Your personal Tumblr library awaits
Detrans - Blog Posts
Ok, real request. I need more people telling me I'm dumb. Gaslight me, give me instructions then tell me I did it wrong. Make me feel as stupid as I am cause I don't feel dumb yet!!
Normalize cute, cis-passing trans girls throwing it all away and becoming hairy, masculine, straight alpha males.
Normalize pretty trans icons that inspired a new generation of trans girls completely transforming into perverted, transphobic dude bros.
Normalize girls that started hrt early and never finished male puberty going off estrogen and letting their real adult body finally develop.
Yes this is from personal experience. Yes I used to be a slightly well known trans Internet personality. No, I'm certainly not anymore :)
and at this point it's much more than just a kink.
THIS
also its weird to assume that all detrans people are transphobic when in fact most of them support trans people and are grateful that they had the opportunity to explore their identity in the first place.
its stupid transphobes that put words in their mouths like "detrans people regret their transition they dont want anyone else to go through that!!!" when in fact most detrans people do not regret their transition in the way transphobes think they doš
just saw a post where someone put ādetrans dniā and likeā¦ hey we should be supporting detransitioned people bc if we donāt terfs will
Anyways - Iām still just kinda testing the waters and figuring out where to go from here. I know I need to detransition, bc of health concerns and ALSO bc of the fact that Iām realizing that I am just. A GNC lesbian with severe internalized sexism and homophonia, getting groomed by TiMs for literal YEARS and ātransitionedā at 15 also didnāt help!
If anybody has any resources (?) abt detransition, leaving cults behind, radical feminism, or gender-critical focused, PLEASE let me know! Iām feeling pretty lost and isolated rn, especially since my own former ācommunityā shunned me for having regrets. But I guess it is what it is.
helloā¦.. iām a bit nervous because iāve never really interacted with radfems as a dysphoric person before but i would just like to reach out for some help, if at all possible. to the dysphoric/detransitioned radfems: what are some things that helped you cope with your dysphoria? iāve been really starting to question wether or not transitioning is something i want to do, and iām trying to consider ways of dealing with dysphoria through other means before going down that path. anything at all helps, thank you.
My tip is to stop using the word dysphoria as an umbrella term for all of your discomfort and instead break down all of your symptoms and work on each of those separately. Ex: "the idea of people seeing me as a woman makes me dysphoric -> feel anxious" (then look up ways to handle anxiety), "seeing my breasts makes me dysphoric -> want to rip them off (or something similar)" (look into ways to combat thoughts of self harm, for example I started drawing on myself with markers to give me something else to look at), "I associate women with feminity, so identifying as a woman makes me dysphoric -> feel like I don't belong" (work on changing your mental definition of a woman, I did this both by unfollowing almost all of the feminine women on my social media and replacing them with other gnc women (this doesn't have to be a permanent change if you don't want it to, do what works best for you) and by writing my own stories where women were represented the way I wanted to be seen (I did this because I found it really difficult to find media like that already made))
Dysphoric radfems sound off with tips on how you deal with it
Body Neutrality for Females with Dysphoria:
Are you dysphoric? Are you sick of body positivity? Are you female? Here are some affirmations that you can try out to counteract your negative internal monologue.
Whenever you think a negative/dysphoric thought, tell yourself one of these affirmations. If it feels corny or dumb, thatās a good sign. It means youāre challenging your brainās self-hatred. You are redirecting your brain and challenging your usual thought patterns.
General body:
My body allows me to perform the tasks I need to survive
My body is worthy of respect
This form is the product of years of human evolution
Uterus:
Thank you uterus, for providing structural integrity and support to my bladder, bowel, pelvic bones and organs
Period:
Cramps are temporary
Periods are a natural, normal biological function
Ovaries:
Thank you ovaries, for helping me regulate hormones and stay healthy
Feel free to add any that you come up with!
Body Neutrality for Females with Dysphoria:
Are you dysphoric? Are you sick of body positivity? Are you female? Here are some affirmations that you can try out to counteract your negative internal monologue.
Whenever you think a negative/dysphoric thought, tell yourself one of these affirmations. If it feels corny or dumb, thatās a good sign. It means youāre challenging your brainās self-hatred. You are redirecting your brain and challenging your usual thought patterns.
