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I Need This So Bad - Blog Posts
Well, I can now!🥹😭
Can you imagine having trouble sleeping, insomnia, nightmares, etc., and Magnus coming to your bedroom because he senses your distress? Then he would tell you to just... relax and close your eyes, and he would use his powers to put you into a deep sleep, personally shaping your dreams into something nice and comforting. He would leave after he's sure you're taken care of, and in the morning, you'll wake up refreshed and loved.
The under presents x Batman
Ladies and gentlemen!
If you loved the story of the aikman, you’ll love the story of the detective who tried to solve it!
Join the world’s greatest detective and his family in their attempt to solve the fan favorite mystery, in this thrilling sequel to the tragic story of time-boat!
Coming soon to a time loop near you!
heres a comp of all the kissing I caught at tboy wrestling 😗
“i need a-“ i need to have a heart to heart with tech where he tells me that he’s proud of me
THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE.
I just think Jasper needs to meet Hyde so he can eventually have a moment of “*excited gasp* my two dads are the same dad”
i don't even wanna go to any of my dr's, screw that. i just want to be in my majestic fantastic beautiful whimsical wr with good vibes, green vines and warm sofa and sleep for a week with no human contact whatsoever. no socialization, just peace and quiet. im so tireddddd
this is absolutely a gold mine
I’m on the second episode of My Adventures With Superman and I KNOW I know, this deserves to be Clark’s show, BUT HEAR ME OUT A SECOND.
Imagine the Waynes didn’t die and Thomas is trying DESPERATELY to buy the Daily Planet from White, but to absolutely no avail.
“For the last time, Wayne, you can have this company when the Gotham Knights win a Stanley Cup.”
“Y’all cheated last year and you KNOW it, White! Come on! We knew each other for 20 years—“
“Not true.”
“You gotta have ONE nice thing to say about me! You saw my charity records? My trip to the Amazon? I found a goddam dinosaur, for Pete’s sake!”
“And you sent it to the Gotham museum.”
“…Well yeah, it looked real pretty.”
“Look, Wayne. I can either give your ego the stroke of the century, or keep Lane and those two idiot interns in check, but I can’t do both. Now get out of here, or—“
Clark clearing his throat, holding two cups of coffee in his comically large hands, “Uh, the coffee machine broke, so I had to run to the store. Is this a bad time?”
Thomas whistling, because what the FUCK. “Christ, boy, how tall are you? How tall is he, White? You a security guard? You WANNA be a security guard?”
“Uh, Clark Kent. Idiot intern,” Clark introduced himself politely despite Perry’s grumbling.
Needless to say, Thomas Wayne is…Intimidating.
“I’ve heard about your research on metahuman physics, Mr. Wayne. It’s brilliant.”
“Oh, that? That was all my boy, really. He’s got all these ideas about reinventing the healthcare system for everybody or something like that. Hell, he wants to invent some bandaids for that Superman fella. “
“That,” Clark blinked, “Actually sounds amazing.”
“Right?. The other day he came to me like, ‘Can I have 30,000 for a research expedition?’ You should’ve seen him in his little lab coat, — cutest thing. Hold on, I have pictures.”
Clark expected a particularly eccentric 10 year not, not a — gorgeous— adult man in what looked to be a great amount of eyeliner and one hell of a scowl. “He’s…” gorgeous, “He seems interesting.”
“Ain’t he? You should meet him sometime. Hates talking to the press, but, I’m sure we can arrange something. “
“Good luck with that. I tried interviewing the kid alone for 10 minutes and Mr. Wayne here kept getting in the way. Probably because he has something to hide.”
“Bruce ain’t really made for the camera, so I had to step in, ya know how it is. He ain’t really the independent kind.” Thomas shrugs. “I know, I know, — you gotta leave em to fly sometimes, and while I bet he’d look cute tryin’,”
Thomas chuckles, but it doesn’t sound amusing. At all. “No bird leaves MY nest.”
—
Clark finds out why Perry can’t prove Thomas Wayne is Batman. It’s because he’s wrong. He’s listened to Batman’s heartbeat before. And Thomas doesn’t stutter.
Bruce Wayne does, thought.
If you've been following my concept for an AU where Bill isn't evil, you'll know I've been planning to write a fanfic about it. I plan on posting an actual multichapter AU fic on AO3 eventually, but here's a snippet from one of the early chapters for now because I'm drunk and haven't decided I hate it yet
"Well, children, I think it's finally time I introduce you to my husband."
