Pynch - Blog Posts

Inktober day 1: Ley Lines

I really hope I can actually do all the days of inktober this year, though if last year is any indication I probably won’t be able to.

absolutely no other fictional character will EVER top ronan lynch in yearning. in devotion. "a combination that focused most of the objects of Ronan's worship into one downtown block" oh. "his feelings for Adam were like an oil spill" oh!!! "it was a choice between death and hurting adam, and that wasn't much of a choice at all" OH. he was on a whole other level

Dedicated to my favorite bitchy Irish farmer, Ronan Lynch 💙💙💙

These sketches just kinda happened while I listened to “the Raven king” by Maggie Stievater jet again

‘The magician and Dreamer” and “Dead but alive and alive but dead”

The first shows Adam and Ronan, the second Gansey and Noah

I’m still kind of searching for my art style so this is what that looks like

Here is a probably finished but i think i wanted to do more with it pynch fic i wrote maybe a few months ago.  i do a lot of these things and just leave them to take up space on my laptop because i think my writing is #bad most of the time but i actually kinda like this. It’s about 4.8k in words and has mild(?) adult content. 

So he left Monmouth, calling to Gansey that he was going for a drive. Where to? He didn’t give specifics but he knew he was heading to St. Agnes to see his other miserable friend.

Adam’s anger, Ronan could tolerate in a way. Gansey’s anger was too under control most of the time, and while Ronan could appreciate Gansey for every part of him, Adam’s anger was like waiting for an explosion to happen. Sometimes it didn’t but you could see the way the spark made it’s way down the fuse of the dynamite. How Adam’s anger would build underneath the surface, and sometimes, he didn’t blow, sometimes he snubbed it before it got too big. And other times… boom.  It thrilled Ronan just as much as every other emotion Adam displayed.

Upon his arrival at St. Agnes, Ronan didn’t even ask Adam if he wanted to come with, he sort of just walked in, commanded in a way that didn’t leave Adam room to refuse, not that he wanted to anyway.

Ronan had decided that they should go out for a drive and be miserable in each other’s company. They drove through the downtown core of Henrietta and out to the more uninhabited areas, it was supposed to be an adventure but neither of them was up for pretending to be as excited about that as Gansey would be. So, they opted for driving in circles, down little side roads off the main ones. They didn’t talk much either, their relationship had never been one filled with dialogue, unless it was completely necessary. The only words shared were little jabs, Ronan snidely commenting on the way Adam would sigh in awe and envy at some of the bigger homes they’d pass by and Adam retorting how ever he could. By that point in the ride, Ronan had made fun of Adam about 6 times and Adam in turn called Ronan the most colourful words he could imagine – Ronan laughing as Adam strung curse words together that didn’t even sound like they should have been together at all but he appreciated the effort as the master of all compound insults. And just as Ronan was going to say just that, inhaling roughly between his laughing fits, Adam was suddenly over come with this need to compliment his friend. There was something in that smile that tugged at Adam’s heart; he recognized the feeling from previous incidents not much like this, not just a smile. It was when Ronan would bump into something and swear loudly enough for everyone in the 30-mile radius to hear, when Ronan was speaking Latin, his mouth working around the familiar words in a way that was almost indecent. When Ronan would be tired, his entire body wearing that exhaustion but his mind still wouldn’t let him rest, the expression he displayed on his face read as irritable infant and forty year old workaholic all at once; those all tugged at his heart the very same way.  So then, without any warning, the words flew from his mouth, unstoppable. He didn’t want Ronan to find out this way but that’s the way it was. There was a short moment of almost silence, then Ronan let out a loud guffaw laced with disbelief and mild disgust, what ever else was wrapped around the loud noise was unidentifiable even to Ronan himself.  It’s not like he believed he was hard to look at, on days when it was bearable, when he wasn’t afraid to see his father’s most sharp features staring back at him, he would look in the mirror and feel a sort of pride from what would stare back at him. He would quicker say handsome, or cool, he would even accept scary or ferocious, but beautiful? Adam Parrish was calling him beautiful?

“Are you seeing weird shit from Cabeswater again Parrish?” Adam squinted, not really wanting to dignify the question with a response. It was already out there, and while Adam Parrish wasn’t against lying to cover up his feelings, he felt that the moment was too pure to be tainted by something like his pride. In those few moments of silence, Adam decided he wasn’t going to take it back.

