Tw Mia - Blog Posts

I want to look malnourished 

You’d be surprised what lengths people will go to not to face what’s real and painful inside them

I wish I had more friends, it sucks ass when you've only got 2 people to text when bored but they hardly reply 😂

I haven't lost weight in 5 days and I'm under eating I'm seen a few people say to eat regularly for a day. Has this work for you?

550 Cals for today! Ate quite a bit for little Cals!

Lunch: 350 -

creamy tomato soup

2 homemade mini chicken tacos

Dinner: 187

Deer roast- 67 (ate a small amount)

Small corn cob with butter- 120

Probably over estimated but better safe than sorry.

I've been stick at 183 for 5 days 😤

I haven't shit so I know when I do it'll help but God damn

I've ate 600 Cals some days, 400 some, and 800.

I wanna see the scale moovvee

I ate a higher amount than I'm pleased with. 830 calories and I probably over estimated but I ate at a restaurant so I'm not sure how many calories there was in general.

Grilled chicken- 170 but rounding to 300 incase of any oils. (Didn't taste any but not sure)

Fries - 300 (pretty sure I'm over estimating, they looked and tasted baked and there wasn't much fries at all, maybe a little over a serving?)

Few bites of bread with a small amount of butter - 80

Ketchup-50

Eggs blueberry waffle - 90

820 Cals in total but I really feel like I over counted and binged at the same time.

the fact that literally everyone I know in my life knows I'm ⭐️ving and they won't do anything. I win!

~Wieiad~

10•21•24

Breakfast:

• ?g cashews - ~175c

Total: ~175

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~My friend got trail mix this evening and we had been hanging out all day so I took some cashews to not raise suspicion but I really wish I wouldn’t have T . T Ik it wasn’t 200c so I’m not too upset about it ig but my fast is ruined now :C

I wasn’t planning on fasting tomorrow but I might now..tbd..

~Wieiad~

10•20•24

Breakfast:

• 27g Mini Blueberry Protein Bar - 104c

• 3 Unsalted Rice Cakes - ~125c

• 12g Chopped Dates - 39c

• 31g Caramel Rice Cakes - 119c

• Vitamins - 100c

Total: 487c

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I broke my fast right before I went to sleep.. I feel like maybe I could’ve lasted until this morning but my family has a history of heart attacks and my heart wasn’t acting like it’s usual self so I didn’t want to risk anything. Once I’m on my own it won’t matter but while I’m with my parents I’d prefer not to traumatize them if they even care enough lol.. I didn’t do too bad with the cal intake though, so ig there’s something kind of positive to think about? - and I’ve started another fast but I’m hanging out with a friend tomorrow and food might be around * . * Hopefully I can completely avoid eating but idk if I’ll be able to fast for as long as I’d like to :c I’ll l bring a can of green beans or something else low cal just in case so I hopefully don’t cause any suspicion. My friend used to have an 3d so she’s already pretty aware of some issues I have but I don’t want her to know the full extent of much I’m restricting myself.. but besides the food stuff- tomorrow should be fun. I’m going to help her move some plants and other stuff to her new house and we haven’t seen each other in a few weeks so we’ll have a decent amount to catch each other up on✨

(Side note: Caramel rice cakes are pretty good. I avoided them for a while but I got some a few days ago and they might be a new safe food for me now, I haven’t decided yet.. Cals aren’t great but it’s the lowest it can possibly be so I have to deal with it or avoid it again)

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~Tw 3d Question~

How effective is purging when you make yourself vomit? And what should I do for after care?

