Food For Thought?

i think about this too often 🥲

Porter & Bright Eyes Thoughts

I thought about this just before I went to sleep and I didn't forget about it when I woke up so I guess I need to write what I'm thinking down

When he'd heard that in 3 short years, the clan had gained three new vampires he wouldn't say he wasn't shocked. It wasn't like William to be rash with turnings but learning that it was Vincent and Sam, and subsequently Sam's new progeny that were the makers? He was intrigued.

Meeting Frederick was a boring affair to Porter, honestly. He was the exact kind of man he could see Samuel turning, bleeding heart that he had... and then there was Bright Eyes. Taciturn, stubborn, difficult Bright Eyes.

Their maker was a freshly turned newborn, they were easily the weakest vampire in the clan. And you'd never know it by looking at them. The turning did nothing to dull a defiant brightness that burned in their irises, in the sharp roll of their eyes. This was someone who would do well as a vampire, provided their clan was giving them the room they needed to be themselves.

And they weren't.

Bright was under constant scrutiny. They were blamed for their death and Frederick's as if they ever could have known what was hiding under Dahlia's facade of normalcy. It was as if they could do nothing right, even three years into their turning.

Porter had no interest in playing as their maker, in being any kind of older brother figure to one of the newest additions to the Solaires. They were out of the bloodlust, they'd been taught the rules and how to behave. It really was only a matter of time until they were fully independent and wouldn't need the intervention of more experienced vampires.

That didn't stop Porter from weaponizing Samuel's clearly bad relationship with his progeny to get under his skin. He'd called Sam a deadbeat dad more than once, even in front of Frederick or any of the other Solaires. He'd grinned and said that even Alexis was shown more grace than Bright.

He tried to ignore that there was a wave of actual anger behind his barbs.

Porter was many things but if anyone tried to call him stupid he would laugh in their face. He saw the forest for the trees, as it were. Bright had become a scapegoat to the Solaires, to Sam. It was easy to blame them because it was their choices that put them in the path of Quinn. And they died for it. Shouldn't that have been punishment enough?

It agitated a familiar sting when he saw the way Bright lingered on the outskirts of their family. William was trying his best with Bright but clearly, there was some bias there... burned by trusting Adam, no doubt. Their relationship with their friend Frederick was fraught. Sam had burned that bridge before he even had a chance to meet Bright in the middle.

By the time he'd returned to Dahlia, the newborns were weaned off of Sam. They'd learned enough to be independent and only need occasional guidance... so Bright had moved as far away from the Solaires as they could while still being in Dahlia... just in the opposite direction of Sam. The lines in the sand had been drawn long before he'd returned home.

Something about the way Bright seemed to hate their new life bothered him but not in the way Vincent had. He had more perspective on Vincent now and maybe that's what was getting under his skin.

Sam was turned when he explicitly asked not to be. That was bad. Vincent was turned when he wasn't able to give consent. That was bad. Bright Eyes was turned when they weren't able to give consent. That was their fault?

Being shortsighted and dangerously stubborn clearly wasn't as much of an issue to their favorite cowboy as Sam liked to pretend it was. Porter learned that quickly when he met Sam's partner... so the wolf was worthy of kindness but the newborn was not. The double standard grated on him.

Bright truly had no one in their corner in the Solaire clan... and before he knew it, he'd stepped up.

It started easily enough. Bright had some pent-up aggression to work out, the kind that Sam would tell them to just bottle up and be quiet. Not Porter. He'd take them out in the forest and they'd spar. He'd let them be as vicious as they needed to be until their tense muscles loosened.

If Alexis or even Sam were making their "harmless" little comments, he'd slide up beside them and show them what true vitriol looked like. He was Wiliam's vampiric hitman, not a young vampire's bodyguard. And yet. And yet seeing any bit of shit being thrown Bright's way pissed him off beyond belief.

Bright could talk about that night to someone who they knew wouldn't judge them. They could talk about their guilt, their frustration, all of it, to someone and know that their abrasiveness wouldn't turn it into an argument. He just listened.