“No, I’m talking about you Lynch.”

Then there was a short silence again, the words pressing at Ronan in ways he wasn’t sure he wanted to confront at that very moment.

“Stop fucking around Parrish.” His tone was still dripping in disbelief and Adam just shrugged, biting at a hangnail and staring out the window of the BMW, barely paying attention to the scenery they sped by. “Okay, but m’not fucking around or anything” He didn’t even look at Ronan as he said this with a sort of finality in his voice, the promise of bringing it up later because right now he didn’t really want to fight about this, and Adam knew it would definitely turn into that.

---

The second time happened a couple weeks later. The first time was tucked away neatly at the back of their heads, in a folder labeled in bold black letters ‘to discuss’ but neither of them could bring it up. They weren’t purposely skirting around it, it just never seemed appropriate to discuss in the middle of Latin class, or while discussing ley lines and Glendower. The closest they ever got to even mentioning it was a time when both Ronan and Adam caught Gansey flattening a piece of Blue’s hair the same way Noah would, though his touch lingered for seconds longer. That those few seconds made it all too intimate, in those few seconds, Blue leaned into the touch, perhaps unconsciously but the effect it had on Gansey was all there. He let his hand slide down and his face contorted into what Adam thought he felt when he looked at Ronan. That feeling in his gut had an expression, and that expression looked an awful lot like extreme fondness, beyond friendship, beyond boundaries that none of them were quite ready to pass. With that in mind Adam glanced over to Ronan who had already been looking at him and in that moment, he knew that Ronan saw it too. They didn’t address it; they didn’t address their feelings or the ones that were clearly being suppressed by their friends in front of them.  They left it alone and decided to let it sit some more. The moment wasn’t quite appropriate.

In hindsight, Adam should have realized an appropriate moment would never come up anyway, since this time it spilled out of his mouth when Ronan was angry. Adam cursed his mouth, his brain, his heart; whatever part of him was responsible for the word vomit at a time where Ronan was most volatile.

Gansey was explaining the plan for their next Cabeswater trip, which wasn’t much of a find more clues towards Glendower plan and started sounding more like a picnic. Blue was the first to mention this, her tone amused,

“If you want to have a picnic, why don’t you just say so the normal way instead of making it sound like something else?”

“What do you mean Jane?” the innocence behind the question made it seem like Gansey really had no clue that what he was asking for really was a picnic. Blue rolled her eyes and sighed, though it was clear she wasn’t annoyed at all.

“Sounds like a ball, we can even play games too; like toss the dead person off the magical cliff and see if there’s anything at the bottom.” Ronan suggested, unenthused.

“We’re not throwing Noah off of a cliff.” Gansey responded in an authoritative tone at the same time Noah rejected the idea.

“You’re not throwing me off of a cliff.”

“But you’re dead? It’ll be fun! You can’t eat so you may as well go cliff diving.”

Adam was nodding off during the entire thing, he had just finished work and headed straight to Monmouth since Gansey had said it was important that he was there. Adam thought it was because the topic itself was important but the nature of the conversation showed that Gansey just thought it was important because Adam was also one of them. The same way Ronan, Noah and Blue were; talks of Cabeswater, even if just for a picnic trip, were meant for all of them to be included in.

Just as Gansey began to explain the lunch menu for their trip, Noah flickered out, appearing again after a second, his expression grim.

“What happened? Did you finally see the devil?” Ronan asked

“Declan’s here to see Gansey.” Ronan’s expression immediately soured and they all stood up, ushering themselves into Noah’s room before Declan made it to them.

From the other side of the door they could hear the sound of Declan’s steps, hard and loud, boasting confidence they all knew to be false.

They tuned out before Declan even greeted Gansey, retreating farther into Noah’s immaculately clean room. Ronan didn’t have to eavesdrop to know the entire situation was playing out like a parent teacher interview.

“I received word that Ronan hasn’t been attending class again” Declan would start in his official man of status voice.

“He will, I’ll get him to go don’t worry about it.” Gansey would reply, sounding much more like the one in charge.

“I expect you will, you made me a promise last time”

“And you don’t hesitate to remind me every time we meet, even when you know there’s nothing to worry about.”

