Oh. My. FORCE. How Did I Not Notice That?

yall. i see a lot about masking, and i just wanted to ask that, well personally, i dont mask. and i feel like thats weird because i keep hearing how, it feels like everybody else is in some form masking?

i dont even know what masking entails, what it is, i only know some very few information that it is like, well one is wanting to touch stuff but dont? idk, i just, if i wanna touch something, i touch it. but im not obsessively touching stuff. i dont like, stim either, in the autistic way, im sorry if that came across as rude i just wanna say i dont do it because of autism, i do it because of my severe anxiety. i only do stuff, crossing arms, twisting foot, idk how to explain it, if im stood still, i will like, bend my foot so it looks like it might break but it wont lol...etcetc, are those even stims? they dont sound like it now that i wrote some down haha, because i have severe anxiety and i feel like im gonna pass out and vomit when im out of the house. i have a whole ass YEAR left until i begin my cbt therapy. i dont even know if thats gonna help, i tried it before years ago but pretty much gave up because i felt it didnt do anything and im depressed af and have zero motivation. because im never gonna get better anyways. i had a nurse telling me that too ages ago and i still remember it because he was all like "so im not supposed to tell you this because its private information about me, but you'll never get better from this. this is a lifelong issue you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life, because i have it too" real comforting when you just told that person you wanna kill yourself because you suffer so bad. i feel like he wants me to kill myself so they'll rid a troubling annoying person. but anyways!

oh yea! another one is forced eye contact, i dont do that either haha, i look up people in the eye, or in the middle, and then if i dont wanna, i dont. so im sure i dont mask and is that normal? is there anybody else out here that dont either?

yall, a list of various ways of masking would be appreciated so i know whether i am or not, even though im preeeeeetty sure that i do not.

thank you. and i hope you have a good week.

I'll answer this in parts.

1 - Autistic masking is the conscious and unconscious act of pretending to be neurotypical.

Conscious versions of this are things like practicing conversations, practicing facial expressions in a mirror, watching others communicate so that you can mimic them. However, unlike neurotypicals or allistics (non-autistics), at no point do we feel comfortable or confident in doing these performances. It's exhausting and we're very aware of our actions and other's actions.

Unconcious versions of masking are those that are drilled in to us either by society, family (on purpose or not), bullying etc. These include forcing facial expressions, forcing eye contact, forcing vocal tone, holding back or permanently repressing stimming, ignoring special interests due to mocking or bullying, enduring adverse sensory experiences etc. These are often enforced from infancy and we may not even be aware we're doing it. But we are aware we're exhausted from tasks others are not.

Unconcious and conscious masking mix and match. They're fluid, and not everyone experiences the same versions.

2 - Not every autistic masks. Higher needs may not mask, intellectual disabilities may prohibit it, and supportive families may never enforce it. Some autistics grow up and refuse to mask any longer. And many different versions of this, too.

3 - Everyone stims. Stimming is any repetitive behaviour that is used to modify external or internal input via a soothing behaviour. Autistics and many other NDs simply do it a lot more and have more variety. So, yes. If what you described is done in order to add input or block out input, it's stimming.

4 - Not all Autistics struggle with eye contact. Whilst clinicians use it as this big indicator, it's really not.

5 - Lastly, that nurse who spoke to you in that moment of need was a complete ass. Anxiety is difficult, but it's not the end of the road. If CBT therapy didn't help, it may be that you need a modified version, or try something different all together. There are many different therapies and avenues. There is hope, you just need to figure out what road is yours.

I don't know if it's an autism but when I was a kid or even now I smile when looking at people, being around them or talking to them.

Sometimes it didn't happen but most often it did and I'd turn my back when passing by someone because I couldn't stop myself from smiling and laughing even though I didn't want to.

To this day I don't like looking at people because if that, and when I'm mad I can't express my thoughts correctly and end up smiling and laughing which bugs me because I don't want to smile and laugh.

This isn't something I've experienced, but it could be a trigger effect...your brain associates smiling with laughing... So any smiles can trigger laughter. But I can't say for certain.

Tech, I adore you, but you need to work on your communication skills before you get someone hurt.

How are you so calm, Tech?

Y'know what? Fuck it

I want clones that become mandalorian

I want clones finding their familial culture, one that isn't connected to fighting someone else's battle.

God I want this so bad.

I will never not like a Pong Krell hate post, especially one this well done.

Valiant men, the clones have proven to be. Saved my life and yours they have many times. Believe in them we must.

I can totally imagine them doing goofy things like this in their spare time.😆 Those top two are definitely doing it together, no question. I wouldn't be surprised if Plo gave Wolffe some pointers, tbh. And honestly, with all the BS Fox puts up with, he should meditate from time to time.🤣

clone troopers imitating jedi

battlefront ii emotes: choker, choked, lightsaber fight, & meditate

This. This is the post I need to show my family. Thank you for putting this into words.

Explaining autism to an allistic is exhausting.

Because most of the time, in my experience, they don't listen to what I'm telling them that it's a disability and that we force our square shaped selves into the circular world everyday and that slowly erodes the edges of who we are.

They're looking for hidden meanings in order to get Autistics to behave more neurotypical. They want to see us become circles.

I explained why we don't use functioning labels any more. And they will say "yes, but you do function more than some." As if it's an "Ah ha! Caught you!" moment.

I was even told today that I obviously find this all easy. Because I hold it together at work.

And I just get so tired trying to explain that I'm not "Aspie". I'm not "high functioning". I'm not "on the spectrum". I'm not "mostly neurotypical".

We're Autistic, goddamnit.

I just woke up, man... but no, Tumblr chose to get personal today. 😅 Well, at least I'm fully awake now.

ND culture is spending your whole childhood being told you're "too sensitive" and "need to toughen up." Then realizing as an adult that it was basically just "traumatize the ND kid until they stop melting down." Bonus points if the adults in your life still feel justified in how they treated you because you "turned out OK" despite needing years of therapy.

.

Hunter, why?!😭 Well, at least Crosshair can give some burns as well as he takes them yeah I'll see myself out.

Someone stop me-

Please someone stop me-