"𝑰𝒏 𝒂 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒔, 𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒂 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒏."

when y/n does something so bad/embarrassing you have to facepalm and close your eyes for a minute

reblog if you think sign language should be taught as a language in schools.

🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

I can from experience say that german shepherds are indeed a nightmare. I wouldn't mind helping Jerry with em tho (JERRY PLS MARRY ME)

Filbus is genuinely such a joyous entity like idk he's amazing look at him go man how could you possibly hate him!??? Absolutely joyous and filled with whimsy oh how I adore him

“I’m a Demi girl!” “I’m a Demi boy!” “I’m a trans guy!” I’m a trans girl!” Okay??? I’m Slenderman??? Collect my pages???

the sluttiest thing a man can do is be evan peters

save me romantic c!beeduo save me

.

SmexySmeets AKA creator of Butcher!Wally, Priest!Wally, and alien!wally IS STILL A PR0SHIPPER AND INTERACTING WITH MINORS INAPPROPRIATELY

i’m sick and tired of seeing their au on my dash so please for the LOVE OF GOD REBLOG THIS IS IF YOURE IN THE WELCOME HOME FANDOM

here is proof: this is all recent proof

all screenshots are by missdevis on tiktok

𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝑨𝑳𝑷𝑯𝑨𝑩𝑬𝑻 ── austin sommers ₊ ˙ ⊹ .

⇢ 𝐓ags - 18+/nsfw ． fem!reader

⇢𝓐/n- got a little carried away with this, heh.

𝐀 = 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱)

❥┆austin often experiences a rush of inspiration after an orgasm, so he keeps a notepad and pencil within reach. he pops a black pill and goes straight to writing, which kind of kills the mood. after jotting down a rough outline so brilliant that even shakespeare would envy, he makes up by showering you with kisses and cuddles, repeatedly thanking you and telling you that you're his greatest muse and his one true love, etc. you can always count on receiving princess treatment.

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𝐁 = 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 (𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫’𝐬)

❥┆ he's fixated on your neck and wrists. loves to nuzzle against the crook of your neck and feel the blood pulsing through your veins beneath the thin layer of skin. he has the same obsession with your wrists, too, bringing them to his lips and kissing them.

✶ a/n: picture gomez addams doing that to morticia. sort of creepy, possessive and romantic. the best combo tbh.

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𝐂 = 𝐂𝐮𝐦 (𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐮𝐦, 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲)

❥┆ he loves to cum deep inside you, or in your mouth. makes you swallow it, too. he hates to make a mess on his yves delorme bedsheets. not like he can’t afford to replace them, he simply doesn’t see the need to do extra work.

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𝐃 = 𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 (𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲, 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬)

❥┆he wants to have a threesome with you, including another man.

✶ a/n: *cough* harry gardener-

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𝐄 = 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲? 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠?)

❥┆ austin is very experienced. and with both genders, for that matter.

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𝐅 = 𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠)

❥┆ missionary - all about the eye contact and the intimacy. sex is like a form of art.

❥┆ cowgirl - he gets to lie back and gather his thoughts while admiring the sight of you bouncing on his cock. what more can he ask for?

✶ a/n: also, he likes to fuck you in front of a mirror.

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𝐆 = 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐲 (𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭? 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬? 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

❥┆ one moment, he's murmuring sweet words into your ear as he makes tender love to you, the words so heartfelt and oh so romantic that they bring tears to your eyes. the next, he's saying random shit and cracking jokes.

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𝐇 = 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐫 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲? 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐩𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐬? 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

❥┆ pretty sparse down there already, but still nicely trimmed.

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𝐈 = 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭? 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭)

❥┆ a hopeless romantic with the soul of a whore. he'll light up candles, burn incense, and scatter rose petals— the whole schmear. also a glass of wine and background music to help set the mood.

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𝐉 = 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟𝐟 (𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧)

❥┆ austin detests pornography; absolutely hates it. he considers it vulgar and devoid of any artistic value. however, he occasionally indulges in reading erotica while jacking off, but he prefers to fuck you personally.

