Oddly Specific Thing That I Relate To

testing my new alcohol markers

i am collecting them like pokemons

by drawing my favourite RPF

(literally gossipy ass bitches)

𝟏𝟗𝟔𝟒.

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓮 𝓘𝓼 𝓢𝓮𝓽!

𝙎𝘼𝘾𝙍𝙄𝙁𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝙎𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎

John’s Letters To Aunt Mimi

Dear Mimi,

We are in the bougie part of London, and we had such a lovely sunny March day (which is a lovely yet rare occurrence during springtime!) and we are making a motion picture. Can you believe it?! Yeah, I can’t either.

It’s fab as now people say because of us four! Gosh, I am so proud of them and me of course! Can’t forget about me!

Today was a long long day for shooting. We ultimately got nothing done… It was just a long train scene. We were all nervous. Imagine, even I, who is used to acting, got nervous. It’s a hard task to pull off a role taking upon another role. But it was fun. We had a great dinner afterwards. Georgie met this girl, and I think they will get together. You may very well have already seen the gal in a mag, Pattie Boyd, the model. She is cute, but not as beautiful as Twiggy or Doris Day or Grace Kelly. After the dinner I was a bit sad we didn’t get stuff done, but “my little friend” told me we will do better tomorrow, though I knew he was even more unsure than me. I told him “Paul if we fuck up, it’s fine, we still have each other.” Great words that. He lit up. And yeah, now I’m writing to ya… Aunt Mimi, I promise I’ll make ya proud, and make this film amazing!

Love ya lots,

John 

Dear Mimi,

we’ve finally filmed the train scene. I got comfortable with the camera and was acting like never before. Even more macho, even more humorous, even more witty. Wish you could’ve seen me, oh YEAH ya will! They say that if we continue at this pace the movie will be released in early July! I can’t wait for you to see all of our lines and our playing and so much stuff! 

To answer your questions. My boys and I are doing great and we are safe. They are not making us do stuff against our own will. We have a contract that prohibits tampering, at least that’s what Brian says. For the stores, I’ll promise I’ll go and check out some when I get the chance. I know how much you like it when I get new clothes and accessories… You just want me to enjoy things now and to spend the money I earn on fun things… Oh, Auntie. And to solve the next problem, I will take Paul with me. He has an eye for what fits me… He is my partner. I will take care of meself, I don’t always need the others or Paulie who you like to single out. Wish you could see how great the flats are!

Love ya lots,

John 

Dear Mimi,

we got a free day! So I decided to go shopping like you told me! I found some great clothes and shoes and I can't wait for you to see ‘em. One of the clothes is a yellow checkered puffy dress with a rose emblem on it, then there is a cute red dress and the combination of a white shirt with black dots and a pencil skirt. I got red pumps and black heels too! That’s done. Paul helped me choose them, he is so stylish… He and the lads greeted you!

I’m glad you are doing well, I cannot believe I forgot to ask you! John’s doing!  I’m so happy you have gone back to your hobby. I miss your hats. Can’t wait to get a new one. How are the other ladies? I hope you are talking to them, don’t get too lonely without me. Did you visit Mum? I hope you brought flowers for me too… It’s so unfair to both of us. I promise, when I come back I’ll keep ya company. I promise and you have this letter as proof I promised. I promise you as me, not my facade.

Love you,

your niece John

Dear Mimi,

everything is so bad. We are done “filming” all the scenes. Yay, I thought. But… Some scenes need to be redone. We have to “redub” some of our live singing. Why? I like it live! I love the studio but it is so stupid to dub live recordings… God, I am so frustrated. Brian and Paul don’t agree with George and me. Everyone thinks Brian is always right, well maybe he is, but this is a musical sin! They wanted to use our album recordings for it. The microphones were so bad they didn’t catch the “nuance of the Beatles playing”. What the hell are they talking about? We just strum. Still, I’m happy with the result we have currently though I am in a fight with Paul because of the stupid dubbing. Paul is so staunch on keeping his opinion, so stubborn! Well, John Winston Lennon is more stubborn than him!  I’ll show him… 

I am very glad the ladies are fine. You think of everything when you do something, Mimi. You even brought my favourite flower to bring her… You really are the greatest aunt. At these scumbags you would for sure scoff. They are so mean sometimes. And they smell bad. Money grubbing idiots. Not fit for a lady like you and Jules, but fit for me… Maybe I am filthy like them, John collects their filth… Julia remains clean. I wonder how clean can a person here be?

