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Nothing To Say - Blog Posts
I feel so weird for sharing this one but i felt that I don't want to keep it
Easily I rot there like an empty shell holding onto memories true or false...fantasy or reality.
It doesn't matter
I will keep bringing them back with all I've got I'm not sure if it's good because I used to call them traps... traps I know so well. It's fake, but I believe in it like it's some sort of savior for me. But when its effect doesn't work anymore and it's all over, it feels like a knife in your heart, cutting you and leaving a bunch of scars that need to be healed.
I don't have any magical power to heal them instantly. I just draw it in my place again, trying to feel something...a holy circle rot in my place for days feeling nothing but the taste of lose. Then I just cut it all...feeling fooled by my own head like a dummy. Then again, thinking about the fool I am when I opened up to him. I trusted him, gave him all of my feelings, spitting it all out. I told him to keep the pity for himself he needs it, not me. I opened up to him only because I thought he was good enough to find a solution.
But all I heard was that I needed therapy. Don't you know that you were my therapy? Not anymore. You disappeared like all of them, and I hope I just disappear and go somewhere I belong. I always told you I am not human because I never felt like one. I can't get along with them including you especially you.
You're the bitchiness covered with sweetness. Just by staring at you I feel disgusted. I was there for you whenever a bitch broke your heart, walking dead, insecure like an ugly kid on you. But when it's my turn to be the sad ugly kid you throw it away and it just makes me question myself where are you now?