he rejoined his friends by the bar, completely unaware of the awkward conversation he’d just narrowly missed. Tristan, whose lips were wrapped around a paper straw, sidled up beside you with a disapproving look on his face.

“I can’t hear anything over the noise in here but I’m going to guess you didn’t actually tell him how you feel.”

“No,” you shrugged, “of course not. He and Jeff were definitely talking about me when I walked up and so that was weird and Harry said something about it being a bad idea. And then I was going to but those people showed up and then I panic-invited him to CeCe’s ballet recital!”

“Where Luke is supposed to be?”

“Where Luke is supposed to be,” you confirmed. “Because I’m a fucking idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot,” he frowned. “But that definitely just created more stress for you.”

“I know, it was dumb but I haven’t had more than one glass of wine in a few weeks and now I just think I should go home.”

“Boo,” he frowned. “Don’t be a party pooper. Have another drink and judge people with me.”

“I can’t even enjoy that right now because I’m so stupid.”

“Oh my god,” Tristan groaned. “Just go interrupt and tell him you love him or something!”

“You what?” Jeff was behind you when you turned around quickly.

“Nothing,” you shook your head, another sip to drown out his laughter on the other side of the room.

“You love him?”

“Why’d you ask what if you heard her?” Tristan made a face.

Jeff was serious, though, he wasn’t taking any bait. “Y/N, are you in love with him?”

You let out a groan and stomped a foot on the ground. Maybe it was the alcohol or the close proximity to someone you didn’t want to love, but you whined and answered him. “I don’t know, Jeffrey, okay? Now is not the time to discuss all of this.”

“You have to tell him that.”

“Yeah, well, why do you think I asked you to give us some time to talk?”

He pointed a finger to the floor. “You were going to tell him here?”

You rolled your eyes at all of his questions, and apparently, his shock at this discovery. “No, I don’t know. I was just going to see if he missed us or something, I don’t know!”

“Oh, he misses you,” Jeff nodded with confidence.

“Well whoever those people are showed up,” you gestured in their direction, threw your chin towards the girl who had better eyebrows than you and a smile as wide as the Mississippi. “Kind of interrupted.”

Jeff looked over and nodded, hands on his hips when he let out another breath, apparently still taking all of it in.

“Wait--speaking of interrupting, what was he saying when I came over? You did that whole wide-eyed shut the fuck up look you used to do when your mom would walk in the room.”

He sipped his drink casually when he recalled the moment. “It was nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

“It was nothing, Y/N!”

“He said something was a bad idea.”

“Yeah, music shit.”

“Or Y/N shit?” Tristan challenged, a flick to Jeffrey’s shoulder with his free hand.

Jeff rolled his eyes at both of you. “How many drinks have you people had?”

“Enough to handle being in the same room with him right now.”

“Wow,” Jeff nodded, unimpressed. “You really do love him.”

You smacked him in the chest playfully and ignored his statement. “Are you going to tell me what you were saying about me?”

“Oh my god,” he complained, a grand gesture to let you know just how annoying you were. “He just said that it feels really weird to not live with you guys--I told him to tell you that and he said he thinks that’s a bad idea. But then you interrupted us, so that’s all the intel I have.”

“See?” You turned to Tristan, “I knew this was all stupid. I would have told him that I miss him and he would have shot me down.”

“You don’t know that,” Jeff held up his hand.

“Then why did he say it would be a bad idea?”

He shook his head in disbelief, made a face like you were stupid. “Maybe you don’t know this, Y/N, but he was really hurt when you asked him to move out. I’ve seen him break up with people before but--that rocked his world.”

Jeff referenced the event like it was a distant memory, like it was more than two weeks that now stood between you and the fateful launch party.

“Well he hurt me when he was late and didn’t tell me. I don’t want to live my life always wondering if he’ll show up--I already did that with Luke.”

“He’s not Luke,” Jeff said seriously, his demeanor suddenly shifting. “But if you’re going to treat him like he is, then nothing will ever work between you two.”

You shrunk back, even in a half-drunk state you could tell you’d struck a nerve in Jeff. Tristan sipped at his drink again and the silence between the three of you felt deafening.

“I just think you need to be honest with him. If you have feelings for him, tell him.”

“That was the plan tonight,” you admitted. “Maybe it will work some other day.”

“Well you need to figure something out soon. I’m sick of both of you being so scared to admit it to the other.”

“You’re filling in the blanks for him,” you reminded. “He said it was a bad idea.”

“Because he doesn’t want to get hurt again,” Jeff nodded.

“Well neither do I!”