Mabel's eyes widened. "Ohmygosh, Grunkle Ford, you have a HUSBAND?!"
Dipper furrowed his brows. "Our parents never mentioned you being married..."
"Yes, well," Ford cleared his throat, eyes darting around, "The family doesn't exactly... Know. Well, aside from my brother, Stanley, who I'll also be introducing you to fairly soon."
"Grunkle Ford, do you really think the rest of the family would judge you for liking guys?" Mabel raised an eyebrow, "I like guys and girls, and no one cares!"
Ford shook his head. "Oh, no, that's not why I- you know what? It'll be easier to explain once you've met him."
He led them to his room. Mabel was bouncing in place with anticipation, while Dipper was looking at his great uncle skeptically. Why all the secrecy?
Ford knocked on the bedroom door. "Bill, are you in there? I'd like to introduce you to the kids!"
"Ugh, FINALLY! I was going insane hiding in this damn room all day. Well, more insane than usual, haha!" a chipper, pitchy voice said on the other side of the door.
The door opened to reveal... A floating yellow triangle. He had one eye, a bowtie, and a top hat. He was holding two small sacks, both seemingly made from the skin of some indeterminate creature.
"Hiya, mini-Pines! Name's Bill Cipher," he tossed each of them a bag, "A little something to welcome you in!"
Dipper had several questions, but was currently stunned into silence. He opened his bag curiously, fighting the urge to throw it down the hallway when he saw its contents: teeth. The "present" prompted a whole new series of questions: What kind of teeth even are these? How did he get them? Why did he think that this was an appropriate gift for children?
"Woah..." Mabel said as she rifled through her bag, "Are you, like, the reverse tooth fairy? Do I owe you money now?"
Bill laughed. "Nah, these are on the house, kid!"
Dipper cleared his throat, finally finding his voice. "Uh... Great Uncle Bill? Can I ask you a few things?"
Bill shrugged. "Sure, Dip, whatcha got?"
Ford gave his nephew a knowing smile, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Actually, Dipper, I probably have most of the answers you're looking for written down already. I interviewed him extensively once he got here. Where did I put that old journal...?"
Damien Hirst handbag for Prada
YALL I-
Pairings: Oliver Quick X !fem reader
Summary: Oliver is invited to Saltburn by your twin brother Felix and after the first dinner things get a little heated.
CW: SFW!! kissing, bad language, mention of sexual content (not much)
WC: 2.1k
warning: i am dyslexic so don’t expect all words to be spelled correctly, also i don’t autocapitalise my words
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
being a Catton had many advantages, a never ending list of friends, money, a level of smartness that seemed to be genetic, and sex. lots of sex. my brother, Felix, knows this too well. Felix Catton, my twin brother, is, for a use of better words, a whore. a new girl on his arm every single night. although recently there has been less women and more of a certain man. a very handsome man. Oliver Quick is his name, i had been told by my friend, and one of Felix’s little fuck buddy’s, Veronica. Oliver Quick is a beautiful man, not the type that Felix would usually hang out with. Oliver Quick is a nerd, a man who always has his head in a textbook, a man with glasses, a man who hangs out with Michael Gavey for fucks sake. he is beautiful, a loony, but beautiful nonetheless. when Felix had told me Oliver would accompany us back to Saltburn for the summer with our cousin Farleigh Start, i had almost choked on the very air i was breathing. this information became known to me three months after i had first seen Felix and Oliver together in the pub with Felix’s group of dimwit friends. poor Oliver is going to be eaten alive, Saltburn is going to eat him alive.
two months later.
Saltburn never ceases to amaze me, it’s the home i’ve lived in all my life and yet every time i’m here it feels like the first time. i’m sitting by the pond when Felix comes behind me and scares me. i scream and hit him in the chest when he crouches to my level.
‘Ollie is looking around. when he gets here be nice,’ he warns me with a straight face.
‘i’m always nice. it’s mum you have to worry about,’ i roll my eyes, ‘let’s not forget Venetia too, she’s been anticipating his arrival after your little description of the poor boy.’
Felix sits beside me, ‘i’ve told Venetia, no more Eddie situations. i do not want to lose another friend,’ he sighs.
‘if you do, you’ve still got me,’ i nudge his side with my shoulder, ‘you know, twin sister, built in best friend.’
he chuckles and puts an arm around my shoulders. the both of us stare at the pond until we hear a voice.
‘Felix? Felix, where are you?’ Oliver.