Love ya lots, 

John

Dear Mimi,

I’m barely able to write this letter, my rock and roll finger is hurting! Jokes aside, I listened to your solution for my fight with Paul, much to my dismay. Before that I was always on edge to beat him up and to pout at Brian. I formulated to him that what I meant was for us four to ask the film director to film all the scenes with us playing again with more cameras and better sound proofing so that the music would be live and prove to Brian that me and Geo were right. He was intrigued to say the least and gave in, after me bothering him more and more. We went to the film director and as it turns out, he doesn’t have the budget! The goddamn Beatles motion picture doesn’t have the budget! I was fuming! Paul looked like he was expecting such a response. He got on my nerves again. Though, I won’t forget he supported me then, when I argued with the film director about the footage. “No, we don’t have enough film for that.” or “Sound proofing for our sets is quite expensive, and besides that clunky.” would be heard a dozen times. Then I would say, “But isn’t a studio supposed to be acoustic?”, and he would say, “But this is a movie, mister Lennon.”. That’s a new level of dumb. So I had my little revenge. I wouldn’t want our band to waste away, so I told them that we will play everything all over again to make a unique dub for the movie as a fuck you. Weirdly enough, Brian supported me. Even if the film director felt that that was unnecessary, how could you say no to the stars of the film who could pull out any moment? That is the reason my hand has cramps. Paul is annoyed with me because of this choice but he can’t say he didn’t enjoy making a different version. I plan, during the editing phase of the movie, for us four to go explore the place some more and relax. I owe them that much for putting them up to more work.

Lots of love,

John

Dear Mimi,

London is such a big place. Me and the lads went through the entire Hyde Park. I can’t believe I didn’t take the time to explore the city before this. The nature in the parks is wonderful and diverse. The architecture is beautiful and elegant. The Rose Garden in Hyde Park is my favourite place, maybe Paul and I could write some songs there. It’s quiet and romantic, perfect for a working atmosphere. Maybe I get too caught up in music making. Exactly why I don’t explore as much as I did before. I would love to do this with Cyn someday. Maybe Paul and I should take Julian out to play... You asked if I knew how Cyn and Jules were, and I write to tell you they are fine. Cynthia is taking up some art courses and teaching Julian how to count, he is so smart! He knows how to count to five already. Of course he is my kid. He is a bundle of sunshine, really brightens up Cyn’s day, she won’t shut up about him in her letters (and who can blame her, he is very cute and funny). I envy her sometimes, she doesn’t let art consume her so much. But what is an artist if not a complicated person with layers and addictions towards their work? 

You made a hat for me! You spoiled the surprise. You know I love them! Well, I’ll try and forget it. Still, I wanted to ask if there is anything else that you wanted me to bring home? If not for you then for others? Wait, I am not falling into that hole. Gifts for others, not their requests, they are not my aunt. 

Lots of love,

John

Dear Mary,

I don’t know how to feel about your last letter. I am making a difference out here and you still bother me about that small thing! Also, you really think I’m doing this for money? No. I’m doing this because there is no other way… Even if there is, that “sham” you are talking about is giving me a way to distance myself from my feelings and write something quite logical. Even though I think we are still subpar and I tell my band that all the time, I think we are on the right track to improve ourselves. The person you call “shameful” and “selfish” has helped create great bands and improved the lives of the other members. It hurts me you think that way about me and my ideas. You don’t even want me to bring stuff if I don’t let go of my ideas. Silly Mary. I’m not seventeen anymore. I am my own man person and I decide what I will or will not do. But your angry response has led me to question what I did, so thank you very much Mary. Do you wonder if I had waited just a little bit and enrolled somewhere else I could’ve been able to achieve the same thing without my idea? If I had… I dunno, enrolled into art school like Cyn and found some friends there? More similar to me… Well, like Paul but you know how. But, I don’t think it would’ve had the same impact as the Beatles. First it was all about fun, and it still is fun, but I would’ve had fun that way too. But now. Now, it’s about impact too. The movie is edited and ready to go. With it, we have reached the big screen. The influence is a burden but we could use it! We could do something with it! I could help people, Mary! All four of us can! We could be the mirror of the society, we could embody the opinion of our demographic! And we already do! We are the demographic! Maybe I sound powerhungry, but I think we don’t need to educate people, we need to make more people aware about the faults and struggles of society! Maybe I am on a high horse but you can’t deny the facts I have brought up. The Beatles CAN change something. They CAN do it. Just believe in me, Mary. Please, Mimi.