He slung an arm around your shoulder and let out a deep breath, shedding the anger that had previously laced his voice. “I know. Shockingly enough you both want the same thing and are afraid of the same thing. But one of you has to be brave enough to take the risk.”

Tristan tossed back the rest of his drink at that, when both you and Jeff looked over to him with amusement, he shrugged. “I need to be drunker if we’re going to keep talking about all of this deep shit.”

**

CeCe turning seven made you feel ancient. So ancient, in fact, that you woke up Thursday morning with a splitting headache and a sore back. The alcohol from Jeff’s birthday probably took a few days to work itself out of your body, so you spent the first half of the week drinking your bodyweight in water and popping advil.

You weren't sure what you’d done to deserve it, but CeCe’s birthday request was simple: bring a friend to a trampoline park, with Harry, no mom.

At first you were sad. She didn’t want to spend time with you? Was Maeve’s pre-pubescent attitude rubbing off on her at the ripe age of seven?

But then, when she screamed at her sister the night before because she was wearing purple which meant Maeve couldn’t wear purple, you were glad to have the night to yourself and even more glad to dump their bickering on Harry. If he was so keen on being in their lives, he’d get all of it: the bickering, the yelling, the occasional shoving and hair pulling.

He was timid again when he arrived to pick them up, like he didn’t know how to interact with someone with whom he’d once shared a bed. Booster seats strapped in, snacks packed in a bag you prepared for him, money, water bottles, a change of socks in case someone’s got dirty. Pizza, CeCe had been begging, and soda, and then ice cream on the way home.

He nodded when you ran through the plan again, a small smirk on his face that sent a shiver down your spine. “I’ve got it.”

“What are you smiling for?”

“Well, I mean, I know what I’m doing, Y/N--s’not the first time.”

“I know, but she’s seven now and her friend still needs to be home by 9pm and make sure Maeve doesn’t have too much soda or else she’ll be texting on her stupid phone all night.”

“I thought you were taking it from her at bedtime?”

You sighed, about to reply before he cut himself off and backtracked.

“Sorry--not my place, I don’t--anyway. Okay,” he looked down at the four girls. Maeve and Hayley, CeCe and Lily. How on earth he felt comfortable bringing the four of them in public was unknown--probably would be until the day you died--but you practiced going with the flow and let out another exhale.

You were trying to play it cool in more ways than one. Cool mom, not anxious about sending her children off with a famous celebrity who had somehow doubled as the world’s best babysitter or stand-in father-figure. And then casual, nonchalant previous hook-up who didn’t have any feelings about interfacing with Harry despite all that had occurred between you. You’d practiced in your mirror a few times before she showed up, but nothing prepared you for the climbing heartbeat when he rested a hand on CeCe’s head lovingly.

“Okay, Maeve, call me if you need anything. Hayley--your mom already texted me so I’ll keep her updated if you guys are going to be late, but text her when you get to the trampoline park, okay?”

Hayley nodded and Maeve rolled her eyes. CeCe brushed hair out of her face. “Are we good? I have jumping to do.”

Harry stifled a laugh and looked back to you. “We’re good. I’ll text you, enjoy your night.”

They piled in and buckled before you could even shut the garage door and head inside. You poured some wine and stared out into the backyard for a moment, wondering how on earth you’d settled in this house and into a life you almost didn’t recognize. Just a year ago you were finalizing your divorce, trying to figure out where you’d end up, watching your father decline in health as Maeve started wearing a training bra.

Now they were choosing Harry over you and suddenly your family felt more incomplete than it ever had, simply because he moved out.

But instead of sulking in regret, you put on a movie and ordered your own take out. At only 7pm you were already struggling to keep your eyes open, but a vibrating from the end table pulled you back to the movie you were already bored of.

You grabbed your phone and saw it was Harry--a knot in your stomach twisted and tugged when you answered.

“Hi,”

“Hi, uh, everything’s fine, we’re okay, but Maeve maybe broke her arm? I don’t know--Lily’s mom is on her way to come get her and Hayley, so that’s good, but Maeve needs to go to the emergency room.”

“What the fuck happened, Harry, how did she hurt herself?”

You were already up and on your feet, flip flops on and keys in hand when you tugged a sweatshirt over your head but kept spouting off questions.

“Were you not watching them? Is she okay? What hospital?”

“She landed on it wrong, it might just be a sprain or something! Just come and I’ll tell you everything, okay? She’s alright, the EMTs already wrapped her up--”

“She’s going in an ambulance?!”

You were in the car now, heart beating rapidly when your mouth felt dry and the ignition turned on.

