I Hate How Much I’ve Shared With People. I Want To Take Everything Back

it’s my mom’s birthday tomorrow. my dad said that i’m useless. i can’t fo anything right. what about the card i made for her? what about the decorations i put up? no, still not enough. just keep yeling at me. i know how much you hate your child. what if i would just disappear? everything would be better without me, am i right, father? you make me relapse everytime, and i’m glad that you’re helping me with that. i can feel the blade cutting into my arms, making beautiful red lines. i can feel the blood running down. i can clean up the mess i made afterwards. just because of your help. that’s nice, isn’t it, father? i hope you’re proud of your little useless miserable child. you make me feel so horrible, that i caress my neck with my scissors. that i bawl my eyes out. that i can finally feel relieved again. now it’s time to hide the cuts. i’m very good at this. thank you father.

I can’t let a boy have so much control over my emotions and mood

Fuck, i’m so pathetic

itchy sweater

some people in life have an itchy sweater. a person that they would be better without but they would be uncomfortable. your friends don’t like the itchy sweater and say it smells and it makes you look ugly. even though you may be better off getting rid of the itchy sweater you don’t because you’ve had it for so long you don’t know how life would be without it. it creates a sense of false comfortability because you know it’s not good for you but you continue to wear the itchy sweater. the itchy sweater knows they irritate you and emit negativity but due to your bond, you will never leave the itchy sweater and the itchy sweater will never leave you.

My brain needs to shut up shut up shut up. I want to smash it until it stops

TW: BLOOD AND SH

⚠️

⚠️

⚠️

⚠️

⚠️

Do you ever feel hollow and empty? Like the soul has been sucked out of you and there’s nothing left?

That’s how I’ve been feeling today, I just wanna be done. Part of me wants to fight and try to do good things for the world and make a change. But I’m just tired, I just wanna take a really long nap because I’m exhausted. I never get a break, and I feel like I’m on autopilot all the time.

Förlåt mamma, men din dotter är riktigt fucked up.

never related so much.

I need it