Love ya lots,

John

Jules

Julia

Yours truly,

J. V. L.

Rest of Sacrifame

Fem Beatles am I right or am I right?

GIRLS featuring very historically inaccurate piercings

This wholesomeness makes their fights all the more sour...

We hear ad nauseam about Paul and George’s “fight” during Let It Be/Get Back but nowhere near enough about their beautiful tender exchanges like this one:

G: They sell boots that high, but not that tight, and not particularly leather, maybe softer. Groovy ones like, you know those Afghan coats, they’re embroidered, I’ve got boots like that, but the slippers, the slippers feel at home. And it is great, you just tuck your pants in.

P: You want boots of those? Yeah, I’ve got boots of them.

G: You know where you get them?

P: Yeah, you get them off me (gentle laughter).

I’ll give you them, I’ll never wear them.

G: Do you want to hear the song I wrote last night?

It’s just a very short one, called I Me Mine.

P: Yes

Ringo doodle dump test test markers real

Also @catgriller type ahhh of ringo haircut

Wholesome repost for reaching 50 likes! (In terms of my fic Sacrifame, it's totally something Julia loves to do for Cyn). Thanks everyone💓

John Lennon and Paul McCartney humorously hiding Cynthia Lennon from photographers, February, 1964. — From the documentary "What's Happening! The Beatles in the U.S.A."

most accurate description ever

damn

John and Paul had the dynamic like, John was looking at Paul as if Paul was was the most beautiful thing he ever laid his eyes on, and Paul was struggling with his fake obliviousness until he couldn't and stole a glance back, smiling ear to ear like a smitten teenage girl. With that being confirmed, John immediately looked away as if he knew if this kept going on they would devour each other.

It was so pure, so cute and idiotic. Like people that are so deeply and blindly in love.

i'd love to but my money for disney plus is nonexistent

Anybody watching Beatles '64 with me right now? 💕🥳

𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟔.

𝓦𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓐𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓷

𝙎𝘼𝘾𝙍𝙄𝙁𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝙎𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎

Paul’s Diary

I was in New York for a couple of reasons. First, I was going to the record agency to regulate some rights. Second, I was going to play some gigs. Same old, same old. But this time I wasn't on my turf, or I wasn’t even on some strangers turf, I was on John’s turf. I had to brace for anything to go wrong and remind me of the good times me and him had that I ruined, and I was frankly scared I might run into some John fanatic and be swarmed. Though I could’ve got into the same problems anywhere, it was a much bigger chance to get into those problems here because John is the favourite of New York musicians. John and I are officially still in a fight, so my fears were warranted. But even though I expected a hassle, I came for business. It is the biggest music industry currently, coming only a bit after London, and I can’t miss that kind of an opportunity. But also, I couldn’t miss an opportunity to see John, even though it seemed like a far off fantasy. At first I was just hoping to run into him by chance. Even though he was a stay at home dad, I thought he still went out. I could do my business without worry. But that worry grew as the days went by. When a third of my stay passed, I made a different strategy. I would check the places where people knew John was a regular. I somehow always missed him. When I went to the place and searched around, there was no trace of him. Sometimes I would run into my friends and they would tell me either he left sometime ago and they didn’t know I was so keen on meeting him or that they would tell me when they see him next time because he hadn’t been there in a long time. And another third passed in mindless searching. I gave up and finished the rest of my business, in the end agreeing to go to a gig of an up and coming band in some small and homey cafe. By then, I had lost hope, even though I should’ve known that I would’ve run into him in a place like that.

I walked into the cafe and the musicians were setting up. I forgot a bunch of their names, but I knew I’d get along with them swimmingly. I heard a scream.

“Oh, fuck, the day Paul McCartney wants to play with us, something goes wrong!”, the guitarist said.

“No worries, if it’s not something big, I could fix it.”, I went to them.

I look at the speakers and try to figure out what is wrong. I sat there for five minutes, but I can’t get heads and tails on this technology. I give up on looking at the shell of the machine and open it, finding a bunch of short circuits.

“That is very broken.”, I said, “Find a mechanic.”

“Oh, oh, shit! I am so sorry, Paul, but we’ll have to play later.”, the guitarist apologized.

The rest of the band looked demoralized.

“Don’t worry, I have the rest of the day free.”, I felt bad for the bunch. They were as us four were when we had an important gig as a small band. I chuckled.

“I am so glad to have such an understanding colleague.”, the guitarist sighed, “Thank you so so much!”

“It’s alright.”, I smiled.