The entire situation itself was what angered Ronan.  The fact that there was an entire conversation going on about him that he wasn’t included in, for very good reasons perhaps but reason didn’t make it feel any better.

Adam could see this anger brewing on his face, could see as Ronan’s muscles tensed under his skin, his adrenaline pumping just as it did any time Declan was present. Adam felt himself moving between Ronan and the door, he wasn’t sure why – if Ronan wanted to fight, Adam standing between the only thing between him being in the same room as Declan was not going to stop him.

Ronan immediately felt Adam’s intentions as he stepped into his line of sight and he growled.

“The fuck are you doing Parrish?” Adam shrugged, hands in pocket.

“Nothing in particular.” The answer wasn’t enough. Ronan approached Adam now, radiating hostility; he dropped his voice to something a bit louder than a whisper.

“If it’s nothing, get the fuck out of my way.” his eyes were bright in colour though dark in intention. And both of those deep blues were set on Adam, staring right into him as if will alone would make him move. The look itself was what made Adam stir, the look was similar to how he’d expect Ronan to look in other situations, both eyes set and unwavering, boring deeply into Adam as if trying to get him to unravel. And it was so unexpected, how this feeling came, how it bubbled in his gut and made him tilt his head in a sort of confusion. That action itself from Adam took Ronan off guard.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” he asked, the same voice with a hint of taunting, maybe a drip of genuine curiosity.

“You are so beautiful.”

Right from his gut to his throat, Adam said it again, not even meaning to – he didn’t even realize the power Ronan had over him before this moment and wow he was fucked.

Ronan’s expression went from hostility to confusion to realization. His breath caught in his throat and he bit his lip, almost unsure of how to proceed. He looked back at Blue and Noah who had been talking amongst each other before but were now quiet, watching the scene in front of them unfurl like if they were watching a TV drama. Then he looked back at Adam, his stomach still twisting in anger and confusion and then he just left. There was no more fight in him so Adam didn’t stop him.

Ronan didn’t even snap as both Declan and Gansey turned to look at him as he stormed out of Noah’s room and into his own.  Upon entering his room Chainsaw could feel his discomfort, she began to screech in her cage and Ronan took no time in letting her out. She cawed in thanks before flapping around Ronan’s head as he made his way to his bed. He desperately needed to lie down; he needed to think because he hadn’t truly thought about it before. He hadn’t thought too much about Adam calling him beautiful or what it meant. He hadn’t thought about it perhaps being a fleeting moment or a thing that Adam thought constantly.  

He laid on his back, watching Chainsaw circle above him, round and round like the thoughts in his head.  The problem wasn’t that Adam thought he was beautiful, that wasn’t a problem at all. The problem as that he had thought the same about Adam for so long and he shoved it right to the back of his head with everything else he wanted to keep hidden. But with all the secrets he was supposed to be keeping flowing front wards and letting themselves be known, Ronan should have known that this one was going to get dragged along as well.

---

Ronan wasn’t sure if he was allowed to count the third time, because it was in a dream. Whispered between breaths against his skin. He woke up and he was unable to move. Paralyzed from the dream and the pleasure of it, the lingering touch of Adam’s calloused fingers still tracing over his skin.

“Fuck,” he muttered, voice heavy with sleep. He hadn’t dreamt about Adam that way in months, he thought that if he suppressed the feeling of wanting him so much, the dreams wouldn’t come at all. “Fuuuuck.” He groaned again, turning onto his stomach and burying his face in his pillow. He though about how Adam held him close, filthy words spilling from his lips as he mouthed down his jaw. How Adam’s fingers ran over the raised ridges of his tattoo, than lower, down his back, lower.

“ah, fuck.” He hissed the expletive again as he reached his hands into his boxers, wrapping around himself, grinding into his tight fist.

---

Adam wasn’t sure if he was allowed to count the third time. The three of them, four if you count Noah flickering in and out of existence were seated on the ground of Monmouth, practicing phrases in Latin while they waited for Blue to arrive. Their system involved cue cards Gansey had made, a phrase in English as they knew it on one side, the latin translation on the other. They took turns drawing cards and saying simple phrases.  Laughing at Gansey who had made them but stumbled over some of the simplest phrases, “sorry it doesn’t come to me as easily as you two marvellous geniuses.”  Ronan had just drew the card for “I think, therefore I am” and his Adam couldn’t even explain how lovely the words ‘cogito ergo sum’ sounded flowing from those lips. Ronan smiled, not a full one but a smile nonetheless, before passing the stack to Adam who picked a card from the middle handing it to Gansey who read it off for him.

