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Me (eating alone in a cafe): *open phone to look at myself every five minutes to make sure I’m pretty*
My brain: The fuck are you doing
Me: Well I gotta look pretty
My brain: Why tho? You’re alone and no one’s looking at you
Me: Yeah but what if my soulmate comes in??
My brain: YOU DON’T EVEN BELIEVE IN SOULMATES
Me: Okay- true- but what if a cute person comes in?
My brain:
Me: There you go
My brain: WHY WOULD SOMEONE EVEN LOOK AT YOU
Me: IDK LET ME DREAM