I scanned the cafe and even though it was small, it was almost full and the atmosphere was lively. I was looking for a drink when I heard some snogging in the back. 

“God, fuck, stooop!”, I heard some small moans, “Stop, I don’t fucking know you!”

I ran to the back and wanted to save the bird, but I found John struggling to get out of an embrace of a woman. There were a bunch of drinks that looked weird on the table.

“Just play along Johnny, it’s just for a little bit, then you can have your Yoko back.”

“Do I have to… You look like a caramel apple with chocolate drizzle. I wonder if they even sell that.”, John chuckled, playing with her hair.

Well, John is high. And the bitch spotted me.

“Oh shit!”, she yelled, “Oh, John was-” 

Her acting was unconvincing.

“Get away from him!”, I came in and wrestled him out of her paws, “Why did you spike him! He can’t be spiked!”

“He is just like any other man, just talented, smart and rich. I want a piece of that.”, she smiled.

“Get away, you disgust me.”, I said.

“A man? That’s funny.”, John chuckled, “Why if it isn’t my darling Paul McCartney?”

He was high and ready to bite. But, I had to figure out which high John I had business with. Is it “could be left alone for a minute” or “I’m scared he’ll fuck something up” high John?

The girl in the meantime got lost. That bitch. I dragged him to the nicer seats.

“Change of scenery? Much better here, Macca.”, John sighed, “What the hell was she on to makeout with me?”

“John, even though you have a wife, I think a lot of our fans still want to makeout with you. And you obliged that many times yourself.”, I sighed.

He could be so in his head.

“What are you talking about? Are you purposely trying to reveal me… Oh, your head is so big. Yeah, it shows how smart you are. My smart partner.”, he chuckled.

“Every single person knows about your shenanigans with women.”, I said flatly.

“Paul, not everyone knows I am…”, he came close to my ear, “queer. It doesn’t really need to be made clear. I already have a lot of problems.”

Oh.

Oh, no.

“Problems?”

“Of course. I haven't told anyone yet so I’ll tell you first. I am writing something new. Oh, I mean. John is writing something new. I don’t want anyone overhearing. Though if they do, it would mean nothing. I’m just a nobody.”, as I concluded.

It’s the “I’m scared he’ll fuck something up” high John, or 

“Julia?”

“Yes, Paul? Ask away. Finally someone calls me right.”, well Julia is tripping hard if she can’t figure out she is in costume. What did that bitch put in her drink?

“Jules, you are in costume.”, I told her.

“Oh. Wait, what did you say?”, she was distracted then of all times, “Your head looks like it’s going to explode. Is there something to fix that?”

“Ignore that, you are tripping and are still in costume! You drank a spiked drink.”, I sighed.

“Spiked? I would never do that.”, she pouted.

“What is important is for us to get out of here as quickly and silently-”, I started but the waiter interrupted me.

“What would you like to order? Oh, it’s, wow…”, of course, the waiter knows us both.

Before I even got a word in, Julia began.

“Paul, don’t get ahead of yourself. I would like two vermouths, he would like… Oh, kind of forgot to ask what would you like, Macca? Though I already have a guess.”

I had to go along with her order. But I could pay in advance and that could give us the time to go somewhere else.

“Hm, a margarita would be fine.”, I sighed.

“Um, I’ll get you that. It’s interesting though. Aren’t you famous for ordering Brandy Alexander?”, the waiter asked.

“Where did you get that idea from?”, she was panicking already.

I looked at the waiter crossly.

“Could we pay in advance?”, I asked.

He prepared the bill, the disappointment visible on his face.

“You can.”

“I will pay, I haven’t seen him in a god awful while.”, Julia once again slapped my hand away from paying, “I missed ya sugar.”

She fumbled with the money for a bit, and somehow managed to find the exact amount.

“Sugar?”, the waiter noticed the small mannerisms Julia had.

“Yeah, the reason I don’t need any with my vermouth.”, that was smooth Jules, but quite unnecessary in front of a person.

The waiter acted like he didn’t hear anything and went on his merry way. I was fuming.

“Julia, we are going right this second.”, I ordered.

She looked at me with the saddest eyes.

“Paul, don’t go outside and leave me. I promise I won’t flirt anymore with you if it bothers you that much…”, she stretched the vowels unbearingly long and I was heartstricken again. Julia knows how to pull my heart strings the best.

“I’m not leaving you. I just want to get you somewhere safe. We could go to your flat-”

“Yoko will kill me- I mean John. She would kill him because of him arriving there uninvited and such.”, she was still not going to acknowledge that was in costume, huh.

