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Mspec - Blog Posts
Reblog if your blog is a safe space for any mspec mono peoples!!
@genderstarbucks thanks for letting me use the image!! Credit goes to him!!
Multi-oriented: Someone who has multiple orientations, such as mspec lesbians, mspec gays, and mspec straights, or people who are a combination of mspec orientations such as bi/pan bi/omni omni/pan etc. or anyone who just feels they have multiple orientations.
The flag represents the wide range of orientations one can be, with the gray and white stripes in the middle representing us all living together in peace and mutual respect.
Every time there's something about "straight passing" couples being not experiencing homophobia then bi people get pushed further away from their rightful community. Also this idea that trans men can perfectly pass and gain all privelages of a cis man.
People really need to take a good look at how much emphasis they place on the supposed "privelages" that someone who appears more cis and straight or male has over other LGBT people.
"Passing" in any way is entirely conditional and can be taken away the instant something slips or a stranger scrutinizes you enough. Walking on eggshells and hoping you aren't found out and risk facing violence is not this great privelage you may think it is.
Remember the trans panic defense? That realizing a sexual partner is trans is used as a defense to murder them? So they "passed" until they didn't, and it actually led to them being killed. Passing did not protect them.
Also there's this idea that any couple that appears to be man + woman will never get clocked as queer. That they can never be queer. That bisexuals don't have the same level of queerness as a lesbian woman or a gay man. But they do. They can be flamboyant, butch, femme, anything that any other queer person can be.
it is so disappointing the amount of queer people, especially those i know irl, who claim they are the biggest advocate for other queer folks in the community and yet "agree to disagree" with me when i talk about my experience as an mspec lesboy. do you know how rich the history is of trans men and multigender folks in the lesbian community? do not create an entirely new binary in a space where there was not supposed to be one. queer spaces have already collectively agreed enough that gender is extremely flexible and its easy to blur the lines of. can we please do the same with sexuality? they interconnect and intertwine so constantly, there are infinite experiences one may have in any community or any label they feel best fits them. fuck you if you dont let people be who they are. "it's transphobic and lesbianphobic!" no, it isn't. what's really transphobic and lesbianphobic is the shit that you just pulled out of your ass about some "non men loving non men". anyway happy masc lesbian week fuck yeah we love you lesboys ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜
i'm regularly astounded by the cognitive dissonance some of yall have to accept that gender is a social construct with infinite possibilities with the capacity to be deeply personal and individual but still think there's a list of like 4 acceptable sexual orientations and if you go outside of that list or mix entries on that list or relate to them in a non-traditional way not only are you Breaking The Rules you're personally directly harming people who follow them
people need to realize that dissolving the lines between gender also means dissolving the lines between sexuality. you cannot say gender is fake and then say sexuality is strict and rigid.
there are multigender/genderfluid people who are lesbians and gay men at the same time. there are mspec lesbians/gays/straights who have a complex relationship with gender and their sexuality. there are gay men who are women and lesbians who are men because male isn't the opposite of female.
"conflicting" labels are a part of many people's queer experience, because the human experience isnt simple enough to be put into neat perfect categories. if you truly support trans/genderqueer people, you need to accept the fact that gender and sexuality is complex and there will be people whose identities you don't understand
I learned a lot today from Obviously Queer’s video essay “FEMME: Lesbian History, Identity, Politics and Invisibility” and femmebis’ “The “Lesbian-Only Term” Myth: A Comprehensive Historical Essay on ‘Butch’ and ‘Femme’ ”.
The queer community really normalized the words for fluidity and multigenderism but not the experiences at all.