“Ah, this one is easy. ‘You’re beautiful.’” Why was it that any time Adam had handled a deck of cards they were always trying to tell him something these days? He tried not to be too obvious about this phrase and how it’s been haunting him as of late. How he looked it up just the other night because there’s nothing more romantic that professing your love to someone in a dead language. He let out a shallow sigh, translating the phrase.

“Tu pulcher es” Ronan was looking right into his eyes as he said this, he only knew this because he was looking right at Ronan. Then there was that silence, the inevitable silence that always came after Adam slipped up, the one that made the whole world seem like it was only Adam and Ronan. But this time, it wasn’t at all, and Gansey tried to make it known, clearing his throat. The sound was deliberately soft.

“You’re right I guess… I wrote it down as if it were being said to B-, a girl… but you’re not wrong.” Gansey internally winced at his near slip up but didn’t let it bother him too much. By the scene in front of him he could tell that his friends could care less if he said Blue at that moment. Ronan was still staring at Adam in a way that seemed more like he was staring into him. Trying to figure out why he does what he does, why he says the things he says. He was trying to pick Adam apart with that stare. Adam just looked as if he were waiting for Ronan to do something. What he wanted Ronan to do, Gansey could only make an educated guess from the way Adam’s eyes seemed to dart from Ronan’s own, then catch on his lips before sliding back up.

The two had clearly forgotten that Gansey was still in the room.

Just as he was about to speak up again, Blue came in through the door, with Noah leading her towards them. In that moment Ronan and Adam straightened themselves out, the tension in the room was still there though not as stifling as it had been only seconds before.

“Good evening guys,” Blue greeted them as she dropped to join them on the floor, scooting herself just a little closer to Gansey, so her arm could brush against his crossed leg.

“Hi Blue,” the three of them responded in unison.  Blue didn’t bother asking what was wrong, she could pick out pieces by the weird tension in the room that Noah hadn’t held back on telling her about the moment she arrived. “The moment you go up there you’d be lucky if Ronan and Adam aren’t eye fucking as they have been for the entirety of the evening.” She looked between the three of them, then shared a look with Noah.

“I guess I am lucky.”

---

“I think we need to talk,” That was Adam, of course – he slid into Ronan’s room closing the door behind him and leaning against it as if waiting for an invitation to go further. Ronan’s room was supposed to be no man’s land anyway and no matter how many times Adam had ended up in his room, he still felt unwelcome every time.

Ronan had been laying on his bed prior to Adam’s entrance but now he was sitting up, eyes bleary as if he had just been sleeping.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Ronan shook his head,

“Nah, I woke up about ten minutes ago…” Adam nodded in understanding, and then he began shuffling his feet, really unsure of how to proceed.  He found himself opening and closing his mouth several times, hoping the right words would form but there was nothing. Just this pressing feeling that this couldn’t be avoided anymore, this conversation wasn’t something that was going to come about naturally. This conversation was something he had to force into existence because Ronan Lynch sure as hell would not. He opened his mouth yet again, shuffling, shuffling, rubbing his sweaty hands on his pants, and Ronan groaned.

“you look like a god-damned fish over there, stop shuffling in front of my door and get over here.” Well, that was a start.

As Adam made his way to the bed, Ronan scooted back towards his headboard, making space for Adam in front of him. Ronan admittedly wasn’t ready for this, to talk about this, to really address what ever this was but he remembered the sort of finality in Adam’s words when he said he wasn’t fucking around the first time and how he so clearly mirrored the same tone when he came through the door. They were going to do this. He closed his eyes, exhaling slowly as he felt the mattress dip from the weight of Adam sitting down and when he opened his eyes again, Adam was right there. Right in front of him, wearing this weary expression. It was clear that neither of them really knew how to start this conversation; Adam on one side was worrying at his lips, looking at his hands, his mouth kept forming over words with no sounds, While Ronan on the other side simply stared. He didn’t try for words like Adam, he knew he wouldn’t be able to think of an appropriate way to start so he just let Adam take his time. He really liked looking at Adam’s face, his prominent cheekbones, his brown eyes, not as stormy as his own but they were definitely a marvel.  And his hair, Ronan, didn’t miss his own much but when he saw Adam’s he considered growing it out for a moment before thinking, no because he prefers to touch Adam’s hair, to feel the strands between his fingers as he rakes his hand across Adam’s skull. He could even do that right now if he wanted to. Ronan closed his eyes again, inhaling slowly, this guy… has me fucked up. And when he opened his eyes on exhale for the second time, Adam was looking at him with new resolve. It seemed like he figured out what to say, that happened sooner than Ronan expected.

