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I don't know how to describe it, but genderfluidity gives me probably the weirdest type of gender envy and dysphoria. I have been feeling my AGAB for a while now, but watching Juno Birch and hearing her voice, kinda just flipped the switch and brought on gender dysphoria. I don't know how to explain my thoughts, but something about transfeminine presentations and being just give me gender envy when I feel dysphoric femininely. I don't know why, they don't do anything different, they're just women being women, but the way they present themselves, their style and mannerisms just feels....different to me. It just feels right, and it feels unattainable to me, but I don't see why. I don't know why.
"Gender is a biological fact." Bitch, fucking vegetables are a social construct, you think I'm going to trust society about gender???
I'm writing a paper right now for school and the Inquiry Question (IQ) that inspired it is "What is gender, and why do we as a society put so much pressure on labeling it exactly?"
I do not know where to start as the first thing I need to do is define gender. I myself have not been able to do so in my 18 years, and I highly doubt that I will be able to do so within these next few months as I write this paper.
I have decided that for the purpose of this paper, I will view gender the same way The Doctor views time; "a big ball of wibbily wobbily timey wimey stuff". As I conduct my research, I have come to the realization that my IQ will require a lot of unraveling as gender is such a large and complex knot of culture, religion, society, psychology, and philosophy.
I am posting this to conduct research. I want to hear about other people's experiences with gender. I want to hear from anyone and everyone with how they view gender. Please let me know. I am so so curious.