“We could go to my flat here.”

“You live here?”

“No, you git, I am just renting.”, I chuckled though I remembered she was high out of her mind and it wasn’t that funny anymore.

“Is this a ploy, McCartney, for me to get into your bed?”, she offhandedly bantered.

“No? I mean I love you, but I have Linda.”, at this time I thought “Please don’t get clingy or whiny. God save our reputation and friendship.”

“You don’t love me anymore!”, and she got CLINGY and WHINY. She took my hand and held it to her heart, “Aw, Paul, you changed. Well, my poor heart still beats for ya.”

People were staring. She let my hand go.

“Oh, must you always be so difficult, Lennon.”, I smiled and acted like it was a joke, “Didn’t know you wanted to write again that much.”

Some turned away. Julia’s torn mind cooperated.

“You’re the difficult one. Always prim and proper. Maybe we are the same, though I am usually committing a crime.”, Julia joked, “We could write, I thought your blue hairedness wanted a date.”

“Blue hair?”

“Yeah, like the sky. Why’d ya dye it?”, I felt sorry for her.

“Um, we’ll talk about that later, here’s our drinks.”, I said, “And please fetch us a couple of bottles of water.”

The waiter wasn’t weirded out anymore and fully understood what happened. He hurried off.

“That’s quite a fast waiter.”, Jules noticed, “Oh, well, guess I’ll drink a couple of vermouths.”

“Hold your horses. How is Yoko?”, I asked to stop her from drinking, “And Sean?”

She scoffed.

“Sean is alright. I like taking care of him. He is smart and curious, though the bugger could be rude.”, she chuckled.

“For Yoko, she still can’t get over you and me. She is mad when she sees me being you know… Fragile.”, she hugged herself.

“I know. I’m here now, Jules.”, I held her hand. I forgot the feeling. The mask she likes to wear always had a tight grip on anything, he was ready to tear into anything. While her grip was always soft and melancholic. It was the same hand but a totally different atmosphere.

“Cheers to that Paul.”, she grabbed her vermouth.

“Julia.”, I grabbed her vermouth.

The waiter arrived with the water.

“Take this. Please. We’ll take this with us.”, I sighed.

The waiter grabbed our drinks and went off to the bar to try to pack it.

“No. It’s just water. Alcohol could hydrate me as well.”, Julia declined.

“That’s bull and you know it yourself.”, I scoffed.

“You have a point, love.”, I softened at the love part.

She drank the water.

“Ugh, give me more, my head is on fire.”, she was recovering.

I gave her the second glass of water, she drank it even faster than the first one.

“Oh, oh, fuck. That was too spiked. I’m still swirling.”, she said, “More.”

I gave her the third and fourth bottle.

“Enough Paul, I didn’t ask you for the river Nile, I asked you for another glass.”, she drank the third bottle and recovered a bit. Then I thought about what she said.

“You purposely drank a spiked drink!”, I was mad!

“Who expected it was going to be that effective?”, she was joking! At that time, when she felt like trash and needed help, she thought it was the smartest thing to joke. But Julia is like that.

“Julia, this isn’t funny. I was being serious!”

“Paul, it’s hard, it’s hard living every single day in a prison.”, Julia was poetic again.

“Jules, you made that prison yourself. Let’s go somewhere else.”, I sighed.

“Wait, wait! Macca, aren’t I still in…”, she looked around and at herself.

“Fuck, fuck, what have I done!”, she was panicking, “I made a couple of incidents for sure! Everyone knows, everyone knows!”

“Calm down.”, I was cackling.

“Paul, PAUL! This is serious.”

“Now it’s serious! And you spiking yourself isn’t.”, that was quite smooth of me.

“I’ll tell you some other day, McCartney.”, she was offended.

I guessed she would go back to John again. She gathered her thoughts.

“Well, let’s start over. Hullo, Paul, what does his highness want in New York City this time?”, that was John’s way of saying things. I was right.

“I’m here for business mostly.”, I lied.

“People told me that you were here for a whole month! Wouldn’t you have finished the work by now? Or just how big is it?”, he asked.

“John, you asked around for me? Why didn’t you reach out first?”, I was shocked. I knew Julia would be out and about asking for me, but for John, I thought it was “below” him to admit to doing that.

“I missed you too, Paul. I went to the place where you worked but I didn’t go in because I was a bit- too occupied with taking care of Sean and such, you know?”, he nervously laughed.

I chuckled.