~ Vent ~

Something I keep thinking about is that my childhood friend told me ~4 months ago that she couldn’t imagine me skinny after she saw how different the pantry was at my parents house. Which is valid for her life experience with me, and great motivation, but wtf…. I’m kind of scared to meet up with her again after I lose more weight. I don’t want her to say anything else about my body.. and she’s one of the luckiest people on earth because she grew up SKINNY, and literally just because of genetics. Her whole family is thin.. lucky mfs lol -but we used to hang out frequently and we’d both eat a lot growing up, and she still does. The last time I hung out with her, she got a honey bun from a convenience store after she ate a sausage the length of a paper plate, and a slice of chocolate cake like 30mins-1 hour before… It’s possible she has some mental stuff going on as well because of struggling to gain weight, but to make such a comment about another person isn’t very mindful. My brain is kind of taking it as “I can’t imagine you being a healthy weight”. - not that I wanna be lol - but sis basically said that without actually saying it.. She knows I grew up FAT AF, a damn boulder, so I’m just struggling to understand how she could say that. In most cases, a persons health is the most important thing, and what she said really makes me feels like she wants me to stay big subconsciously. But, she picked the word skinny and not healthy, so maybe I’m just thinking too much into it lol.. Either way though, it’s still motivating me to do better so ultimately it doesn’t matter, but it does make me anxious about my relationship with her; and the pantry is so different now too compared to what it was the last time she saw it. So actually, I am very scared of her coming over lol.. and I don’t like that I feel that way, I love her a lot. I’m just not as comfortable around her now :c

~Breakfast~

9•27•24

•Details•

111g Carrot Slices - 46c

84g Celery Slices - 12c

19g Small Tomatoes - 6c

48g Red Grapes - 33c

80g Plum - 37c

Total: 143c

•Macros•

Carbs - 32g

Protein - 3g

Fat - 0g

Fiber - 6g

Sodium - 146mg

Calcium - 81mg

I’m not really a tomato fan so I only ate 1 and half instead of 3… and the amount of protein is pathetic, but I’m nearly out of fresh fruits and veggies so soon I can focus more on macros. I’m not using my own hard earned money to buy groceries rn so the least I waste the better.

Weight loss is great but what no one talks about is buying new clothes.

I lost 10kg in 4 months and literally nothing in my wardrobe fits me anymore. Nothing looks good. Now I’ll have to spend bunch of money for new wardrobe.

I know it’s amazing and I am happy it’s just annoying. And also how could I be that fatttt

I swear if I’m not skinny this summer I’m gonna kms

Looking for mutuals to lose 5kg in April

My stats:

20 she/her

165cm/5’4

55kg/121lbs

I just need someone to do this with so I stay motivated and don’t binge

Preferably someone from Europe

I hit my plateau 😭😭

No matter what I do I can’t get lower than 54kg.

My boyfriend told me he wants me to gain a little bit of weight

I’m speechless💀

Guys what should I doooo?

✨Lunch✨

Soba noodles 99kcal

Shrimps 64kcal

Cucumber 11kcal

Kimchi 6kcal

Leek 4kcal

Sweet soy sauce 10kcal

Total 194kcal

I was heavily restricting yesterday and guess how much weight I lost?

✨nothing ✨

I want to kms

I was 57,9kg this morning!!!

Fucking finallyyyyy

I’m so motivated to reach my goal weight by Christmas

My boyfriend broke up with me.

Let’s get back on my ed bullshit because I’m worthless anyway

Things to do Instead of eating!

• Go on a walk

• Read

• workout ( recommend Shirlyn Kim!)

• clean your room

• Take a Everything shower

• study

• go shopping or online shop

• Binge watch Movies

• talk someone

• Draw

• scroll on tik tok

• listen to music

• make a new playlist

• paint your nails

• write

• learn how to play an instrument

• hangout with some friends

• try a new makeup routine

• spend time with your pet

• sing

Eu odeio bolo, odeio, odeio, odeio, cada vez que eu como morro de raiva mas quando começo não consigo parar. . . Por isso vou ser sempre essa porcaria gorda

Devia ter me pesado antes de comer. Porra que merda!

Binged really bad yesterday, was only able to purge like under a quarter of it up before my throat began to burn too much so I took a little more than 15 laxatives I think. I feel and look so disgusting, the binge wasn’t even enjoyable. I want to water fast for the next 3 days to clear my system, but theres this voice inside my head that keeps trying to get me to binge again “it’s only 1 more day” “you still have food left in the freezer you can binge on, you don’t want to waste it after spending so much money on it do you” “you can just purge it out” “if you don’t binge now you not be able to ever again” and bullshit like that. I’m not even hungry, I’m still sickly full despite purging and digesting most of it, but I just want to eat.

Binging will be the death of me, if not by physically causing me to have a heart attack then most definitely by making me kill myself.