“I’ll meet you at the Cedars Sinai in Tarzana, okay? Breathe, Y/N,”

You hung up without another word, blew a red light on the way there and wondered if this was your punishment for being the worst mom ever. Had all of your bad decisions somehow come back to bite you in the ass, or break Maeve’s arm?

Was letting Harry take them to a crowded trampoline park a mistake? Did he get recognized and mobbed and Maeve was a casualty? The questions flew through your head as you flew down the freeway, but you couldn’t shake one particular thought: thank God Harry was calm.

If you were going to be this elevated and out of breath before you even found them in the hospital, someone needed to keep his cool and be able to remember the doctor’s orders.

You pushed into the emergency department of the hospital he’d directed you to in under 13 minutes. A sticker on your chest and a nurse who brought you down a hall to a room with a curtain pulled shut. When she opened it, Maeve was in the bed and CeCe was sat in a chair beside her, Harry paced back and forth.

His eyes were wide when he turned to see you, but you didn’t acknowledge him.

“Sweetie? Hi, what happened, are you okay?”

Harry moved closer to you, but gave you enough space to inspect your daughter.

“I’m fine,” Maeve rolled her eyes when you pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I’m fine, too,” CeCe said in the corner with an attitude. “It’s still my birthday, you know.”

“How could we forget?” Harry offered her a smile.

“What happened?” You turned around and asked this with force.

“What do you mean what happened? I told you on the phone, she was jumping and messing around and she just landed on it wrong. It was an accident.”

“I’m fine, mom--it hurts but I’m fine, you don’t have to make this a big thing,” Maeve argued again from behind you. You held out a finger to silence her, this wasn’t the moment for her to get involved.

“Were you watching her closely enough, Harry? How many kids were around? You can’t just let her go off and mess around at a place like that, there are so many limbs flailing about, it’s dangerous.”

“There wasn’t anyone else in there,” Harry shrugged.

“What do you mean?”

He sighed, almost like he didn’t want to admit it. “I rented it out--I didn’t want anyone else there to, you know, steal the spotlight in case they knew who I was.”

You paused, looked from him to Maeve to CeCe and back. “You rented out a trampoline park for a 7-year-old’s birthday party?”

“Well, she’s not just any 7-year-old,” Harry smiled a little.

“No I’m not!” CeCe sang with excitement.

You gave him a smack across the arm. “Harry!”

“Oh my god, can you relax?” Maeve groaned.

You turned around to tell her to shut it--with a smile, of course--but the doctor pushed her way through a curtain and smiled.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Patel, you’re the mom?”

“Yes,” you nodded, crossed your arms and watched as she pushed x-rays up onto a screen.

“Good news is that it’s not broken all the way through, but there’s a fracture. We’ll do a cast for four weeks and do another x-ray then, see how it looks.”

“Okay,” you said, taking it all in. “But she’s alright? She’ll heal okay?”

“She’ll be fine,” Dr. Patel smiled. “The fracture is right here,” she pointed to the screen when she shoved the x-ray up in front of the light. “Four weeks and I’m sure she’ll heal perfectly. She needs to rest, for sure. Ice it tonight, there’s a pediatric orthopedist I recommend for the cast, we can get you an appointment tomorrow. Advil to handle pain over the next week or so but she should feel much better in a few days.”

“I told you,” Maeve snarled.

CeCe was happy sucking on a lollipop, a sticker on her shirt said Birthday Girl in sparkly pink lettering and you didn’t know if it was from the trampoline park or a friendly person in the Cedars Sinai emergency department.

Harry also had his arms crossed over his chest. Dr. Patel smiled and reported that a nurse would be in to give you discharge paperwork and verify an appointment time for Maeve’s cast. When you turned around to see her again, Maeve said: “don’t be mad at Harry.”

“Of course,” you rolled your eyes.

“Of course what?” Maeve asked.

“Of course you say don’t be mad at Harry--”

“Why would you be mad at me?”

“I don’t know! Cause she broke her arm on your watch,” you said, aware of how your emotions were getting the best of you. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do in front of the girls, maybe this was just another reason why you were winning the award for worst mom of the year.

“Fractured,” Maeve corrected.

“It’s not my fault,” Harry said quickly.

“Well you were the adult there,” you shot back.

“Don’t fight on my birthday!” CeCe whined.

“Typical parents,” Maeve rolled her eyes.

“He’s not your father,” you spit it out without thinking, words that caught everyone off guard and soon hovered in the air overhead when the room fell silent.

Maeve made a face, Harry let his gaze fall to the ground, his lips pursed into a thin line when he looked back up and changed the subject.

“CeCe, I heard there’s ice cream downstairs in the cafeteria if you want some?”

