Babe Heffron - Blog Posts

Easy compagny ft the powerpuff girls

____________________________________

Spiers :

Talbert :

Perconte :

Nixon :

Grant and Liebgott :

Winters :

Toye :

Babe :

Guarnere :

Malarkey :

You're the Bill Guarnere to my Babe Heffron :)

I'm not crying or anything, there's just something in my eye 😭😭😭❤❤❤. I love this and you so much!!

^^ I mean who wouldn't wanna be as good of friends as these men were?? (TV portrayals in the 1st and real life men in the 2nd)

Luz: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Liebgott: Punch him in the stomach, then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him

Malarkey: Tackle him

Perconte: Dump him

Babe: Kick him in the shin

Toye: NO TO ALL OF THOSE! JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN, YOU IDIOT!

Easy company as cats

Dick -  Big ginger tomcat who always finds the best hiding spots to catch birds, well-mannered and rarely ever meows. Spends most of the day outside or curled up pressed to his owner, never bothering anyone though. Has a neat collar with a classic little nametag. You can trust him not to make any trouble if you forget to let him out into the garden when you leave for work in the morning. He likes water and sometimes stays outside in the rain chasing raindrops. Is best friends with the neighbour’s black persian.

Nix - Said black persian. His owners keep him in absolute luxury, feeding him tuna every day and brushing out the knots in his fur, but he runs out through his little cat door each afternoon and gets it messy again. Taught Dick how to use that cat door and now they trot in and out of the house as they please. Nix drinks milk at both of their places and scoffs at water. Generally lazy, but doesn’t protest against stroking or cuddling.

Speirs - Cat of unknown origin, possibly stray, always sitting on the fence or on the porch staring inside all creepily without blinking. Has beautiful black and white markings, a real magpie cat. Presents various carcasses to Lipton and sometimes live prey to play with. Once in a while, he lets Lipton groom his head and ears, but no human you know of has been able to catch him. Leaves half a rabbit on your doormat at night so that you can step on it in the morning.

Lipton - Is a huge cat with sandy-dark brown fur that stands every which way in tufts. Got bitten at the hip by a dog and almost died, but his owners didn’t give up on him and he healed with only a small scar as a reminder. He’s really nice and friendly, calm, lets children play with him and curls up on your chest to purr when you’re sick or depressed. Isn’t afraid of fireworks. Has disappeared for two days once and you found him in the shed with the bicolor stray, lethargic from an infection, but mostly warm in a box of work clothes the stray seemed to have claimed as his bed.

Luz - Long-haired siamese cat that keeps running around the house and meows for no damn reason. If you don’t pay attention to him, he tries meowing at different pitches. Seems to understand how conversations work, because he makes tiny “mrow” sounds when you talk to him. Likes to hide behind the bookshelf and wait until you pass by to attack-hug your leg with (mostly) soft paws, then runs off again. Gets crazy from laser pointers and can practically run up the wall chasing the little red dot. 

Toye - Battered stray that got adopted by Luz’s owners from the death row. One of his hind legs broke and healed wrong before he was caught, so he has a limp. He’s unfriendly and doesn’t like to be touched, keeps growling if you pick him up, and he has real sharp claws that no one dared trim yet. He’s a little on the thin side right now, but his new owners are trying to cure him back to health. In the evening, he likes to curl up with Luz in a nest they share. Doesn’t play.

Babe - Ragdoll kitten, isn’t mature yet. Purrs at the slightest touch. True to his breed, goes boneless and soft if you pick him up, and everyone wants to cuddle with him. Once, he got stung by an insect and his right paw swelled to twice its original size. Considers rolling onto his back and batting at your fingers as the most enjoyable playtime. He likes to go up to adult cats and jump on them or eat their food, but they don’t tend to hiss at him for some reason. Strictly indoor cat.

Roe - Slender chartreux cat who likes to groom your hair with his cute pink tongue. Lives with Babe and carries him by his scruff like a momma even though he’s a male cat. Been lost a few times before, so he became an indoor cat too, because his owners prefer to keep him safe. When it’s cold, he tucks his paws under his body and sleeps like a loaf of bread. Eats chocolate whenever he can, fishing out the wrappers from the trashbin when he’s naughty.

Webster - Mostly indoor cat, a white angora with blue eyes. Came from the best breeder in town, is a frequent contestant on cat shows. He even learnt a few tricks from his owner. He’s very docile and practically offers himself when it’s time for his evening brush or a regular nail trim. He can walk on a leash without trouble and wears knit socks without fuss. Stays still when his owner wants pictures. Has a sensitive stomach and pukes on the carpet if he doesn’t get good food, is allowed to sit on the kitchen counter.