I'm not the first to make this type of post, but I'm gonna go beyond just what the original said (and I'll edit this to include a link when I find the original again on my dash because it usually shows up once a week): we've normalize words like boygirl but most people haven't normalized actually being a boy and a girl, or a man and a woman, at the same time, and for fluidity they don't normalize actually being a boy or man and being a girl or woman at different times. Instead "boygirl" is just used like a label for androgyny or worse neutrality (nothing wrong with being neutral but being a boy and a girl is NOT that). We normalize the words bigender and genderfluid but never recognize them as actually having multiple genders. Bigender people are treated like half and half, and together androgynous or neutral instead of both of their genders at once, and genderfluid people are just seen like nonbinary people who use different pronouns and different times. We normalize the words but we don't normalize being sapphic and achillean, veldian and lesbian, a lesbian man or a veldian woman, straight and lesbian or straight and veldian. The things that are experienced by multigender people. We normalize the words but we don't allow bigender people to identify with anything other than "bigender" and we don't allow genderfluid people to identify with anything other than "genderfluid." If they want to label their orientations their options are mspec, trixic, toric, and enbian, and anything else is wrong. They're never allowed to say they're straight, and if they are allowed to be veldian/achillean or lesbian/sapphic (and they only get to pick one), they must degender themselves and pretend they don't experience womanhood or manhood.
Similarly, we normalize the word abrosexual but many don't allow abrosexuals to identify as anything but abro. They're not allowed to identify as any of the orientations they experience, even with some regularity. They might be allowed an mspec term - but they're never allowed to say they're veldians, or lesbians, and god forbid they identify as both. Even when they're experiencing being one of those things, it's not "allowed" for them to use the terms because the community deemed fluidity as not *really* the things they experienced because it's not permanent.
If we are gonna normalize the labels of multigender, genderfluid, and abrosexual can we actually get it in our heads that some people are multiple full genders at once, and if they're a man, a woman, and nonbinary, they are AS MUCH of a man as any monogender man, AS MUCH of a woman as any monogender woman, and JUST AS NONBINARY as any monogender enby? Can we get it though our heads that some people experience multiple full genders at different times, and they are AS MUCH of a man as any statically gendered man when they experience manhood, AS MUCH of a woman as any statically gendered woman when they experience womanhood, and JUST AS NONBINARY as any statically gendered enby when they experience enbanhood? Can we get it through our heads that some people experience multiple orientations at different times, and they are AS MUCH of a lesbian when they experience lesbianism, AS MUCH of a veldian when they experience veldianism, JUST AS STRAIGHT as any other straight person when they feel themselves straight, and JUST AS MSPEC when they experience attraction to multiple genders?
(there's also people who experience multiple orientations at once, statically, but we haven't even been normalized yet so. Yeah.)
Lesboy Lore Explained!!
People worry too much about how others identify. I promise it will NOT kill you if someone identifies as a lesboy. If you genuinely feel invalidated by them then thats something you should work on. Now im not saying you cant have your own opinion, but let’s be open minded here and lets respect them rather than hating on them. 🤷
From a proud lesboy to you, you are all valid! 💜🩷🧡🤍💜💙
The way some people don't even TRY to think about sexualities or genders more deeper then just "cis and trans people" is insane like they'll only think about binary trans women and men and binary women and men but like y'know what type of binary I mean, right? Everyone completely forgets multigender people exist or abrosexual/fluid sexuality, nonbinary people in general and it pisses me off! Some people will even act like they support multigender people and nonbinary people, maybe also abrosexual people and try to be "inclusive" but when there's a complex identity, they think like a caveman!
"women are non men and never men! And men? Same thing! Nonbinary people? Don't exist right now cause I'm caveman brain right now, and cis? Nope no one else can be cis except 100% binary cishet people and multigender? What's that?? And identifying with your gender at birth? Only cis people do that! And cis people can't EVER be trans!" LIKE OMG SHUT UP!
like I swear someone on fuckin TikTok or Pinterest could hear something like...I don't know a flag for people who identify with their gender at birth but are also trans and immediately forget nonbinary people and multigender people exist!!
"wait but how can that work ?" instead of asking how their queer identity works, and how can it be valid, maybe ask them their experiences. ask how it feels to themself being a mspec mono, or lesboy, or turigirl, or whatever. instead of getting angry at queer identities which dont fit your standard, just perhaps let it go and ask them as a person what their identity means to them. stop policing identities and open up your mind a little.