She perked right up at that, stood from her chair and then took his hand to head out of the room and down the hall.

Once it was just you and Maeve, she looked at you and waited.

“What?”

“You’re not going to yell at me?”

“I don’t exactly have it in me right now,” you admitted.

“I know Harry’s not my dad, just to be clear.”

You sighed, about to reply when she cut you off.

“But it feels like that sometimes. I mean, dad’s never around and Harry’s been around so much and you two--”

“I know,” you nodded. “I get it. Believe me.”

It was confusing, and if it was confusing for you, you could only imagine how confusing it was for them. Harry had become a fixture in their lives and someone they could count on, even more than they could count on their own father. And in Maeve’s defense, Harry did act like a parent in a lot of ways. Carpools, cooking, chasing them around the yard--you couldn’t be mad at Maeve for noticing the ways Harry undeniably fit into your family. She wasn’t the enemy, even when she called you on your feelings for him or pointed out the obvious chemistry. She was just observant and hopeful and innocently hoping that Harry would stick around forever. You could relate.

So it wasn’t worth getting worked up--the nurse came in and went over the aftercare plan and Maeve was in better spirits when Harry and CeCe returned with a dish of soft serve with her name on it. She complained in the parking lot that she wanted to ride in Harry’s car and when they both chose to ride with him, he shrugged innocently but promised he’d meet you at home.

He was only a few minutes behind you, let himself in the side door with both of them trailing him when you put the lid on your take out and slid it into the fridge.

“Sorry for interrupting your alone time,” he said with a nod at the half-empty bottle of wine on the island.

“Mommy, do I get another birthday since Maeve ruined mine?”

“I didn’t ruin yours,” Maeve gave her a light shove with her hip. “You got to stay up way past your bedtime, see? It’s already almost 11pm.”

“Which means both of you need to get up there and brush your teeth,” you informed them. “Say goodnight to Harry.”

CeCe filed over first, wrapped her arms around his legs and squeezed. “‘Night Harry thank you for ice cream and jumping!”

“You’re welcome, lovie,” he said, a hand on her head to smooth down her hair.

“Thanks for letting me ride in the ambulance by myself, mom never would have let me,” Maeve said when she wrapped her good arm around him.

“You went alone?” You stopped wiping the counter and looked up at them, somehow that detail got lost in the shuffle and just now clicked.

“And she’s fine and she’s home now, so,” Harry bit back a laugh when you exhaled with force.

“Okay, I can help you brush up, Maeve--I’ll be up in a second.”

CeCe took off at that, her feet disappeared up the stairs when Maeve looked at you, then Harry, then back at you. “I can do it, or CeCe can help. I’m fine, if you want to--I don’t know. Goodnight!”

Was she trying to give you two a minute alone? You made a face when she climbed the stairs but then found Harry smiling at you.

‘“What?”

“She’s trying to give us a minute alone,” he nodded, somehow aware of the thoughts in your head. You felt your cheeks flush at the immaturity of the moment, somehow your twelve-year-old was more in tune with the awkwardness in the kitchen than you were.

You stifled a laugh and stood frozen in place, unsure of what to say or how to behave. A part of you wanted to admit everything: the regret, the remorse, the way you wished he was down the hall or in the other room or simply a phone call away.

Blurting all of that out in your kitchen felt stupid and unpolished, so you put your hands on your hips and shifted your weight from one foot to another. Harry looked at the clock on the wall.

“Do you, uh, want a glass of wine?”

Maybe it was a stupid offer--it was late, the girls had to go to sleep--but something in you wanted to tug him close and ask him to never leave.

He hesitated for a moment, scanned your face, but then nodded. “Sure.”

He watched you reach for glasses and moved to sit at the island. When you corked the bottle and poured, he cleared his throat.

“I, uh, stand by the fact that Maeve getting hurt wasn’t my fault--” he smirked a little, “but, I’m sorry and I’m glad she’s okay.”

“Me too,” you agreed, pushing a glass towards him. “I guess that’s why they make you sign a waiver.”

“I know you think it’s dumb that I rented the whole place out, but I think it was a smart move, that way Maeve doesn’t have to be all embarrassed about being taken out on a stretcher.”

He ran a hand through his hair and laughed, the image of your embarrassed pre-teen brought a selfish smile to your face. He held his glass up and waited for you to clink yours against it. “To Maeve’s speedy healing and to CeCe’s seventh birthday.”

You sighed, “I can’t believe she’s seven. Makes me feel ancient.”

“You’re not ancient.”

“I have a twelve-year-old and a seven-year-old. I think that makes me ancient.”

