Frustrated - Blog Posts

Okay guys I can’t watch the spider man across the spider verse movie for another few weeks and it sucks bc I know it’s going to be AMAZING and I still can’t draw fanart. (I may or may not just be overly excited.) Oh and if any of you watched the movie, how was it?

Passing through

I see you staring from the street Our eyes at a brief meet It's not like we could speak For words utterance makes us weak It's been awkward since then You trying hard to become a man You're praying hard not to falter Wish I could scream it from an alter I've tried to move passed this Every person since being a miss I can't help but wonder If you've had as many blunders We've changed, but not enough Feel like without you, I've gotten tough Out exteriors so soft and sweet But the chill in my chest gives me cold feet Talking again would be really nice But a person like you doesn't take that vice Instead we'll stand here across the street Running from each other without a second beat

Silly Frustration

This one is for those who write their name small and messy

For the ones that got pushed into Besse

They’re ashamed and scared of the mistakes

With every single dreadful take

Sitting in my frustration

Study my realization

That I’m stuck

Out of bad luck

Can’t move in my seat

He’s watching in my normal horrible fleet

I studied my fast wit

Realizing I only have so much grit

Oh what I didn’t study

Does he see me as a silly fuddy-duddy?

My frustration should have,

Had him halved

Does he know how hard?

I don’t think he comprehends my backyard

His yearbook I should have signed to have no regrets

I lost my bet

Now I write my name small

I make anxious job calls

Afraid of making things worse,

I silently curse

Fire

Burning, tired anger

What am I doing with this stranger?

The world on fire, is a danger

Let it burn My existence is a shout into the void

I came out irritated and annoyed

Talking and joking just to avoid,

The fact that the world is on fire Live and burn

It’s always my turn

Why can’t I learn?

It’s because I’m trying not to catch a fire Teachers make me fail

Dietitians make me eat lousy kale

I’ll never stop listening to the storm with the hail

In order to mute the crackle of the flame I don’t need saving

But the charred roads need a new paving

But for Sara I’ll try to keep braving

I’m not brave; I’m just immune to the burn I can’t send mail

I think I’m made out of puppy dog tails

Not sugar and spices that you can buy in pails

Red, orange, yellow, blue Where are you mystery one?

The world is now the sun

Living in hell with no where to run

What moment did the world catch fire?

There goes all my faaken energy and weekend excitement! #shit #PhotoToaster #frustrated

Guilt sucks, honestly. I hate feeling guilty, especially over nothing. It's not a guilt of "oh I did this thing and that was wrong of me :(" its the guilt of "I feel this way and I feel like I shouldn't". It's a guilt of imagined transgression and I really wish it would stop. Though I cannot tell which way I would prefer more, the guilt to recede and finding satisfaction with my feelings, or my feelings coming to align with the manner I imagine they should, thus eliminating the guilt.

I don't often like sharing feelings like this, in fact venting or exposing my emotions just makes me feel guilty for taking up other people's times or thoughts with my nonsense, but it was a thought looping my mind over and over enough that it required a post.