“You should’ve just gone in. I didn’t know you were embarrassed.” “I was not embarrassed!”, he was red, “I was just a bit scared of doing that as, you know, me. I didn’t want to make you feel bad.”

John cared more about me than I thought.

“No. No, you would’ve made things so much easier!”, I was relieved, “Lenny, you know much more than those buggers! The cunts made it so hard to work normally.”

“Oh, McCartney being rude. I didn’t see that in a while. I thought you were a brand-friendly sellout.”, he joked letting out his frustrations to me.

“I can be frustrated too, y’know!”, I was angry.

He smiled wide.

“I missed you so much.”, he declared, “Let’s jam at yours when my head stops ringing.”

“Oh, we have a chance to do that here. Some kids invited me to jam with them.”

“Kids? Paulie, you are 34 years old.”, Lenny began laughing uncontrollably, “They look about twenty five-ish. Have you become a grandpa or something in my absence? Should I call you Queen Paulie? But that isn’t as good as Princess Paulie.”

I sighed and blushed.

“You know exactly what I mean Johnny!”

“Alright, alright, I’ll be the rhythm guitar then. Or piano. Or mouth harmonica.”, he began listing off.

“Stop. They’ll make place for you, Lennon.”

“Of course they will, Paul and John together! Who would want to miss that.”, he sarcastically said that and took me by the hand.

The waiter came back with bottles of our drinks and the ingredients. 

“I apologize for making a mess. I’ll pay for this too? Right, I paid the first time.”, John’s mind was still a bit sloshed.

The waiter was on the brink of crying.

“Mister, no need to cry, I am doing the bare minimum. Set your expectations higher!”, he told him straight.

The guitarist, frontman came back with the fixed speakers. He was huffing and sweaty from running. The rest of the band gathered round him and helped him with setup.

“I’m going to fetch Paul after we finish this.”, he was unfocused, “I already made a delay, now to force him to setup would be just-”

He paused for a solid minute.

“What would it be, lad?”, John asked.

I went to help the band.

“Too much.”

“Oh, but for the Paul I know, it would be too little. He would overdo it.”, John chuckled.

The frontman lifted his head after setting up the speakers and was in pure shock.

“Paul, no, the terms we agreed upon!”, the frontman tried to stop me.

“He is stubborn.”, John was getting on everyone's nerves.

“And just who are you to tell me that?”, he turned around and saw John.

“Oh, I had a hunch but I couldn’t believe it!”, he got excited.

The rest of the band got excited.

“Please play with us!”, they pleaded, “Lennon and McCartney playing together would be such a honor!”

I threw him a “see, I was right” look.

He sighed.

“People, you are swarming him.”, the frontman said, “You can decline.”

“No, I won’t. Paul finds ya gear, I find ya gear too.”, he smiled with his teeth.

The whole band became even more excited. They let us help them, and we ended up doing most of the physical work because they were busy trying to impress us. I am right in calling them kids.

John wistfully sighed.

“Remember when we were like that around Elvis and he ignored us? We can’t ignore these kids like that.”, he said.

“You indulge others too easily, Lennon.”, I began but softened, “But I know what you mean.”

“Oh, but I am still critiquing them. I’m not indulging them, love.”, he was being very sweet.

We were quiet for a minute. We heard a riff they wanted to throw in at the last minute.

“That’s gear, but still needs some work, lemme and Paul at it.”, he was truthful.

We got to work and they watched us with big eyes.

“Shift this chord here. Then, we should make it unfinished… Put this here.”, he mumbled in our writing language.

“Move it up to A. That sounds alright.”, I mumbled back, “Maybe add some thrills.”

I played it back to the band and they were amazed.

“That’s a bloody great riff Paulie.”, he was satisfied.

I reddened, like I do at John’s compliments to my music. They were so rare.

“We are using that! Thank you so much!”, they were so happy.

“Alright, what is the program for tonight?”, I asked.

They gave us the program. It was mostly covers with a couple of their songs which were easy to learn, but had some nice progressions and riffs that needed a bit more work.

“You even put “One After 909”. Aren’t you glad I’m here to sing that?”, John joked.

The frontman got so excited!

“We’ll put on more Beatles songs, we want to play them with you!”

“No need, we like these songs you picked.”, John chuckled. Looks like the cockiness came back.

“He didn’t even ask me. Classic Lennon.”, I scoffed, “But I agree.”

“Why scoff then?”, all of them laughed.

“I had to.”

“You never get old, Macca.”, I smiled on his remark.

We rehearsed for a bit, and went on the stage at 9 even though we were supposed to play from 4 p.m.