He rolled his eyes at your theatrics. “How do you think people with twenty-year-olds feel?”

“Even worse,” you grimaced.

He smiled up at you when you set your glass back down. “Sorry we didn’t really get to talk at Jeff’s birthday--I know I was busy and distracted.”

“It’s okay. I just wanted to make sure you knew about CeCe’s recital.”

“It’s on my calendar.” An awkward beat. “Is Luke going to be there?”

“Supposedly, he should be.”

Harry nodded, took a loud sip and looked around the room.

“How’s the house coming?”

“Good, yeah--been moving a lot of stuff in. Haven’t stayed over yet, but probably next week. It’ll be weird to live alone, though, haven’t done it in a while.”

“The girls really miss you,” you nodded, a playful eye roll to gauge his reaction. “I haven’t heard the end of it.”

“They do?”

Hope in his eyes when you nodded.

“Of course they do,” you laughed like it should have been obvious, like he should have known about their constant begging to see him or their recounting of happy memories. Remember when Harry said, remember when we, I miss being able to…

“I miss them, too.” Quiet for a moment when he looked at the wine in his glass. He looked up slowly, met your gaze before he shrugged like the words were casual or unimportant. “I miss you.”

When you didn’t say anything he stood up, a step closer to you while you tried to gather your thoughts, your words, offer up anything other than a blank stare brought on by butterflies and beating hearts.

“Mommy, are you coming?” CeCe was at the top of the stairs, her face barely visible around the corner and through her messy hair. “Maeve can’t brush my hair.”

“Coming,” you nodded, eyes on his for a second when he let out an exhale, you lowered your voice to speak only to him. “Sorry.”

He nodded, chest deflated when he took a step back. “S’probably for the best, right?”

Your lips parted to speak, but he turned on his feet and grabbed for his keys on the counter.

“CeCe--I’ll see you next week at the recital, okay? Keep practicing those pirouettes!” He made a funny face at her, a toothy grin when she giggled and then he waved over his shoulder. A half-empty wine glass on the counter was soon the other reminder of his presence when you climbed the stairs.

**

Getting CeCe dressed and ready to go was always a nightmare. Getting Maeve dressed in something that would compliment her cast, not clash with it, was a new dilemma that had you praying the next three weeks would fly by.

With the school year coming to a close and both of your children eager for summer to hit with full force, they were in better spirits despite the clothing dilemma that had plagued your house before CeCe’s recital.

She was three minutes late but still let you kiss her on the head when you pushed her off to join the other leotard-clad kiddos backstage. You found your seats with the Azoffs and Tristan, wondered if Luke or Harry would actually show up like they’d promised.

“‘Scuse me, sorry, m’just heading right there,” you heard his voice before you saw him, felt your shoulders rise up to your ears when you felt Tristan shift beside you to make room for him. He was cutting it close and by the look on his face when your eyes met his, he knew it.

“Hi,” he said it quietly, almost uncertain if you’d reply or give a greeting at all. You offered a tiny smile, Tristan patted him on the thigh once he took his seat.

“Harry!” Maeve grinned when she leaned down and saw him. “Mom, can me and Tristan switch so I can sit next to Harry?”

You were caught off guard by her question, fumbled with the program in hand when Tristan answered for you.

“Of course,” he said, stood and side stepped your daughter as she climbed over your lap.

Maeve threw her arms around Harry when she was close enough. “I have so much to catch you up on with Hayley!”

He smiled at that, hugged her back and then brushed hair out of her face when she sat. “We’re due for a guitar lesson, we can still work on strumming even with the cast on,” he told her. “Maybe we can catch up then.”

He glanced in your direction, another awkward smile when you felt the let down wash over you again.

You tried--you had made so much effort to shift your definition of family to let him fit in it. But sometimes people were too different and goals were too different and sometimes family doesn’t mean happily ever after, just like you always knew.

And you’d tried to tell him, piece together words to explain how you felt and what you wanted, but things always got in the way. Maybe the universe was trying to save you more embarrassment or maybe that was just an excuse you landed on to save yourself any more sleepless nights.

“He smells so good, by the way,” Tristan whispered into your ear, gaining an eye roll from you when the curtain opened. The audience erupted in applause, the sounds of happy parents filled the auditorium when a herd of first graders fell into place in pink tutus.

“There she is!” Maeve pointed up at the stage, a grin on her face so wide you could count her teeth.

CeCe’s face lit up when she found you all in the crowd, but when her eyes settled on Harry, she couldn’t hide her excitement. She waved and jumped up and down a little, gaining composure only when the music started to play.