“So…” Adam started, now he was scooting a bit closer to Ronan, as if he was too far from him to have this conversation.

“So, I think you’re beautiful.”

“God, that’s new information Parrish.”

“Don’t be an ass hat, I’m not finished,” Adam looked slightly annoyed but more or less amused with Ronan’s inappropriately placed sarcasm. The moment wasn’t allowed to be too touching as long as Ronan could speak.

“I think you’re beautiful, and I also think that you think I’m beautiful as well… correct me if I’m wrong Lynch,” and then he was closer, close enough to rest a hand between the space left on the bed between Ronan’s open legs.

“What if I said you’re wrong?” Adam moved closer, now and Ronan was doing nothing to reject him, to make him move away, instead he was letting his legs fall open wider, accommodating Adam and god, now he could really touch him without having to reach too far.

“Well Lynch, we both know that you pride yourself on not being a liar,” smooth so smooth. Adam’s face was now only inches from his own when he breathed out his response and Ronan was anticipating the next move, he could feel how much Adam wanted this and it was almost as much as he wanted it himself.  Only then did Ronan reach out to touch Adam, brushing his fingers jst behind Adam’s ear, then snaking his one hand to play with the hair just on Adam’s nape.  it was a strangely gentle gesture coming from him, but it was more than just a touch. In a way it was confirmation, making it clear to Adam that yes, he most definitely wanted this too.

“You’re right, and I’m not going to fuck that up today.” And just like that, their lips finally met.

Kissing Ronan was unlike anything Adam could have ever imagined. The heady pressure of Ronan’s lips against his, the natural push and pull. How he’d apply more pressure and Ronan would press right back, up for the challenge before breaking apart. Now both of Ronan’s arms were winded around Adam’s neck, making it hard for him to move, not that he wanted to. He wanted to keep kissing Ronan so much it was the only thing he could properly think about. So he fell back into it, lips parted this time because he was feeling brave, because opened mouthed kisses with tongue were all he could think about when it came to Ronan, that among other things. The first kiss was to test the waters, the second; was a full dive.

Ronan appreciated the first kiss for what it was, slow and testy, but the second one was more of what he wanted. What he needed, definitely needed more of. The only thought that made it through his head as Adam’s tongue pushed passed the seam of his lips was fuck yes more, because Adam Parrish was an amazing kisser. Adam Parrish knew exactly what he was doing to the point where Ronan was almost suspicious of Adam’s dating history.  Ronan let his tongue wind with Adam’s briefly, unsure if he was doing it right, or if Adam would even like it, but his worry didn’t last long when Adam made a small whining noise, whispering a small again, into Ronan’s mouth. Adam pushed harder after that, Ronan greedily accepting it all because he wanted to taste more of Adam, he wanted to feel more of Adam. Ronan let himself be kissed thoroughly by Adam. He let him run has hands up his arms and down his back; tracing the lifted ridges of his tattoo just as Adam had done in his dreams so many times before. Though without the haze of a dream, the feeling was so much more potent. He felt shivers rolls down his body as Adam’s fingers worked across his back slowly, tracing up and about halfway down his spine.

“Ronan, can I?’ He broke apart the kiss for only a second, enough time to ask permission for what? Ronan wasn’t sure but he knew he would let Adam do anything to him.