The cafe was full of people, which I’m sure made John nervous because he hadn't played in front of a big public in two years.

“What is this? The Cavern Club after 1963?”, he quipped, making the whole cafe laugh.

The frontman introduced the band, but I ignored him because I was focused on John.

“And as guests, I can’t believe they are here to play with us, John Lennon and Paul McCartney.”

The people clapped.

“Paul, let’s bow! Let’s bow!”, he excitedly whispered.

We did the classic Beatle bow. The audience went crazy.

The frontman began, but whispered something into John’s ear.

John looked at him crossly but chortled.

“I’ll be counting down today then, hope you understand little old me.”, the public was enjoying every second.

“Oh, you’re understandable Lennon, believe me.”, I quipped.

“And one, two, three, four.”, we played.

He stared at me mostly while playing, smiling like a fool. I guess he was nervous. The band was amazing! They were a solid backing track, and when their songs took over, they were very competent. John and I didn’t sing their songs, we just played. I was proud of John. Even though he was out of practice, he played wonderfully. The audience was delighted and that was the most important thing for this band and John. He wouldn’t exist if it weren’t from them. 

“Thank you, thank you, that’s all for tonight.”, he smoothly talked to them.

They riled up.

“More, more, more!”

“Oliver Twist asked for more.”, he spoke in his falsetto voice.

The audience laughed.

I send him a knowing look. The band was tired by now.

“We’ll play some classics then.”, John entertained the people while I went to the frontman and told him:

“Begin packing up, we’ll hold ‘em if you’re tired. If not, play something yours.”

They were out of breath.

“Okay, you can end it then. Thank you! This means the world to us!”, the frontman hugged me.

I hugged back.

“Alright, Johnny, hit it. And one, two, three, four!”, I started.

Our guitar heavy songs were present (like “Twist And Shout”). We played and played to our heart’s content.

We were tired by 2 a.m. 

“That’s it folks!”, he winked.

The audience groaned but they were tired too and went off. Us two packed the instruments. The kids left the pay in the case for the instruments. On the envelope in little letters was written “Thank you for your kindness and publicity! We can’t let you go unpaid for this kind of dedication.”

“I’m not taking that.”, I said.

“Interesting. Still I think you should respect the band, and take some of it.”, he assumed.

“Alright.”, I chuckled, taking half of my pay and giving him half of that.

“As I deserve.”, he chuckled, “No, I’ll take it from my pay. I don’t want yours, Paulie. Now, where should we go off to?”. He took the same amount from the other envelope which had the same writing.

“Let’s go to my flat, John.”, I offered.

“I’m fine with that.”, he agreed.

I got excited!

“Paulie is amused. That’s what I like to see.”

“See, Johnny, is it that hard to be balanced?”, I asked.

“What?”, he was confused.

“Is it that hard to be polite and reasonable when you’re John?”, I asked him again.

“I wasn’t polite! Nor that reasonable. Oh, oh, you mean now with the money!”, he got mad.

“I mean you were not extreme. You weren’t hateful, you weren’t overly cocky, you kept yourself in check. I forgot the last time you were like this.”

“Well, I remember it clear as day. It’s August 27th 1968.”, he saddened.

We somehow always end up mentioning it. I exhaled...

“Paul, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll call you more. I have to stop distancing myself from me…”, John sighed.

We arrived at the complex and went upstairs to my flat.

“You are one of the best ideas thought up. You really are. As much as you treasure yourself, I treasure you. I’m sorry because I always wanted you gone.”, I unlocked the door.

He stared at me, his eyes full of tears. I couldn’t withstand him crying, because I would tear up too. He threw himself onto my bed.

“Paul, you loved me even though I behaved like a jerk!”, he shouted.

“John, I made several songs about that! And you still hate me!”, I snuggled with him.

“I don’t hate you Paul! I told you that multiple times!”, he sighed.

“You TOLD me. But your ACTIONS say otherwise.”, I explained.

“Oh, it’s all coming together.”, he began, “I know why I am so extremely angry!”

“Why?”, I wondered.

“It’s because I’m bloody sick of everyone! I was sick of your commanding attitude, I am sick of Yoko’s constant nagging about you and Julia and I’m sick of everyone expecting something from me! First it was Mimi, then it was Brian, then you, then Yoko, and now the whole motherfucking world expects something from me!”, he screamed into the pillow. The pillow was wet. He made it this hard on himself.