She twirled around with grace, much more than you’d seen her carry in the backyard during squishball or the knock down, drag out fights she’d been known to have with her sister. She made it through the dance numbers with ease, and you didn’t even realize you were nervous for her until Tristan pried his leg free from your grasp: you’re hurting me.

There were only a few minutes of awkwardness when the show ended. Maeve told Harry about a science project and he shifted on his feet, stealing glances in your direction every few seconds. He excused himself to the restroom only seconds before CeCe burst through the door with a grin on her face, glitter on her cheeks and a ribbon in her hair.

“Did you see me mommy?!”

“I did see you!” You knelt down to squeeze her tight. “You were graceful and poised and you looked absolutely stunning! We got you flowers,” you motioned to the roses in Tristan’s arms, he smiled when he handed them over to her. They were almost as tall as she was but she wrapped both arms around the bouquet.

“You did really good,” Maeve admitted. “And the tutu looks great.”

She was distracted now, her eyes found Harry in the crowd as he walked back from the bathroom, both hands in his pockets until he heard her call his name. “Harry!”

“Hi lovie,” he knelt down and opened his arms. “You did so well! Did you have fun?”

“So much fun!” She giggled. “I didn’t know if you’d come!”

“Of course I came,” he said, his smile faltering a little when he looked up at you. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

You bit your tongue, now wasn’t the time to break your own rule: no shit talking in front of the girls. Sure, it was a rule you first adopted post-Luke, but now it almost felt like talking badly about Harry would hurt them more to hear than if you bad-mouthed their own father.

Maeve looked excitedly in your direction. “Mom, can Harry come to dinner tonight with everyone?”

He stood up now, hand on top of CeCe’s hair when he waited for an answer from you.

You were torn, bit at your lip for a second before you realized you needed to spit out some kind of answer. Your heart wanted him there and with you always, an addition to your family that you never knew you needed or wanted until he was literally under your roof. But your head was nervous, certain that the only thing that would come from this was more heartbreak and more confusion--and that was something that nobody needed.

“Yeah, sure--of course.”

CeCe clapped and jumped up and down again, looking up at her sister. “We can play squishball! I’ll race you to the car!”

They took off, climbed into the backseat and laughed the whole way home when you tried to prevent the headache that you could feel coming on. Jeff beat you back, Shelli and Irv too--soon the grill was on and Jeff wore an apron with handprints from three Christmases ago. Best Uncle Ever.

A few of CeCe’s friends and their parents tagged along, and soon you were handing out glasses of wine to other moms and wishing it didn’t hurt to see him help Maeve put her hair up in a pony-tail.

You kept yourself busy as host, do you need another drink, thanks for coming, we love the neighborhood. Anything to keep you from staring at him from across the backyard wondering what on earth he meant when he said s’probably for the best.

But he was calm, talked with Jeff and Irv and stood by the grill to help pass around plates when dinner was ready. He helped CeCe cut her burger in half and laughed when Maeve pulled out the waterproof wrap she’d convinced you to buy on Amazon so she could still go swimming.

He didn’t speak to you, though, quick glances your way when you’d reply to someone else--talking up and down and all around each other as if direct acknowledgement might cause the house to catch fire.

It was unavoidable, though, when he wandered towards the front of the house with his head buried in his phone, unaware that he’d caught you in a private moment.

The beep of Luke’s voicemail had your blood boiling, and you’d probably leave a string of threats had Harry not looked up and realized, finally, it was just the two of you in the driveway.

“Sorry,” he said awkwardly, eyes glancing around to confirm that no one else was nearby.

“No, it’s fine.” You pulled the phone away from your face and hung up. “I was just trying to get a hold of Luke. He said he’d come but then he didn’t show up. Now he’s not answering my calls, so--”

“Seems like nothing’s changed,” he nodded, disappointment in his voice when he shoved a hand in his pocket.

You let out an awkward laugh both at Harry’s sentiment and presence. “Yeah, well, I don’t know if we can ever really expect it to, right?”

“Right.”

The music from the backyard wafted over the roof, a car drove by outside the gate and he looked at you for a second before forcing out more small talk.

“How’s work been?”

“Good,” you nodded, an uncomfortable burn in your chest when you realized he now fell in the category of people who don’t know. He didn’t know how your meetings went, he didn’t know what you wanted for dinner. He didn’t know what Maeve was learning in math and he didn’t know about CeCe’s loose tooth.

“How’re things with you?”

“Good--my house is done, and I’m pretty much all moved in, so that’s nice.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, it’s kind of quiet, you know. No yelling down the hall or noise from the backyard.”