“Yes, what ever you want, yes” he hissed between kisses. He was completely in Adam’s lap at that point.  Ronan wasn’t exactly sure of how it happened but at some point, but he didn’t even care enough since he was so pleased with how well he fit in the gap between Adam’s crossed legs. There was no time to marvel at those little things when Adam was now uncrossing his legs and pushing Ronan back and down, slowly. Controlled. Adam bearing a good percentage of Ronan’s weight and Ronan thinking at the back of his head, fucking mechanic, just before it hit the pillow.  Then Adam was entirely on top of him, shifting just enough so their hips were pressed together and holy shit, Adam was hard. Though he said it was anything was okay, Ronan was suddenly very unsure if what was coming was okay.

Ronan was so beautiful just like this, pinned underneath Adam, skin flushed, breath coming from between his lips in harsh puffs of air. Adam kissed down his neck then right up to his ear, tugging the lobe between his teeth softly and revelling in the way Ronan hissed at the action.

“Is this okay?” Adam whispered, he wanted more but he knew he could be greedy.

“Just the kissing today, okay?”

“Okay,” Adam smiled his perfect straight toothed smile, nodding. It was okay, he didn’t need to do more than kissing. Adam couldn’t believe this; he couldn’t believe how much he liked Ronan Lynch.  He dipped back down into Ronan, kissing his lips softly for the final time before rolling off to Ronan’s side.

It took some minor adjusting so they could lay comfortably side-by-side; foreheads pressed together, eyes bright with a fondness beyond what they even thought they truly felt before that point.  Ronan felt as though every bone in his body were made out of jelly, and he let out a wistful sigh with a smile on his lips as he ran his fingers through Adam’s hair.  Adam smiled back, his heart still pounding; the smile on Ronan’s lips didn’t help it slow down any.

“Why are you smiling like that,” Adam said, it came out as a breathless chuckle.

Ronan looked like he was thinking about the words he’d say next for a few moment, obviously pretending to roll the words around his skull before laughing them out, his tone slightly imitating Adam’s usual one. “It’s just… You’re beautiful,”

And it was true. Though delivered as a joke, there was nothing more true than what Ronan had said. Adam shook his head, lightly smacking Ronan in his arm while muttering a “you asshole,” and pulled him closer. They fell asleep together just like that, curled up close together, smiles on their faces.

Imagine this: Ronan Lynch kisses with his eyes wide open because otherwise he is afraid he might be dreaming

It’s because they’re in his bed at Monmouth and he’s had this exact dream so many times. 

At the Barns it’s different. At St. Agnes it’s different. Hell, even naps in Cabeswater are different. Those are places he inhabits with wakefulness and awareness. The awareness that comes from being amplified by a place and feeling too big for your skin. 

But here he simply is. Here he is not a king or a god or a worshiper. Here he is a boy who dances with sleep, sometimes leading and sometimes following. Who knows the cracks on his ceiling like he knows the back roads of Henrietta. Who sometimes dreams of tangled sheets and tingling lips and the rush of blood to every point of contact. Who wakes up alone. 

Who just this evening had tangled sheets and tingling lips and the rush of blood to every point of contact and then passed into dreaming alone. Who woke up just now with sleep bleary eyes and a glow-in-the-dark clock (not a dream, a gag gift from Gansey) telling him that it’s just after 3:30 AM and Adam Parrish is still next to him. 

Here, amidst his haphazard collection of impossible things, an impossible boy. All those dreams and he had never once dared to hope…

But it has to be real, doesn’t it? That’s what waking up means, bringing yourself through to fruition, reborn every day with weight and want and need and. Being. Knowing. 

He knows. He thinks he knows. He traces his finger down the slope of Adam’s shoulder where the shine of pale skin in the light of the streetlamp bleeds into the shine of pale sheets. Dreams bleeding into reality. 

Hope is a form of dreaming, right?

Adam stirs and Ronan pulls his hand away. He doesn’t mean to wake him, would never mean to take him from sleep any more than he would mean to take him from anything else Adam finds important. 

Adam wakes anyway. He rolls onto his side so that he’s facing Ronan and looks at him with heavy lids. He yawns and stretches and settles again and reaches out to run his hand gently over Ronan’s head. The pleasant tug of his fingers against Ronan’s short short hairs is so satisfying. Adam’s hand comes to a rest against his cheek and Ronan tilts his head into it, body heavy with sleep but still drawn to Adam’s touch like Adam’s gravity and the earth’s gravity have equal weight. 

They don’t. The tug of Adam is so much stronger. 

