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Radio Silence - Blog Posts
Hello. I hope somebody is listening.
I've cried a lot as a child. Too much, perhaps, but as i can remember i was a very quiet and sad kid. But mostly at night, when no one could see me. When i was very small, i cried loud, so my parents wpuld hear me, and care for me. when i got older and my parents divorced, i stopped. I cried quietly, not wanting to get noticed, into my pillow or my plushie. The plushie is called Leo. I still have him, take that little lion everywhere with me. I remember how he catched my tears at night so my pillow wouldnt be wet. I remember how i cut his fur and my own hair, wanting to donate it to children that dont have any. Obviously, that didnt work and my parents just got angry at me for it. I cut my hair a few times as a child. Perhaps that was one of the early signs that i was trans. Either way, everytime i cry, i can taste my tears on my lips and feel them run down my cheeks. hear my quiet sobs, and suddenly im the 7-year old child without friends that was scared of its stepfather again. Suddenly im the child that needed therapy because its family situation traumatised it again. Suddenly im that child that just gets laughed at all the time and that no one wants to play with again. So i was a sad child. but im an even sadder teen. Im a transboy with a transphobic family. I get misgendered everywhere. At school, at home. My classmates make fun of me for it. they talk about me all the time. about how weird i am. not even my irl friends use my right name. when i told my dad, i prepared a PowerPoint. i couldn't even talk, had a full on panic attack so i just skipped through the presentation and let him read. He didnt let me get halfway through before he told me that there was no way he would support me in any way. I keep telling myself that in 3 years i can transition, but i am scared for the city. The goverment already monitors us all, we as queer people are barely legal right now, and it just gets worse ans worse. There are a lot of allies in the city, that try to throw the government over from the inside. but in the end, the government and the bad people are everywhere. We cant get rid of them. And I think it only gets worse. If i didn't manage to escape the city in 4 years, and if in 3 years, the city controls us completely and makes us live under even worse circumstances than we do right now, I'll cut my signal off. I mean it, old sport. I'll remove myself from the system. Because i cant live that way.
Radio out.
This is literally me right now , all day everyday
rereading radio silence and putting off uni work is literally my life now
"Do you listen to universe city?"
" i am universe city "
if they really wanted to see you, they'd COME !!! but they won't. who cares ? /ly
Omgg why is this soo real
I wish i could watch spn for the first time again
I wish i could listen to October passed me by for the first time again
I wish i could read The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo for the first time again
But i don't wish i could read Radio Silence for the first time again, because everytime i read it it just gets better
Radio Silence (an Aled Last CMV) @the-dreamers-production
Do you ever just go :
IN DISTRESS . STUCK IN UNIVERSE CITY. SEND HELP.
Hello.
I hope somebody is listening
I'm sending out this call via radio signal long outdated I know but perhaps one of the few methods of communication that the city has forgotten to monitor, in a dark and desperate cry for help, things in universe city are not what they seam I cannot Tell you who I am but please call me, please just call me radio, radio silence, I am after all only a voice on a radio and their might not be anyone listening, I wonder if nobody is listening to my voice am I making any sound at all?
Re-reading radio silence, is like reliving an old memory, a one that is "yours", a one that YOU own . And we never even get to do that with our "real life" "own" memories, and at this point I'm not even sure why we keep combining the word "real" with the word "life".
i finally made a uquiz
https://uquiz.com/lpHbok
take it :)