The Commodification Of Friendship Is The Most Annoying Thing To Come Out Of The Internet In Ages. Like

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

Urban Centers Undergo ‘Guerilla Greening’ in GIFs that Reimagine Cities with Lush Vegetation

First ape to go to the watering hole with a container and put some of the water in it so that they could drink more later without returning to the watering hole must have been lauded as a fucking genius.

This makes me realize that my family has a bit of a unique thing. On one side of my family, peoples legal names and their casual names are different. From birth. My grandparents just decided that they wouldn’t use the legal (first) names they themselves had given their children. And I don’t mean they shortened the names, the casual names stand on their own. Some* of my cousins are in the same situation. It’s not a big deal, so I didn’t realize that most people don’t do this.

On other side of my family, some* people have a double name but just the first part. Which is not that unusual, I guess. Though one slightly chanced it, so it’s more to their liking, and another uses two (nearly identical) names, their original and a variant for their international friends.

I had also a cis family friend that changed their casual name in their 50′s. And I know of someone who thought their name was too childish, when becoming a teenager. 

So yes! Don’t let your legal name keep you from using a name you’re comfortable with. You don’t have to feel uneasy when people call you. My examples are about first names, but the same goes for last names. Legal names are for legal documents, not much more. When you’re not doing paperwork use something you actually like!

* I recently realized that I don’t know the legal names of all my cousins, just the names they go by. So, ‘some’ might actually be ‘all’.

People take names and especially surnames so damn seriously and act like they’re written in stone but the big secret here is they’re all fake, it’s all made up. David Tennant picked out his name at 16 because his real name was barred from the actor’s union he joined on account of their No Doubles Allowed rule, and he wound up naming himself after Neil Tennant from the Pet Shop Boys of all things, and now many years later his whole family carries on that same made-up name he committed to as a teenager. All names are made up and fake as hell, call yourself whatever feels right.

A redraw of Castle in the sky

Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.

On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.

The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy

I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.

Just some stretches you can add to your daily routine!

For more on passive bar hanging, check out Dr. Kirsch's work: https://www.kirschshoulder.com.

He's an orthopedic surgeon that claims simple hanging helped many potential patients avoid shoulder surgery.

I believe he's said that hanging can eliminate 99% of shoulder pain. Try it out!

Legal Notice: Consult a physician before beginning any exercise program. This video does not replace a doctor's visit or physical therapy program.

One thing that has made me a much more well-adjusted person is a clip I once saw of Hank Green saying that anyone can be in amazing shape as long as being in amazing shape is one of their top three priorities.

(This is obviously a generalization that isn't true for everyone. But it is true for most people and I'm proceeding from there.)

This "top three priorities" framing has genuinely reduced my tendency toward jealousy and self-comparison a lot. Now when I feel envious of someone’s spotless, aesthetic home, I think to myself, “Having a spotless, aesthetic home is probably one of their top three priorities. It’s definitely not one of mine, so I shouldn’t expect my home to look like that.”

Or when I see an influencer with a body that takes a ton of work to maintain: “Maintaining that body is obviously one of her top three priorities, because it’s her livelihood. My livelihood is my brain, so I’m never going to prioritize my body like that.”

It also helps me to identify areas that I actually DO want to prioritize more. I realized in recent years that my envy for my friends who prioritized writing more than I did was NOT going away, so I started to prioritize writing more. (Not top three, but higher priority than it has been in the past.)