Porter was teaching them the things that Sam wouldn't. They were learning how to love themselves in this new life. Things were different and maybe some of their relationships would never be the same again but they were a Solaire. That name held power and that power would allow them to have fun again.

By virtue of being a Solaire, they had access to quite a bit of money and Porter was willing to show them all the fun ways they could spend it. It wasn't really Bright's thing as much as breaking into abandoned places was but it was nice to get back at the Solaires a little bit, even financially.

(As if William didn't know and didn't have more money than they could ever spend.)

Being under Porter's wing was really bringing life back into Bright. They were happy again, even if it wasn't all the time. They didn't spend as much time alone, they weren't getting into arguments as much because they were spending less and less time around Sam and the others. Frederick was watching the wonderful side of his friend come back, even though it was from a distance.

Instead, they were spending time with Porter and learning what being a vampire was like through his eyes and not Sam's and they found the immortality they faced to be a lot more entertaining.

Porter knew enough about being the outcast to empathize with them. He was well aware of how strong they were and how hard it was for them to hold their tongue for the sake of "peace." So he didn't ask them to. They could be themselves, unapologetically. The clan would handle the fallout whether they like it or not, the same way they did for him.

He would never have imagined himself as a role model for anyone but after meeting Bright Eyes, he couldn't imagine anyone other than him fitting that role for his vampiric sibling. He shuddered at the idea of someone as fiery as Bright trying to model themselves after Vincent.

what if this was my last straw?

I HAD ANOTHER THOUGHT ABOUT GAVIN RE: INVERSION

cw: character death

What if Freelancer wasn't able to beat the ward closing? What if they weren't able to throw themself back into Gavin's arms before the magic cut them off?

What if the ward had been transparent (assuming it was not because of layers and layers of different people's magic and it seemed no one could see what was happening on either side) and Freelancer had to watch Gavin come apart without getting to hold him one last time?

i don’t know where else to put this but sometimes i wonder if milo’s dad ever sobered up and just stares at old pictures of him, milo, and marie as a family and just regrets neglecting them (if there was even a moment where they were together happily)

chat i croed a little

REDACTEDTOBER DAY 02

This involved less thought, but it’s something. the prompt for the other list said video-game so it conveniently matched as well and I’m seriously happy with how this turned out, as weird if a concept at is it, i hope u like it <3

Adam - Atari

Adam was an orphan at a young age, a runaway one at that.

6 years old, and he’s already managed to raise himself.

On one of the nights in search for shelter, he found himself in a seemingly abandoned house.

At least, he thought it was abandoned.

The house belonged to Henry Jessup, former department agent who had been laid off since the rise of the hotshot detective, Colm Greer.

The house was all he had, his own sanctuary of dusty shelves, curtained windows and an Atari 2600 console that adorned his tv that sat in the middle of the living room.

Games was his escape, an escape he’d immersed himself in entirely since being laid off.

That particular night, while enjoying a game competitive game of pong, the sound of tiny feet, caught his attention. He may be out of commission, but that didn’t diminish his sharp senses, and thar sound was sure as he not his raccoon companion, Gerald.

Straightening his back, he grabbed the closest thing in sight as a weapon, which in his case would be a beer opener.

“Who’s there!?” He called out, his voice booming as it echoed the dimly lit room.

—

Adam froze, covering his mouth to avoid any sound from escaping.

He crawled under a table, only to be grasped the collar of his shirt, hovering him over the face of a 60-something aged bearded man.

“Who are you?! How did you get in?!” He roared, keeping him about 3 feet off the ground.

“I-i n-need, r-roof…i-it was..cold..” The young boy stuttered, whimpering in fear as tears welled up in his eyes

The man met the boy’s gaze, seeing the fear in his face. He let out a low growl, easing his grip and setting him down.

“Well, what you did was trespassing.” he spoke, walking back to couch. “Sorry..” Adam mumbled, sniffling as he rubbed at his neck where he’d be gripped

“You hungry?” the old man spoke in a nonchalant tome, holding out a half eaten box of spinach pizza, offering it to the child.