“You’re awake,” Adam says, voice low. 

Ronan hums his reply.

“God,” Adam says. He takes a deep breath and then exhales, long and slow. “God, god.” And the word sounds different every time. 

God, the dark suits you.

God, I never knew there was touch like this.  

God, our bodies are a riot in the quiet night. 

Ronan agrees, but words are insufficient, so he kisses Adam instead. Because he wants to. Because he wants to prove that they’re real, that this moment is made of flesh and blood. 

Adam closes his eyes, already halfway back to sleep, but Ronan keeps his open and clings to this. 

Up close Adam’s freckles blur into one another. His eyelids twitch with the restless movement of his eyes beneath them. Ronan slides his hand around Adam’s lower back and pulls him closer. Adam’s eyelashes flutter, then still. They fan out large against the gentle slope of his cheek. 

He of impossible being. He of passionate boyhood. He of crackling magic straining against the frame of one of the people Ronan loves the most in the world. He, he, he. 

It was always going to be a he, Ronan knows now, but he feels lucky that it’s this he, that it’s him. That Adam wants him back. That he’s willing to tangle himself up in Ronan’s sheets and Ronan’s limbs. That he’ll give parts of himself to Ronan, parts he’d previously been holding so tightly.

So Ronan keeps his eyes open, watches for the threshold between asleep and awake, and makes sure to keep his promise to find Adam on either side of the divide. 

adam’s kisses are always reflect exactly what he feels. no jokes, no bullshit. when he kisses, he is trying to say something with it from the very moment he begins to lean in. to adam kisses are one of the many ways he can express what he’s feeling towards certain people. with blue, he was never able to say all of the things he felt, nor could he convey them through a kiss. sometimes he regrets it, other times he’s a bit glad he didn’t have the chance to let blue completely see into him that way. with ronan it was so much different. with ronan, adam is completely unable to hold back. he’s speaking a thousand words per second with each kiss and ronan, a master of all languages understands it all. 

ronan’s kisses are softer than anticipated. ronan is a boy that shines from miles away without even trying to, a true child of the moon in the fact that not all the beauty in him is due to the light of those surrounding him,  but they do illuminate him in ways he couldn’t achieve on his own. this is not a well known fact unless you are one of his close friends, so when adam and ronan kiss for the first time, adam isn’t completely surprised. he knows ronan more than ronan thinks he does, but he is still taken aback by the way ronan melted into him, easily accepting and taking all adam had to give. in ronan’s opinion there was no room for him to put up walls when it was between him and adam, adam and him. and though ronan did not have any secrets to share through kisses the way adam did, their kisses were still very much a conversation. adam would pour words into every kiss “i need you, i need this, we need each other” and ronan would press back, his arms around adam’s neck, his hips pressed into adam’s, and the way he’d bite down on adam’s lip, everything was an answer. every move was a thousand “yeses” spilling back into adam.

gansey giving blue a mint leaf to chew on any time he wants to kiss her. blue accepting it, a part of her realizes this is the way gansey kisses her. when blue runs her tongue across her teeth well after she has disposed of the mint leaf she feels a small thrill from the after taste. the dull taste of mint is what she imagines gansey’s tongue would taste like. she wonders if she’ll ever be able to kiss him as long as the taste lingers in her mouth. she counted 6 hours. will she ever be able to monopolize gansey’s time for an entire 6 hours with her lips pressed against his?

ronan chewing on the leather bands around his wrist when ever he wants to taste adam. adam doesn’t know, and ronan will not be the one to tell him. though with the way ronan looks at adam when he’s toying with a band between his teeth, he wouldn’t be surprised if adam hasn’t picked up on it already. he’ll continue doing it anyway, it’s his own guilty pleasure.

ronan and blue up in the middle of the night, staring at their respective ceilings, and thinking, “this is it, this is the closest i’ll ever get.”

Ok but what if Adam became like a Disney princess, like animals are oddly attracted to him. From pets just really liking him to flocks of birds following him around and that insistent with the bear, anyway the gang loves it. Noah has an army of bunnies, Gansey and Ronan are training some of the strays and blue is very fond of one of the cats and Adam is just exasperated by the whole thing. and Ronan starts calling Adam princess and he wants to hate it but loves it. I think about this too much

this is so gorgeous :’)