General body:
My body allows me to perform the tasks I need to survive
My body is worthy of respect
This form is the product of years of human evolution
Uterus:
Thank you uterus, for providing structural integrity and support to my bladder, bowel, pelvic bones and organs
Period:
Cramps are temporary
Periods are a natural, normal biological function
Ovaries:
Thank you ovaries, for helping me regulate hormones and stay healthy
Feel free to add any that you come up with!
I dunno man, I just think the constant harping about how trans men's bodies are ruined and infertile is, like, bad.
I'm less concerned about their ability to have babies than I am about them developing permanent disabilities, or being in constant pain, or becoming incontinent.
You donāt have to love your body. You donāt even have to like it. But you have to find ways to live with it, as well as you can, and be kind to it whenever possible.
Your body is not the outward expression of your soul. It is not a reflection or a representation of your worth or your True Self. Itās just inhabited meat. Itās a flesh machine with planned obsolescence, and you have to take care of it.
Itās good to love your body, if you can. It will enhance your timed experience of the world if you can appreciate it without too much resentment for the ways it fails or disappoints you. But if you cannot love it, strive at least for neutrality. Make truces with it, however uneasy, and treat it with the respect you would show to any other animal shape.
i hate how conservatives (and some āradfemsā) frame detransition.
This girl used to be beautiful but now... sheās manly.. sheās strange, she does not fit in, what a tragedy!
i haaaate it.
On top of being incredibly mysoginystic, it does not adress other effects of transition, like health effects, and the things that actually pushed people to transitioning in the first place! It creates more problems than it tries to adress.
Who fucking cares how you look after being on T? I donāt. You have more body hair, a different fat distribution? Great! Thatās not the reason people should be critical of transitioning!
repeat after me:
even if i donāt like my body today i will take care of it
even if i donāt like myself today i will still be patient and kind with myself
even if i do not love myself i will still take care of and be kind to myself, despite not wanting to
there is no way to hate myself into becoming a person i like.
there is no way to shame myself into a better life.
i canāt motivate myself to heal in the same ways i encouraged my own destruction.
There are other women like you. There are other women who think the way you think, who feel the way you feel, who act the way you act. There always have been and there always will be. Womanhood isnāt whatever shallow archetype the world has tried to convince you that it is. Itās going to be okay.
Binding Damage
I bound my breasts almost full time for around 2 years before I had my mastectomy. As a result, my lung capacity is reduced and the muscles around my ribcage are still much less strong than they were before I began binding, even though it has been over a year now since I have worn a binder or even a bra. I even bound āsafelyā using an Underworks compression vest in the correct size, never with ace bandages or any other methods. I still canāt take a full, deep breath like I used to.Ā
Does anyone have any tricks to regaining lung capacity and strengthening the rib/chest/abdominal muscles after binding? Iām not sure how to increase lung capacity itself or how to exercise the particular muscles that have been effected but Iād like to regain some strength if possible.Ā
This evening I assembled a piece of really cheap, shitty furniture with nothing but my equally cheap and shitty leatherman. I took this time to take my shirt off and complete a task while I was fully in my body and focused. As I crouched over to fasten screws into the piece, I was very conscious of how my stomach had rolls when I bent over, and how my hips bulged out a bit from my pants when I leaned. I usually feel pretty grossed out by how my body looks and behaves in these situations, how characteristically feminine and soft is appears, but I made myself sit with it this time. I wanted to reach for my shirt to cover my body up but I didnāt. For three hours, I bent over, drove screws into metal, and watched as my (soft, lumpy) body completed the task. I grew more and more content with the body performing the work as the project came together. When I was finished I felt so confident and pleased with the new addition to my apartment that I hung out with my shirt off for the rest of the night.Ā
This is an example of an approach to a dysphoric moment that, rather than hiding or disguising my body, highlights my bodyās existing capabilities and its inherent good. This method does nothing to create the illusion that my body is somehow different than what it really is. Essentially, this strategy is the opposite of that utilized through binders/packers/etc., devices that attempt to alter the appearance of the body, and thus the experience of being in that body, to relieve dysphoria. I distracted myself from my discomfort with a task that required a lot of concentration (those instructions were also shit, lol), and I became more familiar with how my body looked and felt over the course of a few hours. The familiarity somewhat desensitized me from the feelings of revulsion I typically feel toward my body.Ā
Being uncomfortable with feminity doesnāt mean that you are not a woman
It means that feminity is uncomfortable and has nothing to do with being a woman