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𝐊 = 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤 (𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬)

❥┆ he’s into rough kinky shit. very open about it, too— he’s into blood play, bdsm, threesomes, choking, and roleplay.

❥┆blood play: very obvious one, i know. he wears his “normal teeth” when he’s licking the blood off your skin.

❥┆bdsm: plays the dom role most of the time, but he’s willing to play the (super bratty) sub, too.

❥┆roleplay: very invested in the “theatrical and artistic aspects”, to the point where he writes out entire scripts.

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𝐋 = 𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐝)

❥┆ you two have christened the house by making love in every room and on every available surface. austin insists it imbues his “creative sanctum” with the perfect writing atmosphere. whatever the hell that means. his second favourite spot is the back seat of his rolls royce.

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𝐌 = 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐨𝐧)

❥┆ he gets very horny after a few glasses of wine. or a few pints of fresh blood– same thing. you could literally breathe in his direction and boom he gets a hard-on.

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𝐍 = 𝐍𝐨 (𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐝𝐨, 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐬)

❥┆golden showers and gun play. the former is plain disgusting and the latter is too risky, even for him.

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𝐎 = 𝐎𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

❥┆ austin definitely prefers receiving over giving, perhaps it's a side effect of the black pill. he can be rather selfish in this aspect. when you’re on you’re period.. let’s just say that the tables are turned.

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𝐏 = 𝐏𝐚𝐜𝐞 (𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡? 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥?)

❥┆ either he's making slow, sensual love to you, like he’s playing a musical instrument with precision and finesse, or he's straight up fucking you like an animal. no in-between with this guy.

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𝐐 = 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐞 (𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

❥┆ austin dislikes quickies in general; he prefers the intimacy and connection of “making love”. to him, quickies are anticlimactic and boring.

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𝐑 = 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐤 (𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭? 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤𝐬? 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

❥┆yes. he’s totally game for something new. takes a lot of creativity to even faze him because he’s seen it all.

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𝐒 = 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭?)

❥┆ austin has an unnaturally high stamina; it’s fucking insane. he can last for hours before finally tapping out. 

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𝐓 = 𝐓𝐨𝐲𝐬 (𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐲𝐬? 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦? 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬?)

❥┆ he owns a bunch of toys, but most of them are either unused or used only once. he has a few favourite ones that he uses on you. oh and he likes to wear cockrings. that too.

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𝐔 = 𝐔𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞)

to build up tension and dramatic effect? hell yes, he’ll edge you for hours. pretends to get annoyed when you do the exact same thing to him. (he loves it)

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𝐕 = 𝐕𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐞 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

❥┆ really talkative during sex, you can’t get him to shut up. occasional grunts and groans, but mostly it’s sweet talk laced with filthy innuendos. when you're topping him, then oh my god he’s all whines and whimpers.

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𝐖 = 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝 (𝐚 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫)

❥┆sometimes he brags about your sexy time to belle noir. and in vivid detail, too. later, she used it in her latest steamy novel, which was an award-winning bestseller, obviously. when you read the book yourself, you were hit by an instant sense of deja vu. he confessed when you confronted him, shrugging and saying that your love is now permanently engraved in the form of literature. and really, you couldn’t stay mad at him after that.

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𝐗 = 𝐗-𝐫𝐚𝐲 (𝐥𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬)

❥┆ seven inches. pretty veiny, too.

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𝐘 = 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞?)

❥┆ when you tease him for his ridiculously high sex drive, he counters you with “now sexual obsessions are the basis of artistic creation. accumulated frustration leads to what freud calls the process of sublimation. anything that does not take place erotically sublimates itself in the work of art” in other words, boy is horny and pretentious 24/7.

✶a/n: that’s a quote from dali and i think it’s pretty cool.

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𝐙 = 𝐙𝐳𝐳 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬)

❥┆his mind is buzzing with new inspiration, so he usually stays up and write. rarely falls asleep unless he’s already had a good amount of alcohol in him.

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