‘over here mate,’ Felix shouts over his shoulder, Oliver soon appears from the side of the house and he sits with Felix and i.
‘this house is,’ there is a pause, ‘beautiful’ Oliver lets out a sigh.
my lip quirks up, ‘Felix given you the tour yet?’
‘yeah. when i first got here,’ his Scouse accent is strong, a stark contrast to Felix and i’s.
‘you meet Venetia or mum and dad yet?’ i question.
Felix flicks my ear, a scowl on his face, ‘leave him alone. enough of the questions.’
i roll my eyes and shut my mouth.
‘no i haven’t. Felix told me to watch out for Venetia,’ Oliver speaks up after a moment of silence, ‘said she has been parading herself round all morning in hopes of finding me, whatever that means.’
‘it means she wants to fuck you, Ollie,’ Felix grits out harshly.
i hit him in his side and he lets out a huff, moving his arm from around my shoulder and to where i hit him. Oliver laughs at the two of us and the sound makes me smile a little myself.
‘Sir Felix, Madam y/n,’ Duncan speaks up from behind the three of us, making Oliver jolt, ‘your mother has requested that the three of you get ready for dinner.’
‘no problem Duncan we will go now,’ Felix waves off our butler and stands.
he lifts a hand in my direction and i grab it for him to pull me up. he does so and the same is done for Oliver. we all part ways once back in the house and go to our respective rooms. i decide on a blue dress for dinner, an elegant dress. it hugs my curves and finishes just above my knee, its off the shoulder and used to be my mothers. she had given it to me as a birthday present. she knew id always dreamed of owning a dress like this. i look at myself in the body length mirror and spray a little perfume on my neck. a knock has me looking from my reflection to the oak door of my bedroom. i make my way over and open up to see Oliver on the other side, looking sheepish.
‘uh, Felix left me in my room to get changed and he, uh, left. i don’t know where the dining room is,’ he averts his gaze to the floor.
‘it’s okay, i get lost sometimes and i’ve lived here my whole life. i’ll take you to the dining room,’ i smile and link my arm with his, closing my bedroom door behind me.
we are in the dining room a moment later, everyone already there. including mums friend Pamela. Oliver and i take a seat and i give a smile to my mother. she returns it and begins to speak.
‘welcome to Saltburn Oliver, we hope everything is to your liking. my name is Elspeth, this is my friend Pamela,’ she points a hand in her direction, ‘that is my husband Sir James,’ and dads, ‘and this is Venetia,’ she finally points toward my younger sister, ‘i assume you have been acquainted with y/n and Farleigh.’
‘yes Mrs Catton, Farleigh and i had a few classes together, and y/n and i have briefly met,’ he looks at me and interlinks our fingers under the table, ‘it is lovely to meet everyone else,’ he smiles.
‘oh please, do call me Elspeth,’ mum states, ‘Felix has told us so much about you, how are your parents?’
the conversation picks up with Oliver being the centre of it. we all eat, Oliver’s finger still entwined with my own under the table. the night finishes when mum has successfully fried all the information out of Oliver about his personal life. parents, siblings, education, friends, favourite colour, heck she knows it all. we are all excused from the table when it has been cleared and Oliver and i’s fingers finally break apart.
‘can i talk to you for a moment,’ i feel a hand on my own as i’m leaving the dining room, i turn and see Oliver, ‘alone.’
‘sure, yeah. is everything okay?’ i question as we make our way to my room.
he says nothing, he just continues to walk with me, his hand in my own. we make it to my room moments later and i let him inside, our hands detach.
‘you’re very beautiful y/n,’ Oliver says as i close my bedroom door.
a blush spreads across my cheeks, ‘thank you Oliver.’
he comes closer to me and my breath catches in my throat. i have had a little tiny crush on Oliver ever since my brother first started hanging out with him 5 months ago. Oliver is handsome, brown hair and big blue eyes that are the perfect colour as to not look too bright or too dull. his hand comes up to stroke my cheek and i lean into it.
he hums, ‘Felix doesn’t shut up about you, you know that?’ he tilts my head so i am looking up into his eyes.
i don’t get the chance to open my mouth before he is speaking again, ‘you’re an easy person to like y/n, i know everything about you because of Felix,’ his thumb rests on my bottom lip, ‘i know your favourite colour is pink, i know you didn’t talk til you were 4 years old, i know you have never let anyone touch you the way i’m touching you now,’ his voice is suddenly deeper.
my lips part and a breath of air is let out. my cheeks becoming even more hot the longer Oliver goes on.