“You don’t have to prove anything to me. You don’t have to prove anything to the world. You are not the main character y’know? No one is.”, I chuckled. He calmed down.

“I purpousely drank the spiked drink from that lady. The day was overly long and overly boring. No one was in town. Sean and Yoko went somewhere without me. I don’t know if I want to visit Julian anymore, because he hates me so much, and for a good fucking reason. I ruined his and Cynthia’s life.”, he sighed, “I ruined every single relationship I came across. Every normal person would want me gone for good! I wanted to wash away the pain! Wash away the feeling that I am John. I wanted to be sloshed for one single day and you come in. I didn’t realise I would fuck myself in the process by being that kind of high.”

“John Winston Ono Lennon, you are a coward.”, I said, “You wanted a name for yourself? You wanted to change the world? Deal with it. You can give up! We can live together like we imagined all those years ago. I barely remember when Julia wanted something more than a fling.”

“I always thought we were serious.”, she surprised me.

“ACTIONS, John, ACTIONS, not WORDS.”, I repeated, “I love you! And now I will show that I love you. Where are we?”

“We are at your place.”, he said unenthusiastically.

“Yes! Because otherwise Yoko would kill you for gallavanting!”

He hugged me.

“Thank you, Paul. For everything. That drink could’ve made more damage if I revealed everything or worse if I took more and collapsed on the spot.”

“YES! Thank you for acknowledging you need me sometimes!”, I hugged back tighter.

“Paul, Paul… Paaaull. That’s a bit tight. I’m suffocating-”

“Sorry!”, I let go.

“I’m already wrapped tight.”, he took off his shirt. Oh, the famous bandages that few people knew about. Aunt Mimi’s trusty tool, that Julia misused so long ago. I unwrapped them from John’s body as I used to when we were touring and were finally alone. He put on his shirt covering himself.

“Bathroom?”

“Down the hall on the left.”, I explained.

“Okay.”, he went.

Nervousness and curiosity flooded my state of being. I felt as if it was 1961. and I was a flustered teenager who found out his best friend was all along a bird he liked.

After a couple of minutes, he came out of the bathroom in his clothes that were dirty even though he washed himself. And when I mean washed himself I meant completely, his hair was wet and his teeth were clean.

“You used my toothbrush?”, I pouted.

“Did you ever have a problem with that?”, he chuckled.

I blushed.

“Well, this washed my worries away better than that spiked drink, don’t you think, Macca?”, he asked.

“Naturally.”, I sighed, rolling my eyes.

“May I sleep here, your majesty?”, he proposed.

“I dunno, may you?”, I played with him.

“I can’t refuse cliche banter, Paulie, you know me too well.”, he smiled, though I’d rather say she smiled.

“Jules, John’s confidence always suited you.”, I kissed her on that smart head of hers.

She snuggled beside me.

“Shut up and sleep, I need some peace and quiet now.”

“Oh, are we cranky?”, I patted her on the shoulder, “Good night, Jules.”

“Good night, Pretty Princess Paulie.”, she patted me on the head, “Your quiff is fluffy.”

“Not like your hair though.”, I played with it.

“Paul, promise you’ll have patience with me tomorrow and we can play again?”, her eyes grew big.

“I promise we can play again!”, I kissed her on the cheek, “We will, I already told you I missed you.”

“You mean so much to me, Macca.”, she kissed me on the lips, “Now, please sleep, I have to finish tons of work and find someone to take care of Sean while we’re out and about.”

“I will.”, that was a lie.

“No, you won’t sleep. You want revenge for me keeping you up during touring days.”

I laughed.

“Then, Johnny, what do you want me to do?”

“Sing then.”, she dug her head in my shoulder.

I smiled and sung.

Who knows how long I've loved you?

You know I love you still

Will I wait a lonely lifetime?

If you want me to, I will

She sung along.

For if I ever saw you

I didn't catch your name

But it never really mattered

I will always feel the same

She kissed the place where my heart was positioned.

Love you forever and forever

Love you with all my heart

Love you whenever we're together

Love you when we're apart

She laid back and got comfortable drifting away. I looked at her face. She had an honest smile. One of her true smiles. One of the rare treasures.

And when at last, I find you

Your song will fill the air

Sing it loud so I can hear you

Make it easy to be near you

For the things you do endear you to me

Oh, you know, I will

I will…

I drifted away, nuzzling into her hair. 

Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Da da da da da da da

My eyes closed on her carefree laugh I used to hear during the fifties and sixties. When it was just us two against the world.

Rest of Sacrifame

yes. Yes we do.

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