Feminists: What Were They Thinking? (2018, Dir. Johanna Demetrakas)

Ofrenda de Día de Muertos en las escalinatas de la Universidad de Guanajuato. Guanajuato, México.

Day of the Dead celebration. Guanajuato, México.

people misunderstand what ‘gifted kid’ actually means but it’s ok it’s fine it’s cool it’s good

Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of young queer people. Look, I’m a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I’m approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard’s story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking, “I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I’m having.”

And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”

Her response was, “Well, are you?”

My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.

The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”

I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.

Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.

Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.

Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place - when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.

Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don’t just log on to your safe space and attack your allies over small missteps. That’s like washing the dishes in a house that’s on fire, kids. Let’s fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let’s just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war.

Jameela Jamil on Cancel Culture - The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

Sorority and Feminism

Sorority, sisterhood and girl gang support are elements of feminism.

It is often said becoming a feminist is joining a sorority. Which is kinda true - but what is a sorority?

Sororities are values based social organizations that are founded to provide women a safe space to gather and share, this groups are often-times women exclusive and provide intellectual and social connections amongst women to form strong bonds, gain meaningful lifelong friendships, develop leadership and professional skills and be a part of something bigger than themselves.

So yes, feminism could be described as a type of sorority, if you will.

The problem is when radical new feminists think being part of the feminist movement and embracing sisterhood and the whole "dont tear each other down" is the same as "do not ever question anything a fellow female does or says".

It's important to call out ignorant, problematic, bad, bigot and poor in taste behaviour - it doesnt matter who it comes from. A woman, a man, or a nonbinary pal.

Being part of a sorority,specially in feminism, also means helping each other grow too, and more often than not that means calling out people. So please do, but be respectful and assertive, not hostile and aggressive.

Also, if you're a feminist, dont be afraid to be wrong. We're all unlearning a belief system. We all have internalized misogyny because we all grew up in a patriarchal society and feminism is about growing and healing, and none of those are a linear process. You are allowed to be wrong, and mess up, but fellow feminists may and will call you out on it (as long as they do so with respect and tolerance), take it as an opportunity for growth for you - it's okay to acknowledge your mistakes. It's a very healthy thing to do.

Girls support girls and empowered women empower women does not mean turning a blind eye to women in the wrong - or supporting women blindly. This things do not cancel critical thinking. This means to stop actively participating in the patriarchy's way of diminishing women and piting them against each other. Like, who wore it better or when it was heavily implied by every male critic that if wonder woman failed (was bad) it was proof of how women aren't meant to be superheroes in big franchises even though there have been male centered superhero franchises that have flopped and they get the chance to keep trying. It means to stop calling each other sluts, and bitches and stop falling for the patriarchy's trap of "not being like other girls", to stop judging your fellow sisters for doing or saying things you wouldn't judge a man for, to acknowledge that women should have agency over their lives and bodies to make their own decisions, even if those decisions are not ones you would not make yourself. It means to support other women in life and have each other backs in our fight against an oppressive system.

Feminism fights to destroy and change all the perceptions about women (and men) that are harmful - including that women dont rape, are abusers, or kill (they are rarely the perpetrators, but it happens). Seeing feminists defend Amber Heard or JK Rowling because "shes a woman and feminism is for women" are one of the worst portrayal of feminism today.

Feminism does not mean supporting every single woman just because they're a woman. Don't be toxic on your feminism.

56 new billionaires. 8 million fall into poverty.

can run

DAY OF THE DEATH OFFERINGS (ALTARS) IN MEXICO

The offering (altar) for the dead should have several essential elements, and each of them has their mysticism:

Water. The source of life is offered to the souls to quench their thirst after their long journey and to strengthen their return. In some cultures symbolizes the purity of the soul.

Salt. The element of purification, serves so that the body is not corrupted in its round trip for the following year.

Candles. Ancient Mexicans used ocote slices. Today the candle is used; the flame it produces means faith and hope. It is a guide for the souls so they can reach their old places and return to their home. In several indigenous communities, each candle represents a deceased, that is, the number of candles that the altar will have will depend on the souls that the family wants to receive. If the tapers or candlesticks are purple, it is a sign of mourning; and if four of these are placed on a cross, they represent the four cardinal points, so that the soul can orient itself until it finds its way and its home.

Copal and incense. The copal was offered by the natives to their gods since the incense was not yet known, it arrived with the Spanish. It is the element that sublimates prayer or praise. Fragrance of reverence. It is used to cleanse the place of evil spirits so that the soul can enter your home without any danger.

Flowers. They adorn and aromatize the place during the soul's stay, which will leave happy when it leaves, the wallflower and the nube cannot be absent because they mean purity and tenderness, and they accompany the souls of the children.

In many parts of the country it is customary to put petal paths that serve to guide the deceased from the holy field to the offering and vice versa. The leafless yellow flower of the cempasuchil (Zempoalxóchitl) is the path of color and smell that trace the routes to the souls.

Petate. Among the many uses of the petate are that of a bed, table or shroud. On this particular day it works for the souls to rest as well as a tablecloth to place the food of the offering.

Izcuintle. This one should not be missing in the altars for children, it serves as a toy so the souls of the little ones feel happy when they arrive at the banquet. The izcuintle dog is the one that helps souls cross the mighty Chiconauhuapan river, which is the last step to reach Mictlán. 

Bread. Made in different ways, bread is one of the most precious items on the altar. The most common one is the “bread of the death”, a bread sprinkled with sugar that symbolizes the bones of the living.

Gollete y cañas. Related to the tzompantli. The golletes are loaves in the shape of a wheel and are placed in the offerings supported by pieces of cane. Depending on your upbringing, they may symbolize the skulls of the defeated enemies and the cañas the rods where they were threaded OR the roundness of the gollete may symbolize the circle of life and the cañas the life passing through towards dead.

Other objects to commemorate and offer to the faithful departed are:

The portrait of the person remembered, in more traditional offerings it must remain hidden, so that it can only be seen with a mirror, to imply that the loved one can be seen but no longer exists.

The image of the Souls of Purgatory, to obtain the freedom of the soul of the deceased, just in case it is found in that place, to help it get out.

Other images of saints can be placed, to serve as a means of interaction between the dead and the living, since on the altar they are synonymous with good social relations. In addition, they symbolize peace at home and the firm acceptance of sharing food, such as apples, which represents blood, and kindness through the pumpkin in tacha candy.

The mole with chicken, hen or turkey, is the favorite dish that many indigenous people from all over the country put on the altar, although they also add barbecue and consommé. These dishes are that trail of aromas, the kitchen banquet in honor of remembered beings. Good food is intended to delight the soul that visits us. It is most traditional to place foods that were the favorites of the deceased that are awaited for the night. If adult souls are expected, you may find wine on the altar.

Chocolate water. Pre-Hispanic tradition says that the guests drank chocolate prepared with the water that the deceased used to bathe, so that the visitors were impregnated with the essence of the deceased.

Another very common element are sugar skulls. Medium sugar skulls are allusion to the ever-present death. The small skulls are dedicated to the Holy Trinity and the big one to the Eternal Father.

A washbasin, soap and towel can also be placed in case the soul needs to wash its hands after the long journey.

This post follows what the INPI (National Institute of Indigenous People) says about the Mexican Day of the Dead on its official page.