Youngnumbnbroke - Von

Monsters. Children. Unwanted. Wanted. Nameless. Named.

Susan Sontag, As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh

May Sarton, from Journal of a Solitude [ID in alt text]

~

The Taste of Tea (2004) ‘茶の味’ dir. Katsuhito Ishii

“There is no time, let’s hurry up and go […] to save the world ” - Connie

The other day, lying in bed, I felt my heart beating for the first time in a long while. I realized how little I live in my body, how much in my mind.

Rodger Kamenetz, from Terra Infirma (University of Arkansas Press, 1985)

“You’re so cold Maybe I should set the whole world on fire. Would that be enough to melt the iceberg that you’re holding so dear in your heart? Your past mistakes and regrets. The pain you’re not letting go, never letting go. Would that be enough? Can you not see? I am not her, and you are not him. What you thought was a tornado that would always spiral out of control, was merely your vacant aching heart begging for the pain to stop. Wishing someone would embrace the storm inside of you, make it stand still. Gently and softly. Can you not see? You’re not hard to love. You’re misunderstood. You’re seeking comfort in all the wrong places. Searching for love in the wrong people. Your heart beating fast, running. Time exploding, wishing the pain you felt was earth shattering. Hoping what you feel is so significant. Screaming “please someone notice what I’m feeling.” But it’s all in your head. The thoughts. Unwavering. And your heart slows down, You realise once again You’re overthinking. But you know your heart is still cold and empty, and your head will always be burning hot and filled with thoughts. Always angry.”

— Matchstick // 06.11.2018 // I am not her

1. your suffering can’t end until you stop identifying with it. if your sense of self is tied up in your suffering, anyone or anything that attempts to separate you from it will become the enemy because, whether consciously or subconsciously, you will on some level believe they are trying to take away a part of who you are.

2. read the above again.