Adam felt heard the gurgle of his stomach, having barely eaten the past 2 days, he was practically drooling. He looked up at the man, seeking confirmation.

“Well, go on” He replied.

Once he got the answer, he quickly picked out a hefty slice, practically shoving the entire pie in his mouth, letting out a content groan having finally eaten again.

“Jesus, slow down, pizza ain’t going nowhere”

Henry spoke, handing him a plate to place his slice on before taking his spot back on the couch

“Grab a seat.” He said, gesturing towards the empty couch across from his.

Adam nodded appreciatively, placing his pizza on the plate before walking over to the couch.

“I—“ He started, only to be cut off with the man’s low grovel.

“There’s a free bed upstairs, I don’t like mischief, and I expect you help around the place.” He said, his eyes never leaving the TV while he played a around of pong

Stopping mid bite, his eyes widened in shock, he was letting him stay? His lips curved into a small smile, nodding at the man’s offer.

Henry let out a confirm him, taking a swig from his mug before turning to face him, “Wanna play?” He asked nonchalantly, reaching out a second controller.

The boy tilted his head curiously, taking the controller in his hands, watching closely as the man explained what each control did.

Then they played. A thing they would find themselves doing often, bonding over the galaxies of Galaga, to the trenches of Pacman and Q*bert. They explored it all.

And as the years went on, now in his vampiric life, A decade since Henry passed, Adam often found himself going back to the slums of the little run down cabin. The calming buzz of the TV and its glow providing a dim light, creating a sense of melancholy as he booted up the same Atari 2600.

WAIT THEYRE STILL TOGETHER???

i don’t know where else to put this but sometimes i wonder if milo’s dad ever sobered up and just stares at old pictures of him, milo, and marie as a family and just regrets neglecting them (if there was even a moment where they were together happily)

freelancer analysis pt1

freelancer is a really interesting character. most people have noticed that they seem to always “push their feelings aside” while pushing their friends feelings to the forefront, but i think it’s more than that. i actually think their feelings aren’t even a thought in their mind—that they really don’t notice or even care about things they go through unless someone else shines light on the situation. so here are things that led me to believe that:

the kody situation. we could say that their lack of initial reaction was due to them not behaving knowledge of bridging, but even after huxley explains it to them they have this sort of..lack of response. it’s everyone else around them that really seems to care—they’re the ones who let freelancer know actions need to be taken. and only then do they do something. they don’t bring the situation up themselves, like in the “meeting up” vid with hux, it’s only when he says he wants to talk about it do they say it’s okay. even when kody confronts them it doesn’t seem like they care about the situation, it’s lasko who jumps in to defend them.

they always divert attention from themselves to their friends. i even remember in an audio with huxley, he’s asking about their life and they turn it around to his. they do this in audios a lot, answering questions briefly and then listening to their friends talk about their feelings.

i’ve seen people upset about the damn crew seemingly not comforting freelancer regarding inversion, and i’ve also seen people claiming that it could have happened behind the scenes—to which people respond by saying this is an audio channel and anything that relevant would be made into an audio or at least referenced..which it wasn’t. i do agree, but i believe it’s intentional. and here’s why:

i believe fl didn’t want to be comforted, they wanted to help the others. yes their friends care about them, but fl is so far removed from their feelings they would never bring them up. it’s not even a thought in their mind which is a huge problem. even when gavin comforts them in his audio, it’s because he feels that something’s wrong with fl, and i believe if he didn’t have the means to do so he wouldn’t have noticed. not because he doesn’t care, but bc freelancer doesn’t hide their emotions in an intentional way but more so by way of not caring about it themselves. it doesn’t seem to be relevant unless others make it so

i also believe they introduced everyone to each other because they didn’t want to be the center of their friends lives. for background, i’ve seen people say they don’t like how fl was “pushed inside” in that audio (bowling), like huxley and damien focusing on each other the whole time or gavin joking around about sleeping w lasko. ppl have expressed that fl is the listener so it’s odd that their friends barely acknowledge them. i think this was also intentional, to shed light on fl’s character. here’s why:

before this audio, things may have gotten to close for comfort for fl. not in a “i don’t want you to be my friends that much” but more in a “i don’t want to be the center of your lives” way. their friends (including gavin) all previously implied that fl really was their only or closest friend. huxley says being around them is the first time he’s felt seen, that people always use him and that he’s others friends but no one’s his friend. he says it’s different with fl, that he feels he can finally “be himself”. damien says that fl was his first friend at d.a.m.n, since he would always stay in his apartment focusing on school and that people didn’t bother to get to know him. lasko pretty much says the same; that fl was their closest friend. and gavin ofc felt the same, saying that he was finally treated like a person instead of some sex object.

i believe when fl heard this, they recognized it meant they would be seen. it seemed like everyone was sort of pushing them to the center of their lives, which made them uncomfortable because they want to be hidden. they want to be there for others, not so much for others to be their for them. if everyone pushed them to the center, it would be much harder to hide. this is even evident with the kody situation—damien only found out bc of lasko and lasko knew bc huxley knew lasko,,etc. they recognized, maybe not even consciously, that their friends would pay attention to them, and introducing everyone to each other was a way for them to remove the focus from themselves and for everyone to be their for one other. 

i keep her there and i’m not letting go of her anytime soon 🤭🤭

POLYD.A.M.N. IS BACK

But some can also be taken as platonic

✦ Huxley is a sleep talker. Freelancer is a sleep walker. Lasko gets absolutely NO sleep if they are (for some reason) sleeping in the same room. He’s either;

A) Too busy listening to Huxley ramble about god knows what.

B) Making sure Freelancers magic doesn’t randomly activate with a motion of their hand or a random tug in their threads that they aren’t able to control

C) Fearing for his life

✦ I’m just. Thinking about Dear and Damien cuddling. Damien’s face tucked into Dears chest as they play with his hair. He rants about anything and everything and they just listen. (Freelancer has pictures of this neither Dear or Damien know about it.)

✦ Freelancer has a widget for each of their partners because I said so. whether it’s their face or their hands, something that reminds Deviant of them. They’re THERE. OKAY?

✦ They have a swear jar. It will put Lasko in debt.

✦ Huxley adores the way he can just walk up to his partners and just kiss them. It bewilders him everytime. What do you mean they like him like that? What do you mean they love him like that?

About the last note; He loves kissing them BUT. He gets a little too rough sometimes and it definitely catches them off guard. He’s a big guy, no doubt. Walking up to someone and kissing them while directing their face to yours? Grabbing them by their jaw or neck?!? Yeahhhh. Gavin stays fed when that happens—DO NOOOT LIE

✦ Freelancer and Dear play gacha games together. I’m talking things like PJSK or even Genshin Impact, ZZZ, or CRK. They 100% tell their partners to press the button to pull/roll for the characters and find that Gavin seems to give them the best “luck”

HELL YEAH GET HYPEDBAUABAUAHUUUAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA

twst anime news!! (finally, lol)

The Twisted Wonderland anime is confirmed to be an adaptation of the main story!! The animation will be handled by Yumeta Company x Graphinicia and can be streamed on Disney+.

Seasons 1-3 have been greenlit. The first season, Episode of Heartslabyul, airs in October of 2025!! 🌹

Seasons 2 and 3 are dedicated to Savanaclaw and Octavinelle, respectively. No dates have been announced for those yet.

UPDATE: According to this tweet from Yana, it sounds like the anime will be an adaptation of the comics/manga adaptation.

GO YOU GOT THIS 🙏🙏

i have exams this thursday and i have no clue if im going to pass so. for every note this get will be a different extra credit assignment i do 👍🏼 for the motivation

OH MY GOOD GOLLY GOSH 🤭😍😍🥰❤️❤️

GUUUUUUUUYYYSSS he’s done!!!!!

LOOK AT MY PRETTY MANSSSS💕💕💕✨💕💕💕💕

This bad boy has so much trauma and I love him

Sorry for any spelling mistakes and the shit hand writing I hope you enjoy his face after such a long wait

I will give him a proper character sheet one day I swear