‘you’re beautiful y/n, i mean that. you’re drop dead gorgeous, such a pretty face,’ his thumb tips back so it is half way in my mouth, my tongue is laid flat against the bottom of my mouth, cautious of not touching the pad of Oliver’s thumb.
Oliver’s eyes trail down my face, stopping at my mouth, ‘do you think Felix would understand if i were to kiss you?’ he questions, his accent getting thicker with each word.
his thumb moves from my mouth and there is an icy hot sensation left where he once had it, my lips still agape.
‘i don’t think he would,’ i finally speak up, my voice scratchy, ‘not if he doesn’t find out.’
Oliver’s lips quirk up into a smirk, ‘sneaky y/n, what if i were to fuck you?’ the breath i was taking in gets caught in my throat and i let out a strangled sound, ‘would you still keep that from him?’
i nod. all sensible thoughts seem faraway at this moment and i need Oliver.
he leans close, so that his lips are mere millimetres away from my own, ‘you’re beautiful y/n, the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen,’ his arms snake around my waist, hands stopping just above my ass.
i lean up to connect our lips, my head is spinning, warmness pooling in the bottom of my stomach. i don’t realise how bad i have needed Oliver until he is pulling away from me. my lips are, no doubt, a mess. Oliver has my pink lipgloss all over his lips, i smile and reach my hand up to cup his jaw as he had done to me a moment earlier. my thumb reaches out to his lip and wipes away the lipgloss. he pulls me closer to him so i can practically feel every muscle in his chest and stomach.
‘kiss me again Oliver,’ my hands now lay flat on his chest.
he obliged and pulls me into him once more. the urgency of this kiss is more than the first, Oliver’s hand slips down from my back to the curve of my ass. he gives it a squeeze and i let out a little noise into the kiss. we continue kissing for what feels like forever til a knock comes from my bedroom door. i pull away from Oliver quickly and shoo him into my wardrobe. i know that knock, it’s Felix.
‘y/n? you in there?’ Felix questions from the other side of the door.
‘yeah hang on i’m changing,’ i grab the first piece of clothing i see, one of Felix’s shirts, and put it on after quickly slipping my dress off. i look at myself in the mirror and wipe the remains of my lipgloss off from around my mouth and open the door. Felix doesn’t wait before barging into my room.
‘have you seen Ollie? he hasn’t come back to his room yet,’ Felix is worried, that much is evident in his tone.
‘no i haven’t. maybe he’s talking to mum or in the garden or something,’ i lie straight through my teeth.
Felix quirks a brow, i hate lying to Felix but it has to be done. he would hate Oliver if he found out what he was doing to his baby sister a moment ago.
‘i’ll go check in the garden. will you go ask mum please?’
‘yeah, i will,’ i reply.
‘thank you y/n’ he gives me a kiss on the cheek and leaves my room.
i let out a sigh and make my way to my wardrobe. i open it and Oliver comes out quickly, ‘i hate small spaces,’ he shudders.
‘i’m sorry Oliver. i didn’t know,’ i feel bad.
‘don’t worry about it. it’s fine,’ he smiles, i instantly feel better.
‘you need to go to your room. Felix is looking for you,’ Oliver’s eyes widen, ‘i told him i’ll check with mum to see if you’re with her so I’ll take you back to your room, okay?’
‘perfect,’ he confirms.
before i can move he gives me a quick kiss and a slap on the ass.
‘behave,’ i tell him as we walk out of my room to which he replies with a chuckle.
we are in Oliver’s room in 5 minutes, all his belongings had been unpacked by the maids during dinner.
‘so how are you liking Saltburn?’ i question Oliver, sitting on his bed.
‘it’s amazing. nothing like home. it’s bigger for starters,’ he lets out a laugh, ‘and it is so beautiful. truly incredible,’ he looks out of the window.
i lay back in his bed and let out a sigh, ‘i’m glad you’re here Oliver.’
‘me too.’
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
AN: would like to thank my best friend @lovandr for being as Saltburn obsessed as i am and making me feel like whatever i make, whether that be a story or an edit, is good enough.
I...I just wanna wake up next to the f/o and cuddle them as the sun slowly rises. As we give each other sleepy kisses and tell each other about our dreams. Is that too much to ask for?
Umm 🥵
merry christmas to all 🤤🤤🤤
@hazzadessine on twitter pls go look