You forced a laugh, “must be nice.”

“It’s miserable, actually.”

You looked up at that, caught off guard by the emotion and seriousness in his voice. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” he laughed like you were crazy, kept himself in check but then shrugged. “I just--I don’t know. I miss being here with you three.”

“Yeah, well, it’s been kind of shitty here without you, too.”

He took a step closer to you at that, eyebrows knit together on his forehead like he’d been waiting to ask: “Why did you make me leave?”

You searched for an answer, let out a few squeaks when he seemed to hang on every word. “Because I didn’t know what was happening, everything moved so quickly between us and--”

“You were scared?”

“That’s what everyone keeps saying.”

He let out a sigh. “I know what happened between us was weird and unexpected, but that doesn’t make it wrong.”

“I know,” you nodded, honesty pouring out of you like floodgates had been opened. “I think I just pulled back when I panicked and--I don’t know. I tried to avoid what ended up happening.”

The corner of his mouth pulled up into a smirk, another step closer. “Which was?”

“You leaving and all of us being heartbroken.”

He smirked, parted his lips to speak but you cut him off. “Instead of waiting for it to possibly happen, I became the queen of self-fulfilling prophecies.”

As if on cue, CeCe burst through the front door as she searched for you. When she looked up to see both of you in the driveway, she smiled. “Am I interrupting something?”

“No,” you rolled your eyes and laughed, surprised again by her wit and charm.

“CeCe,” Harry kneeled down, held out a hand to usher her over. “Do you remember what you told me about your art project when we went for pizza, that night a few weeks ago when you got a blue gumball from the machine near the bathroom?”

“Hmm,” she thought on it for a second. “The one with Mrs. Platsky?”

“Yeah--that one.”

“What about it?” She asked.

“Can you tell mommy what you drew?”

“Well, first she asked to draw what we thought of when we thought of ‘home’ a while ago, like a few weeks ago, I think. But then the next week she helped us make family trees and I drew mine with purple leaves,” she smiled excitedly and giggled when Harry nodded.

“Do you have that somewhere?”

“Yeah, in my backpack probably!”

“Do you want to get it so we can show mom?”

This made her nervous, she looked down to her feet, still in ballet slippers. “Well, yeah, but mom said we had to stop acting like we were a family.”

He looked down at her and then up at you, a small smile on his face when she shrugged one shoulder. “I was never acting, for the record.”

You held back a laugh, rolled your eyes at his smooth remark.

“Okay, I’ll go get it,” CeCe nodded, apparently that was enough for her. She ran off, back into the house to search for whatever it was, and for some reason, tears filled your eyes when he stood back up and looked at you.

“I don’t know what your definition of family is, but I can tell you mine.”

You tried to wipe at your eyes to hide any evidence of emotion, but he caught your hands and held them in his.

“I think of people I love, people I feel like I can be myself with. I think about this house, and your daughters, and I think about you. I think about the stupid fights that they have and I think about how happy I would be if I got to see them go off to prom or to college or on their first date--but that one makes me really nervous, actually.”

You laughed at that, the crack of a smile on your face brought one to his.

“I also didn’t expect this to turn out the way it did, but I don’t care if you’re thirty-two and I don’t care if you have children, because I love them, too. And I would rather be here in this house with a nontraditional definition of family than on my own in Malibu.”

You nodded, let him wrap his arms around you when you felt your forehead hit his shoulder. And because there was no privacy in this house or in this family, Maeve also burst through the door and smiled wide.

“Are you guys hugging?!”

“Does it look like we’re hugging?” Harry teased, opening an arm so Maeve could squeeze her way in.

She wrapped her arms around you, “I’ve been waiting for you guys to figure it out.”

“I found it, I found it!” CeCe came running out again, by now Jeff had wandered out too, Irv and Shelli looked on while Zoey came out to the driveway with Benny on her hip to see the commotion.

Harry knelt down again, helped CeCe unroll a piece of construction paper that had, as promised, purple leaves.

“Here’s you, mom, you’re up here near Grandpa,” she smiled. “Then daddy’s over here, and Harry’s here, then Maeve is next to me. Then Auntie Shelli and Uncle Irv are here with Uncle Jeff--and then Benny’s here, I drew a little baby, see?”

“I do see,” you placed a hand on top of her head, smiled through tears as she pointed around to all of the people who loved you, all of the people who you could be yourself with, all of the people standing around watching as CeCe proudly displayed her family tree.

“Mom,” Maeve tugged at your arm again. “I don’t mean to put you on the spot with everyone here, but I think now would be a good time to tell Harry you like him.”

