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What! The! Fuck!?!

fun things to slip into conversation include

“i’m kinda fucking w/ the fourth wall here but-”

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

Well got bored

D&D Class Cocktails

I originally just wanted to make cocktails for my players based on their character classes, but then I got a little too much into it and made ones for each of the twelve D&D classes! Two of them are from a Youtube channel that does this all the time (part of what inspired me to do so) and you can find links to them for the Vicious Mockery and Eldritch Patron drinks. The ones that I ended up spending time (and money) making I was able to take Insta-worthy pics of for the post. Either way, enjoy!

Barbarian Rage

½ oz Lime Juice

1 oz Tequila

1 can Stout

Lime Wedge

I feel like anything that has a head on it counts as a barbarian’s drink, but this one also has tequila to fuel the rage. Pour the stout into a tankard, crush the can against your head. Pour the tequila and lime juice into a 1.5 oz shot glass. Dunk the shot into the tankard, then crush the lime with your bare hands over the drink, ignoring the pain from any cuts sustained through combat, and drop it in. Enjoy.

Vicious Mockery

¼ Orange, Muddled

1 ½ oz. Spiced Rum

1 oz. Jaegermeister

Several dashes Peychaud’s Bitters, to taste

Orange Twist for garnish

From the lovely people over at Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies. I mean if it ain’t broken don’t fix it. Muddle the orange quarter, add the spiced rum, Jaeger, bitters, and ice, then mix and garnish with the orange twist. Bound to deal d4s of psychic damage.

Turn Undead

½ oz Elderflower Liqueur

2 oz White Rum

2 oz White Cranberry Juice

¼ oz Lime Juice

4 Basil Leaves

Club Soda

This is meant to look clear (or close to it) as if it’s pure enough to turn undead itself. Kinda like boozy holy water. Muddle two of the basil leaves. Shake the muddled basil, rum, cranberry juice, elderflower liqueur, and lime juice with ice. Then strain into a glass and top with the club soda and garnish with remaining basil.

Druidcraft

1½ oz Gin

1 oz Elderflower liqueur

½ oz Honey

¾ oz Lemon Juice

2 oz Club Soda

1 tsp Culinary Lavender

3 Sage Leaves

I actually make this one a lot… I just named it for this post. It’s very floral and light, like you would expect from a druid. Shake together the gin, elderflower liqueur, honey, lemon juice, lavender, and two muddled sage leaves with ice, then strain into a glass. Garnish with the remaining sage leaf. Little bits of the lavender getting in the drink is fine. If you don’t want to slurp them up you can easily use a straw too.

Action Surge

1 ¾ oz Vodka

¼ oz Triple Sec

4 oz Surge Soda

Splash Cranberry Juice

2 lime slices

2 maraschino cherries

This one was very tasty. Prepare a highball glass with lime slices and some maraschino cherries and half-fill with ice. Mix the vodka, triple sec, and Surge together (don’t shake, it’s soda). Pour into the prepared glass and top with a splash of the cranberry juice. Besides the Surge pun, the red slowly combining with the green almost seems like it’s the blood pumping through the fighter as they proceed to literally take an entire extra turn.

Flurry of Blows

1 oz Gin

½ oz Triple Sec

½  oz Peach Schnapps

½  oz Lemon Juice

1 oz Ginger Ale or Ginger Beer

1-2 Leaves Basil

A series of three shots to take. Careful, one is a Stunning Strike and hits much harder than the other two! Muddle your basil leaves and stir with the lemon juice and ginger ale/beer. Put the peach schnapps into one 1.5 oz shot glass, the triple sec into another, and the gin into the third. Top off each shot glass with the lemon-ginger-basil mixture. Ideally, only the one with the gin will really do anything.

Divine Smite

½ c. Apple Cider

½ tbsp Maple Syrup

1 oz Whiskey

Fresh Rosemary

2 Dried Rosemary Sprigs

This one was very good. Burn some dried rosemary and place the glass upside-down over it to let the smoke coat the inside of the glass. Shake fresh rosemary, cider, maple syrup, and whiskey with ice and strain into the smoked glass. For garnish, burn another rosemary twig, blow it out, and drop into the drink so it lets off smoky wisps. The theory for this one is the smoke is the aftermath of the paladin’s smite. I used a martini glass because I have a limited variety of glasses but I feel like the garnish floats too much. If I did it again I might use a lowball glass with rocks to keep the rosemary in place.

Hunter’s Mark

2 oz Maker’s Mark Bourbon

1 oz Lemon Juice

1 tsp Cane Sugar

Club Soda

Lemon Round

Hopefully the pun resonates. Shake the bourbon, lemon juice, and sugar with ice and strain into a lowball glass. Top with a bit of club soda and garnish with a lemon round pierced with a toothpick right through the bullseye. I did a hack job turning the toothpick into an arrow. You could probably get away with those hors d'oeuvres toothpicks that have the colorful frilled tips for the arrow’s fletching.

Sneak Attack

5-6 oz Orange Juice

1 oz Peach Schnapps

2 oz Vodka

Cream Soda

Orange Twist

Red Syrup (I just made 2:1, sugar:water ratio of simple syrup with red food coloring; grenadine was too runny when I tried it)

Named because the alcohol is completely hidden by the sugary drink. It will indeed sneak up on you. Dip the rim of the glass in the red syrup, then turn over so it drips down the glass. Stir the orange juice and vodka and pour into the glass without touching the sides (I don’t own a highball glass but that would probably look nicer). Top the drink with cream soda. Garnish with an orange twist (use those little plastic swords if you have em!)

Maximized Fireball

2 oz Fireball Shiskey

1 oz Dry Vermouth

1 Dash of Bitters

Orange Twist

Cinnamon Stick Soaked in Bacardi 151

Stir the ingredients together with ice then strain into a lowball glass. Garnish with a “flamed” orange twist (squeezed over a lit match into the glass). Light the cinnamon stick on fire, then drop into the drink. I know Fireball gets a lot of flack but I mean, come on, it’s the name of the spell. You could try that Tabasco whiskey instead if you hate Fireball. 

Eldritch Patron

2 oz Gin

½ oz Vermouth

¼ oz Black Sambuca

3 Dashes Black Walnut Bitters

Green Maraschino Cherries

Another one from Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies. Stir the gin, vermouth, Sambuca and bitters with ice then strain into a martini glass. Garnish with the green cherries. Looks like alien eyeballs in an inky darkness, as it should.

The Spellbook

12 oz Pinot Grigio

2 oz Blue Curacao

2 oz Lemonade

2 oz Simple Syrup

Blue Petal Dust (optional)

Orange Juice

Lemon-Lime soda

Fruits like oranges, cherries, and starfruit, cut into slices

Mix all the ingredients into a punch bowl, then add equal parts orange juice and the soda to fill it out. Add the fruit slices. I used starfruit because it looks wizardy, but you can always add whatever you want to your Spellbook, as long as you spend gold and time based on the spell's level. The blue petal dust can be used to make the drink opalescent, though I imagine it will be less apparent in a big bowl. Try mixing it individual glasses.

7d69b0 - 9279b4 - a78ab8 - bc99b9 - d2a9bb - d0b5be - cfc1c0 - babec0 - a5babf - 96b8c1

This sure as hell ain't funny anymore

my mood for 2020