Liebgott - Scrawny tabby streetcat that hangs out in Webster’s territory and sprays on the bushes. He and Webster get into noisy fights every week, sometimes through the glass of a window or the screen door. Webster’s owners are upset about it, fearing that Lieb is going to scratch Web’s beautiful face up, but once, they accidentally let Web out on his own and find him and Lieb pressing their noses together curiously. Lieb can be coaxed into a short petting, but he bites when he gets bored of it. Made the neighbour’s Rottweiler howl once by clawing at its nose.

Guarnere - “Tomcat of the block”. Goes out on his daily prowl at night and chases after the female cats, dropping litters around the neighbourhood for the lucky owners to take care of. He’s striped like a tiger and has an M on his forehead. He’s small but can be ferocious when it comes to what he thinks is his. He kept puffing up when he saw Dick a few houses down the street, but he entered Dick’s territory once, got smacked in the nose, and now he’s okay with simply keeping his respectful distance. Is on a special diet because of a urinary infection.

Shifty - An adorable Scottish fold. He’s a talented bird hunter and can jump surprisingly high. Was hit by a car once just when he finally got home from a vet visit, but got away with a few broken bones. He has such sad eyes that it’s a challenge not to pick him up all the time. If you take him into your arms, he headbutts your neck affectionately. Seems to stare at and watch invisible things sometimes, staying motionless in hunting position for minutes. He sleeps with his owner at night.

Malarkey - Used to be a fearful kitten, walking around staying low and close to the ground, but he doesn’t much mind noise now. Gets confused at times when things change, for example, it takes days for him to tuck in without hesitation when you buy him a new brand of food. Has his own basket next to his owner’s armchair and likes to hide there, sometimes sticking his head out and staring warily for a minute or two before settling back down. Sometimes, he wanders into the garage and gets oil stains on his ash-colored fur, so his owner has to bathe him regularly.

Talbert - He’s a gorgeous bengal cat with big green eyes. Very agile and smart, likes to play with pieces of yarn and loves climbing trees. Always greets his owner at the end of a workday by running up to the car with his tail in the air. His favourite sleeping place is under the rosebushes. Likes to lurk around in the dark at night, but sometimes that gets him into trouble, like that time when he broke a vase and got a piece of it wedged in his paw. Dick’s other neighbour, they like to sunbathe together.

Now, who’s who in the pictures below? And which kitten would you take home with you?

Speirs: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Speirs: [throws water bottles at the other paratroopers]

Lip: Uh...

Luz: He's trying to yell mental health and well-being into us.

Speirs: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!

Babe: [crying] It’s working.

Speirs: You may all ask me one (1) question. That's it. Make it count.

Babe: Why aren't there lowercase and uppercase numbers?

Speirs:

Speirs: What?

Babe: I want to write loud numbers.

Babe: Can you dust my wets?

Doc Roe: You can just ask for Parmesan cheese

Babe, confused, lifts all of his spaghetti with his hands: Please. My wets.

Babe Heffron: Captain? I’m having problems with a boy.

Ron Speirs: Like “his dead body won’t fit into your trunk” problems or “you like him” problems?

Babe Heffron: … “I like him” problems.

Ron Speirs: Too bad, I could have helped with the other one.

Luz: What if you eat an apple a day?

Doc Roe:

Babe: You just blew my mind.

“Hey Gene, you called me babe.”

Guarnere: Oh look, it’s Doc.

Babe: Oh, no! You can’t let him see me like this!

Guarnere: Like what? You look fine.

Babe, mortified, taking a deep breath: I’m not wearing cool socks today.

Roe: From one to ten how much it hurts?

Babe: Pi Greek.

Babe: You’re on a date with someone when they refer to guacamole as avocado jelly. What do you do?

Penkala: Bash their brains in.

Muck: Propose.

Luz: Bold of you to assume I’m on a date

Toye: What’s up with Babe?

Guarnere: Doc giggled.

Babe, laying on the floor: hE-!!!

A’ight, hear me out—

Just imagine Tangled

but with Eugene as Rapunzel

and Babe as Flynn Rider

And instead of Eugene having the whole magic hair thing, it’s his hands that heal people.

And at the end of the story instead of getting his hair cut off, he is cursed by his evil godmother to never be able to heal someone ever again. (And of course he finds a loophole. I mean, how could he not? He’s Eugene fucking Roe.)

Babe: Hey, Gene! Guess what?

Babe: I’m baby.

Eugene: What?

Babe, grinning: I’m baby.

Eugene:

Eugene: But... I thought you were Babe.

“I will corrupt you” squad: Luz, Liebgott, Speirs, Nixon, Heffron, Toye, Guarnere

“No, protect the innocent!” gang: Martin, Lipton, Compton, Randleman, Powers, Winters, Welsh, Malarkey

“The innocent” nest: Webster and Doc Roe

[E Company huddled around a table]

Guarnere: Hey! Cap’n Winters, Cap’n Nixon, c’mere for a second!