Shelli let out a laugh, wrapped an arm around Irv when Tristan shouted: “I agree, Y/N, I think now’s a good time.”

You looked around at all of them, half embarrassed, but settled and content and actually happy. Then your eyes settled on Harry, a coy smirk as he looked at you expectantly.

“Do I really have to say it?”

“Mmm,” he nodded, “I think you do.”

“Fine,” you sighed, motioning a hand around the driveway. “With everyone as my witness, I think you’re pretty cool.”

Maeve cleared her throat, “and you love him.”

You tried to fight a smile, looked at Harry when he grinned down at Maeve. “You can tell your mom I love her, too.”

CeCe had crawled her way up to Jeff’s shoulders now, a big smile on her face. “Oh just kiss already!” she giggled.

Harry’s eyes went wide in her direction, “how did you know I wanted to do that?”

“I’m just smart,” she shrugged. “I know lots of things.”

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AN: FRIENDS! Thank you for always joining me on the journey I create. All of the comments and messages and reblogs mean the world to me and I feel so lucky that people want to read the random shit I write and make up in my head. I've added a playlist for this chapter you can find here in case you want to really feel the feels during this one. Stay tuned for more stories!!!!

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Harry likes his hair played with.

Y/N loves Harry’s hair.

Like, really... really loves it.

It’s gotten to a certain length in which it’s not super curly anymore, but there’s still a slight wave to it, and Y/N loves it.

She runs her fingers through it whenever she can, and she’s even gone as far as to making it her job to wash his hair when they shower together.

“I can wash my own hair, lovie,” Harry chuckles, wrapping his arms around Y/N’s waist as she works the shampoo into a lather on his scalp.

“I know,” she smiles, “but I like doing it for you... so, hush.” She playfully sticks her tongue out at him, making him chuckle again, and close his eyes as he enjoys the head massage Y/N throws in while giving his hair a good wash.

She reminisces on the nice memory as she’s sat on the couch with Harry, her left leg propped up while her right is bent, sort of in a criss-cross fashion (if her left leg were crossed as well) and her fingers — of course — tangled in Harry’s hair. Her nails scrape across his scalp, making him purr almost at the sensation, and she bops him on the nose with her free hand.

“That feels nice; like my own personal ASMR.” His voice is almost slurred, practically in a trance from the soothing stimulus. “Don’t stop.”

“Are we still talking about me playing with your hair?” Y/N jokes.

Harry juts her in the side with his elbow softly, a smirk playing on his lips. “Nothing but a filthy mind, aren’t ya? I’m sitting here enjoying a nice scalp massage, and you turned it dirty.”

“I learned from the best.” She pulls her hands from his hair to reach for her phone, earning her a low whine from Harry.

“Nuh-uh,” he pleads. “Keep going.” He grabs her wrists and leads her hands back to his hair, placing her fingers poised up on their tips on his scalp. She doesn’t budge, knowing Harry will get whiny soon, and she likes to see that. He lets out a child-like plea, begging for her to continue what she was doing earlier, and it makes Y/N giggle. “Baby...” He takes it upon himself to move her fingers for her, although not being satisfied with the result. “I want you to do it.”

She gives in, moving her fingers at her own will in small, circular motions to appease her boyfriend. “Spoiled,” she teases.

“M’no’ spoiled.” Y/N yanks at his hair — a bit firmly — and Harry groans. “Okay, maybe I am a li’l.”

“A lot.” She twirls a piece of hair that had fallen on his forehead. “I’ve been doing this for half an hour.”

“Don’t act like you don’t love it. I know you do.”

“Whatever.” She yanks at his hair again, giggling.

“I’d play with your hair too, but you never let me.” A pout appears on his lips, as well as a frown-y expression making his eyebrows pinch together.

“Because my hair gets frizzy if you play with it when it’s dry!”

“I could play with it in the mornings before you shower.”

Y/N hadn’t thought of that. “Oh, my God, you’re right.”

“Aren’t I always?”

Y/N pulls her hands from his hair once more, making him gasp and lay his head in her lap. “No, I’m sorry!” He places her hands back in his hair, his hands atop hers, and their fingers linked together. “Please, keep going.”

“That’s what I thought. Now, put on the newest season of Stranger Things. I know you didn’t watch it because when I brought up the Mind Flayer, you didn’t know what I was taking about.”

Harry would do anything if it meant Y/N could play with his hair forever.

STOP!!!! ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE IS MY FAVORITE STORY EVER AND THIS WAS JUST PHENOMENAL!!!! I need to know how she reacts to Harry’s confessionnnn!!!!

Ahhh ily so much and ok here we go…

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