Your personal Tumblr library awaits
As the title says I’m going to talk about toxic friendships because they’re shitty as hell dude. Like there were these two people that I knew, well okay we go to the same school and well one of ‘em was possessive of me, and didn’t respect my physical boundaries and he’d always lean on me (without asking mind you) during the classes we had together, and we still unfortunately have those same classes together, but I sit with other people who respect me, which wow...it’s truly amazing. This person and another person put down my art and called it projection every time I would show them a piece and they brought down one of my closest friends. I’m in the midst of relearning some social skill that I had learned from those unhealthy relationships. Also the physical-boundary-person and the rip-my-confidence-for-showing-art-person were really judgemental, not that I’m not judgemental at all, but they for sure clouded my judgement. I hung out with both of them because I was scared and insecure, and then I started loving myself and I started seeing the cracks. Also the symbiote-person liked me at a certain point, making the “affection” make me feel as if I were being taking advantage of because I gave them a second chance, hell I might’ve given him more than he deserved. I understand that they both have shit going on. I GET THAT! I just don’t want them to hurt other people and that includes themselves. They need to grow up for fucks sake! I’m just so tired of having to be sympathetic towards people who hurt me! I know I definitely contributed and I’m sorry that I did! They are like babies (or just middle schoolers...no offence to anyone who’d in middle school)! I’m tired of having to be mature! I’m tired of feeling hurt! I’m tired of seeing their guilty faces! Okay one of them always looks guilty and he also stares at me (symbiote-person) sometimes and it’s creepy as hell! I deleted their contacts because I need to let them go, but it’s so hard because I still feel so hurt and I’m scared that one of ‘em will try to pull me back. I’m so scared. I’m scared to be vulnerable again. I want to be strong, but what if I’m judged so hard. I’m so fucking scared. I wanna be a better friend to other people than they ever were to me.