Luz: We have something for ya!

Nixon & Winters: *jogging over*

Nixon: Whatcha got there?

E Company: *smiling*

Liebgott: *gives them both hand-made Father’s Day cards signed by all of them*

Winters, a mess: Oh...my...God

Nixon: *crying*

Babe: *hands Speirs a card* We made one for you, too, Lieutenant Speirs.

Malarkey: Do you like it?

Speirs, choking up: It’s fine.

Babe: I just realized that I have two ears.

Guarnere: You just realized that you have two ears?

Roe: Okay, that's enough! No more talking about George Luz!

Babe: But you told me to get it out of my system.

Roe: I had no idea how much you had in your system!

Luz: Lipton, it's time to stop treating me like a child. And it's also time to stop feeding us dinosaur-shaped chicken.

Lipton: But you love your dinosaur chicken!

Luz: Yeah...when I was eight.

Perconte: We are men now, Lip.

Babe, playing with his chicken: Rawr!

Roe: How long are you going to be mad at me?

Babe: Ten minutes.

Babe: Don't worry, if you ever need me, I’m available 24/6.

Doc Roe: You mean 24/7?

Babe: No, I'm afraid Saturday is Hang Out With Bill Day.

Band Of Brothers Modern AU Headcanons

(No one asked for this, but you know what? I’m still gonna do it.)

The guys all live in the same apartment building.

Dick doesnt understand 99.9% of pop culture. You could probably show him a thirty minute PowerPoint about what “ok boomer” means and he still wouldn’t understand.

Dick listens to old country music and Nix absolutely hates it.

Nix works at the local animal shelter and wants to bring a dog home almost every day, but Dick always tells him that the two dogs they have are enough.

Liebgott listens to Indie music.

He’s also the bass guitarist in a band called The Flashbacks.

The Flashbacks mostly cover songs by The White Stripes, Pixies, Metric, Arctic Monkeys, and occasionally Cavetown, but they do perform a few songs that Liebgott has written, including one dedicated to Webster.

Guarnere plays the drums in The Flashbacks.

Webster writes poetry and everyone claims to hate it. (Spoiler alert: they don’t.)

Webster is Instagram famous. (He mostly posts aesthetic photos he’s taken or little bits of his poetry.)

Luz is a huge fan of all kinds of ghosts, demons, and cryptids, but his favorite would have to be Mothman. He even went to West Virginia to look for him once, but ended up not seeing him.

Luz knows all of the lyrics to Take On Me and Tainted Love and sings them when he gets bored. Sometimes he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.

Toye has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and used to go boxing with Guarnere every Saturday before they got in a car crash.

Eugene can sing and play piano. Like... Really well.

Eugene has a banana ball python named Peaches.

Babe used to paint a lot when he was a teenager, so now he’s really good at it. His favorite thing to paint is Eugene’s cat, Magnolia.

Lipton owns a small tea and coffee shop.

Lipton’s shop actually brought him and Ron together. Ron was a regular and always changed up his order to make it more complicated so he could stay longer and talk to Lip.

Ron has a rottweiler puppy named Dally and he carries him around in a puppy backpack. They have matching sunglasses.

Ron is a big Outsiders fan. He’s been to the museum in Tusla five times and read the book at least thirteen times. (And yes, he named his puppy after Dallas Winston.)

Shifty sends everyone a wholesome meme each morning to let them know that they are loved.

Shifty works at Lipton’s tea and coffee shop.

Muck eats tomatoes like apples and everyone’s extremely disgusted by it.

Malarkey, Muck, and Penkala like to hide tiny plastic alligators in front of everyone’s apartments. (They always put sharks in front of Webster’s apartment.)

Luz, Babe, Malarkey, Muck, and Penkala are in a group chat called “RIP Vine 😔😔😔” and each member sends a meme every day. It’s been going on for two years.

Everyone always goes to Buck’s football games, even though most of them don’t care for the sport, because they enjoy screaming at the other team.

Luz, Babe, And Talbert are Tik Tok famous.

Winters: We’re a perfectly normal family

Luz: *playing 7 nation army with forks hitting the piano*

Liebgott: *setting David’s clothes on fire*

Roe: *praying in the corner while Babe tries to “cut” his hair*

Winters: Yep! Perfectly Norma-! LEWIS NIXON PUT DOWN THE VODKA ITS 11 IN THE MORNING

Babe: Are you alright? You didn't sleep at all last night.

Roe: I got a solid eight minutes.

Roe: Not consecutively, but it's fine. You're not even that blurry